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Cheryl Burke On Being a Bridezilla for her Wedding


Fans of two-time Dancing with the Stars champion Cheryl Burke know exactly what they’re going to get when they watch her compete on Monday nights: a strict, dedicated coach who demands her partners give it their all and then some. Off the dance floor, Burke demands the same of herself. “I’m the same person you see on [the show],” she says. “I have an addictive personality and I’m addicted to work.”

That’s why it should come as no surprise that when planning her May 23 wedding to actor Matthew Lawrence, Burke knew exactly what she wanted. She proudly owns up to the many sleepless nights she spent making sure every last detail was checked off. But unlike most brides who cringe at the word bridezilla, Burke says she’s a proud member of the club. A day after returning from her honeymoon with Lawrence, she tells Glamour’s Jessica Radloff what she learned from the experience, and why it’s perfectly OK to embrace your inner bridezilla.

Growing up, I never thought about my wedding. I was not that girl. To be honest, I didn’t believe in it. Fast forward a few decades and I’m bringing my laptop and 200 thank you notes with me on my honeymoon because I wanted to get a head start. Funny how things change.

I didn’t start to even think about my actual wedding until Matthew proposed. And then things really amped up when I hired the incredible Mindy Weiss as my wedding planner. But before that? Nope.

And now? I say embrace your inner bridezilla. I sure did. But there’s a way of doing it without having people hate you. A bridezilla can either be bitchy [to the point where] friends ghost them after the wedding or there’s a bridezilla like me that expected perfection from myself, not from anyone else. It’s the same thing when I’m on Dancing with the Stars. If I know I didn’t do my best, I won’t be able to sleep at night. It’s important for me to follow through with whatever expectations I have for myself.

Lawrence and Burke

Amy and Stuart Photography

Everyone says ‘You’re going to forget something on your wedding day,’ and it makes me proud to say I did not forget one thing. I was like, ‘I deserve an award for this!’ It’s so important to me for things to run smoothly and on time. I went to a wedding once that started an hour late, and I don’t appreciate that. I think it’s really rude. Honestly, now that my wedding is done, I’m pretty sure Mindy Weiss would hire me.

I knew we’d get along because she didn’t roll her eyes when I presented a PowerPoint presentation at our first meeting. She was like, ‘It makes my job easier because you know what you want and I can make whatever vision you want come to life.’ She said it’s when clients are indecisive that the process gets frustrating. I get that. If you leave people with options, then there’s too many cooks in the kitchen.

Listen, I’m not telling people to do backflips down the aisle. This isn’t a circus act. I’ve been to enough weddings to know what works and what doesn’t. And what doesn’t work is when you tell your bridal party, ‘Do whatever you want or wear whatever you want,’ when you actually have an opinion. I think it’s rude to give people that freedom if you’re just going to judge them afterward.

But I’ll be the first one to say that choosing a dress was a nightmare. It wasn’t so much the choosing as it was working with the design companies. Oddly enough, I knew it was going to be a nightmare. I play dress-up every single day on Dancing with the Stars, so for me, the goal was to feel like a bride and not like I’m about to put on a show. I just knew what I wanted.

Cheryl Burke and wedding party

Burke and her wedding party.

Amy and Stuart Photography

I went through two wedding dress designers who quit. To be honest, I think some of that had to do with the crazy contracts they wanted me to sign. Who signs a contract for a dress? When the first designer quit, I was like, ‘That’s rude, but moving on.’ Also, I’m so used to the turnaround being so quick with dresses, that when you don’t send me the sketch and it’s been three months, there’s a problem. Not communicating with me is the worst thing you can possibly do, whether it’s an email or a text. Just respond, even if the response is, ‘Sorry, I can’t right now.’ Otherwise you leave me and my wedding party out to dry. So when it happened again, I was like, ‘Whatever, it wasn’t meant to be.’ And in the end, I’m so happy because my eventual wedding designer, Romona Keveza, was the best.



