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'The Bachelorette' Season 14 Episode 5 Recap: These Guys Are All the Worst


Last week, I complained that Garrett and Lincoln’s pasts have cast a shadow of doubt on all the men this season of The Bachelorette. That feeling was completely verified tonight by Chris, a sweaty pocket square come to life.

As he threw tantrum after tantrum, both in front of Becca and behind her back, I wondered if any of these guys are worthy partners. Sure, some have bigger, scarier red flags than the others; but the few who do seem somewhat decent, like John or Blake, don’t get enough screen time to actually confirm whether they are good people or not. Only one stood out to me this week—Wills—but we’ll get to that. First, let’s break down what happened.

We’re in Las Vegas, and the guys have packed their best scoop-neck T-shirts for the occasion. Colton gets the first solo date of the week, and it’s a doozy: He meets Becca at the Virgin River for a “safari” which is really just riding camels in the desert while two less-than-enthused dusty dudes guide the animals. Colton seems…thrilled. This, uh, romantic journey leads them to a random hot tub the producers have lugged out into the middle of the camel pen.

Question: What do the camel guys do while these two dodos drink Chardonnay and make out in a hot tub? Sit in an air-conditioned van nearby? Feed the camels? Watch? TBH, I’m more invested in their afternoon than Becca and Colton’s conversation. I just don’t trust him after the whole Tia drama!

It must have gone well, though, because Becca wears her best sequined dress—and she has a lot of sequined dresses—to dinner that night.

“We were in the middle of the desert in a hot tub.” – Becca. “I know.” – Colton. RIVETING.

Colton shares his big sob story: He’s only said “I love you” once before, to a girlfriend who didn’t say it back and then broke up with him. That’s it? Seems contrived to me, but Becca gives him a rose.

The next day is a group date with Wills, Garrett, Blake, John, Connor, Leo, Lincoln, Jason, and Chris. The fellas wonder where they’re headed, and Garrett hopes there’s some “banana hammock” action involved, to which I say: Oh hell no. Leave Magic Mike Live to the professionals, please.

Instead, the date is at the home of Mr. Vegas himself: Wayne Newton. But as he gave everyone a tour of his home, I realized I don’t know that much about Newton. So, I Googled for more. I wish I hadn’t because some of the first stories that came up were this and this. Sigh.

Anyway, the purpose of this date: The guys have to write a song for Becca. Bachelorette producers, we’ve already done this date this season! With Chris and Richard Marx! How could you forget?

Side note: The most exciting part about the group date is Wills’ floral two-piece set.

“Hey, hey, hey. I see you’ve found my favorite rock.” – Wayne Newton bonding with Chris

PHOTO: Paul Hebert

This is Wayne Newton’s favorite rock.

Chris is feeling confident because he’s already done this before. He’s so confident, in fact, that he jumps right into singing. Kudos to the editors for juxtaposing that with peacocks squawking in response. It doesn’t bode well for the big twist: The guys must perform their songs in front of a live audience that night.

When the performances roll around, even adorable matching tuxedos can’t help these dudes from butchering their songs. Not a one had talent, though I am impressed that they were all game to power through the humiliation. Chris does the best crowd work, mostly by insulting Arie.

“That was brutal. It was awful!” Jason perfectly sums up this date.

After, they get the entire T-Mobile Arena to themselves, which is both excessive and kinda awesome. Chris is unbothered that the other guys are getting alone time with Becca because he thinks his performance has made him “one of the top front runners,” apparently.

He should be a little bothered, though, because the other guys are making more progress. Especially Blake, who tells Becca that he’s falling in love with her. She responds by saying, “I like hearing that” and giving him the date rose—before she’s even talked to Chris. This gesture leaves Chris “shook.” So shook, that he spends the rest of the night whining about it and making empty threats that he’s going to pack his bags and leave. Dude, she’s good without you. Just go.

The next morning, we learn that Connor looks cute in glasses. Oh, and Jordan and David are going on the dreaded two-on-one date.

They get in a Jeep and off-road to their destination: a bed in the middle of “the Valley of Fire” with a VERY LARGE CRYSTAL next to the date rose. I don’t think there are enough large healing crystals in the world to smooth over David and Jordan’s hatred of each other. This suspicion is immediately proven by David, who wastes no time at all throwing Jordan under the bus to Becca.

Naturally, Becca doesn’t like to hear that Jordan might be “settling” for her, so she confronts him about it right away. Jordan denies all of it, of course, and stomps over to David to call him out.

“Love is the greatest power on Earth. Being me is my greatest power, do you get that? Being you isn’t your greatest power.” – Jordan

Both huff and puff until Becca tells them they’re acting like sixth graders, which is an insult to sixth graders. This still doesn’t stop David and Jordan from bickering so Becca finally calls it: David should go home. She’s going to continue the date with Jordan, but she’s not ready to give him a rose quite yet.

With that, Becca and Jordan drive away in the Jeep. David’s stuck out in the desert alone with no ride home, and I’m very concerned that a man who dresses in a chicken suit has the necessary survival skills to make it out of there alive with just a half-drunken bottle of champagne for sustenance.

