The decision to date someone from Bachelor Nation makes sense, when you think about it. You can see all the red flags you’d normally notice on a second, third, or fourth date before you even meet the person—all while wearing sweats and drinking wine in the comfort of your couch. Oh, he blatantly lied about the girlfriend he has back home? Swipe left. He’s eating deli meats and doing pull-ups on door frames? Swipe left. He refers to himself as the Box King? Hard swipe left.
We all do this when watching The Bachelorette, myself included. But when you’re a hot, single celebrity, you can actually turn those fake swipes into something real. If a random person slid into Mike Johnson’s DMs after seeing how well he treated Hannah Brown, he might ignore them. When Demi Lovato does it, well, that’s different. (Just a hypothetical situation, of course.) By the time their dinner came around, Lovato had presumably watched several episodes of Johnson on The Bachelorette and had at least a rough idea of his personality. That’s more information to go into a first date with than most people get.
ABC / Getty Images
Granted, the pool of men who appear on The Bachelorette is not that deep. They’re hot, yes, but for some that’s where the appeal ends. This is where my metaphorical swiping model comes into play yet again. Instead of seeing your date criticize a stranger IRL for wearing “athletic shoes” to the beach, you can watch it on TV. (In all seriousness, that line was actually hilarious; Jordan Kimball was a riot this season on Bachelor in Paradise.) ABC already found out for you if the guys are looking for love or just spon-con. Female celebrities are simply reaping the benefits from that.
Some of these relationships have the potential to go the distance. Hyland and Adams are engaged and couldn’t be more in love. “That can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of stuff,” she posted to Instagram after he popped the question in July. So if it turns out that Hadid and Cameron, Johnson and Lovato, or Bilson and Viall are actually couples, they have a promising template to work with.
Wait, so was Chris Harrison really just a celebrity matchmaker this entire time? The mind absolutely boggles.
Christopher Rosa is the staff entertainment writer at Glamour. Follow him on Twitter @chrisrosa92.
Last night’s Game of Thrones was intense, to put it lightly. After seasons of buildup, we finally got to see the Battle of Winterfell, which ended in a surprising-but-satisfying way: Arya killed the Night King by stabbing him with a dagger made of Valyrian steel. This turn of events set Twitter ablaze, with everyone cheering—both physically and metaphorically—for Maisie Williams’ beloved character.
Well, not everyone. For whatever reason, some guys out there think Arya didn’t “deserve” this victorious moment. In fact, they’re calling her a “Mary Sue,” which is a literary term used to describe an idealized female character who’s seen a “perfect” and has success handed to them. The derision for Arya has gotten so out of control that “Mary Sue” is now trending on Twitter.
But of course droves of people are jumping to her defense. “People calling Arya a Mary Sue may have missed the part where she trained for six seasons to be an assassin,” one person tweeted. “She’s been training as an assassin for 8 FREAKING SEASONS, and this was the payoff,” posted someone else.
“Wait wait wait. Some folks are calling Arya a ‘Mary Sue’ when she spent the entire series—seven whole seasons—training to be a master assassin? It takes 3-4 years to become a deployable Navy SEAL, but Arya is a Mary Sue?” wrote another person.
A popular female-centric comic site that’s literally called The Mary Sue even hopped in Arya’s corner. “Glad to see that we are trending on Twitter,” the site tweeted in a statement. “We here at The Mary Sue are so happy you’re reading us and that this has nothing to do with men diminishing the importance of a female character who trained for something through over 7 seasons of a television show.”
Check out some more responses, below:
We couldn’t have said it any better ourselves. Arya Stark didn’t defeat the Night King because she got lucky—she did it because she’s the best assassin on Game of Thrones. And there are eight seasons of receipts to prove it.
Your first crush is a rite of passage. The fixations that follow it are just life. Nervous, awkward, sublime. Disastrous. Transcendent. Here, we celebrate infatuations, obsessions, and passions in all their exquisite splendor. Meet our It’s Just a Little Crush series. Isn’t she divine?
