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‘Wild’ Author Cheryl Strayed Knows the Secret to Finding Love After Loss


I really, really, really, really grieved the loss of my first marriage, even though I was the one who said, “I don’t want to be married anymore. Let’s end this.” But it was a different kind of grief than the grief I had for my mom. I’ll always grieve my mom. It’ll be a loss that will always be a hard one for me. The loss of my first marriage was a temporary grief; it was a temporary loss.

There shouldn’t be this timeline for grief. I think pathologizing pain is something that our culture does quite well. You should be sad if somebody you love deeply dies. That’s a normal response to a really sad, hard thing that happened. The first [step to healing] is to accept that sorrow is real and it’s going to take some time for it to lift. And then once it does lift a bit, to accept that—to accept that that’s not a sign of your lack of love, or commitment, or dedication to that person, but that it’s really that your loss is shifting into something a little deeper, where you’re starting to say, “I realize that this thing is true. This is a fact. My dad isn’t going to reappear like a magic genie and be there in my life again, ever again,” or, “My mom isn’t.”

We have to carry it—to say that the person is gone forever, but at the same time will always be present, so that in the absence of the beloved, there is a profound presence that we can make manifest in our lives by the things we do, and live, and believe, and say.

I love my kids the same way my mother loved me, and perhaps that’s the most powerful way I’ve carried her; I’ve carried that full-throttle-wild-abandon-imperfect-but-without-any-question-it’s-there love that I got from my mom, and I give it to my kids and they carry it forward. They’ll carry it onward. She’s alive in them; she’s alive in their spirits even though they never met her.

The power of vulnerability is also truly magic. Vulnerability, I’ve become convinced, is the way to get love. And of course, many of us decide not to be vulnerable because we’re afraid. But vulnerability is the way to get love, romantic or otherwise. The minute you’re the one who says, “I’m afraid right now,” or, “I’m missing my mom,” or, “I am in the midst of a divorce,” the minute you simply say what’s true, people open themselves up to you, and they offer you consolation—an essential connection.

I think that so much of loving well is about courage. It’s about telling the truth as soon as possible, as often as you can. That’s the secret to a good life, and that’s about vulnerability. Vulnerability is simply telling the truth about who you are, as often as you can, in any given situation. And nobody said any of this was going to be easy. If you’re looking for love again, there’s just no way around the fact that you have to be vulnerable in order to connect with others. Nobody’s going to love a cardboard-box version of you. Nobody wants to feel like they’re knocking at a closed door when they’re in a relationship with you. We want the real, juicy, meaty you. We want the tender stuff on the inside.



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Cheryl Burke On Being a Bridezilla for her Wedding


Fans of two-time Dancing with the Stars champion Cheryl Burke know exactly what they’re going to get when they watch her compete on Monday nights: a strict, dedicated coach who demands her partners give it their all and then some. Off the dance floor, Burke demands the same of herself. “I’m the same person you see on [the show],” she says. “I have an addictive personality and I’m addicted to work.”

That’s why it should come as no surprise that when planning her May 23 wedding to actor Matthew Lawrence, Burke knew exactly what she wanted. She proudly owns up to the many sleepless nights she spent making sure every last detail was checked off. But unlike most brides who cringe at the word bridezilla, Burke says she’s a proud member of the club. A day after returning from her honeymoon with Lawrence, she tells Glamour’s Jessica Radloff what she learned from the experience, and why it’s perfectly OK to embrace your inner bridezilla.

Growing up, I never thought about my wedding. I was not that girl. To be honest, I didn’t believe in it. Fast forward a few decades and I’m bringing my laptop and 200 thank you notes with me on my honeymoon because I wanted to get a head start. Funny how things change.

I didn’t start to even think about my actual wedding until Matthew proposed. And then things really amped up when I hired the incredible Mindy Weiss as my wedding planner. But before that? Nope.

And now? I say embrace your inner bridezilla. I sure did. But there’s a way of doing it without having people hate you. A bridezilla can either be bitchy [to the point where] friends ghost them after the wedding or there’s a bridezilla like me that expected perfection from myself, not from anyone else. It’s the same thing when I’m on Dancing with the Stars. If I know I didn’t do my best, I won’t be able to sleep at night. It’s important for me to follow through with whatever expectations I have for myself.

Lawrence and Burke

Amy and Stuart Photography

Everyone says ‘You’re going to forget something on your wedding day,’ and it makes me proud to say I did not forget one thing. I was like, ‘I deserve an award for this!’ It’s so important to me for things to run smoothly and on time. I went to a wedding once that started an hour late, and I don’t appreciate that. I think it’s really rude. Honestly, now that my wedding is done, I’m pretty sure Mindy Weiss would hire me.

