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Why Is It Okay for Subway Ads to Show Erections but Not Sex Toys for Women?


Alexandra Fine is the CEO and co-founder of Dame Products, a sexual wellness company that makes sex toys for women. Last year, Dame was barred from advertising their products on New York City’s subway—even though ads about erectile dysfunction are allowed. This week, Dame announced they’re suing. Fine opened up to Glamour about what she sees as the double standards in advertising—and why it’s time we do something about it.

As you may have noticed we, societally, are not exactly thriving sexually. We’re having less sex than ever before, and only finally starting to come to terms with the intersection of power abuse and sex. Women are five times more likely to experience pain during sex and four times more likely than men to experience sex that’s not at all pleasurable. Don’t even get me started on orgasms: In one study, 91 percent of cis-men said they “usually” or “always” orgasm during sex—only 39 percent of cis-women said the same. How messed up is that?

At Dame Products, we’re on a mission to close the pleasure gap. We make toys for sex (designed by and for women) and help start a whole bunch of conversations about female pleasure. We believe that feeling joyous in our bodies, is human. It’s powerful. And we want to see more of it.

Unfortunately, while many people benefit from and desire our products, a major institution has decided that you shouldn’t see them advertised. After months of working with the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (New York City’s public transit agency) to bring Dame ads to the subway—just like ads hawking erection pills have been in the past —the MTA released updated guidelines making it clear they were banning companies like Dame from advertising sex toys—products that promote female pleasure.

The taboo is real. And it’s impacted us in so many ways. So, we’re suing the MTA.

This isn’t our first rodeo—we’ve been dealing with push back and outright bans against our ads on social media and IRL since we founded the company. It’s crazy to me: We aren’t trying to create products that encourage unhealthy behaviors, just products that help satisfy biological needs in a safe and simple way. Last year, after facing allegations that their ad policies were sexist for refusing ads from our friends at Unbound, the MTA went on record with the New York Times to say they wanted to find a solution to work with companies like ours. We saw an opening, and we were pumped.

Advertising regulations are an important part of the world—I get that. And I know splashing ads featuring sex toys all over the city is a taboo-breaking change, but it’s an important one that I think would really better society. So when the MTA said there was a way to make this work, we were willing to create ads that worked within their guidelines. Whatever we could get on the subway would mean opening the door to changing the world in a way that we believe is better for us all.

So, we reached out and began developing a set of Dame Products ads that would run in the subways. When the MTA gave us what we thought was preliminary approval of two of our ads in the fall of last year, we literally jumped for joy. We sadly didn’t have any champagne in the office but we popped the metaphorical bottles nevertheless. After we submitted the final versions, we learned that all of our ads had been rejected.



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Brazilian Women Are Throwing Elaborate C-Section Watch Parties —and Everyone’s Invited


When you think of women giving birth via Caesarean section, a big old party might not be the first thing that comes to mind—it is major abdominal surgery, after all. But a new story from the Washington Post reports that the latest maternity-related trend in Brazil features wealthy women throwing elaborate (and expensive) celebrations for their elective C-sections and inviting friends and family to watch the entire thing.

Elective C-sections, where the procedure is scheduled ahead of time, have long been popular in Brazil. The Post reports that Caeasarean births make up 55.5 percent of all deliveries in Brazil (and 84 percent in private hospitals). By comparison, the paper states that in the US that number is just 32.9 percent. Now some women are turning these births into major events and hiring “maternity planners” to plan the parties—and hospitals are starting to cater to them.

For example, there is a private hospital in São Paulo where a woman can pay 2000 reais per day (or $500) to rent out a suite that has a balcony and a mini bar, plus a living room and bathroom for guests. In the works? A new maternity ward that will have a wine cellar and a ballroom. “It’s cultural,” Marcia da Costa, the hospital’s director, told the paper. “Brazilians want to plan for everything. They don’t want to hit traffic on the way to the hospital. They want to get their nails done, get a wax, to plan it like an event.”