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Sinéad Burke on Why the Fashion Industry Needs More Empathy For Disabled Customers


For most women, shopping is an activity that hardly requires a second thought: You enter a store or go online, you see what you like, you check out, and you leave. For Sinéad Burke, an academic and fashion writer based in Dublin, Ireland, it’s not that simple.

Burke has achondroplasia, a form of dwarfism shared by between 1 in 15,000 to 40,000 people worldwide. She describes a hypothetical trip to the mall as an ultimately discomforting experience: Standing at three feet, five inches tall, she can’t reach many of the racks where clothes are held without assistance—and when it comes time to try something on, she’s not strong enough to pull the changing room door or curtain closed on her own. (Even then, there aren’t often garments tailored to her proportions in mass brands’ stores to begin with.)

“My experience—and my independence—within that experience, is either based on you helping me or getting assistance from those who work in the shop,” Burke tells Glamour at the Savannah College of Art and Design’s annual SCADstyle conference in April, where she was speaking. “But that takes a huge amount of emotional labor for me as an individual, because I have to deliberately make myself vulnerable. It’s that lack of empathy that’s within the process that disables me and further limits my independence.”

PHOTO: John Phillips

Sinéad Burke at the Business of Fashion Voices conference last fall.

The lack of accessible spaces for people like Burke in clothing stores, as well as other venues, were among the topics she discussed in her popular March 2017 Ted Talk, “Why Design Should Include Everyone.” The presentation, during which Burke describes how disabilities are overlooked in design processes from architecture to fashion, has racked up over 1.2 million views since its publication. Though Burke had established a presence online with her fashion and culture blog, Minnie Mélange, her TedTalk catapulted her to international acclaim as an advocate for inclusive fashion and design: She has since delivered a keynote on fashion and inclusion at the Business of Fashion Voices conference (in November 2017) and was the sole female delegate to represent Ireland at the World Economic Forum in Davos in January 2018.

Fashion is essential to Burke: Its communicative powers take on additional meaning in a world that’s quick to pass judgment on her appearance. She also has a lot of fun with it—if you follow her on Instagram, you know she loves to showcase a good look, wearing pieces by Burberry and Delpozo to speaking engagements.

“For me, fashion is not just about buying into a notion or buying something that’s beautiful,” she says. “It’s about confidence and empowerment, but it also facilitates me having to explain myself.”

Burke sees clothing as a tool for combating stranger’s assumptions and biases about her disability: “[S]ometimes, I have to explain that I am older than people think I am, that I am perhaps more sophisticated than people might think I am,” she says, “and when I am dressed the way in which I want to be, I don’t have to explain that.”

In recent years, we’ve seen some brands step up to address the gaping hole in the adaptive clothing market. But Burke takes issue with the function-first approach of many of these collections—”because whilst I want coats to be functional and shoes to be functional, I also want them to be beautiful,” she argues, “and often we forget about those principles about beauty when we are designing for disability. We solely focus on the impairment and making things better.”

Burke says that expanding the current offerings at well-known, established brands to be adaptive is essential to giving customers like her the beautiful garments they deserve. She notes how she’s been approached, “very kindly” by people asking if she’d develop her own fashion line, but she replies: “I’m not a designer. [Creating my own brand] abdicates the responsibility from the fashion industry for providing for me as a customer.”

Burke emphasizes how her disability has no bearing on her sense of style: She’s an adult woman, and she wants access to luxury brands just like everyone else. “As much as we would like to think that we’re not egotistical in our aspiration to have Louis Vuitton or Prada or be embellished by labels, that is part of what we buy into: that history and that legitimacy of the fashion industry,” she says. “We need to step away from this idea that we can create a collection or a line for disabled people, and then create it for everybody else, because it’s further othering the population and segregating us.”