I knew we’d get along because she didn’t roll her eyes when I presented a PowerPoint presentation at our first meeting. She was like, ‘It makes my job easier because you know what you want and I can make whatever vision you want come to life.’ She said it’s when clients are indecisive that the process gets frustrating. I get that. If you leave people with options, then there’s too many cooks in the kitchen.

Listen, I’m not telling people to do backflips down the aisle. This isn’t a circus act. I’ve been to enough weddings to know what works and what doesn’t. And what doesn’t work is when you tell your bridal party, ‘Do whatever you want or wear whatever you want,’ when you actually have an opinion. I think it’s rude to give people that freedom if you’re just going to judge them afterward.

But I’ll be the first one to say that choosing a dress was a nightmare. It wasn’t so much the choosing as it was working with the design companies. Oddly enough, I knew it was going to be a nightmare. I play dress-up every single day on Dancing with the Stars, so for me, the goal was to feel like a bride and not like I’m about to put on a show. I just knew what I wanted.

Cheryl Burke and wedding party

Burke and her wedding party.

Amy and Stuart Photography

I went through two wedding dress designers who quit. To be honest, I think some of that had to do with the crazy contracts they wanted me to sign. Who signs a contract for a dress? When the first designer quit, I was like, ‘That’s rude, but moving on.’ Also, I’m so used to the turnaround being so quick with dresses, that when you don’t send me the sketch and it’s been three months, there’s a problem. Not communicating with me is the worst thing you can possibly do, whether it’s an email or a text. Just respond, even if the response is, ‘Sorry, I can’t right now.’ Otherwise you leave me and my wedding party out to dry. So when it happened again, I was like, ‘Whatever, it wasn’t meant to be.’ And in the end, I’m so happy because my eventual wedding designer, Romona Keveza, was the best.



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'Riverdale' Season 2 Episode 20 Recap: Cheryl Might Be in Huge Danger


All I have to say after tonight’s Riverdale is this: Protect. Cheryl. Blossom. At. All. Costs. But I’m getting ahead of myself—here’s what happened.

Everything’s officially about the freaking Black Hood again (ugh). Archie’s convinced he’s out there and is going door to door staring into random men’s eyes to find him. Hiram thinks Archie should get his former Dark Circle members to track the Black Hood down, but we all know how that toxic masculine mess worked out last time. Also, the way Betty creepily looks at her dad, Hal, at the breakfast table in the next scene makes me think she suspects he’s the culprit (which wouldn’t be a surprise).

Meanwhile, Hiram’s mafia friends are sending their sons to Riverdale to “court” Veronica to form alliances with the Lodge family. They were all impressed with Veronica’s ransoming of Nick St. Clair last week and now want in with the family. I’m here for this plot point if it means more hot dudes on the show.

OK, yup, Betty definitely thinks Hal is the Black Hood, and she confides in Cheryl about this because (1) Cheryl’s dad turned out to be a murderer, and (2) Cheryl has all the answers to life’s questions. She tells Betty to tread lightly, tosses her hair, and leaves. So wise.

And, yup, Archie convinces his band of doofus jocks (and perfect Kevin) to join the Dark Circle again. They get fired up when Moose tells them he and Midge had a fight backstage at Carrie because she revealed she was cheating on him with a Serpent. The Serpents and the Dark Circle have a light physical tussle about this. It’s annoying and reeks of testosterone. Like, just chill, you adolescent boys.

PHOTO: The CW

Veronica meets with the mafia sons gunning for her family’s attention and decides to indulge Elio, a snack-and-a-half who wants the Lodges to invest in his parents’ casinos. Hiram brushes Veronica off when she talks to him about this, which is rude, but also this is such a boring storyline so let’s move on.

Thank God, we’re back to something good. Betty manages to steal her father’s planner and sees that all the Black Hood murder dates align with it. Betty recruits Queen Cheryl to help her sift through the evidence when she gets a call from the morgue, saying she has to come down there to identify a “warm corpse.” She thinks it’s Chic, but it’s not. The whole ordeal, though, shakes Betty to her core.

Across town, Jughead’s pissed because the new sheriff won’t hand over the footage he gave him that shows Fangs in Midge Klump’s dressing room right before she was killed. It makes Fangs look guilty, which hurts the Serpents’ image, ergo bolstering the Lodge’s agenda—which is exactly what Jughead doesn’t want. What I want, though, is to focus solely on Cheryl and Betty’s plot line, but that’s not going to happen.

