The season of The Bachelor starring Pete Weber (aka Pilot Pete) kicked off last night, January 6, but for some reason, all I can think about is how Hannah Brown had to give back that gorgeous oval-cut engagement ring last year. I don’t know about you, but nothing cures the sting of breaking up with your guitar-wielding fiancé quite like $80,000 worth of platinum and diamonds.
According to Chris Harrison, if a Bachelor couple makes it only a few months before breaking up, the custom-made rings—often valued around $100,000—go back to their creator, the iconic celebrity jewelry designer Neil Lane.
With a price tag like that, it’s no wonder Bachelor Nation is so obsessed with these winning rocks. Even Lane himself has a favorite. “I will admit that the pear-shaped ring Bryan Abasolo gave to Rachel Lindsay holds a special place in my heart,” Lane tells Glamour. “My mother had a similar diamond that I grew up admiring, and it’s inspired a number of my pear-shaped designs in both my Couture collection and my collection at Kay Jewelers.”
Wait, so it is possible to find a ring that matches your Bachelorette-inspired Pinterest board without all those zeroes on the tag? Yup! And Lane has some thoughts on which specific rings you should look for heading into 2020 (even if you’re just planning a dream engagement in your head).
“It’s only fitting that ‘modern’ designs are one of the biggest trends of 2020,” Lane says. “They blend the old and the new, glamour and simplicity. Some of the most popular styles combine straight lines, contrasting stones, and unconventional details, adding an unconventional twist to an otherwise classic look.”
So, if you’re looking for a ring that screams, “Will you accept this rose?” here are 13 options based on Bachelor Nation favorites that won’t cost you $100,000. The best part: You don’t have to actually date more than one person at a time or sign any contracts to get them.
Becca Kufrin and Garrett Yrigoyen
Becca’s “jaw hit the sand” when she spotted these tri-oval diamonds encased in gold.
JoJo’s first engagement ring from Jordan Rogers is probably the sparkliest in Bachelor history. The oval-cut stone in a four-prong setting is just the start. (The band is also set with a few hundred more diamonds.)
“We both want kids someday,” I said. “The only difference is, if I don’t freeze my eggs now, I might never be able to have them. But the option for you to have kids is always on the table, no matter how much money you do or don’t have in the bank. With that in mind, what do you think about us splitting the cost of egg freezing?”
It took every ounce of willpower in me to ask my boyfriend of almost two years if he would be open to splitting the cost of harvesting and freezing my eggs. Not so much because I was afraid of his reaction—though asking the man you are not legally bound to in any way to invest in your hypothetical future children is scary—but because I felt a deep sense of shame that I couldn’t pay for it myself.
The fact that egg freezing has me facing bankruptcy is, frankly, ridiculous. I’m a 32-year-old writer and small business owner who has worked very hard to be debt-free. I’ve saved a modest sum of money over the past decade and placed it into a savings account, which I’ve now labeled “Nest Egg vs. Egg Freezing.” The balance is a few thousand dollars less than the cost of the recommended rounds of egg harvesting, freezing, and storage for women over 27. In America, the average cost for this is $26,000—not including the cost of IVF when you’re actually ready to use your frozen eggs.
If I use my savings to harvest and freeze my eggs, I could lose everything I’ve spent a decade building: my financial freedom, my credit, my ability to afford my current modest lifestyle. But if I don’t spend my life savings on freezing my eggs, there’s a very real chance that I’ll never get to realize my dream of becoming a mom. My own mom was diagnosed with endometriosis in her 20s, and conceiving me, her only child, was extremely difficult. While I haven’t officially been diagnosed with the same condition, I did inherit many of the same symptoms and have been warned by doctors that pregnancy may be more difficult for me than for most.
My clock, in other words, is never far from my mind. But the simple truth is, I’m not ready to have kids yet. There are circumstances in my life that are too unstable and uncertain for me to be comfortable bringing a child into the equation. Deciding when to start a family is an incredibly personal decision. For me, trying to get pregnant right now feels selfish and irresponsible. Hence my desire to freeze my eggs to ensure a greater chance at a healthy pregnancy later, when I am ready.
It took some soul-searching to figure out why asking for financial help from my boyfriend made me feel such a sense of shame. After all, married women split the cost of egg freezing with their partners, right? We’re used to having conversations with our partners about preventing pregnancy, so why was it so hard for me to talk about planning for one?