Last fall, Burke gave the keynote address at the 2017 Business of Fashion Voices conference—and she did so outfitted in Burberry. The brand made her a custom trench coat with an asymmetric hem; she gave some input in the design, and Burberry made a few alterations to its existing pattern during fittings. It was a memorable moment for inclusive fashion, in Burke’s experience: “For me, that process was about building a two-way communication system between me and a very heritage, established brand for something as simple as the trench coat,” she remembers. “The question about coming from that dialogue was: How can that insight from me as a disabled consumer impact the design process for ready-to-wear for everybody?”

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PHOTO: John Phillips

Burke wearing her custom Burberry coat at the Business of Fashion Voices conference.

True inclusivity, Burke says, comes down to having representation at all levels of the conversation in fashion, from the C-suite executive level at luxury brands down to retail employees. “It’s just about being more empathetic, as trite as that sounds—and in a very busy world, taking that time to think of others and constantly saying, ‘Who is not being accommodated for? And how can I use my power and privilege to bridge that gap?’,” Burke says. “I think for the process to be holistic, the disabled voice has to be participatory from the very beginning.”

The Savannah College of Art and Design paid for the writer’s travel and accommodations for the purposes of writing this story.

Related Stories:

How Fashion Brands Can—and Should—Address Shoppers With Disabilities

I’m a Woman in a Wheelchair—and I’m Tired of Not Seeing Anyone Like Me on TV

My Disability Made Me Dread Going to Weddings Alone. It Shouldn’t Have.





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#MeToo Founder Tarana Burke on What Needs to Happen After the Hashtag


I have to admit that when actress Alyssa Milano first tweeted #MeToo, my initial reaction was panic. What if this becomes a popular hashtag, I thought, but it’s not related to the groundwork I laid out? You see, I first came up with the phrase in 2006, after an experience with sexual violence left me searching for the right words. Ever since, I’ve gone to schools and community groups all over to connect with young women—mostly black and brown girls—to let them know, “You’re not alone. This happened to me too.”

After the hashtag began trending, a friend said, “Insert yourself into the conversation.” So I posted a video to Twitter about how empathy can help survivors of sexual assault. It went viral in a way that was like, “We won’t let this black woman be erased from her work.” Then, a different kind of panic set in. I thought, “oh my god. This is mass disclosure across the internet and there’s no after care. Who’s going to have the discussion of what #metoo is really about?” I had to get my arms around it.

Since, I’ve been trying to pivot the conversation to what the solutions are. The hashtag has been amazing at drawing the kind of attention we’ve never seen to sexual violence. But, each and everyone of those people who shared it is an individual person who has a story and took a chance. So a few things have to happen next.

To me, 2018 will be all about processing #MeToo. The next step in the movement will be helping women navigate what happens after they disclose an experience. It’s about what happens if someone posts #MeToo and nobody “likes” their status and how to be advocates in our communities. How to talk to children about this. Discussing the sexual harassment teenagers deal with in school.

I’m driven by the gaps, the things that are missing, the areas where marginalized people exist — and where the least resources are available for them. There’s lots of online information about sexual violence, but there’s not a lot of information about how you as an individual can start dealing with the trauma.

We keep talking about how many millions engaged with the movement, but even if just 10 percent of those people stay committed to the work, we will have created an incredible army. Because, the power of #MeToo isn’t just naming it. Naming it is just the beginning of the journey.

Activist Tarana Burke (@TaranaBurke), 44, is the founder of the #MeToo Movement. She lives in New York.





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'Dancing With the Stars' Season 25 Week 8 Recap: Trio Week Sends Home Terrell Owens and Cheryl Burke


After 25 seasons, it turns out Dancing With the Stars still has a few tricks up its sleeve. For the first time in the show’s history, producers brought back past fan favorites and champions to dance as part of trio week instead of previously eliminated pros. Kristi Yamaguchi and Alfonso Ribeiro were among the returning champs to hit the dance floor, which was a nice treat for fans still hoping for another All-Star season.

