Tag: Mom

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The #1 Beauty Secret Sailor Brinkley-Cook Learned From Her Mom


Screw, marry, kill: mascara, lipstick, highlighter.

Um, screw highlighter. Because highlighter is important and I love it, but I don’t think I want to marry it. I’ll get down with some highlighter. Marry mascara because I have blond lashes, so putting on some mascara changes the game for me. I love Milk Makeup’s Kush Mascara. It feels natural and doesn’t go on too chunky, which is awesome. I hate when it feels like hairspray on your lashes. Then kill lipstick. I never wear lipstick. I’m a lip gloss gal. There are so many I like, but I love the Glossier one. It doesn’t have much color but it makes your lips look plump.

What’s your favorite emoji?

I love the yellow heart, honestly. It’s soft and not as aggressive as the red heart, but it’s like, “Love you, girl ?” or “Thank you ?.” I think it just works.

I get that. It’s not as romantic…

Yeah. I’m not like, I love you, but I’m like, love ya. It’s that vibe.

It’s amazing that a color can totally change the meaning.

Yellow heart, man.

You said you’re a drugstore girl, so this is going to be fun. You’ve got $20 and free roam of a drugstore. What do you buy?

CeraVe for sure. I love its oil-free moisturizer. It has hyaluronic acid in it, which is awesome. Then I’d say some Neutrogena Makeup Wipes, some Really Red Essie Nail Polish—because why not?—and finally, Aquaphor chapstick. Literally, that’s what’s in my bag right now.

Neutrogena Makeup Remover Cleansing Towelettes

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If you could change one thing about beauty perceptions, what would it be?

I hate that we’re all so judgmental about everyone’s beauty. I know that a part of this [Hollywood] world is about critiques and judging—and, you know, those red carpet shows that are like who wore it better? Did she rock this or did she not? But I know what it’s like to go on a red carpet and put yourself out there. To choose a dress and choose your hair and makeup, and then finally have it all come together and be like, “Oh, I feel great,” only to have people say you looked bad or say that it “didn’t work.” I think that’s annoying and lame. We should cut that out. Because if you’re going out in whatever you look like, you feel good. Most of the time you’re not leaving the house thinking, “Oh, I look terrible. I shouldn’t have worn this.”



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This Mom Has Terminal Breast Cancer, But She’s Still Fighting for Her Kids


My first diagnosis was stage IIIC breast cancer, which is as close as you can get to stage IV without actually being stage IV, which is terminal. At that point, IIIC, you’re still considered curable.

My oncologist told me that I had triple-negative breast cancer, which can be more aggressive and more difficult to treat than other forms of breast cancer. (Triple-negative breast cancer doesn’t respond to some common breast-cancer treatments, such as hormone therapy.)

I went through chemotherapy and then had a double mastectomy in May of 2018. The lump was in one breast, but I felt like I would always worry that we’d missed something if I hadn’t had both removed. I have three sons—now 12, 13 and 16—and every step of the way, I’ve wanted to do whatever I could to heal myself and be here for them.

I made the most of my (bald) 44th birthday.

Courtesy of Shumanay Lowry. 

The mastectomy was followed by a second round of chemotherapy, which was followed by radiation. And then my oncologist said, “You’ve done all the treatment that’s reasonable at this point. Now you need to go back to your normal life and watch for any symptoms. We’ll check you out every three to six months.”

After recovering from the radiation I went back to work the first week in December. I worked for a month and then was diagnosed with stage IV cancer the first week of January.

The cancer had metastasized to my liver and lungs. I did even more chemotherapy, but a follow-up scan showed that the tumor in my liver had doubled in size in the three months since my last scan. Following treatment, some tumors will shrink or disappear. The 14-centimeter tumor in my liver didn’t react that way; it’s there, not getting smaller. There really isn’t much room left in my liver. For now, my best-case scenario is that the cancer doesn’t spread further.

It was really hard to tell my kids. I’ve always wanted to be really honest with them. I was honest about what I had and that it was serious. They’re old enough that they can do their own research. There was no point in trying to mislead them from the beginning. Also, I tried to be lighthearted.

My eldest son has thanked me a couple of times for handling things so well. He feels like the fact that I’m not complaining a lot or acting down or sad or depressed has been really helpful. I really try to stay positive and make the most out of all the moments that I still do have with them.

It was hard for them to see me go bald again. Having my hair grow back was a big milestone for my kids. My youngest, especially was so excited when my hair started to grow back. He would measure it and rub my head—he really celebrated me starting to look more normal again.