This is sort of interesting, though. The Black Hood leaves a note on Fred Andrews’ door saying he’s a “sinner” and “next” on his kill list. The Lodges want to cancel the debate because of this, but Fred isn’t cowering down because, apparently, chest-puffing runs in the Andrews family.

Pivot to Betty, who tells her parents everything: that she gave Chic over to the Black Hood and that’s it’s partially her fault if he’s dead. She says she has a “darkness” inside of her, and Hal responds by weirdly saying he also has a similar “darkness.” OMG, he’s so the Black Hood. Hal Effing Cooper!

Chapter Thirty-Four: Judgment Night

PHOTO: THE CW

The new Sheriff, however, thinks it’s Fangs, because that video of him with Midge Klump leaked—so he arrests him. Archie’s back to waiting by his front door at night with a baseball bat like a boy playing cops and robbers. The Dark Circle vandalizes a Serpent bar to “celebrate” Fangs’ arrest, which is honestly just so much raging masculinity that it makes me want to vom. Archie reprimands them, but they’re unapologetic. Reggie then spills to Archie that Hiram’s paying the other Dark Circle members, and he told Reggie the organization is “his now.” Oof. Mark Consuelous is up to no good, as per usual!

Betty and Cheryl, however, are up to something delicious. Betty discovers that Hal is still renting out a room at a motel even though he’s back at home, so she and Cheryl go to check it out. As Cheryl iconically puts it, the room might be Hal’s “serial killer lair.”

And they find some pretty damning evidence: the Nancy Drew code book that the Black Hood used to communicate with Betty. Does this mean…Hal is the Black Hood? Either way, I’m eternally grateful this storyline is giving Cheryl a ton of screen time. Hal says the book was a “present” for Betty. He found it, remembered how much she loved it, and ordered it for her birthday. That sounds like bullshit.

But holy crap: During the mayor debate between Hermione and Fred, the Black Hood or some other psycho killer shows up and starts shooting up the town hall. Hermione’s shook about it, and Veronica’s pissed that Hiram doesn’t seem concerned his plans could cost Hermione her life. Veronica chews out Hiram and says she’s going to go forth with her casino plan with the money she got from Nick St. Clair’s parents. Hiram, however, put that money in a trust.

Chapter Thirty-Three: Shadow of a Doubt

PHOTO: The CW

It’s also clear Hiram’s using the Dark Circle to drum up chaos in Riverdale. He tells Reggie that Fangs is going to be released from jail, knowing it will fire him up. A mob is crowded outside the station where Fangs is about to be released. When he’s finally out, Reggie stampedes toward him with a gun but Archie intercepts. However, somehow, Fangs ends up getting shot anyway, but we don’t know by whom.

As this is happening, Betty asks her dad to meet her at the town hall to finish the conversation they had about the Nancy Drew book. Hal agrees to meet her, but he never shows up. Coincidentally, Cheryl receives a knock on the door at the same time: It’s the Black Hood. Coming to Thistle House. To Harm Cheryl. Nope, nope, nope. It’s all fun and games until Cheryl’s life is in danger. Now I’m pissed. Leave the only flawless character on this show alone!

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The 'Riverdale' Musical Episode Will Finally Give Cheryl the Spotlight She Deserves


The trailer and rumblings around Riverdale‘s musical episode confirm it’s going to be epic. For one, Cheryl Blossom, the show’s most important but woefully underused character, snagged the lead, titular role in Riverdale High’s production of Carrie: The Musical. That means she’ll be up front and center (preferably with a spotlight on her at all times) as Jughead (Cole Sprouse), Archie (KJ Apa), and the less iconic characters sway in the background.

In fact, Jughead’s quite literally going to be in the background: He’s not even in the musical. Kevin Keller (Casey Cott), the director, has tasked him with filming behind-the-scenes footage, which leaves plenty of room for Cheryl to get the shine she deserves.

Riverdale‘s showrunner Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa told Glamour this was an intentional move. “Jughead has always been Riverdale‘s resident storyteller, so it actually made sense for him to be the documentarian for the production,” he said. If you read my recaps, you know I’ve been eagerly waiting for this to happen. Jughead’s beanies have been dominating Riverdale‘s narrative for far too long.”

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Honestly, though, Jughead might still dominate the narrative, even behind the camera. The Riverdale musical episode hasn’t aired yet, so it’s unclear how prominent Cheryl or Jughead or any of the characters will be. This show is known for its twist and turns, so fans should expect the unexpected going into this specialty episode.