Moving on: For their evening date Becca hopes she and Jordan can reach a deeper level of their relationship, but he spends most of it talking about himself. When he leans in for a kiss, Becca laughs it off. And shocker: She decides to send Jordan home too. She watches a romantic firework display, alone, as Jordan ponders why she dumped him. The men cheer as his bags get taken away.

The next night, at the cocktail party, Becca grabs Chris first to talk. She’s confused because he made literally no effort to see her during the group date, and she heard that he wants to leave. He doesn’t do himself any favors when they sit down and he “jokes” that she owes him, like, 50,000 kisses. When she confronts him, he gives bullshit excuses so stupid Becca eventually leaves because the conversation is going nowhere.

Note: Can we talk about how good Wills’ plaid suit is? He’s got the best fashion and nobody’s acknowledging it, so here I am acknowledging it.

After venting and crying to Colton and Garrett, Chris decides he’s not ready to give up—oh, so now you’re a man of action—and interrupts Wills’ conversation with Becca. He asks to steal her away, but Becca tells him no because she and Wills just sat down. Chris begs again. So, Wills—very calmly and sexily, I will add—tells Chris he’ll give him two minutes, but then he’s coming right back. Will walks away in his beautiful suit, waits the agreed upon two minutes, and then comes back. Chris whines and pleads, but Wills stands his ground. Why is Chris’ time any more important than his? If I were Becca, I’d be 100% team Wills. Chris, you are:

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Chris acts soooo put upon that Wills won’t give him five more minutes, but, Chris, that’s not the terms you agreed to! Eventually, Becca tells Chris that if he leaves she’ll find him later. He goes away and complains to everyone, but they all take Wills’ side. When Wills returns, he gives Chris a read: “I didn’t have to get up at all.” Smooth.

Becca finally comes back and takes Chris away—his third time with her tonight—so he can continue to grovel and say bullshit. As my husband says, “If you have to do this much explaining, you’re not in the right.”

Still, somehow, fucking Chris gets a rose. HOW. WHY. WHAT. Becca, I demand answers! The other roses go to: Garrett, Jason, Wills, Lincoln, Leo, and Connor (related: why is his shirt so deeply unbuttoned?).

That means sweet, sweet John is going home. I’ll miss you, John! Venmo me!

Next week: “She’s in a such a bad head state right now!” “Stop trying to snake your way out of this!”



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'The Bachelorette' Season 14 Episode 4 Recap: The Problem With This Season


Unless you’re actually invested in this David vs. Jordan drama, the real Bachelor Nation developments are currently happening offscreen: Ashley and Jared are actually engaged, Twitter is locked in a battle over who this season’s contestants look like, and Raven blocked Bekah on Twitter. And then you have the Garrett and Lincoln controversies—about a problematic social media history and an assault conviction, respectively.

These two have certainly cast a shadow over the season—you’re not going to root for the guy who was found guilty of indecent assault and battery for groping and assaulting a woman—and it calls into question the past of all the men. But that’s a larger, on-going story. Tonight, my role is to simply recap, for better or worse, what happened in this episode. So, let’s go.

We open with the cocktail party from last week. To recap, Clay had to leave because of an injury, David is still in the hospital after he fell from the top of a bunk bed, and Jordan’s being Jordan.

Blake takes Becca aside and leads her to the guys’ dark bedroom, where they sit under what I hope is not the same bed David fell off of. What do we think that room smells like? A potent mixture of farts, sweaty socks, and Jean Blanc’s cologne collection? So romantic. Instead of backing out of the room slowly, like I would do, Becca stays and even talks potential baby names—Stevie or Charlie for a girl—with Blake.

Downstairs, the guys discuss David’s injury. They’re all bummed he’s hurt—well, everyone except Jordan, who is glad to have a break from David. Apparently people who go against Jordan just get hurt sometimes, so that’s a fun fact. Then, as if his ego wasn’t already riding an all-time high, Becca gifts Jordan with a pair of golden underwear that she says made her think of him.

“I can’t wait to brush my teeth in these,” – Jordan, about his “golden boy” underpants

Right on cue, David walks through the door. He’s got a broken nose and a black eye, but he’s here to see Becca. Jordan, of course, reacts to this by insulting David’s busted-up face with lines like, “He probably thought he could save some face but little does he know he has no face to save.” The joke’s on Jordan, though, because Becca gives David a rose so he can skip the rose ceremony and catch up on sleep.

“All I know is I’m Captain Underpants and…uh, that’s all I got. That’s all I got.” – Great comeback, Jordan

At the rose ceremony, Nick is inexplicably in a tracksuit and still gets a rose. So do Jason, Wills, Christon, Lincoln, Blake, Garrett, Leo, John, Connor, Jordan, and Jean Blanc. That’s goodbye to Ryan and Mike. They didn’t get much screen time, but I will miss seeing Mike’s man bun around the mansion.

