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3 Tips for Making Your First Visit to a Sex Shop Amazing


A sex shop can be a great way to check out a product before becoming very familiar with it, but going to one for the first time can also be intimidating. The entire premise behind this type of shopping is that you’ll go into a place of business and explain to a stranger who works there what would give you the best orgasm—definitely not a situation you encounter anywhere else in life. Can you imagine getting that personal with a J.Crew employee?

There are easy things you can do to guarantee a straightforward, educational, and totally not-daunting experience. Ryan DiMartino and Victor Tobar, employees at legendary sex-shop chain The Pleasure Chest, share a few easy tips to avoid looking like a deer in headlights.

Find the Right Kind of Shop

DiMartino explains you should look for a store that’s “education-centric,” a model becoming common around the country and a far cry from the seedy porn shops of yore. “An education-centric shop isn’t focused just on moving product but on making sure that we’re able to help you find the right thing and know how to use it properly,” they say. To find sex-positive shops in your area, do a little research: Read unbiased sex bloggers like The Redhead Bedhead and Elle Chase, for example, or even just look at a store’s website to make sure diverse body types and preferences are represented.

Ask Questions

You likely came into the store because you had a question, had your eye on a product, or were curious about what the shop is actually like—that’s great! So ask that question or find out what to do with that thing; lots of rookies don’t. “It’s clear it’s someone’s first time if they walk in and walk right out without asking for assistance,” says Tobar. You’re allowed to find an employee first thing and ask them for help—they’re probably more than happy to tell you which condoms are customer favorites or which vibrators they’d personally recommend.

Try Not to Make Everything a Joke

Another tell that you’re a sex-shop first-timer? Crackin’ wise. “There are times when folks come in and everything becomes a joke really quickly,” says DiMartino. “That’s a really common defense mechanism because as a society we really don’t have the tools to talk about sex in a healthy or desexualized way with strangers.” If you feel the need to make a joke, that’s fine, but remember that these employees have seen it all. And make sure you don’t yuck anyone’s yum by making a joke about a product another customer might be in there looking for: Just because you feel awkward doesn’t mean you should make someone else feel that way, too.

And if there aren’t sex shops in your area, don’t fret: Companies like The Pleasure Chest and Babeland have online shopping—and discreet shipping.

This article initially appeared in the January 2018 issue of Glamour.



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Matt Lauer Once Gave a Female Coworker a Sex Toy As a Gift, According to a New Bombshell Report


As the post-Weinstein reckoning rages on, longstanding Today show anchor Matt Lauer is the latest prominent man in media to be fired for sexual misconduct.

On Wednesday morning, NBC announced that Lauer had been terminated. In a memo to company employees, NBC News Chairman Andy Lack wrote that the decision stemmed from “a detailed complaint from a colleague about inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace by Matt Lauer” and revealed that though this was the first of its kind, “we were also presented with reason to believe this may not have been an isolated incident.”

Shortly after the news broke, Variety‘s New York Bureau Chief Ramin Setoodeh ‏tweeted that he and reporter Elizabeth Wagmeister had spent two months investigating “serious sexual harassment allegations” against the Today host, and NBC was aware of their work. Within hours of NBC’s announcement, Variety published their report and revealed numerous disturbing allegations of sexual harassment against Lauer.

Three women spoke to the publication—choosing to remain unnamed for fear of career retaliation—and their accounts were corroborated by friends and colleagues. One of the women said she once received a sex toy from the former anchor, who also detailed how he would want to use it on her in an “explicit note.” Another said Lauer once called her into his office, dropped his pants, and exposed himself to her—then chastised her when she refused to engage in a sexual act. And numerous Today employees said it was well-known that Lauer often made lewd comments to female colleagues, be it asking them who they’d slept with or telling them which fellow co-hosts he wanted to sleep with during rounds of “fuck, marry, kill.”

Per Variety, the complaint that resulted in Lauer’s termination stemmed from an incident that first occurred during the 2014 Sochi Olympics and continued for several months. On Monday, an NBC employee met with human resources about the continued encounters and the network quickly took action—but others say that past complaints “fell on deaf ears given the lucrative advertising surrounding Today.”

According to the bombshell report, Lauer’s office was fashioned with a button under his desk that “allowed him to lock his door from the inside without getting up.” This gave him the power to initiate sexual contact with female employees without fear of someone walking in, two women told Variety. And when Lauer was traveling on assignment, he would often fixate on young women on staff, often inviting them back to his hotel rooms.