That’s essentially what Aguirre-Sacasa told us when we sat down with him to chat about it. “People who aren’t fans of the original Carrie: The Musical stage adaptation are going to love this episode just as much as die-hard fans out there, and I have a feeling will inspire a new generation of Carrie: The Musical fans,” he said.

The episode, however, isn’t just dedicated to staging Carrie: The Musical. The same storylines from the last episode, which aired March 28, will play into this one. Remember, everyone has essentially turned against Veronica (Camila Mendes) after they found out she knew about her parents’ plans to turn South Side High into a prison. This musical, though, forces the characters to come together for a unified cause.

“All of the previous storylines from this season definitely play into the musical episode in a big way,” Aguirre-Sacasa said. “At this point in the season, all the various relationships between the characters have become so fractured, and this production of Carrie: The Musical really brings our characters back together in a big way.”

One of those “fractured” relationships is between Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch) and Josie (Ashleigh Murray). In the last episode Penelope Blossom essentially manipulated Josie into thinking Cheryl was creepily obsessed with her. This, in turn, caused Josie to bail on plans to break Cheryl out of Sisters of Quiet Mercy. Aguirre-Sacasa told Glamour we’ll see this relationship play out in the musical episode.

PHOTO: The CW

“You’ll see in this episode how we tackle that relationship head-on,” Aguirre-Sacasa said. “Cheryl’s been through a lot these past two seasons, and you really feel for her and her journey by the end of this episode. Hopefully, Josie can be as understanding as our audience.”

Aguirre-Sacasa teased other character developments for Cheryl, as well—specifically about her love life. (In case you somehow forgot, Riverdale High’s resident queen bee came out of the closet a few episodes back.)

“It’s funny because in season one, one note we kept getting was that Cheryl didn’t have a romantic plot line, but the timing and the story never felt right,” he said. “She was dealing with the loss of her brother and her father’s betrayal throughout the first season, so we always knew in season two we would want to dive in deeper with her character.”

So does this mean Riverdale‘s going to dive deeper, as Aguirre-Sacasa puts it, into Cheryl’s relationship with Toni Topaz (Vanessa Morgan)? After all, the two Riverdale Vixens did kiss after Cheryl escaped Sisters of Quiet Mercy, so perhaps Toni’s the unexpected love interest fans have been waiting for.

“In terms of [Cheryl’s] relationship with Toni, Madelaine and Vanessa have been friends for a while, so they already have such great chemistry together,” Aguirre-Sacasa said. “With the introduction of Toni, we realized there was this whole aspect of Cheryl we had yet to explore, and felt this was the perfect introduction to this side of everyone’s favorite River Vixen.”

Regardless of what happens, Cheryl will have at least one family member on her side: Nana Rose. The grand matriarch of the Blossom family fed Toni information about Cheryl’s whereabouts when she was missing—directly defying Penelope Blossom and Uncle Claudius, who disapprove of Cheryl and Toni’s relationship and sent Cheryl away for gay conversion therapy.

Chapter Thirty-One: A Night to Remember

PHOTO: The CW

“We thought it was important to show that Cheryl does have genuine love and acceptance in her life from somebody in her family,”Aguirre-Sacasa added. “It’s good to balance that out with the nefarious actions of Penelope and Uncle Claudius. Nana Rose is definitely a ‘Choni’ shipper.” That being said, Aguirre-Sacasa did add we’re not done seeing the “inner horrors of the Sisters of Quiet Mercy,” so Cheryl may not be out of the woods just yet.

We’re also not out of the woods with the Black Hood. March 28’s episode implied that Arthur Adams (John Behlmann), one of Hiram Lodge’s (Mark Consuelos) goonies, is the masked madman who we thought was dead but is still wreaking havoc around town. Aguirre-Sacasa says we shouldn’t rule him—or anyone else—out, because the mystery isn’t over yet. “At this point, it’s safe to say that everyone is still a suspect,” he said. Yeesh.

Riverdale‘s musical episode airs Wednesday, April 18 at 8:00 P.M. ET on The CW.

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'Riverdale' Is Making Cheryl the Star of a Musical Episode, So Get Her Tony Ready


There’s an egregious lack of Cheryl Blossom on Riverdale this season. I’ve made that point several times over. In lieu of snappy monologues from the queen of Riverdale High, we get fleeting one-liners and hours of Archie looking confused. It’s criminal, but thankfully showrunners are making up for it in the best way possible. The CW just announced that Riverdale is doing a musical episode, and it will star—you guessed it—Cheryl Marjorie Blossom. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of sweet justice being served.

