The cost of rape may be incalculable—but this wasn’t supposed to be part of it.
New York hospitals illegally billed survivors for hundreds of forensic rape examinations, a new investigation by state Attorney General Barbara Underwood finds.
In a deal first shared with Glamour, seven hospitals have signed a settlement with Underwood’s office to pay back sexual assault survivors who were charged for their rape exams and to set up new policies to keep it from happening again.
“Survivors of sexual assault have already gone through unfathomable trauma; to then subject them to illegal bills and collection calls is unconscionable,” Underwood said in a statement provided to Glamour. “Hospitals have a fundamental responsibility to comply with New York law. My office will continue to do everything in our power to protect survivors and their rights.”
The seven hospitals in the settlement, according to the attorney general: Brookdale University Hospital Medical Center, Columbia University, Montefiore Nyack Hospital, NewYork-Presbyterian Brooklyn Methodist Hospital, NewYork-Presbyterian Columbia University Irving Medical Center, Richmond University Medical Center, and St. Barnabas Hospital.
Settlement documents reviewed by Glamour said the hospitals didn’t admit or deny breaking the law, but that they agreed to repay patients who were improperly billed and also to adopt written policies that make clear survivors are not to receive bills for rape exams.
PHOTO: Tetra Images
“Survivors of sexual assault have already gone through unfathomable trauma; to then subject them to illegal bills and collection calls is unconscionable,” says New York Attorney General Barbara Underwood.
New York law says hospitals that provide services to sexual assault survivors—including forensic exams, commonly called rape kits—are supposed to send bills directly to the state’s Office of Victim Services (unless a patient chooses otherwise).
That system is supposed to protect survivors’ privacy by making it less likely that a relative or employer might learn they sought medical help. The added layer of confidentiality ideally encourages more people to agree to undergo the exams—which means more physical evidence that can help police find attackers.
But the new investigation found that in the case of these hospitals, that process went awry.
Instead, at least 200 forensic rape examinations conducted by the health care providers were billed to patients or their insurance companies. Amounts ranged from approximately $46 to $3,000, an Underwood aide said. The hospitals also repeatedly failed to inform survivors about their billing options, according to the settlements. In some cases, the bills were sent to collection agencies whose job it was to chase down the outstanding balance.
PHOTO: Deborah Jaffe
Forensic rape examinations at seven hospitals got wrongly billed to patients or their insurers, Underwood’s office says.
Last year the New York attorney general’s office settled with Brooklyn Hospital after an investigation that started when a patient came forward to say she had been billed—not once, but seven times—for care associated with a sexual assault case.
Underwood is the first woman to serve as New York attorney general. She took over the state’s top law enforcement job on an interim basis earlier this year after Eric Schneiderman resigned amid a flurry of accusations of abusing women, which he publicly contested. In this year’s midterm elections, New Yorkers elected Letitia James to become the first black woman in state history to fill the role. James will take office in January.
It remains to be seen whether the New York settlement will encourage fresh investigations or changes in hospital and clinic rape-kit billing elsewhere, but the problem is not new, with past controversies reported from Arkansas to Alaska.
For now, Underwood’s office encourages anyone with questions about their New York hospital billing to contact its health care bureau at 800-428-9071.
Celeste Katz is senior political reporter for Glamour. Send news tips, questions, and comments to celeste_katz@condenast.com.
Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank tied the knot on Friday with a gorgeous ceremony that reignited the world’s royal wedding fever. And if you thought that things would cool down now that the festivities are over, think again: The couple is keeping all the regal excitement going by releasing their official wedding portraits, shot by photographer Alex Bramall.
The photos include Eugenie and Brooksbank posing with their families and their cadre of page boys and bridesmaids in Windsor’s regal drawing room—images that aren’t unlike the family portraits from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s big day just a few months ago. They show off the full effect of the long, flowing train on Princess Eugenie’s show-stopping bridal gown, designed by Peter Pilotto and Christopher De Vos. The gown made headlines for its deep, V-shape neckline in the back that Princess Eugenie specifically chose to highlight her spinal surgery scar in a gesture of solidarity with others who have or had scoliosis.
PHOTO: JWMAL2
Alex Bramall
PHOTO: JWMAL2
Alex Bramall
Bramall also snapped a black-and-white image of the couple sharing an intimate moment together in the Scottish State Coach after their carriage procession. Finally, a fourth image shows the newlyweds at the Royal Lodge for a private dinner, some time after Princess Eugenie had switched into her sweeping blush-toned reception gown designed by Zac Posen.