After the guys say their goodbyes, Becca tells the remaining crew they’ll be heading to Park City, Utah. Once there, Garrett gets the first one-on-done—whoops, that was a slip, one-on-one—date. One thing they don’t talk about: his views on immigration, gun control, and feminism. Nope, instead, they walk around shopping, taking selfies, and talking about some town in Minnesota that looks like Park City.

Speaking of guys who are canceled, Lincoln reveals to the others that he really, truly thinks the world is flat.

Back to Becca and Garrett’s date: They’re going bobsledding and meet with two badass Olympians, Valerie Fleming and Shauna Rohbock, to learn the ropes. Valerie and Shauna share a beautiful story about how they were teammates, which then became a friendship, which then became a romance. Now, they’re in love, married, and have two children together. It’s such a lovely moment, tampered by the fact that I simply cannot buy Garrett as a romantic interest when his social media history is looming over everything.

Later, over dinner, Becca asks Garrett about his past relationships, and he reveals that he got divorced after two months of marriage. Garrett claims his ex-wife was emotionally abusive and drove a wedge between him and his family and friends. It’s been two years since the divorce, and now he wants a partner who is 50/50. I don’t know that I trust that he really does—again, social media—but Becca gives him a rose. They close out the night with our first concert of the season: Granger Smith.

The next day, Jordan, Chris, Blake, Nick, John, Lincoln, Leo, David, Connor, Christon, Jason, Colton, and Jean Blanc are on a group date. The theme? “Lumberjacking.” According to Becca, she grew up watching it at the state fair and has had a thing for sexy lumberjacks ever since. I appreciate The Bachelorette producers planning an entire date around Becca’s dream role play scenario, so I’m here for this.

The guys are game for the challenge, though some—cough, Colton, cough—are extra petty about teasing the guys who “look like they’ve never picked up an axe in their life.” Is that really a thing? Are people just running around picking up axes all the time? Anyway, the dudes get to show off by splitting logs of wood, lifting large logs, and tossing axes at a target. The day closes with an obstacle course, during which we learn that Blake lives in the woods and eats bug? Would like to learn more about that, please.

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That night, at the after party, Jordan shows off the golden underpants that Becca got him. Colton feels this is disrespectful, so he pulls Jordan aside to fight about it. But that’s not the most dramatic moment of the night. No, that comes when Jean Blanc gives Becca a gift—a custom perfume titled “Miss Becca Blanc”—and a kiss, which she wasn’t feeling. He tells her he’s falling in love with her, to which Becca admits she doesn’t feel the same way, so maybe it’s only fair if he leaves. The conversation is awkward, to say the least, but it gets even worse: As they’re walking out, Jean Blanc is basically like, “Oh, I’m not falling in love with you; I just thought that’s what you wanted to hear at this stage.”

Uh, nope. This obviously solidifies Becca’s decision to send him home, and she tells the rest of the guys what happened after he leaves. She’s too upset to continue the party and, on top of that, she’s not giving out a rose.

That puts even more pressure on Wills, who has a one-on-one date the next day. Becca’s still bummed about the Jean Blanc thing, but it seems a snowmobile ride and a cuddle by a fire with Wills is the cure. By the end of the day, they’re goofing off and throwing snowballs at each other.

That night, Wills opens up about a past relationship. He says he talked about getting married and having kids with his ex, but trouble started when she asked for a “hall pass.” Wills wasn’t down to make their relationship open, and then he saw her with another guy—at a place where they often celebrated their anniversaries, no less. Wills and Becca bond over their heartbreak and their shared fear of not feeling like they’re good enough for a partner, so she gives him the rose. After, they make out against a wall and, not gonna lie, it’s definitely the hottest kiss this season so far. I like Wills, so fingers crossed he doesn’t have some scandal come out in the coming weeks. At this rate, you never know.

The episode closes with the rose ceremony—Becca chose to forego a cocktail party—and Leo, Colton, Blake, Jason, Connor, Lincoln, John, Chris, David, and Jordan are all safe. (That means Nick and Christon are leaving for those keeping track.)

Next week: Welcome to Vegas! Chris thinks he’s the best guy. “You’re worse than Arie.”



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'The Bold Type' Is TV's Best Depiction of Female Friendship


The first scene of The Bold Type’s second season, which premieres tonight, stays true to the show’s essence. In it, Jane (Katie Stevens) and Sutton (Meghann Fahy) are posted outside an airport gate waiting for their friend Kat (Aisha Dee) to return from her international flight. A 30-minute wait morphs into two hours. Then three. They’re exhausted, but they keep waiting. After all, Kat was abroad to win back her maybe-girlfriend Adena (Nikohl Boosheri). An intense situation like that warrants an immediate update, so Jane and Sutton wait.

When Kat eventually comes through the gate, Jane and Sutton’s energy resurges. They’re so happy to have their friend back—happy to again be the trio thousands of people grew to love when The Bold Type premiered last summer.