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An Ode to Mom Jeans, the Best Jeans There Ever Were


For a few years in my early twenties, I was a Jean Expert™. I worked at American Eagle in my hometown mall and was an enthusiastic participant in the store’s mandatory denim training. Around the fall of 2008, the chain embraced the resurrection of skinny jeans, and as a wee baby hipster determined to differentiate herself from anyone still savoring super low-rise bootcut, I saw them as liberation from “the mainstream.” Never mind that they were available everywhere. To me, skinny jeans equated freedom. Which was ironic, because they felt anything but. Until I met Mom Jeans.

The first time I saw super-high-rise jeans—specifically, my best friend’s pair of Cheap Mondays—I was as shocked as I was intrigued. I immediately bought a pair. Unlike their low-rise counterparts, they highlighted the parts of myself I’d come to believe should be strategically covered in billowy tank tops or several polos worn simultaneously, lest my body look imperfect. I’d wear them with plain crew neck t-shirts and scarves or big, baggy sweaters. I wanted to show off how interesting and different I was, both in my penchant for vintage but also in my rejection of the trends of the moment. These jeans let me do that.

Sure, millions of other people were wearing their denim high (and had never actually stopped). But these jeans made me feel special. I was a Denim Expert who rejected regular-old skinnies in favor of Mom Jeans, and that made me unique.

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I know now, of course that I absolutely wasn’t. And about a decade after their introduction to the mainstream, Mom Jeans have nestled their way into our hearts and closets, evolving from a derogatory nickname reserved to a bona fide trend. (My old employer even has a whole section dedicated to them.) They now have straighter, roomier legs—thank heavens—that seem concerned with comfort over everything else Which suits me just fine: As a now 34-year-old woman who wants nothing more than to pour herself into a denim sack every morning out of sheer laziness, the embrace of Mom Jeans has helped cultivate the illusion of having style, despite really just wanting to dress like Sabrina Spellman circa 1996.

The thing is, as much as I loved the idea of a high-rise skinny, I was never (and still am not) totally comfortable wearing it. To wiggle into jeans that are super-tight, that require maneuvering, that midday can make you want to abandon them completely for jogging pants or paper bag isn’t exactly a dream. Yes, it felt cool not to worry about showing your underwear off if you so much bent down to tie your shoe, as would happen with a super low-rise, but it’s even cooler to feel like you’re cheating—like your high rise and billowy legs symbolize a dedication to fashion over your allegiance to absolute comfort. And to be honest, I’ve never felt better.



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As an Adoptive Mom, I Have Complicated Feelings About The Handmaid's Tale


My daughter is the best thing to happen to me. Six years later, I’m convinced she’s the reason I went through all the rest: because I was always meant to be her mother. But our once-very open adoption has dwindled over the years, mostly because her other mama has pulled away from us. I think it’s been hard for her, watching another woman raise her child. Even though this is what she chose—even though this baby was never stolen from her like they are in Gilead—I think the pain of being separated from the child she grew and loved has slowly made seeing us something she’d rather avoid. That pain she feels juxtaposed against the joy I experience with motherhood is a dichotomy I have trouble facing.

This most recent season of The Handmaid’s Tale has brought up these gut-check moments even more. That’s not just because of Serena: We’ve also been given insight into Mrs. Mackenzie (Amy Landecker), the woman raising June’s other daughter, Hannah. We don’t know much about Mrs. Mackenzie, just that she’s also a Commander’s wife who was given Hannah after June became a Handmaid. The interaction in the season three premiere between Mrs. Mackenzie and June, who both clearly love Hannah, gutted me. Mrs. Mackenzie said things I could picture myself saying (or at least thinking).

“This has to stop,” she says to June, speaking of her continued efforts to see Hannah. “You brought our child into the world. The Commander and I bless you for that. God knows.”

“I’m her mother,” Mrs. Mackenzie continues. When June flinches at that, Mrs. Mackenzie takes a breath and says, “You’re being cruel, confusing her like this.” “I’m confusing her?” June challenges.

It’s a poignant moment: both women standing their ground. Both clearly believing they are the ones doing right by this child. And while as the audience, we can see that June is the one who’s right, I could still see myself in Mrs. Mackenzie.

It made me wonder: When it comes to my daughter’s adoption, am I the one who knows what’s best?

June in The Handmaid’s Tale.

George Kraychyk/Hulu

I think so. I believe so. And watching that interaction on The Handmaid’s Tale, I also believe Mrs. Mackenzie thinks the same. There’s this moment, after the two women find common ground in sharing what they know about Hannah, where June concedes. “I appreciate the home you’ve made for her,” she tells Mrs. Mackenzie. Because it is a good home. Because her little girl is clearly loved. Because it could be so much worse. My daughter’s other mother has said the same to me more than once.