PHOTO: JWMAL2
Alex Bramall
PHOTO: JWMAL2
Alex Bramall
“It is an honor and a privilege to be invited to photograph Princess Eugenie and Jack on this most special of days,” Bramall said in a statement.
It’s not the first time he’s shot Princess Eugenie: He actually took some beautiful images of her for a spread in Harper’s Bazaar back in 2016.
The royal affair came, of course, with a royal guest list that featured Markle (who wore Givenchy) and Prince Harry, Kate Middleton (who opted for her go-to designer Alexander McQueen ), Cara Delevingne, and more. This might be the last royal wedding for now, but at least the pictures will keep everyone going for a while longer.
At the back of Blue Smoke, an upscale New York City barbecue restaurant, a quiet table on the edge of the dining room becomes a safe haven. At almost six o’clock on the dot, Tiffany Haddish makes a beeline for our two-top like it’s a bunker. Her bodyguard, Tyrone, trails behind. She’s casual in jeans and a purple tie-dyed tee that reads, “Abracadabra.” We shake hands. She’s a bit flustered.
On the way here, she tells me, she was mobbed by a group of fans who began yelling her name at the top of their lungs. In a bit of #BlackGirlMagic, she quickly made them part of a joke. “I was like, ‘You gon’ blow up the spot like that?’ ” she says. “Then I start saying, ‘That’s my accountant, that’s my business manager,’ ” picking people out of the crowd and assigning them jobs in her imaginary entourage. With the fans properly confused, she and Tyrone were able to extract themselves from the situation. Abracadabra.
Ever since she was a girl, Haddish, now 38, has taken a line in the 1988 comedy Who Framed Roger Rabbit to heart: “A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Sometimes it’s the only weapon we have in life.” It’s an ethos that has served her well. Born in Los Angeles to an African American mother and a Jewish Eritrean refugee father, she was introduced to chaos at a young age. Her dad left when she was three, and her mother, who remarried and had four more children, suffered brain damage in a car accident when Haddish was eight. The injury, Haddish says, triggered her mother’s mental illness and abusive behavior. (“Because of her, I can take a punch like nobody’s business,” she wrote in her 2017 memoir, The Last Black Unicorn.) A few years after the accident, Haddish and her siblings entered the foster care system. When she was 15, a social worker gave her two options: undergo psychiatric therapy or attend the Laugh Factory Comedy Camp. She chose the latter.
There she was mentored by the likes of Richard Pryor, Charles Fleischer (the voice of Roger Rabbit), and Chris Spencer, and began building her name on the stand-up circuit. By the mid-aughts she’d nabbed appearances in TV movies and sitcoms like That’s So Raven and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. She parlayed those bit parts into recurring roles on Real Husbands of Hollywood and If Loving You Is Wrong, a Tyler Perry–produced drama for the OWN network. Although she had a small part in Jordan Peele’s 2016 comedy Keanu, it wasn’t until her breakout role in the 2017 smash hit Girls Trip that audiences really took notice. With an all-black female cast, the film brought in more than $100 million. And Haddish’s portrayal of outrageous sidekick Dina turned her into America’s foul-mouthed sweetheart overnight.
Suddenly Tiffany Haddish’s name was in lights everywhere. In this month’s Night School, she plays a hard-nosed teacher opposite a diploma-seeking Kevin Hart. The role, she says, was a natural fit. “I don’t mind being a teacher. I always say, ‘If this comedy thing doesn’t work out, I would probably be a sex education teacher,’” she jokes. “I would be the best sex education teacher. I guarantee none of my kids would have STDs after I finish teaching them.” Next up is the comedy Nobody’s Fool, which reunites her with the box-office-dominating Perry. “I worked with Tyler way back in the day and he would barely talk to me. I was, like, number eight on the call sheet. I was low on the totem pole,” she says. “Now I’m number, like, three on the call sheet. It’s a whole other ballpark.”
This new, top-of-the-call-sheet position is something she’s been envisioning. “My opportunities are whatever I create,” Haddish says. “My thoughts from two years ago is what’s happening right now. I really think my thoughts are my magic wand.” And her best friend of 20 years, Richea Jones, confirms that Haddish has always been able to predict her own future. “One day we were coming home from a club, and Tiffany and I sat in my car talking about our dreams,” she tells me. “She was like, ‘I’m going to meet Oprah and I’m going to make her collard greens.’ I’m like, ‘Girl, you’re going to make collard greens for Oprah? OK, we’re going to dream.’ But it really happened, and even bigger, because she made collard greens with Oprah on The Ellen DeGeneres Show [earlier this year], and the whole world got to see it.”