That, in a nutshell, sums up the appeal of this glossy Freeform show that follows three twenty-somethings as they climb the New York media ladder. You might have caught the show when it debuted in June 2017, but most likely watched on Hulu several months later—that’s really when The Bold Type gained its feverish following. And rightfully so: It’s quite simply one of the most delightful shows on television, one you shouldn’t sleep on anymore.

PHOTO: Freeform

Aisha Dee as Kat on The Bold Type

Especially not this season, when the stakes and the drama are higher than ever. You’ll be pleased to learn the two-hour premiere of The Bold Type‘s second chapter is good—very good. The show picks up where things left off last year: Jane quit Scarlet magazine to start work as a writer for the political website Incite. Sutton’s now a fashion assistant at the magazine and figuring out her relationship with Richard, an older executive within the company. Meanwhile, Kat traveled to South America to be with Adena, an artist who she may or may not be in love with. These issues are all addressed in the premiere, and fully resolved in surprising ways.

Fans will have a blast watching The Bold Type this season, but they don’t need more incentive to tune in. My goal here is to appeal to those who wrote the show off as just schmaltzy, shallow fare. While, yes, there’s definitely an element of froth to The Bold Type—the fictional world of Scarlet is very glitzy and celebrity-filled—it’s more than just pure escapism.

At the center of the show is an unbreakable friendship between three young women. The first season threw everything at Jane, Sutton, and Kat, yet their loyalty to each other never wavered. Sure, that might seem a bit overly earnest, but it’s actually pretty radical for a female-centered show, especially one that’s set in the world of magazines. The Devil Wears Prada, The Hills, Ugly Betty, and countless other shows set in fashion infamously presented a frigid, woman-eat-woman universe.

Then there’s female-driven programming at large. Gossip Girl, Big Little Lies, even The Real Housewives franchise: All these shows zero in on the catty behavior among its protagonists, who are, by and large, women. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that; it’s unrealistic to expect characters to get along all the time, regardless of gender. You need conflict to move a story along, and watching a rich bitch on screen is, admittedly, so much fun.

But it’s nice that The Bold Type doesn’t have one. There’s this problematic idea in our society that women can’t get along with each other in the workplace. Take the Ocean’s 8 cast members, who were plagued by rumors of on-set feuding for months. “Certain members of the media have wanted us to fight each other…. They wanted there to be competition and catfights,” Anne Hathaway said on the Today show in May. That mentality filters into so much of the content we consume daily. We’re inundated with catfights.

Which is why a show like The Bold Type is such a breath of fresh air. For a series this dramatic and dishy and delicious to feature virtually no female fighting is exciting. It proves female-centered narratives can be captivating without the cattiness. Of course, Kat, Sutton, and Jane will most likely have an argument at some point—it’s inevitable—but it’s fine because the first point of entry for their characters isn’t “They hate each other.” That’s important, and it will fuel how all the conflict unfolds this season. No matter what storylines come their way, Jane, Sutton, and Kat will be OK. It’s just in their DNA.

KATIE STEVENS

PHOTO: Freeform

Katie Stevens as Jane on The Bold Type

If more shows like The Bold Type existed (alongside The Real Housewives; I’m not ready to give them up), then maybe these preconceived notions about women at work wouldn’t exist. Ocean’s 8 is certainly eradicating those notions. “We were all collaborating—all the time. Now we’re friends. We genuinely love each other and we’re so there for each other. It’s a beautiful thing,” Hathaway said about her Ocean’s 8 costars.

And so is The Bold Type. What the Ocean’s 8 women had offscreen is what The Bold Type leads have on, and we need to see more of that. Showcasing all types of female relationships on TV—the good and the bad—will certainly help debunk the reductive stereotypes that’ve existed in pop culture for eons. To believe it, you have to see it.

The Bold Type airs Tuesdays at 8:00 P.M. ET on Freeform.



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'The Bachelorette' Season 14 Episode 3 Recap: Literally Everyone Is Injured


How many watch parties were confused tonight when, halfway through the broadcast, The Bachelorette cut over to Donald Trump meeting Kim Jong-Un for the first time? God, I hope at least one person had a little too much Final Rosé and thought Becca was getting two new additions to the mansion. But enough with world politics and on to the important things: This episode’s recap.

It’s raining in California, so the guys are being appropriately emo—especially Jordan and David. Jordan’s the worst, according to David, because he ran around the house naked but also spends too much time picking out clothes. Jordan says David sucks because he’s “walking around cooking scrambled eggs all day.” Wow, they both make such solid arguments. What side to choose?!

Meanwhile, Colton is sulking because he told Becca last week that he dated her friend, former Bachelor contestant Tia, and it didn’t go well. Funny how that works.

But just when I think the guys are moody enough to start smoking clove cigarettes and expand their beret collection, Chris Harrison comes in with good news: There’ll be two group dates and a “fantastic” one-on-one date this week. First up is a group date with the following: Wills, Jason, Jordan, David, Jean Blanc, and Colton.