The Big Question
Preparing for this conversation, I talked to my female friends about the dilemma facing so many of us as we enter our 30s; we’re not ready to have kids, but we can’t afford to freeze our eggs by ourselves. But when I broached the subject of the costs of fertility planning with my unmarried male friends, none of them had a clue what I was talking about. If anything (and I mean anything), they spoke about saving up to provide for a family down the road. But having a conversation with their current partners about those costs wasn’t even on their radar.
Meghan Markle‘s engagement ring isn’t the only thing in her life that’s recently been redesigned. A new report released by the royal family is giving us all some new details about the renovations to her and Prince Harry‘s new house.
The Sovereign Grant Report is basically a breakdown of spending by the royal family that comes from public funds. (The family, of course, also has enormous personal wealth that is not funded by the taxpayers, and Markle had amassed her own money before marrying Harry last year.)
The report shows that the renovations to Frogmore Cottage in Windsor, a gift to the Sussexes from Queen Elizabeth II, cost over $3 million. (That’s in U.S. dollars—the renovations are about 2.4 million pounds.) Obviously, that’s a lot of money and more than most of us could ever imagine spending on…anything. But the home was built all the way back in 1801 and had previously been broken down into multiple apartments, necessitating a conversion back into a single home. “A very large proportion of the ceiling beams and floor joists were defective and had to be replaced,” a source told People. Updates were also necessary for the heating, water, and electrical systems to get them up to modern standards.
And some of these renovations to the historic structure were going to be necessary, even if Markle, Harry, and baby Archie weren’t calling it home. “The property had not been the subject of work for some years and had already been earmarked for renovation in line with our responsibility to maintain the condition of the occupied Royal Palaces Estate,” Sir Michael Stevens, Keeper of the Privy Purse, told reporters at Buckingham Palace.
GOR/Getty Images
Per People, British taxpayer money funded the structural renovations of the home including the exterior doors, windows, and walls and upgrading some of the other buildings on the property. But “anything moveable,” for example, was paid for personally by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. “All fixtures and fittings were paid for by their Royal Highnesses,” a royal source told the magazine. “Curtains, furnishings—all that would be paid separately, paid privately.”
“If a member of the royal family says, ‘We want a better kitchen than you’re prepared to provide with public money,’ then that would fall to them privately and they would have to meet the cost,” the source continues. “If they want that higher specification, they have to pay the extra.” Apparently those rumors of a yoga studio with a “floating” floor were simply that, rumors, as that luxe feature is not mentioned in the report.
A consultation will also help you determine what material you want (most common are silk and faux mink; silk is bit more shiny and pops more, whereas mink is most fluttery and natural), length, curl type (J is the slightest curve, but ends up looking longer, and C and D are the most flipped up), and how many lashes should be applied. A great lash artist will also mix lengths to give lashes a naturally wispy vibe, Shirai says. “At Blinkbar we use a minimum of four different lengths for every style we offer.”
Stay away from cluster lashes
If your lashes are sparse, some salons may suggest 3D lashes, or clusters, which are three hairs glued together to give your eyes a more voluminous look. Avoid them—they’ll only weigh down your lashes and lead to breakage. “You should always have one extension applied to one natural lash, there should be no visible glue, and the extensions should not be touching your lid in any way,” Shirai says. Basically, if they look like falsies, they’ll be way too heavy.
They WILL feel weird at first
It takes a day or two to get used to the feeling of wearing extensions, but I found them to be much more comfortable than strip lashes. They’ll also mess with the way you normally sleep (unless you’re already a back sleeper). “If you sleep on your side and stomach you’re going to crush them and they won’t last as long,” Shin says. “Try using a travel pillow or something that helps to elevate and keep you on your back.”
You might need to adjust your skin care routine…
The general rule of thumb is to avoid anything too oily. I love nothing more than rich face oils, but had to give them up while I had extensions. And if you’re going to apply eye cream, Shin recommends using it in the morning instead of at night so it doesn’t travel into your lashes (skip greasy ones that are packed with mineral oil, Shirai says). Stick to non-oily makeup removers as well: Shin recommends using micellar water with a cotton swab to remove makeup around your eyes (cotton pad fibers will stick to your lashes), whereas Shirai prefers pre-soaked, oil-free makeup removing pads.