The biggest surprise, though, may have been that only one of those fan favorites—runner-up Corbin Bleu paired with Lindsay Arnold and Jordan Fisher—got a perfect score on trio week. No one else—including former champs Yamaguchi, Ribeiro, Rashad Jennings, Laurie Hernandez, or Kelly Monaco—managed to get a perfect score with their respective pairings. In their defense, that’s a hard thing to do when you’re dancing with two other people with different skill sets. Still, it’s surprising considering these kinds of dances usually result in more than one perfect score. With two weeks left to go in the competition, it couldn’t be more apparent that season 25 is Jordan Fisher and Lindsay Arnold’s to lose. Anything else will be a surprise.

Meanwhile, it was the end of the road for former NFL player Terrell Owens, who probably deserved to stay in the competition another week. “I couldn’t have asked for anything better,” he said at the end of the show. Partner Cheryl Burke added, “I’m so proud of the dancer you’ve become and the person you’ve allowed everyone to see.”

And see they will, as Cheryl and Terrell will be back in two weeks for the finale. But first, let’s get to tonight’s dances!

Terrell Owens and Cheryl Burke: “That’s the way we start off!” Len Goodman raved of Terrell and Cheryl’s Charleston. “No one has improved since week one as much as you,” he added. Carrie Ann pointed out that Terrell was peaking at the right moment. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to keep Terrell safe another week. Score: 27/30

Trio Dance with Kelly Monaco: I don’t even know what to say about this, but Kelly clearly brought her soap opera expertise to this sexed-up Rumba. Len said Kelly hasn’t lost a step, but the whole thing didn’t quite work. Bruno thought the whole thing was so sexy that he couldn’t even form words. And Carrie Ann added that she’s never seen so many women lose it (um, have we forgotten about Artem’s abs already?). Anyway, that was probably the most accurate observation of the night. Score: 24/30

Drew Scott and Emma Slater: Drew said he thinks he really could be a Mirrorball contender. Aww, isn’t that cute? I love the confidence, especially because Drew has really improved since week one, but Emma should be pointing out that the key to this show is taking it week by week. The judges told Drew they like his charm, but technically it wasn’t his strongest dance. Score: 22/30

Trio Dance with Rashad Jennings: Can Rashad come back to all future seasons of DWTS as a pro? I can’t get enough of this guy, and neither can the dance floor. As Bruno pointed out, keeping up with Rashad is a very, very hard thing to do. Drew did a great job, but there’s no one like Rashad. Score: 25/30

Victoria Arlen and Val Chmerkovskiy: Victoria said they were going to bring sexy back with their Argentine Tango, and they certainly did. Carrie Ann, meanwhile, said she dropped her eyes a lot, which meant she didn’t feel comfortable. Len thought they did a good job, but Bruno said she needs to act the part next time. Score: 24/30

Trio Dance with Laurie Hernandez: Can Laurie and Victoria be BFFs in everyday life? Their rehearsal package is the cutest. But their dance? Well, the judges thought it needed to be sharper and wasn’t quite up to the level they hoped for. Score: 24/30

Lindsey Stirling and Mark Ballas: Lindsey said that now that she knows she’s not broken anymore, she can do this. (Raise of hands for anyone who doubted her, especially after last week. No one? As I thought.) For their Samba this week, Lindsey and Mark put on a routine that belongs in the new live-action Lion King. Len called some parts “too funky,” but Bruno liked it. Carrie Ann said Lindsey brought out her inner Beyoncé, even though she may not have looked as sure on her feet as she normally does. Score: 26/30

Trio Dance with Kristi Yamaguchi: Dancing with Kristi Yamaguchi was a total thrill for Lindsey—a sentiment that is likely echoed by probably every young girl who watched her capture gold in the ’92 Olympics. Their Jazz trio dance didn’t disappoint (Len called it terrific), and Carrie Ann said she would have paid money to see it. Somehow, Bruno and Len still find a point to dock off, robbing them of a perfect score. Score: 28/30