Internet Boyfriend (n): A famous or semifamous male person whom your entire Twitter feed has a crush on at the same time. Often a newcomer who at least seems like a feminist. Arrived on the scene with a breakthrough project that made the world go, “?.” Can be in a relationship, despite Internet Boyfriend status. Can’t be married.
How to use it in a sentence: Noah Centineo is this week’s Internet Boyfriend, but I heard the star of that new Netflix rom-com has serious IB potential.
The advent of the Internet Boyfriend (circa 2008) has been explored at length elsewhere, and in truth there is no one definitive account. But what makes an Internet Boyfriend? That’s easier to assess. Because while Internet Boyfriends come in a wealth of looks, aesthetics, and levels of fame, true specimens do share several essential common traits. Of course, an Internet Boyfriend is lovable and charismatic, but so are tons of dudes.
The Internet Boyfriend takes it one step further: If he met your parents, he’d offer up a crumb crake that he’d baked himself—no questions asked. He doesn’t have some weird complex about splitting the check and will happily talk You fan theories with your friends. He’d never leave you on “read.”
At present, Noah Centineo is the Internet’s current BF. His performance in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before made an entire generation of jaded Netflix users believe in romance. But 2018’s Internet Boyfriend can’t hold the top spot forever. With 2019 comes a new slate of men who look like they’d really love to meet your mom and saw this Maya Angelou quote on Instagram that reminded them of you.
When ABC announced that Becca Kufrin would be the next Bachelorette, Bachelor Nation was ecstatic, to put it mildly. We all watched as Arie Luyendyk Jr. cruelly dumped her on national TV—a breakup so infamous even Saturday Night Live parodied it—so who more deserving? Fans were rooting for this Bachelorette to find the love of her life—and, according to Kufrin, she did: She’s been engaged to the winner of her final rose since taping ended in early May.
But after Kufrin’s season of The Bachelorette premiered, startling truths about some of her suitors came to light. Most notably, Lincoln Adim’s conviction of indecent assault and battery. And then there’s front-runner Garrett Yrigoyen, who admitted to liking several bigoted memes on Instagram.
For the most part, though, Kufrin hasn’t had much to say about these controversies. She’s remained silent on Adim’s conviction. When asked about Yrigoyen’s social media history, she told E! News that “everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and…I would hope people would stay open and respect me but also stay open and respect these 28 guys that went along on the journey with me.”
Of course, as the season comes to a close, Kufrin is aware that she’ll have to answer tough questions. Following the taping of Men Tell All (which airs Monday, July 30), she sat down with Glamour to talk about her experience with Adim and more. Read on.
It’s been two months since you announced you’re engaged. How has your relationship with your fiancé changed since then?
Becca Kufrin: It’s just grown exponentially. We’ve just learned so much more about each other, and it’s just grown so much. I’m even happier.
Throughout this season you kept saying what a great group of guys you had, but certain things have come to light that we didn’t know about. Do you still stand by that?
Becca: I still stand by what I said, and I still think those guys are amazing. And you know, yes, some relationships were a lot stronger. I learned a lot more about each guy and each relationship, but I respect all of them and wish them all the happiness in the world.
PHOTO: ABC/Paul Hebert
Lincoln wasn’t at the Men Tell All taping, nor was he mentioned. Now that we know his history, did you ever feel unsafe with him on the show?
Becca: No. I’m always surrounded by people. There’s a lot of bodies around, and I never felt unsafe. He always treated me with respect. So, yeah…
Once the fantasy suite dates come around, you get more time alone to talk about important topics with the remaining guys. Do you talk about politics and social issues, and where they stand?
Becca: Oh yeah, we talked about everything. I felt like whether it was on camera or off camera, I didn’t hold anything back. I don’t think the guys [held] anything back either. So any questions we had were brought up.
In Monday’s episode you said that you’re in love with two guys. How do you know you made the right choice?
Becca: You know, it’s something unexplainable. It’s just something I felt in my heart. All of the guys were amazing, but [I had to think about] what one would last a lifetime and what one would make me happy when I’m 30 or 45 or 70 or 90. It was just something that I felt, and I had to follow that.
PHOTO: ABC/Paul Hebert
Looking back, who would you have kept around longer? Who would you have eliminated sooner?