…And the way you do your makeup
While there are some “extension-safe mascaras” out there, Shin recommends avoiding mascara completely. You just splurged on lashes—don’t jeopardize them! Also stay away from waterproof eye makeup—the removal will take a toll on your eyes and can soften the glue. Shin also recommends avoiding loose powder or glittery eye shadows, which can build up on the roots of your lashes, eventually weakening them and leading to breakage. And if you’re devoted to liner (though you may find you no longer want it), stick to gel and liquid formulas that won’t tug at your roots.
You’ll have to re-learn how to wash your face
There is nothing as jarring as leaning into a sink, washing your face, and accidentally bumping your extensions. It feels incredibly strange and I’ve lost more than a few lashes this way (RIP lashes!). Here’s the technique that worked for me: Get as low as possible to the sink—I basically stick my head into the bowl—and gently splash water on the bottom of your face and forehead. Then, carefully suds up the lower half of your face and forehead, rinsing it clean by lightly dabbing and doing a light, outward pulling motion. After that, I use my ring fingers to wet around my eyes with any leftover cleanser, following with water. No scrubbing.
And give your eyes extra attention
This is gross, but because you’re not washing your eye area as thoroughly as usual, you can and will get residue buildup, particularly at the lash line. “Even if you don’t put eye makeup on, there’s still outside impurities and dust [that can get trapped], ” Shin says. “I mix distilled water with a little bit of tear-free baby shampoo and use the mixture to thoroughly clean my top lids and the bottom of my eyes.”
Like your hair, lashes need to be brushed
My lashes would get a little wacky when I woke up or after showering. That’s why Shin ends every appointment by handing you a soft pink spoolie and demonstrating how to comb your lashes daily. Here’s how she does it: Looking down, support underneath your lashes with your pointer finger. Then, gently twirl the spoolie on the top side of your lashes (the opposite of how you’d apply mascara; brushing that way will tug at the hair). “It takes five seconds out of your day and it goes a long way,” Shin says.
Never—ever!—pick at them
The only way to remove eyelashes is with a pro—seriously. You’ll end up tearing out or breaking your lashes if you try it yourself, and it’s not worth it. “That doesn’t mean you have to remove them, you can also just wear them until they all cycle off,” Shirai says. Typically they last around three to four weeks, but don’t be surprised if you find yourself back for refills before then. I told you, they’re addicting.
For months, I lusted after the Marais USA jardin heel in cherry. The vintage-inspired suede sandals have the perfect pop of color that would zhuzh up an outfit. There was just one catch: the not-so-casual price of $310. But after about six months of wrestling with whether I should treat myself, I received an unexpected email, with the subject line in attention-getting all caps: “BUY NOW, PAY LATER.” The text was short and sweet: “Introducing Afterpay. Pay in four easy installments at no extra cost, simply select Afterpay at checkout.” Suddenly my dream shoes only cost an ever-so-tempting $77.50, in four interest-free payments.
I’d vaguely heard of Afterpay. Urban Outfitters had suggested it as an option at checkout when I was buying SZA’s “Ctrl” on vinyl, and I’d seen Kylie Cosmetics tweeting about it. Soon I was noticing it on other sites I browse, like Re/Done, Everlane, Cynthia Rowley, Free People—the list goes on.
You might also recognize the buy-now-pay-later idea by another name: layaway. Layaway programs actually became common in the 1930s, then faded away with the rise of credit cards, even though big chain stores like Sears or T.J. Maxx still offer installment payment plans. But with many of these services, a store reserved the goods for you; once the bill was paid you could finally take your purchase home.
Afterpay has given this old-school system a shiny, sexy, millennial rebrand with instant-gratification results. You pay for your purchases over four equal installments due every two weeks, and you get your items immediately. (The fine print: To be eligible for Afterpay, you have to be at least 18 years old, and own a debit or credit card. According to the company, first-time customers are typically given a $500 spending limit, and you can’t spend more than $1,500 through the service). While the payments are interest free, if you miss one installment, you’re charged $8. Don’t pony up by the following week, they tack on another $8, etc.
There’s a bevy of installment plans out there now, including QuadPay, Affirm, Uplift, and Klarna, but Afterpay is quickly becoming the most popular. The company says that they have more than 1,000 American retail partners and approximately 500,000 U.S. customers—mostly women—who have used the service. Those numbers are likely to climb: In Australia, where the company launched just four years ago, more than 25 percent of all online fashion and beauty purchases are now processed with Afterpay, according to Nick Molnar, Afterpay’s CEO and co-founder. Molnar told Glamour that the company decided to expand into the U.S. because they saw similar potential in the States and that, as a millennial himself, he knew people were searching for new payment options—without credit cards. “We need mechanisms [like Afterpay] to budget using our own money and to take control of our financial situation,” he says.