Mariana Casmalla had a C-section party in full makeup, complete with crystal vases filled with roses and silver trays with chocolates and cakes for her guests. “It’s a special occasion,” she told the Post. “Don’t we get dressed up for parties and special dates? It’s the same thing.” One event planner says that her clients spend around $10,000 for services like flowers, guest books, monogrammed sheets, personalized water bottles, and favors for guests.

However, the Post reports that the World Health Organization has been working for years to reduce the number of elective C-sections because they are “nearly twice as deadly for mothers than natural births and require longer recovery times for mothers and babies.”

Obviously, however women and their families should decide how they want to welcome children into the world—including privately and with little fanfare—as long as the health of all involved is the top priority. For these Brazilian women, being surrounded by people they love makes the experience that much more special. “I love it,” Bruna Viera, who spent weeks planning her scheduled birth party, told the Post. “You feel the tenderness people have for you. Many moms suffer from postpartum depression and feel isolated. Your hormones are raging. But to be surrounded by the people you love, people who saw you grow up, is extraordinary.”



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Younger Season 6 Preview: The Women Are Finally in Charge—but It's Hard at the Top


After five seasons of climbing their way up the ladder at Empirical, the women of Younger are finally getting their due. Liza (Sutton Foster) is no longer balancing coffee runs for Diana (Miriam Shor) with editing books on the side. Instead, she’s a full-on editor and co-leader of the Millennial imprint. And Kelsey (Hilary Duff) isn’t just a star publisher on the rise: She’s the head of Empirical, and the new Charles (Peter Hermann). Over the past five seasons, we’ve watched Liza and Kelsey fight for respect in the company, push to have more women’s-focused literature published, and for their imprint to be given higher status. And now they have it. All of it. They’re calling the shots and running the C-suite. “It felt weird at first. It’s just the three of us sitting in the conference rooms. It feels earned,” Sutton Foster tells Glamour. But just because it feels earned doesn’t mean the women of Younger are ready to celebrate.

The first episode of the season opens with Lauren (Molly Bernard) shooting social videos of Kelsey as she enters the office and telling her, “You are a role model for every young girl with an English degree who wants to believe she didn’t throw away four years of her life. You are the youngest publisher in New York right now, and you are defining a cultural moment.” But Kelsey, who’s normally the type to shout about her successes, seems nervous. Like, really nervous. Gone is the girl who fought to launch her own imprint and treated winning manuscripts out from other editors like a sport. At first, it seems like she just needs to get her sea legs and adjust to her new title—but about halfway through the episode, we find out why Kelsey isn’t displaying her usual confidence.

Miriam Shor, Sutton Foster, and Hilary Duff on Younger

©TV Land/Courtesy Everett Collection / Everett Collection

When an author comes in to talk to Liza and Kelsey about a business book called The Glass Cliff, the issues stacked against Kelsey begin to crystalize. The author begins her pitch with, “Research shows when companies invite women into their C-suites, they experience a 27 percent decline in revenue. Why? Why are women underperforming? Or maybe we shouldn’t be blaming the women at all. Maybe they’re being set up to fail. Women inherit distressed companies far more often than their male counterparts. When an institution is in crisis, the next man up usually gets the axe, so why not make him a woman?”

This isn’t just a fictional premise. The term “glass cliff” was first coined in 2005, and according to research, is just as prevalent of a problem today. With Kelsey’s promotion coming on the heels of a new, risky stakeholder taking financial control of the company, her appointment feels like an opportunity to make her a scapegoat in case Empirical goes under. And it’s not lost on her.



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What to Wear to Any Job Interview: Tips from Women Execs


For those applying to jobs in fashion and retail, there’s more room to play with your personal style, said Lee Ann Sauter, the CEO and founder of Maris Collective, a worldwide chain of luxury boutiques.

“Competence always overshadows [your clothes], so it’s important to feel good in what you’re wearing,” Sauter said. “We actually appreciate opinions and people who have their own style.”

Sauter said her suggestion for a failproof interview outfit is a “pair of jeans, a great-fitting jacket, and an awesome bag. Dressing with confidence is really what’s most important.”

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Now’s not the time to break out that power suit, at the risk of appearing out of touch—fashion and retail companies tend to have a more relaxed dress code. “Skirt suits are nobody’s friend in entertainment and retail,” Sauter said.