“I didn’t confirm shit. The reporter was like, ‘Sanaa Lathan?’ I’m, like, three drinks in, so of course I was about to laugh.”
Part of that visibility is because Haddish never stops hustling. Her appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live, where she detailed a flirtatious encounter with Leonardo DiCaprio, quickly racked up a million views. And then there’s the whole “Who bit Beyoncé?” drama, a bit of tabloid fluff she keeps poking and resurfacing through a variety of confessions. I ask whether going viral is always top-of-mind. “What is that expression?” she says. “‘If they’re not talking, then you’re not doing your job.’” (And was she really pointing the finger at Sanaa Lathan in a recent interview with The Hollywood Reporter? “I didn’t confirm shit. The reporter was like, ‘Sanaa Lathan?’ I’m, like, three drinks in, so of course I was about to laugh,” she says. “They thought I put her name out there, but I didn’t. I never said nothing. And Beyoncé didn’t say nothing. Let the person who [bit Beyoncé] bury themselves…. I ain’t trying to destroy this girl. I didn’t say shit about the girl.”)
Haddish may know how to keep people talking, but she has also honed her internal moral compass over the years. While hosting the MTV Movie & TV Awards, where she sported a prosthetic belly during a Cardi B impression and roasted the famous attendees, she drew the line at anything cruel. “Some of the jokes, I was like, ‘I’m not saying that,’ ” she says. “First off, I’m not a slut bucket. Second off, that’s just rude. That’s not even funny. That’s being a bully. And I am not that person, so I’m not about to put that out there. They didn’t do anything to me, so why would I attack them?” (A joke about the Kardashians being like Star Wars—“They make a ton of money, a new one’s always popping up, and they’re ruled by a bossy overlord”—was her favorite, she says, because Kris Jenner laughed.) Audiences loved it all: Haddish, the show’s first ever black female emcee, boosted ratings 21 percent.
Valentino cape. Studio Uribe ring, $199. Oscar de la Renta dress. Wolford tights, $67. Zimmermann boots.
By Malene Birger coat, $740. Tory Burch dress, $1,298. Jennifer Fisher earrings, $325.
Cinq à Sept jacket, dress, $495. ASOS Design sweater, $56. Annie Costello Brown earrings, $363. Tory Burch ring, $148. Wolford tights, $67. Giuseppe Zanotti boots.
She’s also loyal to the ones who brought her. When we talk about Tyler Perry and the criticism that his films perpetuate black stereotypes, Haddish gets visibly upset. “I just think that a person is ignorant when they say, ‘Oh, you’re being a stereotypical black person.’ Well, what’s that? Explain that to me, because that’s an actual person, and everybody deserves to see themselves onscreen,” she says. “I feel like all facets deserve to be seen—from the doctors to the janitors to the baby mamas to the side chicks.” And she’s committed to playing women who look and talk just like her. “It’s funny because people are like, ‘Oh, Tiffany Haddish is ratchet.’ No, I’m your typical chick from the hood. And as ratchet as I might talk, or people might think I carry myself, I am making a living portraying myself.”
Being this self-aware is key to how Haddish navigates her career. She hopes to work with Steven Spielberg and Quentin Tarantino one day. Though she hasn’t heard that Uma Thurman felt pressured by the Kill Bill director to perform a stunt she feared was unsafe, when I fill her in on the details, Haddish doesn’t waver. “I know how to handle people like that,” she says. “I don’t know Tarantino personally, but I would have to meet him and see if we vibe. If I felt comfortable, I would go for it. If I didn’t feel comfortable, no.” She has also known men who gleefully wield their power in insidious ways. “I’ve had experiences where directors or producers are like, ‘You want this job?’ ” she says, her voice dripping with innuendo. “I might get real bossy and say, ‘First off, don’t nobody want to see your little dick!’ I get loud, all that.”
Haddish has had to develop these defense mechanisms the hard way. First, there was the life-altering episode when, she says, a police cadet raped her at 17 years old. “That whole experience put me in such a messed-up place for a long time, and I ended up going to counseling,” she tells me, her voice breaking. She says she reported the incident at the time but still grapples with what justice would look like for her. “Me just yelling out people’s names with no thought behind it is pointless. I need a plan,” she says. “I could be a voice, but what’s a voice going to do—just keep talking? Or is there action behind it?” Until she sorts that out, the armor is staying put. “I notice that men are afraid of women that are aggressive. So to protect myself I become semi-aggressive,” she says. “You hear about, ‘Tiffany always hitting on somebody,’ but that’s to keep them from hitting on me.” And in 2013 she divorced William Stewart amid allegations he physically abused her. (Stewart has denied the claims.) When I ask whether she’s actively dating, she demurs. “I don’t really have time. And I’ve had enough somebodies,” she says. “I done ran through 38 dudes, OK? Body count, yeah. Mine is 38. Write it down. Let them know. I’ve had 38 experiences.”
