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I Got a “Mommy Makeover”—But It Wasn’t About Losing Weight


The term “Mommy Makeover” is misleading; there is no single surgery that reconstructs the body of a mother. Instead, with the help of a board-certified plastic surgeon, a woman can customize a series of operations specific to her body. For many women who have breastfed, a Mommy Makeover will mean breast augmentation rather than breast reduction—a less expensive and less invasive surgery. But a Mommy Makeover nearly always includes a tummy tuck, a surgical procedure designed to eliminate the loose skin and excess fat apparent after childbirth.

40 weeks pregnant

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Two weeks postpartum

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Three weeks post-surgery

As anyone still reeling from a cesarean can confirm, abdominal surgery forces a slow, painful recovery—and a tummy tuck is abdominal surgery at its very worst. Part of the procedure involves tightening the abdominal wall by suturing together the musculature. For the first few weeks after my surgery, I could neither lie supine nor stand up straight. My sore body existed in the limbo of the permanent forward-leaning crouch. In the shower, I sat on a library stool, unable to stand fully.

For one week, there were drains and plastic tubes running through my lymphatic system and routed outward into egg-shaped containers I had to empty of blood and fluid daily. There were daily, self-administered shots of Lovenox, a blood-thinner used to prevent post-surgical patients from developing deadly blood clots.

There were compression garments, required for anyone undergoing large-scale skin or fat removal. Patients should expect to wear them for up to six weeks, day and night. For the first few weeks, I couldn’t pick up my children because heavy lifting can impair the healing of the breast and stomach tissue; and the anchor-shaped suture line at the base of my breast is particularly prone to pressure. As someone accustomed to caring for my children and cooking their meals, the concession of forced relaxation felt like imprisonment. I wanted to have my house clean. I wanted quality dinner with my children at night. Most of all, I wanted to pick my toddler up when he came to me, arms outstretched. If you can’t comfort your child when he comes to you in need, are you doing your best as a parent? I hoped that, in the broader sense, the answer to that question was yes.

Like all plastic surgery, the Mommy Makeover—no matter its iteration—comes at a cost. In my case, insurance covered the majority of my surgery, owing to several medical conditions that required attention (severe muscle separation, an umbilical hernia, large breasts that were coverable under my insurance’s necessity provision). That meant that the expenses for which I was responsible were far less than the average woman’s. I paid for medications out-of-pocket, as well as the negotiated rate ($1,000) for a required hospital stay, the result of severe anemia.

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The author with her kids

But for most women, the cost of a Mommy Makeover hovers around $20,000 for outpatient surgery. Many plastic surgeons can help with financing plans, and certain credit cards like Care Credit and Alphaeon, have 6-, 12-, and 24-month offers at zero percent APR. Still, the surgery is, admittedly, not cheap—and, as is often the case, this brand of empowerment can be prohibitive. Forget, for a moment, the sheer cost, which could easily impoverish a family. Surgery like this, a massive undertaking, requires help in the form of sick leave, childcare assistance, and a partner willing and able to up the ante on domestic duties. Not every household can accommodate these needs; in fact, most cannot.

The hard fought reward? I have reclaimed myself. My weight has not changed (that was never the point), but my body has. The sweatpants that signified my prison are back in the drawer. I’m not consumed with dread when I look in the mirror. Best of all, I can be a fearless, fun mother, which an immeasurable gift. I haven’t started running again yet; most patients aren’t cleared for rigorous exercise until six weeks after surgery. I have dusted off my double-jogger, though, and I hope to take my children, and my new-ish body, out on the pavement again for a 5k in July. The road ahead seems bright.



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Bekah Martinez's Breastfeeding Photo Brought Out The Mommy Shamers


Bachelor fan favorite Bekah Martinez is enjoying mom life after revealing late last year that she was pregnant with her first child. But on Tuesday she sent the Internet into a frenzy after posting a photo of herself breastfeeding while holding a glass of wine—something that had mommy shamers calling her out en masse, even though most medical experts agree that alcohol in careful moderation will not affect a baby while nursing.

To be clear, Martinez did make sure people knew she wasn’t breastfeeding and drinking at the same time. In the caption she wrote that she “was waiting patiently for her [daughter] to finish nursing before beginning my (single!) glass of wine :).”

That didn’t stop the torrent of angry comments: “Just stop breastfeeding [if] you can’t commit to your daughter,” one person said. Another piped in, “How stupid are you?”

Breastfeeding and drinking—as long as it’s in moderation—is fine according to most experts. The CDC says that while not drinking is the safest option, “generally, moderate alcohol consumption by a breastfeeding mother (up to one standard drink per day) is not known to be harmful to the infant, especially if the mother waits at least two hours after a single drink before nursing.” As some commenters pointed out, it doesn’t appear that Martinez was guzzling an entire bottle; she simply planned to have one glass after feeding her baby.

Martinez, who keeps things pretty personal, isn’t the only mom who has been questioned for her breastfeeding habits. The situation was pretty similar to one Jessie James Decker found herself tangled in last year; she laid down the law, telling mommy shamers she didn’t care what they thought.

Moments like these are indicative of a larger judgment that woman face when they become new moms or reveal that they’re expecting. Just this month a pregnant woman’s Reddit post went viral when she explained that a stranger at her local coffee shop grabbed a drink out of her hand and threw it in the trash, saying, “You can’t have it, you’re not allowed.”

Even when it’s well-intentioned, those who aren’t informed simply shouldn’t make comments, let alone decisions about women’s bodies. Period. (FYI, having a coffee while you’re pregnant isn’t harmful, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists—a.k.a. the people who are informed enough to make decisions about maternal health.) Just another reminder that mom shaming is rarely helpful or productive.



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