Though jobs in the fashion space do allow for more leeway, don’t take that as carte blanche to wear whatever you want. “Don’t wear things that are distracting,” Sauter said. “[Once], somebody interviewed with me in a derby hat, and it was so distracting it was hard to focus on anything else.”

Interviewing for a Job in Law

woman wearing a yellow wrap coat
Kirstin Sinclair/Getty Images

“I’m a big believer that if you want to be hired by a big, corporate law firm, look to the partners [to see what they wear],” Linda Addison, immediate past managing partner of Norton Rose Fulbright U.S., advised. “Even if you’re interviewing for an associate position.”

According to Addison, even though many law firms now have a business-casual dress code, you’re not hired yet. Meaning, the expectation is that you should be respectful and dress the part. If in doubt, said Addison, wear either a navy or black suit or dress with a jacket.

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Still, some of the old-guard rules have relaxed slightly in recent years. “You don’t need to wear pantyhose anymore, and I even see women wearing peep-toe shoes,” she said, something that was verboten in recent years.

“It’s not just dressing conservatively; it’s about dressing appropriately,” Addison said. “Shoes that aren’t too worn or scuffed, clothes that are steamed and pressed, nails and hair that are appropriate.”

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On top of that, Addison said to remember that not all law jobs come with the same work culture—there’s a big difference within the industry as far as dress codes go. Jobs that focus on public interest, for instance, don’t require nearly as much formality as those in corporate law. “I have friends that work on appeals for death-penalty cases, and it’s much less important to dress a certain way,” she said.

Interview for a Job in Tech

woman wearing pink blouse with dark jeans and carrying a plaid bag
Edward Berthelot/Getty Images





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Meet the ‘Glamour’ 2019 College Women of the Year


It all started with an elephant toothpaste experiment. When Kavya Kopparapu was in fourth grade, a group of female scientists visited her classroom and combined a couple of chemicals that caused foam to shoot out of a beaker. And with that, she was hooked on science. Then, before she started high school, she attended a workshop on computer science—also led by women. “I remember sitting there and thinking, I’m really interested in biology and medicine, and computer science seems like a really cool way to make a positive impact in this field,” Kopparapu says. She taught herself how to code over the summer, spending hours in front of her computer. “My mom would say, ‘You know you have to eat,’” she recalls, “and I was like, ‘No, this is so interesting!’”

In 2017, Kopparapu found a way to marry her love of biology with computer science. While reading about Senator John McCain, who had been diagnosed with glioblastoma (an aggressive form of brain cancer), she was struck by the lack of progress toward a cure. “I read that glioblastoma rates of survival had not improved in the past 30 years,” she says. “I was like, We’re in such a technological era, where we know so much more about cancer than we did back then, so why aren’t we getting better at treating these patients? I just ended up in this wormhole of reading research papers, articles, talking to oncologists and pathologists.” She amassed a huge set of data to develop Gliovision, a medical platform that uses artificial intelligence, to determine the genetic and molecular signature of a brain tumor. She has a patent pending for the technology.

Because those female scientists inspired her so much, Kopparapu has made sure to do her part paying it forward. In high school she founded GirlsComputingLeague, a nonprofit that is working to help close the gender gap in computer science; the group is currently focused on teaching low-income students about AI and other high-technology concepts. Her charity work has given her a taste of what it means to be her own boss, a role she’d like to continue to have in the future. “It’s such an empowering feeling,” she says. “As an entrepreneur you get to drive change, not only in whatever product you make, but also in your work culture and the opportunities you give women.” It’s critical that women have these chances, she says: “As easily as artificial intelligence can be used for good, there have been a lot of examples where it can just amplify discrimination and implicit bias. But if you have a really diverse population working on these problems, then AI can be used for so much good.” Kopparapu is proof of just how much good one person who gets her shot can do.



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A Telegraph Article Called Nike's Plus-Size Mannequins 'a Lie.' Women Are Calling BS.


Earlier this week, The Telegraph published an article on Nike’s plus-size mannequins, calling them “obese,” “gargantuan,” and “a dangerous lie.” Not surprisingly, women on social media aren’t having it.