Millennials have already been trying to take control of their finances. Only one out of three of them has a credit card, and they use debit cards for purchases more than other forms of payment. Experts say this could be a reaction to the 2008 recession—this age group is wary about getting in financial trouble—and overwhelming student loans. “There’s an overall shift in millennials’ attitudes toward credit cards because of student debt [which 41 percent of them carry],” says Rebecca Liebman, co-founder and CEO of LearnLux, a digital platform which helps young adults make better financial decisions. “A lot of people don’t want to get into even more debt, and that’s exactly what they associate credit cards with.”
Several young women told Glamour they are suspicious of using credit cards, and many said they’d never had one. “I only use my debit card,” says Naila, a 21-year-old student in Lincoln, Nebraska. “I just don’t trust myself to have a credit card.” Instead of charging her purchases and then paying them off over time on credit with interest, Naila has used Afterpay to buy a light red Fjällräven backpack ($80 over four payments of $20), and new snakeskin mules from Anthropologie ($108, paid in four installments of $27).
Most of the women I spoke to didn’t go out seeking a payment plan. They were just aimlessly online shopping when they stumbled upon this new option they’d never heard of before. And for many, in that instant the clothes and products that seemed out of reach suddenly felt affordable. Christina, a 29-year-old mom of two and aspiring beauty blogger living in New York, first learned about the service from Kylie Jenner. “I remember when she announced on social that Kylie Cosmetics would have Afterpay I was so excited because I was like, ‘Wow, Kylie’s products are so expensive!’ And I’m like, I want a palette but I don’t feel like dropping $60 on something I never use,” she says. But Afterpay gave her a way—and since then she’s used it to score a Jaclyn Hill kit from Morphe and other luxe lipsticks.
That’s why payment models are appealing to stores, too. “For a lot of our customers, spending $300 on a pair of shoes is a splurge,” says Haley Boyd, the founder of Marais USA shoes. Afterpay, she says, “really eases their purchasing power.” Many retailers report a significant uptick in orders with Afterpay, though Boyd says she has yet to see a significant boost.
Alejandra, 23, a student in Salem, Oregon, admits she’s “super bad” with credit cards. “I would just rack up purchases, then max out [my card], and at the end of the day I got myself into a hole.” But when Revolve introduced Afterpay, Alejandra still signed up, bought a leopard print jacket, and has been using the service ever since. In two months she’s spent about $700 on things like, “an Urban Outfitters record player for my boyfriend, along with some records, and a few NASA t-shirts, then Gisou hair oil for myself,” she says.
While all of the women I spoke with are happy with their new loot, they realize that that without Afterpay, they probably wouldn’t have been able to afford their purchases. Simone, an avid Australian Afterpay user since 2016—who provides it as an option for her own clothing company, Simone Tylee, and attributes a third of her sales to the service—acknowledges that having the option to pay in installments has made her hit “buy now” on some things she wouldn’t normally. “I’ve used Afterpay for $2,610 worth of purchases. But if I hadn’t looked that up, I probably would’ve guessed I’d spent only $1,000,” she says. “In most of those cases I would’ve been more conscious about my choices if it weren’t for Afterpay. As a self-employed adult paying for a car loan, rent, fuel, groceries, and other bills each week, I don’t believe I would’ve been able to afford these things upfront.”
Hefzi, 20, a lunch supervisor at an Elton, Illinois, elementary school says using Afterpay to shop, “makes me feel a bit less guilty [about spending], because I’m not paying in full [right away],” she says. This is something Terrence Shulman, the founder of The Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft, Spending and Hoarding, has seen with shoppers (even those who don’t have addictive spending habits). “Gimmicks like Afterpay make you think, ‘Ok, I’m not just whipping out a credit card and paying for this all at once.’ The psychology is similar to things like flash sales or offers to make a purchase without interest for a year,” he says. “But that still doesn’t mean you can actually afford it. You feel like you’re getting a deal and that’s very seductive—but it doesn’t mean you’re not spending above your means.”