“If [The Rock] can make $65 million, I can make $65 million.”
For now, she’s keeping her sights set on building her empire. Recently Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has been her inspiration. “I’ve been studying him a lot on YouTube and stuff. I’m like, If he can make $65 million, I can make $65 million too,” she says. “I want to get on that Forbes magazine, not for the money, but to be an example to other foster youths that it don’t matter how low from the bottom you are, you can always rise to the top if you believe in yourself.”
Gucci dress. Emporio Armani boots, $825.
In addition to serving as a role model for underprivileged youth (she’s considering fostering kids herself and often encourages fans to bring suitcases to her shows, which she donates to foster children), Haddish plans to continue supporting her family. “I’m just glad I got some money now, because now I can do a better job at taking care of them,” she says. “I got my mom out of the mental institution, like I said I would, in December, and I got her an apartment with my sister and a nurse that comes to her.” She also hopes to provide her siblings with financial security. “I ain’t never said this out loud, but I want to be able to give every one of my siblings a million dollars to create whatever they want to do,” she says. “That’s four million dollars that I don’t need.”
The check comes and Haddish drains her espresso. Brimming with caffeine, or perhaps her own brand of abracadabra, she flashes a winning smile. “I try my best not to be talking shit about nobody, because I want good things to stick to me,” she says. “Believing in myself is what got me to where I’m at. And when you do that, it comes right back.”
Niela Orr is a writer and editor based in Philadelphia.
Hair: Oscar James at Ken Barboza & Associates; makeup: Dionne Wynn at iTalent; manicure: Gina Edwards at Kate Ryan Inc.; set design: Bette Adams at MHS Artists; production: Hudson Hill Production. For Haddish’s look, try OGX Smoothing + Shea Sleek Smooth Style Spray ($9, drugstores) and Gucci Opulent Volume Mascara in Iconic Black ($33, gucci.com).
Yesterday the royal family—minus the queen and Prince Philip, who had other commitments—turned up to celebrate the christening of Prince William and Kate Middleton‘s youngest son, Prince Louis. And while it was certainly the royal baby’s special day, it was his three-year-old big sister, Princess Charlotte, who really stole the show.
Charlotte, the fourth in line to the throne behind her grandfather, dad, and brother Prince George, has already made the world collectively aww on more than one occasion with her penchant for waving at big events like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding or on the Buckingham Palace balcony during Trooping the Colour. She even gave a friendly hello to photographers gathered outside the hospital as she arrived to meet Prince Louis for the first time:
But yesterday, July 9, she wasn’t so keen on the reporters and photographers documenting her brother’s christening. As Princess Charlotte left the chapel with her parents, she was overheard telling them, “You’re not coming.” (The family was headed back home for a private tea with their guests.)
That’s some serious toddler sass—and we are here for it. We also love that sly smile that Prince William gives his daughter after her comments indicating this isn’t the first time Charlotte’s spoken her mind.
And who can blame her? It must be incredibly odd for a young child to have every public outing your family takes surrounded by a throng of people with cameras. Hell, it’s probably still pretty crazy for her Aunt Meghan too—and she’s 36. So just keep doing you, Charlotte. I think you’ll be just fine.
Well, the rumors are true: Hailey Baldwin and Justin Bieber really are engaged. Reports surfaced over the weekend that Bieber proposed to Baldwin while in the Bahamas; soon after, his father maybe-kinda confirmed the news with an Instagram post telling his son that he’s “proud” and “excited for the next chapter.” But no need to second guess now because Bieber and Baldwin have just confirmed themselves.
Baldwin kept it simple with a tweet, writing, “Not sure what I did in life to deserve such happiness but I am so utterly grateful to God for giving me such an incredible person to share my life with! No words could ever express my gratitude.”
Bieber, meanwhile, posted a cute photo of the two snuggling on Instagram with a long, gushing caption about their relationship.
“Was gonna wait a while to say anything but word travels fast,” the singer wrote on Instagram today (July 9). “Listen plain and simple Hailey I am soooo in love with everything about you! So committed to spending my life getting to know every single part of you loving you patiently and kindLY. I promise to lead our family with honor and integrity letting Jesus through his Holy Spirit guide us in everything we do and every decision we make.”
