Bachelor fan favorite Bekah Martinez is enjoying mom life after revealing late last year that she was pregnant with her first child. But on Tuesday she sent the Internet into a frenzy after posting a photo of herself breastfeeding while holding a glass of wine—something that had mommy shamers calling her out en masse, even though most medical experts agree that alcohol in careful moderation will not affect a baby while nursing.
To be clear, Martinez did make sure people knew she wasn’t breastfeeding and drinking at the same time. In the caption she wrote that she “was waiting patiently for her [daughter] to finish nursing before beginning my (single!) glass of wine :).”
That didn’t stop the torrent of angry comments: “Just stop breastfeeding [if] you can’t commit to your daughter,” one person said. Another piped in, “How stupid are you?”
Breastfeeding and drinking—as long as it’s in moderation—is fine according to most experts. The CDC says that while not drinking is the safest option, “generally, moderate alcohol consumption by a breastfeeding mother (up to one standard drink per day) is not known to be harmful to the infant, especially if the mother waits at least two hours after a single drink before nursing.” As some commenters pointed out, it doesn’t appear that Martinez was guzzling an entire bottle; she simply planned to have one glass after feeding her baby.
Martinez, who keeps things pretty personal, isn’t the only mom who has been questioned for her breastfeeding habits. The situation was pretty similar to one Jessie James Decker found herself tangled in last year; she laid down the law, telling mommy shamers she didn’t care what they thought.
Moments like these are indicative of a larger judgment that woman face when they become new moms or reveal that they’re expecting. Just this month a pregnant woman’s Reddit post went viral when she explained that a stranger at her local coffee shop grabbed a drink out of her hand and threw it in the trash, saying, “You can’t have it, you’re not allowed.”
Even when it’s well-intentioned, those who aren’t informed simply shouldn’t make comments, let alone decisions about women’s bodies. Period. (FYI, having a coffee while you’re pregnant isn’t harmful, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists—a.k.a. the people who are informed enough to make decisions about maternal health.) Just another reminder that mom shaming is rarely helpful or productive.