Colton views this as a chance to prove to Becca his feelings. Cue a knock on the door: It’s Tia! She’s here with other favorites from Arie’s season—Caroline, Bekah, Kendall, and Seinne—to check out the guys and give Becca feedback. Before the guys show up, though, Becca asks Tia about her fling with Colton. It’s a little awkward, but Tia says they dated before The Bachelor even started airing and he ended things when he was cast.

Becca, understandably, is concerned that Colton applied for the show thinking Tia was going to be the Bachelorette. Her goal for the group date—which involves the guys pampering the women at a spa—is to feel out whether he’s here for her or not.

But first, she must introduce the guys to her friends, which brings me to the best part of this episode: BECCA FORGETS JASON’S NAME. I’ve been watching this show since Jake Pavelka’s season and that is an actual first. Even Arie, a man whose brain is filled with race car exhaust fumes, remembered his contestants’ names.

I’d rather spend hours dissecting the ramifications of this than any of the Colton-Tia-Becca drama, but Jason takes it surprisingly well. In fact, when he tells Colton they should talk about the “elephant in the room” he means the Tia situation and not the fact that the woman he is dating doesn’t even know his name. LOL this show.

As for the date itself, I think the women spend more time painting the guys nails than getting pampered. (Fun fact: Jason looks fab in a hot pink shade.) Kendall’s the only one interested in watching how the guys interact with Becca, but I get it: If I were one of these ladies, I’d be all about the free back massages and foot rubs.

But Becca can’t fully relax without addressing the Colton-Tia situation head on, so she pulls Tia aside for a chat. Tia says the most they did was kiss; early on in their relationship, or whatever it was, he told her he applied for the show and that was that. “I hope he’s fully here for you,” Tia says. This doesn’t really answer everything for me—or, apparently, Becca because she admits she’s still confused.

Later at the after party, Becca says she really likes Jason and has “a little crush” on him—but girl, you don’t know his name! Still, they makeout. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

While that’s going on, Jordan tells the other dudes that he’s had over 4,000 matches on Tinder. The guys try to dissect how much time that would take and the “matching percentages,” as if Jordan would have meaningful contributions to a conversation about math.

This annoys David so much that he uses his alone time with Becca to shit talk Jordan.

“She sees the inner chicken in me.” David, bragging.

Becca teases Jordan about it, which annoys him. A petty fight between Jordan and David ensues that ends with this exchange: “I have trouble achieving a 100% success rate in all walks of life,” David says. “Hey, cheers to you being a bitch,” Jordan shoots back before walking away to clear the air with Becca. The real highlight of this fight is Wills’ amazing head shakes, reaction faces, and giggles in the background.

“Guess what: Attached to me is my professionality.” – Jordan

When Becca and Colton finally sit down together, he says some vague things about why he’s here. They kiss. It’s fine. She gives him the date rose.

The next day, Becca has a one-on-one date with Chris. They head to Capitol Records, where Grammy-winning artist Richard Marx is playing the piano. He serenades Becca with “Right Here Waiting,” and it’s a very romantic date…between Becca and Richard.

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Eventually, Richard reveals the real reason he’s here: to write a love song for Chris and Becca. The two are separated so they can go write in a journal about their feelings. (Uh, told you this episode is extra moody.) Chris says he’s having a hard time being vulnerable because his parents divorced when he was young; when he wrote a letter to his dad a few years ago expressing all his feelings about their relationship, it went unanswered. Becca’s basically like—in a very nice way!—”get over and be vulnerable or else.”

The finished love song is good, but let’s be real: It’s no “Right Here Waiting.”

Back at the mansion, the following guys get invited on the next group date: Clay, Leo, Christon, Ryan, John, Garrett, Mike, Lincoln, Connor, and Blake.

PHOTO: Paul Hebert

I heard feedback from our Senior Beauty Editor’s boyfriend, Mike, that I should give contestant Mike more attention because he’s a great sports writer. So, here’s a photo of Mike for Mike!

On their date, Chris and Becca sit down to a dinner they won’t eat and he explains why it’s so hard to open up. Becca’s happy she got to see that side of him, so she gives him a rose. They go to another room, and, you guessed it, Richard Marx is at a piano playing “Right Here Waiting” again. Well, that’s now stuck in my head forever, so thanks Bach.

But hold up: There’s a dramatic cut to David being carried out (in his underwear, no less) on a stretcher. There’s blood everywhere. Lincoln’s saying nobody knows if he’s going to make it. What?!

The next morning, with bloody towels still strewn about the mansion, Chris Harrison tells Becca that David was rushed to the hospital and is in intensive care. His diagnosis: “Busted nose. Busted face.” Her first question is, “Who did that?” I think that reveals a lot about what Becca really thinks of her Bachelors. The answer is nobody, though: David fell out of his bunk bed and landed on his face.

She calls him to check on him, but has to keep the convo short because there’s a group date to prioritize. The premise: Two women from the Legends football league are here to make the guys run drills, followed by a “Becca Bowl” football game. I don’t have much to say about game—I watch one sports game a year, the Super Bowl, and only for the snacks—but I do get that it’s serious when Clay, a professional player, injures his wrist and is sent to the ER.