Becca: Oh man. I mean…Grocery Store Joe is amazing. I actually bumped into him in Chicago, and he’s great. Trent wasn’t at Men Tell All, but he was a guy who was so funny and always kept me laughing those first few weeks. That being said, I think I made the right choice week by week and did what was right for me.
I’ll admit it was a little harder than usual to sit on my couch and snark about things like Blake’s dancing given that tonight’s episode of The Bachelorette was interrupted by President Trump’s Supreme Court nomination. Like, no big, this is a person who will influence our country for generations to come. But I’ll let our very intelligent and hard-working news and culture team tell you all about Brett Kavanaugh’s qualifications—read that here—and channel all of my feelings about it into this recap instead. Spoilers ahead.
We’re in the Bahamas this week, and Becca tells Chris Harrison she’s looking forward to “no drama.” LOL, we’ll see how that turns out. She also admits she’s starting to catch feelings for a few of the guys, though she’s afraid something will ruin it. Something like…a social media controversy coming to light right as the season airs? Maybe?
Anyway, Becca tells the guys that this week’s format is a little different: There will be three one-on-one dates with roses and a group date with one rose, and no rose ceremony. Colton gets the first solo date of the week, and the reaction from the other guys is awkward. “None of us can see her with Colton,” Blake confesses. Then we learn a bombshell: Colton’s a hiding a “big” secret from Becca. He’s a virgin.
Cut to a million soundbites from Becca about how hunky Colton is and how their relationship is full of “passion” and how he can “pick me up and do whatever he wants.” Editors, I thought you were supposed to be on Becca’s side? What gives? It gets worse: Right as Colton is about to tell Becca that he’s a virgin, a man rolls up in a yellow boat to tell Becca she needs more “conch” in her life. Yes, Colton and Becca are going diving for conchs solely so The Bachelorette can make a bunch of penis jokes.
“I’m hoping Colton dives deep for that conch.” – Becca
The two learn that the conch’s pistol is considered “Bahamian Viagra”; they try it but Becca, still ignorant about Colton’s sexual history, assures us they don’t need an aphrodisiac. That night, Colton finally—finally!—tells Becca he’s a virgin. She responds by excusing herself from the table, leaving him to sweat it out alone. When she eventually returns, Colton explains that he’s not waiting for marriage—he’s just waiting for “the right heart”—and Becca assures him she’s not one to judge. For her, the fact that it’s not a “marriage thing” but rather “a heart thing” is a good sign. TBD if Becca’s the “right heart” when it comes time for the fantasy suites, but Becca gives Colton a rose.
Garrett gets the next one-on-one date: a seaplane to a private island, but instead of looking out at the gorgeous views they just make out. When the plane lands, Becca yells “wooo!” and confirms something I’ve long suspected: She’s a total woo girl.
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On the beach, Becca and Garrett do that awkward pose where she stands in front of him and cranes her neck around to kiss. Just turn your body around!
They stop kissing long enough for Garrett to admit that it’s been tough seeing the other guys go out on dates with her. He opens up a little more about his divorce later that night. According to him, his ex was “hot-headed” and he felt like he had to change who he was to make her happy. Becca admits this makes her nervous—that he wouldn’t be his real self around her—but he claims he’s learned by now not to let a red flag linger. They do not talk about his social media history, which is a red flag I would like to not keep lingering. Anyway, he says he’s falling in love, and she gives him a rose and calls him a “stand-up man.” Hmm.
The next day, Becca takes Blake to a beach party where the Baha Men are performing. This is much more my speed—way better than conch jokes or spending more than 20 minutes with Garrett. They’re having a good time, until Blake confesses that he’s gotten in his head this week thinking about her with the other guys. Over dinner, he opens up about his parents—his mom had an affair with his basketball coach/English teacher when he was in high school—and how it’s made him realize he wants his family to be better at communicating. Then he tells Becca he’s in love with her. They kiss, and he gets a rose.