“My heart is COMPLETELY and FULLY YOURS and I will ALWAYS put you first,” he continued. “You are the love of my life Hailey Baldwin and I wouldn’t want to spend it with anybody else. You make me so much better and we compliment each other so well!! Can’t wait for the best season of life yet!. It’s funny because now with you everything seems to make sense! The thing I am most excited for is that my little brother and sister get to see another healthy stable marriage and look for the same!!!”
He also commented on the timing of the proposal, writing, “Gods timing really is literally perfect, we got engaged on the seventh day of the seventh month, the number seven is the number of spiritual perfection, it’s true GOOGLE IT! Isn’t that nuts? By the way I didn’t plan that, anyways My goodness does feel good to have our future secured! WERE GONNA VE BETTER AT 70 BABY HERE WE GO! ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains FAVOR from the Lord!’ This is the year of favor!!!!”
See the post, below:
Bieber may not have planned for this proposal to be on a day of “spiritual perfection,” but he did predict their marriage two years ago: Back in 2016, the singer told GQ that he wanted their relationship to be pure. “I don’t want to put anyone in a position where they feel like I’m only theirs, only to be hurt in the end,” he told the magazine. “Right now in my life, I don’t want to be held down by anything. … I don’t want to feel like the girl I love is an added responsibility. I know that in the past I’ve hurt people and said things that I didn’t mean to make them happy in the moment. So now I’m just more so looking at the future, making sure I’m not damaging them. What if Hailey ends up being the girl I’m gonna marry, right? If I rush into anything, if I damage her, then it’s always gonna be damaged. It’s really hard to fix wounds like that. It’s so hard.… I just don’t want to hurt her.”
It seems like every few months, there’s a new aspect of Friends to discuss, like when we learned why all the walls were purple in Monica’s apartment. Or that we’ve been singing the wrong lyrics to the theme song this whole time. But one thing that hasn’t been explored yet? All the books read in the hit ’90s show—and what they mean for the characters.
The books that the crew—yes, including Joey—choose have a lot of significance, once you start digging. Some serve as a subtle insight into the character’s mindset at the time (see: the irony of Ross reading The Idiot). Others move the plot forward, like a birthday gift Chandler buys for Joey’s girlfriend because he has feelings for her. A few notable ones even foreshadow events to come. They all, however, show us something deeper about Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica.
But before we begin, a disclaimer: We didn’t include newspapers, magazines, or any books that are hanging out in the background at Central Perk. We’re talking strictly about books that the characters really read in an episode. So, for example, even though we saw the section where Ross’ dissertation lives in the library, no one ever actually reads it. Plenty of people have made out in front of it, though.
Presenting: The One With All The Books.
Season 1, Episode 9: “The One Where Underdog Gets Away”
Susan, the partner of Ross’ ex-wife Carole, reads this classic children’s tale to their unborn baby. The story’s all about the unpredictable force that comes with being in power. Yertle’s the king of the pond who perches on top of a stack of his turtle subjects, so that he can better see his kingdom. But one of the turtles, Mack, burps and Yertle’s knocked off his throne, leaving Mack as the new king. At the time of its publication, this was undoubtedly a comment on classism. But in this context, the story of the new hot turtle in town feels like a subtle address of the fact that the show totally recast Carol in this episode. (The original actress, Anita Barone, was replaced by Jane Sibbett.)
Season 1, Episode 11: “The One With Mrs. Bing”
Euphoria Unbound by Nora Bing
Unfortunately, this book doesn’t exist IRL. But Nora’s erotica novel does inspire Rachel to write her own sexy book, the first chapter of which appears at the end of the episode. And since this takes place a few episodes after Rachel begins her love affair with Paolo, we can understand the true meaning of this book to be just another cold reminder to Ross that Rachel is shacking up with another dude.
Season 1, Episode 12: “The One With The Dozen Lasagnas”
The Birth Book: Everything You Need To Know To Have A Safe And Satisfying Birth by William Sears and Martha Sears
Ross is preparing to be a father—and like anyone who can’t get enough of academia, he’s got a bag full of books to get him ready. Though there are several titles, the one we can see clearly is The Birth Book. It’s fitting that he’s most involved in a book co-written by two people, because it reminds us that Susan and Carol will be raising the baby as co-parents, and Ross is the third wheel.