“How many people is Becca gonna put in the hospital this season?” – my husband

Another sneak injury I noticed at the after party: Blake’s fingers were taped up. Why is everyone so injured?

Despite his trip to the hospital, Clay shows up to the party with his arm in a sling. Apparently he left early—he literally told the doctor “we can do this tomorrow”—in order to have more time with Becca. She rewards him with a rose, as she should.

It doesn’t last long, though: The next day Clay finds out he needs an operation for his wrist which means he has to leave early. He and Becca share a tearful goodbye, and it’s so sad that we don’t even get a rose ceremony this episode!

Next week: David’s back! “The chicken crossed the road and got hit by a bus.” Uh oh, Becca’s feeling disrespected.



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'The Bachelorette' Season 14 Episode 2 Recap: So Many Good Arie Luyendyk Jr. Burns


I’m just going to spoil this week’s The Bachelorette from the top: Nothing on the show this week was as dramatic or disturbing as the controversy surrounding Garrett’s social media history that’s taking place off-screen. He’s canceled in my book, but Becca asked that we see this journey through—so, out of respect for her, let’s get right to the recap. Plus, on the bright side, there were several good Arie insults!

We open with Becca bopping around Los Angeles on a basket bicycle like she’s considering a career as a Zooey Deschanel celebrity impersonator—I mean, I could see it—and waiting for the first dates to begin. While she’s doing that, Chris Harrison arrives at the mansion with a date card and a piece of advice for the guys: If and when you get time with Becca, take advantage of it. With that, he reveals the first group date: Clay, Nick, Chris, David, Jean Blanc, Jordan, Connor, and Lincoln. Jordan is not worried about his competition:

“Being a model, I beat good-looking guys all the time.” – Jordan, spewing nonsense.

The fellas head to a ranch to meet Becca, where she tells them that because she was pampered on her first date with Arie—a date I was very jealous of, by the way—she wants to do the same for these scrubs. She leads them to a room filled with champagne and fancy tuxedos, and the guys have no issue with immediately stripping down in front of Becca—and the cameras, of course. Jordan wastes no time using this opportunity to show off his one modeling move: “the pensive.”

PHOTO: Paul Hebert

Now that they’re dressed in their finest, the group takes off to…a wedding-themed obstacle course. Rachel and Bryan are there and explain that the guys have to get “down and dirty” a.k.a. they’re going to trash these beautiful tuxedos. Why?!?!

The course goes like this: The men must strap a heavy ball onto their ankle—the ole ball and chain gag, har har—that they drag to the next event: cold feet. (You can guess what that involves.) After that, they have to climb a slippery slope to get to “Get Over Your Exes,” which requires crawling through mud to put a bouquet in a vase. That leads to a large wedding cake that they have to dig through using only their mouth to find an “engagement ring.” Once they have that, they race to the alter, where Becca is waiting. Got it?

If you don’t, Chris tells us all we need to know: Yes, there are professional athletes there, like Clay, and guys like Lincoln “who has a chiseled body” (tell me more, please), but maybe, just maybe smarts will win out on this one. TBD.

Once the race begins, the hardest part seems to be the “cold feet.” Bryan tells the dudes not to worry “about the shrinkage” in the cold water. Clay certainly isn’t—he’s calm and collected. Still, Lincoln is the first one out of the water. Chris thinks Lincoln cheated—and he’s not alone. David claims Lincoln pushed him out of the way as they raced to the alter. Lincoln’s not worried about the guys’ saltiness, though: You go all in for love, right? I get why the guys are annoyed, but I also don’t care because the stakes are so, so low.

Later that night, after everyone’s had a chance to clean up, there’s a cocktail party. Becca wears a STUH-UH-UNNING red pantsuit. Hot. Right away, Lincoln asks to if they can have some alone time, and this also pisses the guys off and oh my God what babies. You will get your time! Go enjoy your two-drinks-per-hour free booze and relax.

Anyway, Lincoln makes the most of his time with Becca by telling her that he feels like he can be himself around her. She rewards this with a framed “wedding” photo from his victory. He’s so excited, he asks if he can kiss her again now that they’re not covered in cake and mud. They make out, and then he brags about his new picture to the other guys. Connor deems this to be “childish.”

To be fair, Lincoln is being a little obnoxious—but not enough to warrant what happens next: Connor get so mad at Lincoln he takes the framed photo and tosses it across the room. Lincoln picks it up and puts it back on the table, flat, so Connor reacts by throwing it through a window into the pool. Uh, I’m with Lincoln so far on this. Is it because he’s very attractive? Possibly, but also Connor’s being a lil brat.

Jordan calls Connor’s move “epic,” which again tells me I’m on the right side of this. Lincoln, however, doesn’t fight back because he was “raised better.” He’s just bummed because he was looking forward to showing his mom the picture. (Uhhh, sure.)

Elsewhere, Jean Blanc and Becca cuddle under a blanket and bond. They make out.