In the morning, Wills, Leo, and Jason meet Becca for the dreaded three-on-one date. Her time with Wills and Jason goes well, but when she sits down with Leo he admits that he feels like he needs more time with her to get to where some of the other guys are at in their feelings. She agrees and says it’s better if she doesn’t bring him to hometowns. So with that, Becca, Wills, and Jason get in the boat and leave poor Leo wandering around alone on the island. Luckily, if there’s anybody capable of swimming back to the Baha Mar, it’s Leo.
“I can’t freaking wait for you to come to freaking Buffalo.” – Jason
That evening, Becca calls Jason out for moving a little slower than the other guys, but he says he does feel strongly about what they have. Wills, meanwhile, gets emotional as he describes his love for Becca. Apparently that’s not enough though, because she dumps him moments later—in front of Jason, no less. So rude! Wills deserves better, and also his shirt is excellent tonight.
Next week: It’s hometown dates! “He’d be a hot dad.” “I don’t want you to pick him.”
Last week, I complained that Garrett and Lincoln’s pasts have cast a shadow of doubt on all the men this season of The Bachelorette. That feeling was completely verified tonight by Chris, a sweaty pocket square come to life.
As he threw tantrum after tantrum, both in front of Becca and behind her back, I wondered if any of these guys are worthy partners. Sure, some have bigger, scarier red flags than the others; but the few who do seem somewhat decent, like John or Blake, don’t get enough screen time to actually confirm whether they are good people or not. Only one stood out to me this week—Wills—but we’ll get to that. First, let’s break down what happened.
We’re in Las Vegas, and the guys have packed their best scoop-neck T-shirts for the occasion. Colton gets the first solo date of the week, and it’s a doozy: He meets Becca at the Virgin River for a “safari” which is really just riding camels in the desert while two less-than-enthused dusty dudes guide the animals. Colton seems…thrilled. This, uh, romantic journey leads them to a random hot tub the producers have lugged out into the middle of the camel pen.
Question: What do the camel guys do while these two dodos drink Chardonnay and make out in a hot tub? Sit in an air-conditioned van nearby? Feed the camels? Watch? TBH, I’m more invested in their afternoon than Becca and Colton’s conversation. I just don’t trust him after the whole Tia drama!
It must have gone well, though, because Becca wears her best sequined dress—and she has a lot of sequined dresses—to dinner that night.
“We were in the middle of the desert in a hot tub.” – Becca. “I know.” – Colton. RIVETING.
Colton shares his big sob story: He’s only said “I love you” once before, to a girlfriend who didn’t say it back and then broke up with him. That’s it? Seems contrived to me, but Becca gives him a rose.
The next day is a group date with Wills, Garrett, Blake, John, Connor, Leo, Lincoln, Jason, and Chris. The fellas wonder where they’re headed, and Garrett hopes there’s some “banana hammock” action involved, to which I say: Oh hell no. Leave Magic Mike Live to the professionals, please.
Instead, the date is at the home of Mr. Vegas himself: Wayne Newton. But as he gave everyone a tour of his home, I realized I don’t know that much about Newton. So, I Googled for more. I wish I hadn’t because some of the first stories that came up were this and this. Sigh.
Anyway, the purpose of this date: The guys have to write a song for Becca. Bachelorette producers, we’ve already done this date this season! With Chris and Richard Marx! How could you forget?
Side note: The most exciting part about the group date is Wills’ floral two-piece set.
“Hey, hey, hey. I see you’ve found my favorite rock.” – Wayne Newton bonding with Chris
PHOTO: Paul Hebert
This is Wayne Newton’s favorite rock.
Chris is feeling confident because he’s already done this before. He’s so confident, in fact, that he jumps right into singing. Kudos to the editors for juxtaposing that with peacocks squawking in response. It doesn’t bode well for the big twist: The guys must perform their songs in front of a live audience that night.
When the performances roll around, even adorable matching tuxedos can’t help these dudes from butchering their songs. Not a one had talent, though I am impressed that they were all game to power through the humiliation. Chris does the best crowd work, mostly by insulting Arie.
“That was brutal. It was awful!” Jason perfectly sums up this date.
After, they get the entire T-Mobile Arena to themselves, which is both excessive and kinda awesome. Chris is unbothered that the other guys are getting alone time with Becca because he thinks his performance has made him “one of the top front runners,” apparently.