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Lash Extensions Make Me a Better Mom


I am not a morning person. Against my will, I peel my eyes open to the sound of a very energetic baby then drag myself to the bathroom to hastily wipe my face. I throw on a black top and leggings and call it a day.

I never expected my routine to be like this. I grew up idolizing the 13 Going on 30 mantra “thirty, flirty, and thriving.” Like Jennifer Garner in the film, I thought adulthood would be glamorous. I’d wake up early to waltz into a steamy shower, carefully apply a full face of makeup, and craft a meticulously put-together outfit built on the foundation of chic lingerie.

By my late twenties, it became increasingly clear that this morning routine just wasn’t going to happen for me. A perpetual late riser, I would get ready at my own pace, slowly sipping on an espresso, checking my e-mail, and putting on makeup when and if I wanted. Being a freelance writer afforded me the luxury of time, and I always felt well-rested.

But everything changed when I became a mother at 29. Like every mom knows, your sleep is the first thing to go. Instead of getting up when my body felt ready, the baby’s incessant cry woke me up at 4:30 A.M. Rather than making an espresso for myself, I was trying not to fall asleep while feeding the baby. Motherhood forced me to become an early riser and my self-care habits crumbled. Suddenly it felt like my life was about taking care of everyone but myself.

As the days counted down to my 30th birthday, “flirty and thriving” felt maybe like a bit of an oversell, but prioritizing myself more felt within reach. I always believed in looking good to feel good, but with fatigue and an over-packed schedule, it’d been a while since I really put the time into how I looked.

I was starting to feel insecure. All these other women were managing to raise children and run families with blown-out hair and perfect brows, why couldn’t I? Seeing polished moms in heels strutting around the mall with their strollers made me feel like I was failing at motherhood, like I was letting myself down. The mom pressure to “do it all” was ridiculous: it wasn’t enough that I was keeping a tiny human alive and safe, I felt like I also needed to always look like the best-dressed version of myself.

On those rare days when I did have 30 minutes to myself, my confidence progressively grew during the course of my beauty routine. Nearly in zen mode, I massaged in my tinted moisturizer, puffed on a bit of powder, dotted on blush, and finished my routine off with the power duo of eyeliner and mascara. Typically critical of my appearance, I liked the way makeup gave my eyes dimension. I looked into my own eyes and felt powerful, poised. I decided that my 30th birthday gift to myself would be a semi-permanent version of this look and feeling. I held my breath as I booked an appointment to get eyelash extensions.

Me, with my son, Maximillian, before my lash extensions

On the morning of my birthday, I walked into a chilled studio, took off my shoes, and laid on the table covered by a fuzzy blanket. I was told to close my eyes. And then I didn’t open them again for two and a half hours. As a chronic multitasker, my hands itched to scroll through my phone to add to my to-do list, text my husband to remind him to re-stock on formula, and research how to get my baby to sleep through the night. I was hostage to the process.



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Here's What Meghan Markle's Friends Think She'll Be Like as a Mom


It was only a little less than two weeks ago that Meghan Markle gave birth to her first child, Archie, but already her friends are sharing what they think she’ll be like as a mom. Spoiler: She’s going to be great.

In the new CBS special, Meghan and Harry Plus One, Gayle King spoke to Markle’s close friend—and wedding-day makeup artist—Daniel Martin and fellow actress Janina Gavankar about the duchess’s parenting style, among other things. (Buckingham Palace released a rare statement about the special saying, “The Duchess has not had any involvement in the CBS special, nor has she requested or given permission to friends to participate.”)

Gavankar thinks, in many ways, the Duchess of Sussex will be like all the other doting new moms out there. “She’s gonna be such a good mother,” she said. “I think she’ll be very low maintenance, very hands-on. The way she would have been if she hadn’t married into the royal family.” However, she also believes Markle will “run a tight ship.”

WPA Pool

“Parenting is difficult in the beginning, but I feel like they got this,” Martin told King. “They’re ready for this…there’s just gonna be so much love for that baby. I feel like Meghan and H are really going to keep this kid real.”

It also seems like Markle’s foodie nature and California roots will come into play as she and Harry raise Archie “with lots of healthy home-cooked meals, no doubt,” Martin said. “I’m sure the baby’s gonna be raised, like … definitely clean and green. She loves to cook … eating organic whenever she can.” He also says he wouldn’t be surprised if the duchess makes her own baby food. (If only she could still post recipes on The Tig!)

As for new dad Prince Harry? “He’s so good with kids … even when they were doing the family portrait after the wedding with everybody, he was on the floor, just playing with the kids,” Martin adds. “And that’s when I knew, like, he’s gonna be the coolest dad.”

It sounds like baby Archie is in very capable hands indeed.



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