Season 1, Episode 24: “The One Where Rachel Finds Out”
Oh, The Places You’ll Go! By Dr. Seuss
Rachel receives this book from Joey as a birthday present. Joey explains that the book—typically reserved for graduations—got him through some hard times. But what about the places Rachel might go? Um, how about TO THE AIRPORT TO TELL ROSS SHE LOVES HIM? Because that is what she does minutes later, when Chandler accidentally reveals Ross’ feelings.
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Season 2, Episode 3: “The One Where Heckles Dies”
My Big Book Of Grievances by Mr. Heckles
Before Mean Girls gave us The Burn Book, we had Mr. Heckles keeping scathing tabs on the gang. The purpose of this book—and just about everything else we find in Heckles’ apartment—is to give Chandler a Scrooge treatment, to show him what’s to come if he continues on this path. But this book is really about grievances, which sets us up for the first big fight between the friends two episodes later, when Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey complain they don’t make enough money to do all the things Chandler, Monica, and Ross suggest.
Season 2, Episode 19: “The One Where Eddie Won’t Go”
Be Your Own Windkeeper
Phoebe and Monica introduce Rachel to this new self-help book, which, unfortunately, isn’t real outside of the Friends universe. What is real, though, are the book’s sentiments of being a wind goddess and not letting men drink from the pool of your inner power. Perhaps it’s the empowerment of this fake book that bolsters Rachel’s sense of self and gets her to sing “Copacabana” at Barry and Mindy’s wedding just a few episodes later.
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Season 3, Episode 1: “The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy”
For the most part, we haven’t included the art books hanging around the Central Perk that nobody reads. But in this case, we can see clearly that Chandler’s spending time with one about fish. Perhaps this is because Janice has made one of her (many) re-entries into his life and Chandler is, um, on the hook? On Janice’s hook. OK, work with us here.
Sure, this episode is mostly about Monica using a jam-making project to distract her from being sad about Richard, but it’s also the episode where Ross teaches Chandler how to do the hug-and-roll to get more space sleeping next to Janice. At first, it can seem like Chandler reading a book about being alone for a hundred years sets up the idea that he’s just trying to get some space from Janice. But the book isn’t called 6-8 Hours Of Solitude—it’s a century. As in, Chandler is still so undateable at this point in time he will almost certainly be alone for the next hundred years.
Season 3, Episode 12: “The One With All The Jealousy”
Monica’s wrapping up a shift as the fake boob-wearing chef in the ‘50s diner as the sexy busboy Julio reads this book of fancy erotic poetry. This lays the groundwork for Julio to write his poem “The Empty Vase” about Monica, but it also allows lyricism to play a central theme in the episode, like when Monica hires the barbershop quartet to publicly dump Julio with song.
Season 3, Episode 13: “The One Where Monica And Richard Are Just Friends”
This might seem like some cute little book swap between Joey and Rachel, but here’s the truth: Just three episodes prior, Joey tells Rachel she needs to quit her job at the Central Perk to get “the fear.” In other words, to put herself in a position where she has nothing to fall back on, and she’s forced to pursue her career in fashion. What better way to get “the fear” than by reading one of the scariest books of all time? As for Joey reading Little Women, he ultimately finds it too sad and scary and wants to put it in the freezer. And since any insight into the actual thoughts and feelings of women would counteract the code by which Joey lives, of course he wants to hide it away.
Meanwhile, on the more serious side, Ross is reading the iconic Studs Terkel book about race while sitting at the Central Perk—before he and Chandler notice Phoebe’s current boyfriend is wearing gym shorts that show his junk.
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Season 3, Episode 14: “The One With Phoebe’s Ex-Partner”
Rachel and Ross are in bed, and Ross is reading The Idiot while arguing that it’s inappropriate for Rachel to go to a fashion lecture with her colleague Mark. So, Ross commits to going with Rachel to eliminate Mark from the outing. The takeaway here: Ross is an actual idiot.
When Rachel learns Ross is bringing a date to see Joey’s new play, she scrambles to find one too. No wonder she’s reading a classic book about rekindling a love life when the episode opens.
Meanwhile, Chandler’s reading The Bear Went Over The Mountain. This one’s got all the appeal of a kid’s book trapped in the body of an adult novel. If that isn’t Chandler, I don’t know what is.
Everyone’s out in Montauk to join Phoebe as she meets the woman who turns out to be her birth mother. And by everyone, we mean Ross has brought his new girlfriend, Bonnie, along. Rachel doesn’t love this—and while she’s reading this Didion novel, Bonnie complains that her long hair is too tough for the beach. So much sand! Rachel incepts Bonnie into shaving her head…and you might say that’s the last thing Ross wanted.