Frankie Muniz and Witney Carson: Carrie Ann called Frankie and Witney’s Viennese Waltz lose to perfection, except for almost losing control of Witney at one point. Tom Bergeron—with the line of the night—said he’s sure that’s not the first time someone’s almost lost control of Witney. Meanwhile, Len thought last week was all scary, but this week was all fairy (oddly, I know what he means, even though the audience boos). Tom’s response? “Thanks for taking the heat off of me.” He should thank Erin as well, who added her two cents at the end that “we all know [Witney’s] had some doozy’s, but we love her anyway.” What’s going on with this show?
Score: 26/30

Trio Dance with Alfonso Ribeiro: You know Alfonso’s been dreaming of this moment ever since he won season 19 with Witney. I’ve never seen anyone so happy to be on a dance floor. We should all be so lucky to be that passionate about something. Carrie Ann noted that Frankie seemed a bit intimidated, which I guess is easy to do when THE Carlton is dancing with you. I couldn’t care less, though, because these trio dances were everything. Who needs scores? Score: 27/30

Jordan Fisher and Lindsay Arnold: I’ve been looking forward to Jordan and Lindsay’s Quickstep all season, and while it didn’t disappoint, those rotating circles straight out of the swinging ’60s took me out of the dance. I sound like Len. What is wrong with me? As for Len, he gave them a standing ovation, and he—along with Carrie Ann and Bruno—a perfect score. Score: 30/30

Trio Dance with Corbin Bleu: I mean, what can I say? Jordan and Lindsay are already perfection. Add Corbin to the mix, and it’s like adding more icing to the already decadent cake. Even Carrie Ann said it was sick AF, and well, that about sums up their Salsa. Score: 30/30



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Activist Tarana Burke Started the "Me Too" Movement 10 Years Ago


PHOTO: Courtesy of subject

Tarana Burke

While thousands of stories of sexual harassment and assault have flooded Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram in recent days, the #MeToo social movement did not, in fact, originate this past weekend. Instead, it goes back a decade—and was originated by activist Tarana Burke.

Burke, who also founded the youth organization Just Be Inc. and is now a program director at Girls for Gender Equity, started the “Me Too” campaign in 2007 to help sexual assault survivors in underprivileged communities. These were women who did not have access to rape crisis centers or counseling and as a survivor of sexual violence herself, Burke wanted to create opportunities for women to heal. As Burke told Democracy Now, the mission of the movement is “empowerment through empathy” and her goal was to bring “messages and words and encouragement to survivors of sexual violence where other people wouldn’t be talking about it.”

The phrase quickly became a trending topic after actress Alyssa Milano encouraged others to speak out and tag their posts with the #MeToo hashtag. While Burke told Ebony that it was “powerful” to see “Me Too” take off, she wants people to know that her movement goes beyond this viral moment.

“It wasn’t built to be a viral campaign or a hashtag that is here today and forgotten tomorrow,” Burke said. “It was a catchphrase to be used from survivor to survivor to let folks know that they were not alone and that a movement for radical healing was happening and possible.”

She added: “What’s happening now is powerful and I salute it and the women who have disclosed but the power of using ‘me too’ has always been in the fact that it can be a conversation starter or the whole conversation—but it was us talking to us.”

As the hashtag took off on Sunday night, Burke shared her thoughts on Twitter and reinforced that “Me Too” is more than a hashtag.

On Monday, Milano tweeted that she had been made aware of Burke’s creation of the “Me Too” movement and shared Burke’s story. However, the trending topic—and the initial credit to Milano as being its first champion—revealed yet another pervasive issue. As noted by the Huffington Post, “Feminist movements are often whitewashed when they’re brought into mainstream conversations.”

“In this instance, the celebrities who popularized the hashtag didn’t take a moment to see if there was work already being done, but they also were trying to make a larger point,” Burke told Ebony. “I don’t fault them for that part, I don’t think it was intentional but somehow sisters still managed to get diminished or erased in these situations. A slew of people raised their voices so that that didn’t happen.”

And just as Burke said, plenty of women took to Twitter to share their support for “Me Too” and thank her for starting such an important conversation.



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