“There were a lot of consensual relationships, but that’s still a problem because of the power he held,” a former producer told Variety. “He couldn’t sleep around town with celebrities or on the road with random people, because he’s Matt Lauer and he’s married. So he’d have to do it within his stable, where he exerted power, and he knew people wouldn’t ever complain.”

Lauer’s former Today co-hosts addressed the possibility of additional allegations coming forward as they announced the news Wednesday morning.

“As I’m sure you can imagine, we are devastated and we are still processing all of this,” Savannah Guthrie said to viewers at the top of the broadcast. “I will tell you right now we do not know more than what I just shared with you, but we will be covering this story as reporters, as journalists. I’m sure we will be learning more details in the hours and days to come. And we promise we will share that with you.”

Though Guthrie said she was “heartbroken” for her former colleague, she also made clear that she was similarly distraught for “the brave colleague who came forward to tell her story and any other women who have their own stories to tell.”

“This reckoning that so many organizations have been going through is important, it’s long overdue and it must result in workplaces where all women—all people—feel safe and respected,” Guthrie added.





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The Best 2017 Sex Toy Gift Ideas for the Women You Love


Buying the beloved women in your life under-the-radar beauty products or feminist accessories is great, but I believe in the power of—bear with me—giving the vagina owners in my life sex toys as holiday gifts.

Why not? As a sex-positive woman, I’m always looking for ways to destigmatize sex, and since I’ve been handing out vibrators as presents, I’ve found people close to me have felt more open to discussing, questioning, and being honest about pleasure (i.e., it’s a fun way to make awkward conversations easier). As far as who you feel comfortable giving a sex toy to, that’s your call, but I’m here to inspire you with some gift ideas I personally love. Below, 11 sex toys, vibrators, and other devices to buy for the women and nonbinary folks in your life. Truly, it’ll be a gift that keeps on giving.



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Emilia Clarke Is Tired of People Criticizing the Sex Scenes on 'Game of Thrones'


Game of Thrones is one of the most beloved shows on television, but there’s one element to it that’s quite polarizing: the sex scenes.

GoT is infamous for its gratuitous—and sometimes problematic—sex. It’s part of why so many people love the show…and why others hate it. Granted, much of the criticism concerning the nudity on GoT is valid (it has depicted sexual violence against women on several occasions) but not all of it. There’s a certain subset of fans who’re just annoyed by the amount of sex—consensual, good, healthy sex—that Game of Thrones shows. And that’s the chatter Emilia Clarke, who plays Daenerys Targaryen, has an issue with.

“I’m starting to get really annoyed about this stuff now because people say, ‘Oh, yeah, all the porn sites went down when Game of Thrones came back on.’ I’m like, The Handmaid’s Tale? I fucking love that show, and I cried when it ended because I couldn’t handle not seeing it. That is all sex and nudity. There are so many shows centered around this very true fact that people reproduce,” Clarke told Harper’s Bazaar for its December/January issue. “People fuck for pleasure—it’s part of life.”

Clarke expressed similar sentiments back in March when she wrote an essay for The Huffington Post. “If you’ve watched Game of Thrones then, spoiler, you will have seen me in the nude,” she wrote. “There are plenty of ways in which people want me to respond to questions about this fact. And plenty of reasons why I do not feel the need to justify myself.”

Retweet. Whether you like the sex scenes on Game of Thrones or not, it shouldn’t have to be Clarke’s job to defend them. (It’s funny how the male actors on the show are rarely ask about their nudity.) At the end of the day, she’s an actress doing her job—and if she’s comfortable, that’s all that matters.

Related Stories:

Emilia Clarke Just Dyed Her Hair Platinum, and Now She Looks Exactly Like Daenerys

Emilia Clarke Just Called This Game of Thrones Character ‘The One’ For Daenerys



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How to Make Sex Great If Your Partner's Penis Is Too Big


Dear Emily,

I recently started seeing a guy, and although his penis is magnificent and huge, it’s an even huger problem. I’m a petite woman, and so far sex with him has been very painful. I’ve managed to get through it multiple times, but I’m always incredibly sore afterward.

Is there anything I can do to lessen the pain, or is the fact his penis is too big something I’ll have to get used to?

Thanks,
Penelope, 22

Dear Penelope,

Sex is not something you want to just get through—you want to enjoy it as much as possible! Although men are usually worried about their penis being too small, more women actually inquire about how to enjoy a larger-than-average member. Thankfully, there are ways to maneuver around any penis size for a pleasurable experience, not a painful one.