The world of sports—and workout gear, for that matter—hasn’t historically been the most size-inclusive place. Thankfully, that’s changing as major brands like Nike are stepping up to recognize the fact that women of all sizes can, and do, workout. Earlier this month Nike revamped it’s London flagship store, including plus-size models to show off the brand’s recently expanding range of sizes. (They also included para-sport models.)

It’s a powerful shift, but like any step towards progress, there are haters. The new Nike mannequin is “immense, gargantuan, vast. She heaves with fat,” writer Tanya Gold, said in her Telegraph article. “She is, in every measure, obese, and she is not readying herself for a run in her shiny Nike gear. She cannot run. She is, more likely, pre-diabetic and on her way to a hip replacement.”

This is of course bullshit. Weight is not a reliable indicator of health. Women of all weights, shapes and sizes run marathons, practice yoga, do CrossFit. They box, they swim, they play tennis, they bike, they climb mountains. Visit a gym, a spin class or the sidelines of a race and you’ll see all different kinds of bodies—all athletes, all deserving to be there.

The backlash to Gold’s article was swift, with women sharing photos and stories on social media of themselves working out, sporting plus-size gear, and delivering a resounding clapback to *The Telegraph*’s assertion that being plus-size and being an athlete are mutually exclusive. “Excluding diverse bodies is the opposite of progress,” model Iskra Lawrence wrote on Instagram. “Being skinny does not equal being healthy…I’m nearly 200lbs of ‘I will kick your a$$ in a sprint, boxing, jumping and lifting over half my body weight.'”

Here are some of the most powerful reactions to the fat-shaming article that prove women of all sizes can kick ass in the gym:

“Still want to tell me my body type can’t run?” one woman wrote.

“THIS is crazed bullying. It’s hate speech. We can’t allow people to discuss size like this. We wouldn’t allow it about race or religion in these huge publications,” actress and founder of i_weigh Jameela Jamil wrote on Instagram. “I’m disgusted and furious. Everyone at every size deserves to feel comfortable and good about themselves. And god dammit how can we shame people about their size and then try to take down mannequins for sportswear that include their size, inviting them at last into a part of the world they have been previously excluded from. So backwards, so grotesque and so disappointing.”

“As a non pre-diabetic size 18 woman who has always been big…I find that these types of rants are more of a reflection of how someone feels about themselves,” Katie Sturino, a plus-size blogger and founder of Megababe, posted on Instagram.

“As my friend and trainer @lubu22 says…you can still be thin and very unhealthy. Size does not fully determine health,” one woman wrote.

“That mannequin with the bigger body represents me, in fact my body is even bigger than that mannequin. People wonder why fate people don’t feel welcome in the fitness space – THIS IS WHY!,” one woman posted on Instagram. “I wish growing up I had seen mannequins like this and plus-size people represented in the fitness world. I find that seeing bodies like mine represented encourages me to move and take care of myself physically.”

“Tonight I swam 500m round a freezing cold reservoir and I loved it! The only thing that held me back was my wetsuit (the biggest women’s one I could get) garrotting my neck,” another woman posted. “I had the same experience trying to get clothes to fit when I was marathon training, and what makes it even more frustrating is putrid articles like this from the @telegraph (swipe right) today against @nike’s move to have realistic sized female mannequins to house their realistic sized gym wear. How are we expected to get fit and healthy if we can’t buy the clothes to bloody exercise in?”

“Why is it ok to publicly shame plus-size women who want to be more active and fit.Who want to work out, who want to wear a well known brand,” one woman wrote in an Instagram post.

“Plus girls work out every day,” another woman wrote.

“We’re told multiple types a day, every single day, that our bodies are only considered worthy if we shrink ourselves,” one woman posted. “Your body is worthy. At any size. And so is mine.”

“It is hard enough for women to find the courage and strength needed to start exercising and even harder to find clothes that fit us,” another woman wrote. “Nothing burns me up more than women tearing down other women, especially women who are trying to make a change in their lives…Your health and fitness is not dictated by your size (large or small) and it is also no one else’s business but yours.”



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