Per a press release sent by the CW, the Riverdale High School drama department is putting on a rendition of Carrie: The Musical, and it will star Cheryl in the titular role. And yes, I’m talking about the Carrie in which a teen with telekinetic powers is bullied by her classmates and then burns down the prom in a vengeful rage—which is child’s play compared with the shenanigans on Riverdale. Chris Hargensen doesn’t have anything on the Black Hood, TBH.

Chris, if you forget, is the queen-bee mean girl in Carrie who leads the war against Carrie. She’ll be portrayed by Veronica Lodge on Riverdale. Betty Cooper and Archie Andrews are playing the popular couple Sue Snell and Tommy Ross; Josie snagged the role of the gym teacher, Miss Gardner; and Alice Cooper is playing Carrie’s religious-zealot mother, Margaret, which is spot-on casting if it ever existed. Just picture her and Cheryl onstage together! The two best characters on this show are finally getting their due, while Archie is relegated to supporting status. Delicious.

Even better: Jughead Jones is not in the play. Nope, he’s filming a “behind-the-scenes documentary” about the production because of course he is. My one true love, Kevin Keller, is directing, so all of this is in beautiful hands.

Musical TV episodes are typically hit-or-miss, but with Cheryl Blossom assuming her throne at the center of this one, we have high hopes. Just imagine: an entire episode of Riverdale that doesn’t feature Jughead scowling into his laptop. Is this heaven?

The Riverdale musical episode will air April 18 at 8:00 P.M. ET on the CW.

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It's Outrageous 'Riverdale' Isn't Giving Cheryl Blossom More Screen Time


There’s something criminal happening on Riverdale this season. No, it’s not anything the Black Hood’s doing. So what if a masked murderer is running around town stalking people? That’s far from Riverdale‘s biggest problem. I’m talking, of course, about this season’s total neglect of Cheryl Blossom.

Cheryl Blossom is the most interesting character on Riverdale, full stop. Jughead’s beanie, Archie’s abs, and Betty’s fluctuating ponytail cower in the presence of Cheryl’s fire engine red-hued locks. She’s the queen bee—a star who says lines like, “You stuttering sapheads are too dim to exercise your own rights” with such intensity and seriousness, it’s scary.

Cheryl had a beefy narrative last season because the central mystery was about her murdered twin brother, Jason Blossom. But in season two, she’s been completely relegated to supporting status. In one episode, her sole purpose was to help Veronica and Betty catch Kevin cruising for guys. In another, she was just Josie’s sidekick. Hell, she literally had zero lines in the episode from November 1. That’s outrageous. It’s offensive.

Sure, things started out promising: Early teasers indicated Cheryl and her mother, Penelope, would have friction over the fire at Thornhill. But those scenes have been few and far between. Instead of a rich mother-daughter plot, we’ve watched Cheryl and Penelope eviscerate each other with some biting lines and then walk away. They’re fleeting moments—and Cheryl deserves better.

She deserves just as much time as Jughead, who we’ve watched scribble pretentious prose into his typewriter for what feels like hours on end. Or Archie, who’s spent more time pouting this season about the “Red Circle” than Cheryl has talking. In fact, it’s high time for these two to play second-fiddle to Cheryl and her adventures. I’m not kidding: I want Cheryl to spend six episodes planning a ridiculous society called the “Blue Triangle” or some shit and have Archie just aimlessly walking in the background. Betty and Veronica can stay, because let’s be real: The female characters are the best part of this show. Jughead, however, is out. Bye! As Cheryl would say…

Real talk, though: It’s disheartening to have a dynamic female character like Cheryl thrown to the wayside in favor of storylines about hunky jocks. On the exterior, yes, Cheryl may seem a bit archetypical: She’s the mean girl. The Blair Waldorf. The rich cheerleader who fat-shames her classmates and bullies the less-popular girls. But as each episode from season one passed, we learned that wasn’t her at all. Like Blair, she was vulnerable and volatile and absolutely the product of her dysfunctional upbringing. She was interesting. There were so many layers to her that we slowly started peeling off. That’s not happening in season two, though. Instead, Cheryl is just a tool to keep the larger narratives going.

But I have hope going into the latter half of this season. Madelaine Petsch, who plays Cheryl, told us that Cheryl is getting an “unexpected love interest” this season. She’s yet to have one, so that must mean it’s happening in the forthcoming episodes. Plus, there are plot points from the former half we still haven’t seen fully-fleshed out: the aftermath of her almost-assault from Nick St. Clair, her obsession with Josie, her complicated relationship with her mother. There are plenty of places Riverdale show-runners can take Cheryl. Let’s hope they deliver.

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