The positive vibes don’t last for long: Lincoln tells Becca what happened with Connor and says he feels physically threatened. It’s a lame move for two reasons: One, being a tattle tale never ends up well on this franchise. And two, I don’t believe Lincoln, who is twice Connor’s side, is actually scared of this guy.

Still, Becca agrees that Connor’s reaction was aggressive, so she pulls him aside to talk about it. His excuse: “I just got rid of it.” She understands why it would be irritating to see that picture, but she wants a guy who can be respectful and handle himself well. Connor claims this side of himself “is not me” even though, uh, it is you because you literally just did it. Becca’s like, dude, it’s too early to behave like this.

Connor sits moodily in a dark room complaining that he’s lost his chance at the group date rose. And it’s true: That honor goes to Jean Blanc.

The next day, Lincoln CRIES while he tells the other men what happened. Apparently seeing the broken frame “broke his heart.” Some of the guys think these are crocodile tears—and Jordan even calls into question Lincoln’s accent. Jordan, if you want to hear a real fake accent, go watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

No time to unpack that further, though, because it’s time for Becca’s one-on-one date with Blake. She’s nervous because it’s her first big solo date since being engaged, so she lets Chris Harrison handle all the plans. Turns out, he can set up a pretty good date: Becca and Blake arrive at a warehouse filled with random things connected to Arie—a racing car, monitors playing his proposal, the actual damn couch he broke up with Becca on—and they get to destroy them all.

BLAKE, BECCA KUFRIN

PHOTO: Paul Hebert

Even better: Lil Jon is randomly there to DJ and yell encouragements. I’d 1000% hire him to scream things like “you can do it, girl!” while he blasts “Turn Down for What.”

“Break those hearts like Arie broke yours!” – Lil Jon

That night, Becca and Blake go to somewhere called “Warwick” for a candlelit dinner. They talk, blah blah blah, and Blake tries to bond with Becca by saying he went through “a very similar situation.” No, he did not get broken up with on national TV by a DVD copy of Cars 3 come to life, but he did fall hard and fast for someone who broke his heart. So, yes, totally the same. Whatever, Becca gives him the rose and they kiss.

At the mansion, another card reveals that Garrett, Rickey, John, Ryan, Alex, Christon, Trent, Leo, Wills, and Colton are getting a group date. That means Mike and….other guy….Jason! aren’t getting any date this week, meaning they’ll have to step it up at the rose ceremony.

Maybe it’s for the best though, because the group date is intense: They guys head to a school where three adorable but vicious kids make them run drills, scream insults, and throw 50 MPH dodgeballs at them. It’s great.

“Becca really dodged a bullet with that loser Arie last season.” – A savage kid.

“Trash! You think Becca wants trash?” This kid.

After this warm up, a twist is revealed: The guys will be competing in a dodgeball competition at Sky Zone. Even Fred Willard’s there to announce alongside Chris Harrison and shares this story: “You know, I don’t have much experience with dodgeball, but when I was in my younger years I spent a week at a nudist colony where they played volleyball in the nude. And when the whistle blew and those balls started flying, it was pure joy. I think we’re gonna have a lot of fun out here today.”

The guys are divided into two teams: pink versus green. Leo puts up a good fight for the pink team, but the green guys ultimately win. They get a trophy, and everyone gets to come to the after party. There, the first solo time of the night goes to Garrett—yuck—who leads Becca to a creepy dark pool room straight out of Swimfan to chat. “I feel like you’re the girl version of me,” he tells Becca.

Moving on: Becca’s bonding with all the guys—especially Wills, who gets emotional talking about his family. They end their convo with a make-out that he describes as “sultry and sweet.”

Meanwhile, Colton is nervous because—twist!—he had a relationship with Tia (Becca’s friend and fellow contestant from last season) before he came on the show. He tells Becca that, yes, he and Tia spent a weekend together, but it wasn’t enough to turn a “spark” into a “flame.” Becca doesn’t know how to feel about it, but it makes her feel a little bit sick. On the one hand she’s very attracted to him, but on the other this puts her in a weird position.

She’s thrown off by the whole thing, so she decides to end the night; before they go, Wills gets the group date rose.

The next day, Becca’s crying and feeling down about all the drama with Lincoln and Connor and Colton and Tia. She powers through it enough though to put on a gorgeous blue sequin dress for the rose ceremony. The guys put on their best behavior: Sweet, sweet Clay teaches her some football touchdown moves, which very smoothly transitions into a kiss. John wrote her a poem, and they kiss. Chris makes her laugh. Connor makes a picture of himself from the group date and has her take this “shit” and launch it into the pool. (“Changed man, look at that.”)

Not everyone’s behaving, though: Jordan wants to make an impression so he decides to do “more with less” and strips down to his undies.

“Nothing attracts a woman more than being comfortable next to a sexy man.” – Jordan.

Jordan interrupts David and Becca so he can sit next to hear and say nonsense things. Upset, David questions if Jordan’s there for the right reasons and confronts him about it. (“Are you more than a model? Is there any more to you?”) The fight is very stupid considering one guy was a chicken last week and the other is sitting there, nearly nude, while he clutches a fuzzy blanket.