Communicate

This guy doesn’t want to hurt you; he wants you to feel good during sex. Let him know that sex has been painful because he’s just so big. That way, you can work together on making things more enjoyable for the both of you (and it’ll stroke his ego a bit, too).

Prepare With Foreplay

If you already engage in foreplay before you have sex, double up on it. The more time that is spent on you and your pleasure, the more aroused you’ll be, and the more your body will be ready to brave his beautiful penis. Even if wetness isn’t your issue, adding extra lubrication to the action for more comfort never hurts.

Assume the Position

The name of your game here is shallow thrusting positions. These will prevent him from hitting your cervix, which may be what’s causing you pain. The closer your legs are to each other, the less likely he’ll go too deep, making the Coital Alignment Technique (or CAT) position an excellent choice if you’re keen on missionary. Woman-on-top is also a great position because it puts you in control of how far he enters you, how you move, and at what speed.

Sex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable for all people involved, so you should never have to brace yourself to just “take it.” Speak up, spend more time on foreplay, and work those positions. You’ll be ready to take on that magnificent member in no time.

xx,
Emily

More on Glamour.com:

This Company Is Making Instagram-Worthy Minimalist Sex Products

I Went on a Month-Long Quest to Achieve Multiple Orgasms

They’ve Arrived: Here Are the 2017 Glamour Sex Toy Awards



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'Fifty Shades Freed'-Inspired Sex Toys You Might Actually Want to Try


As if the trailer for ​Fifty Shades Freed wasn’t enough excitement to kickstart your week, sex toy company Lovehoney just announced its line of sex toys in collaboration with author E.L. James to accompany the film. Since many people were first introduced to pleasure products and kink through reading Fifty Shades of Grey, this product collaboration has consistently been a great way for women to feel comfortable experimenting with sex toys. (Not to mention a great chance to try out that Ana/Christian roleplay they’ve been thinking about.)

Even James herself is excited for fans to experiment with the latest toy line. “I am so happy that fans of Fifty Shades Freed will be able to enjoy the pleasure products designed by Lovehoney,” she says. “This collection embodies what Ana and Christian are all about in the third book—romance and intimacy. The products are breathtaking. All the items are inspired by and named after sensual moments that Ana and Christian share. They’re not just exciting, but they’re also elegant and sensuous.”

Ranging in price from $20 to $150, the line features 17 toys and accessories, from silk rope to vibrators and wands—all in understated burgundy and rose-gold tones. Below, we’ve picked out some of the most intriguing new toys from the collection:

Fifty Shades Freed I’ve Got You Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg, $99.99

This remote-controlled vibrating egg would be amazing for some clandestine couples’ play—just give your partner the remote and let them surprise you.

Fifty Shades Freed Awash with Sensation Mains Wand Vibrator LHUS, $149.99

This wand’s color is gorgeous (though would probably not be mistaken for a back massager).

Fifty Shades Freed All Sensation Nipple and Clitoral Chain, $29.99

Nipples are an underrated erogenous zone, and what better way to get into the nipple play action than with some pretty clamps? (P.S. We have a guide for how best to add clamps to your life here.)

Fifty Shades Freed Come to Bed Rechargeable Slimline Rabbit Vibrator, $109.99

This rabbit looks turbo-charged, and the combination of g-spot and clitoral stimulation is great for people who need both).

PHOTO: Lovehoney

Fifty Shades Freed I Want You. Now. Steel Love Ring, $49.99

This ring, which fits over a penis, is not only extremely pretty but apparently can “super-size stimulation, with a firm grip that may aid strength and duration,” according to Lovehoney. But it’s OK if you want it just because it’s pretty, too.

fiftyshadespleasureset_lovehoney.jpg

PHOTO: Lovehoney

Fifty Shades Freed Pleasure Overload 10 Days of Play Gift Set, $99.99

Or you could splurge on this pack that has bondage gear like a feather tickler and leather whip, plus toys like an anal plug and a vibrating penis ring, and a lot of other goodies. Why decide on just one when you can be greedy about it?

You can check out the full collection here to help you get ready for Fifty Shades Freed, which hits theaters on February 9.

Watch the trailer below (but be warned, it’s most definitely NSF):

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More:

The Full ‘Fifty Shades’ Freed Trailer Is the Climax You’ve Been Waiting For

The Surprisingly Feminist “Fifty Shades Darker’ Scene We Should All Be Discussing

I Masturbated With a Crystal Dildo and Turned Into a Believer



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