Season 4, Episode 1: “The One With The Jellyfish”
“Does It?” By Rachel Karen Green
The letter Rachel wrote Ross, which we may as well title “Does It?” in honor of the ultimate question at hand, is 18 pages front and back—it might as well count as a short book. It was a list of Rachel’s shortcomings that first undid this couple, so it’s natural that a written document brings them back together.
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Season 4, Episode 3: “The One With The Cuffs”
“V” Volume, The Encyclopedia
Joey purchases the single volume of “V” from the encyclopedia salesman. Why is this significant? Well, despite all the entries under “V,” Joey still has no concept of the timeless The Velveteen Rabbit, which comes into play three episodes later.
Season 4, Episode 5: “The One With Joey’s New Girlfriend”
This is at a time when Ross and Rachel have moved beyond the discomfort of being exes in the same room and are in a full-on rivalry to show off their new dates in front of each other. Rachel’s reading Anthem, a dystopian book about socialism, at the Central Perk when Ross tosses a napkin with a woman’s phone number in her face. Rachel’s reading this book to suggest she’s far too mature to play into Ross’ games, but when she starts dating an NYU student we see she really was paying attention to Ross’ antics—and proving that no one ever really reads that book.
Season 4, Episode 6: “The One With The Dirty Girl”
Chandler goes through a lot of trouble to get this book as a gift for Kathy, Joey’s girlfriend that he has feelings for, but ultimately tells her it’s from Joey. The story’s about a rabbit toy who becomes real thanks to the love of a child. So maybe we could say it’s like Kathy is the rabbit, who becomes a real romantic interest for Chandler, thanks to the love of a child (Joey).
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Season 4, Episode 13: “The One With Rachel’s Crush”
In the previous episode, Phoebe agreed to be a surrogate for Frank and Alice. In “The One With Rachel’s Crush,” she picks up *What to Expect When You’re Expecting” to, well, learn what to expect. And while this book allegedly covers everything Phoebe needs to know about her pregnancy, it didn’t include one thing that truly shocked her: that she’d want to eat meat. (Note: Joey also reads this book in season eight to prep for Rachel’s baby.)
Season 4, Episode 15: “The One With All The Rugby”
Monica and Rachel have lost their apartment to Chandler and Joey after a wild game of trivia, and Monica cannot rest until she knows the function of the switch near the door in her new apartment. She’s reading this book and sipping a glass of wine when Rachel comes home to find that the woman reading about a hole in the head has also left 7-10 actual holes in the wall and floor, having tried to locate the wiring for the switch.
Season 4, Episode 18: “The One With Rachel’s New Dress”
Phoebe is naming one of the triplets and trying to decide what to choose. Of course, the idea of choosing a name isn’t just for the baby; several episodes later, Phoebe reveals for the first time her alter ego: Regina Phalange.
Season 4, Episode 21: “The One With The Invitation”
Chandler’s reading this book to prep for the big trip to London for Ross and Emily’s wedding. But why is Chandler the only one reading about the British city? Maybe the book is foreshadowing that he’ll access a lot more than he bargained for in London…like Monica.
Season 5, Episode 7: “The One Where Ross Moves In”
Monica’s reading this book at the Central Perk while Rachel sees Danny (the yeti) carrying a box of liquor. He says he’s having a party, and Rachel launches into an episode-long sports analogy about the politics of dating that never really reaches its conclusion. The ball’s in whose court? We don’t know. But Rachel’s wild musings about her non-relationship with Danny are juxtaposed with a practical guide to dating.
Season 5, Episode 9: “The One With Ross’ Sandwich”
Rachel and Phoebe are taking a literature class together, but Rachel isn’t really reading the books. If Wuthering Heights is about how destructive jealousy and revenge can be, and Jane Eyre is about the evolution of a character, then it’s safe to say that both literary themes are applied to the main plot of this episode, which is that Ross loses his shit over someone eating his sandwich and is forced to take leave from work.
Season 5, Episode 17: “The One With Rachel’s Inadvertent Kiss”
Monica’s reading this book at her apartment, but the book is really a foreshadowing of what’s going to happen with Phoebe. In this episode, Phoebe meets Gary, the cop whose badge she found at the coffee shop, and they start dating. Just four episodes later, Phoebe dumps him after he literally shoots a bird.