“I wore my underwear, bro, that’s not me trying to get attention.” -Jordan. What is?

Becca has one last conversation with Colton about Tia, and it goes well enough that she gives him a rose. The other roses go to: Chris, Jason, John, Clay, Mike, Connor, Leo, David, Garrett, Nick, Ryan, Christon, Jordan, Lincoln, and Colton. (Don’t forget Jean Blanc, Wills, and Blake already had roses too.)

That means we’re saying goodbye to Alex, Rickey, and Trent. I’m looking forward to next week, which includes: Tia! “Attached to me is professionality!” “Hey, cheers to you being a bitch!” “This dude just looked like he got attacked by a bear!”



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A Complete Breakdown of the Garrett Yrigoyen Controversy on 'The Bachelorette'


Garrett Yrigoyen was one of Becca Kufrin’s favorite suitors on her first night as the Bachelorette—so much so that she gave him the coveted first impression rose. But Bachelor Nation’s impression of Yrigoyen quickly wilted when reports surfaced he has a history of liking bigoted memes on Instagram. What followed in the days after this story came out was dramatic, even by Bachelorette standards.

If you’re just now catching up on this controversy, don’t worry: We broke it down, below, so you’ll know exactly what your Bach friends are talking about.

May 24: Former Bachelor contestant Ashley Spivey posts a series of tweets claiming Yrigoyen “liked” several Instagram posts that made offensive jokes about boys who wear makeup, Caitlyn Jenner’s transition, and the Parkland shooting survivors, among other topics.

“Can we do a better job of social media deep dives on the dudes that try out for #thebachelorette – FYI douchebags we can see your likes [sic]…After Lee’s problematic @$$, [sic] I truly thought this would be something we paid better attention to,” Spivey tweeted, referring to Bachelorette season 13’s Lee Garrett, whose racist tweets were discovered after his appearance on the show. “A contestant on this season of #thebachelorette liked all of these posts on Instagram and I’m thinking it will be very hard to pull for the type of person likes [sic] any of this.”

Check out her tweets—and Yrigoyen’s alleged “likes”—below:

Neither Kufrin nor Yrigoyen immediately responded to the tweets, and ABC told Glamour they had no comment. However, the silence was short-lived.

May 30: Kufrin gives an interview to E! News about Yrigoyen. “I’ve heard a little bit about it these past couple days,” she said. “I’ve just been so busy traveling around the country with press that I haven’t really been able to read too much up on it, but everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and at the end of the day I wanted to go on this journey to open up myself and have people see my love story unfold, and I would hope that they would stay open and respect me but also stay open and respect these 28 guys that went along on the journey with me.”

She expanded on the subject in a second interview with ON with Mario Lopez, according to People. “I met 28 guys who our ideals weren’t always the same,” she said. “They have different interests. They have different hobbies, different things that they believe, and that’s what’s been so great about getting to know these guys, because everyone has different viewpoints and that’s what I loved about this journey…I just want everyone to watch it back and to get to know these guys and to get to know me for who we really are and not social media, because that’s just a small glimpse into a person and it’s not always reflective of who they are.”

May 31: Late Thursday night, Yrigoyen took to his new Instagram account—he deleted his old one with the offensive “likes” attached—to confirm this activity was true and that he deeply regrets it. Below, read his full response:

To those who I have hurt and offended: This is all new to me. I wenton the Bachelorette for the adventure and possibility of falling inlove, not fame. “I did not know what to expect once the show aired. Iam sorry to those who I offended, and I also take full responsibilityfor my ‘likes’ on Instagram that were hurtful and offensive,” hecontinued. “garret_yrigs12 was my former Instagram handle and Idecided to take it down and start fresh because I have learned anextremely valuable lesson and am taking steps to grow, become moreeducated, and be a better version of myself. I am not perfect, and Iwill never be anywhere close, but now I will always be more informedand aware of what I am liking and supporting, not just on Instagram,but in life. I never realized the power behind a mindless double tapon Instagram and how it bears so much weight on people’s lives. I didnot mean any harm by any of it. My Instagram ‘likes’ were not a truereflection of me and my morals. I am not the negative labels peopleare associating me with. For those who do know me, I am a sincere,genuine, loving, light-hearted, open-minded and non-judgementalindividual. I like to make new friends with anyone I meet and wanteveryone to find their happiness. I love to laugh often and enjoyseeing others do the same. I hope that some day you can get to knowthe real me and the man that I am. Let my mistakes be a lesson forthose who mindlessly double tap images, memes. and videos on anysocial media content that could be many things including hurtful,degrading, and dehumanizing. I do not want my social media to definewho I am, and I will take better care moving forward to support allwalks of life. Again, I sincerely apologize and am sorry for any hurt,damage, or offense I may have caused.”

And so ends this drama—for now. Let’s see how the rest of The Bachelorette unfolds this season.

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