He should be a little bothered, though, because the other guys are making more progress. Especially Blake, who tells Becca that he’s falling in love with her. She responds by saying, “I like hearing that” and giving him the date rose—before she’s even talked to Chris. This gesture leaves Chris “shook.” So shook, that he spends the rest of the night whining about it and making empty threats that he’s going to pack his bags and leave. Dude, she’s good without you. Just go.
The next morning, we learn that Connor looks cute in glasses. Oh, and Jordan and David are going on the dreaded two-on-one date.
They get in a Jeep and off-road to their destination: a bed in the middle of “the Valley of Fire” with a VERY LARGE CRYSTAL next to the date rose. I don’t think there are enough large healing crystals in the world to smooth over David and Jordan’s hatred of each other. This suspicion is immediately proven by David, who wastes no time at all throwing Jordan under the bus to Becca.
Naturally, Becca doesn’t like to hear that Jordan might be “settling” for her, so she confronts him about it right away. Jordan denies all of it, of course, and stomps over to David to call him out.
“Love is the greatest power on Earth. Being me is my greatest power, do you get that? Being you isn’t your greatest power.” – Jordan
Both huff and puff until Becca tells them they’re acting like sixth graders, which is an insult to sixth graders. This still doesn’t stop David and Jordan from bickering so Becca finally calls it: David should go home. She’s going to continue the date with Jordan, but she’s not ready to give him a rose quite yet.
With that, Becca and Jordan drive away in the Jeep. David’s stuck out in the desert alone with no ride home, and I’m very concerned that a man who dresses in a chicken suit has the necessary survival skills to make it out of there alive with just a half-drunken bottle of champagne for sustenance.
Moving on: For their evening date Becca hopes she and Jordan can reach a deeper level of their relationship, but he spends most of it talking about himself. When he leans in for a kiss, Becca laughs it off. And shocker: She decides to send Jordan home too. She watches a romantic firework display, alone, as Jordan ponders why she dumped him. The men cheer as his bags get taken away.
The next night, at the cocktail party, Becca grabs Chris first to talk. She’s confused because he made literally no effort to see her during the group date, and she heard that he wants to leave. He doesn’t do himself any favors when they sit down and he “jokes” that she owes him, like, 50,000 kisses. When she confronts him, he gives bullshit excuses so stupid Becca eventually leaves because the conversation is going nowhere.
Note: Can we talk about how good Wills’ plaid suit is? He’s got the best fashion and nobody’s acknowledging it, so here I am acknowledging it.
After venting and crying to Colton and Garrett, Chris decides he’s not ready to give up—oh, so now you’re a man of action—and interrupts Wills’ conversation with Becca. He asks to steal her away, but Becca tells him no because she and Wills just sat down. Chris begs again. So, Wills—very calmly and sexily, I will add—tells Chris he’ll give him two minutes, but then he’s coming right back. Will walks away in his beautiful suit, waits the agreed upon two minutes, and then comes back. Chris whines and pleads, but Wills stands his ground. Why is Chris’ time any more important than his? If I were Becca, I’d be 100% team Wills. Chris, you are:
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Chris acts soooo put upon that Wills won’t give him five more minutes, but, Chris, that’s not the terms you agreed to! Eventually, Becca tells Chris that if he leaves she’ll find him later. He goes away and complains to everyone, but they all take Wills’ side. When Wills returns, he gives Chris a read: “I didn’t have to get up at all.” Smooth.
Becca finally comes back and takes Chris away—his third time with her tonight—so he can continue to grovel and say bullshit. As my husband says, “If you have to do this much explaining, you’re not in the right.”
Still, somehow, fucking Chris gets a rose. HOW. WHY. WHAT. Becca, I demand answers! The other roses go to: Garrett, Jason, Wills, Lincoln, Leo, and Connor (related: why is his shirt so deeply unbuttoned?).
That means sweet, sweet John is going home. I’ll miss you, John! Venmo me!
Next week: “She’s in a such a bad head state right now!” “Stop trying to snake your way out of this!”