Season 5, Episode 22: “The One With Joey’s Big Break”
Ross is reading this classic tale of self-discovery in the episode before he goes to Vegas and drunkenly marries Rachel. The book’s central message is about following your dreams—which is perhaps what convinces him to lie to Rachel and not get their marriage annulled so he can realize his dream of not getting divorced for once.
Season 6, Episode 2: “The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel”
Does this book seem familiar? It’s the book Rachel’s reading when Monica tells her Chandler’s moving in and Rachel must move out. It’s also the same book Monica reads back in season four, when she and Rachel lose their apartment. How fitting that Rachel’s reading this book when she’s about to lose her apartment again.
Season 6, Episode 13: “The One With Rachel’s Sister”
Rachel’s sister Jill, played by Reese Witherspoon, is in town, and Phoebe tells Rachel she senses a spark between Jill and Ross. Rachel puts on a faux maturity about it and mistakenly convinces Jill to go out with Ross. All while reading The Art Of Happiness, which we can only assume she was staring at, fuming, and not actually reading.
Meanwhile, Monica is sick but trying to convince Chandler she’s not. In fact, she could really go for some sex. So though Chander is the one reading Rebuilding The Indian, a story of a man rebuilding a motorcycle and rebuilding his life, it seems Monica’s the one on a quest. With a little bit of Vapor Rub, she does succeed in getting Chandler into bed.
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Season 6, Episode 14: “The One Where Chandler Can’t Cry”
In the previous episode, Chandler is trying to take care of Monica while she’s sick. In this episode, it’s Chandler who needs the proverbial chicken soup. Of course, it’s not the gut-wrenching tales of humanity that break Chandler in the end—it’s that Ross and Rachel just can’t work things out.
Season 7, Episode 15: “The One With Joey’s New Brain”
Why is Ross reading a book about Beethoven? Probably because it’s the episode where he’s preparing to play the bagpipes at Chandler and Monica’s wedding. He’s getting in touch with his musical side! And as for the “mystery solved?” Well, thanks to Ross’ inability to be subtle, ever, we know he’s preparing the song “Celebration.”
Though Ross is reading a book called Dutch For Beginners in this episode, there’s no exact version of this book in real life. However, you can absolutely find Rachel’s book, The Girlfriend’s Guide To Pregnancy. In this episode, Rachel’s reading it when Joey asks her to keep living with him when the baby comes. If you think about it, Joey has the perfect apartment to raise a baby. We’re talking about a place where if you spill spaghetti on the floor, you just leave it. That’s the entirety of Joey’s guide to pregnancy.
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Season 8, Episode 10: “The One With Monica’s Boots”
Joey’s sister Dina is pregnant and reading this book, but Dina’s not the dummy. That title belongs, as always, to Joey as Rachel has to educate him on how hypocritical it is to think Dina’s not ready to have a baby on her own.
Season 8, Episode 11: “The One With The Creepy Holiday Card”
Ross can’t get enough of this author, and how “Ross” is it to be reading a book about death? He’s looking at it when Mona asks him to send out a holiday card together, and he immediately realizes he’s made a mistake in their relationship. Of course, when we consider the question “Will the circle be unbroken?” we can only assume that for Ross it means will his never-ending circle of bad relationships ever end?
365 Things combines the elements of motherhood with the appeal of prayer. The New Mom’s Manual provides over 800 tips from almost as many moms. The only thing that will get Emma to stop crying, though, is Monica’s embrace. This is a nice change of pace from the earlier seasons, when Ben would cry only when he was near Monica. So while these books appear to be intended for Rachel, they’re actually setting up the idea of Monica as a mother, which happens later in the series.
Season 9, Episode 15: “The One With The Mugging”
Science Boy by Ross Geller
Another book that exists only in the Friends universe, Science Boy plays an important role. A teenaged Phoebe mugged a teenaged Ross, way before they knew each other. When Ross bemoans the mugging as the loss of his original artwork for Science Boy, Phoebe recalls keeping it and returns it to Ross. This is major, because it shows that Ross at an early age chose science as his career.
There are several books read at Emma’s first birthday. Riding The Storm Out: Coping With Postpartum Depression and Sex And The Single Mother aren’t real, but Love You Forever sure is. And it’s interesting that Joey reads this book aloud, just a few episodes after kissing Rachel.
Season 10, Episode 13: “The One Where Joey Speaks French”
Essential French
Like Ross’ Dutch For Beginners, there’s no exact version of Joey’s book. Though Joey learns French for an audition, the book here foreshadows one of the final moments of the series: Rachel preparing to move to Paris. It’s safe to assume that Joey still knows all the French pickup lines.