While financial experts I spoke to said that Afterpay could be better than a credit card because there’s no interest, they were all very wary of the service. For one, those late fees still add up. Afterpay made $28.4 million, or one-quarter of their overall earnings, off those fees last year. And in Australia, users of buy-now-pay-later companies owe more than a whopping $900 million. The Australian Securities & Investments Commission also found that, “one in six buy now pay later users (16 percent) believed they had experienced at least one type of negative impact due to a buy now pay later arrangement. This included becoming overdrawn, delaying bill payments, and borrowing additional money from family, friends or another loan provider.” (Afterpay is too new the U.S. to have similar data here.)
But most of all, financial experts worry that Afterpay and its cousins only teach us to live outside our means. “When it comes to discretionary spending on things like makeup, clothes, jewelry and other non-essentials, I don’t recommend using any form of payment plan. Even a credit card,” says Stefanie O’Connell, a millennial personal finance author. “Afterpay is disturbing because it gets you into the habit of spending money you don’t have. There’s nothing wrong with the occasional luxury splurge, but if you can’t afford it—meaning you can’t afford to fund the entire purchase when you make it—it’s not worth the tradeoff of putting yourself in a position where you might have to incur additional debt or leave yourself vulnerable if an unexpected expense or emergency arises.” We need to get real about our spending: If there’s not enough in your account for the cult classic Mansur Gavriel bucket bag, empty your cart, log off the Afterpay app, and step away from the computer—no matter how alluring those four small payments look. Your savings, and your future self, will thank you.
I haven’t taken the plunge and purchased the Marais heels. Not just because it’s winter here in New York, but because I know that my bank statement at the end of says I can’t afford them. But I did recently get a call from my 20-year-old little sister who was giddy to tell me that she finally bought the out-of-her-price-range $150 KKW Beauty Glam Bible Bundle—thanks to Afterpay. And another user is born.
Since I’m a dress addict living in a state with seasons, black tights are my lifeline in the winter months, allowing me to wear my beloved limb-baring pieces year-round. I was never precious about where I got my tights. (To me, they are a boring means to an end—not so much a part of my look, more like a necessary layer that didn’t command any attention.) Plus, finding the best black tights in the market didn’t feel like a totally urgent task. I just needed any ones that, ideally, didn’t rip on the first wear.
In fact, I had the one pair that I’d owned for an indefinite amount of time, from a brand I’d definitely forgotten, that I always reached for—until one faithful morning I noticed a thigh-length run on one leg. For some reason, that got to me: I was running late, I was already half dressed, and I couldn’t bear the thought of wearing…pants. So I did what anyone on a time crunch in need of a quick fix to a problem would: I went to the nearest pharmacy chain.
Anyone who’s been to a local drugstore has noticed the miscellaneous undergarments section, where you can pick up stockings and undershirts before grabbing some hair ties and shampoo. I’d walked past it a million times at my neighborhood Walgreens—and this time the $5.99 opaque tights on the display called my name.
I bought the first and only pair I saw in my size: West Loop Sheer-to-Waist Opaque Tights. I thought of it as a band-aid solution to my timely problem—little did I know, the actual best black tights I’d ever own had been sitting next to the half-off scrunchies this entire time.
PHOTO: Walgreens
West Loop Sheer-to-Waist Opaque Tights, $5.99, Walgreens
There weren’t any fireworks or foot pops. It was only when I’d worn them for a week straight that I realized what an incredible discovery I’d made. No joke, these tights stood up against back-to-back wears without tearing, losing shape, or fading. (Laundry is expensive, OK?) The waistband doesn’t pinch my stomach like the so-called control-top pairs I’d tried before, and they sit at my natural waist, so I don’t have to pull them up over my stomach to my rib cage for a smooth line. Also, they’re $5.99—at my usual go-to stores, tights start at $19.50 (J.Crew) and can go all the way up to $285 (Wolford).
But the best part of this whole saga was realizing that a solution to my fashion #problems was right around the corner. Rip my tights on a sharp desk corner at work? I can hop over to the nearest drugstore. Scratched by the dog I couldn’t resist petting? There’s a replacement pair one block away, all for less than a breakfast sandwich. When I leave New York City to visit family in other states over the holidays, I don’t have to worry about what happens if I forget to pack tights—there are Walgreens, CVS, Rite Aids everywhere.
When I reach the point in my life when I want to spend money on name-brand tights, I’ll consider setting change aside for an extra-special pair with a silk tag. For that easy, basic pair I’ll wear every winter until then, these will do the trick.
West Loop Sheer-to-Waist Opaque Tights, $5.99, Walgreens
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