There is a very special place in hell for any and all walking shoes that give you blisters—which, unfortunately, is most of them. There’s nothing more frustrating than getting overly excited about the first really nice day, throwing on a pair of innocent-looking sandals, and going outside… only to have your outing cut short by your incredibly uncomfortable footwear. You’ve waited so long to bask in the good weather and be free from the constraints of boots. You can’t have your sandals holding you back.
Designers get it. Phoebe Philo got it when she helped bring back Birkenstocks. Sandy Liang, Marni, Louis Vuitton, Prada, and Gucci all got it when they sent Teva-esque sandals down their runways. And Glamour editors definitely get it: We love a good trend, but we also love to be comfortable—and because most of us are based in New York, we walk most places, which makes walking sandals an absolute essential.
In the spirit of sharing knowledge (and comfort) this season, we had nine staffers reveal their picks for the absolute best walking sandals, from brands like Camper, Clarks, YSL, and more.
The first time I learned what Tevas were was the first (and last) time I went hiking. The brand is known for making the most comfortable walking sandals, but they’re typically used for adventuring, not for walking to and from the subway—which, as someone who was born and raised in New York City, is about as much experience as I have with trekking.
I was crying in front of a waterfall as my boyfriend tried to comfort me while strangers looked on. Some might have mistaken these stranger’s concern for empathy, but I saw it for what it really was, the prolonged stare of someone who thinks you are definitely an idiot. They’re not wrong. My boyfriend and I struggled to maintain our balance on a slippery rock while wearing Converse, metallic jackets, and at least five other items of impractical clothing (I still had my hoops in).
As I eventually made my way down the path and looked onto a sign advising us to “be careful” because “deaths have occurred here” (yes, that is what the sign actually said), I saw that everyone around us was wearing the comfortable sandals I’d later come to find were Tevas. (Fun fact: they’re technically made to stop your sandals from floating downstream; that’s why they’ve got Velcro straps.)
The second time I saw Tevas was during Fashion Week last season. Every single model at downtown designer Sandy Liang’s Spring/Summer 2019 presentation was wearing a pair with plain white crew socks, regardless of whatever else they were wearing. Considering their origins, Fashion Week was the last place I expected to see them. But I couldn’t deny that they looked good with all of Liang’s designs, from her denim to her ruffled dresses.
And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to even consider buying a pair. Who was I, someone who hikes in hoops and calls nature “the nature,” to wear shoes that represent everything I am not? I’m not adventurous, the thought of hiking still brings tears to my eyes, and I like being the person who always wears shoes that make people ask “why those?!” I am impractical and nature averse, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Tevas.
Maybe it’s because they’re everywhere. Tevas were also seen on the Marni, Louis Vuitton, and Prada runways. Gucci has a pair of jewel encrusted teva-esque sandals that’ll cost you over $1,000. Anna Sui and Opening Ceremony have both collaborated with Tevas for a fun take on the comfortable walking sandals that often involves a platform flatform.
Tevas even have international appeal! Suicoke, a brand that also makes velcro strap sandals, collaborated with Danish designer Cecilie Bahnsen for her show at Copenhagen Fashion Week. Tevas have celebrity appeal! Tyler The Creator, Alexa Chung, and Bella Hadid have all been seen wearing them. Tevas are low fashion! Tevas are high fashion! Tevas can do it all.
Usually when the weather gets nice enough to wear sandals, I opt for a pair that are pretty—period. That’s the only requirement. I don’t care about anything else. But this year, for the first time I think ever, I opted for comfortable walking sandals instead. Sure, they’ll come in handy the next time I go hiking (which, if I’m being real with myself, is probably never), but I’m more interested in how they’ll look great with all the ruffled dresses I plan on wearing. I’m sure hikers will still think I look like an idiot, but this time, the joke’s on them.
The beginning of fall might herald the return of pumpkin spice lattes and cozy sweaters, but it also signifies the countdown to the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. With T-minus two-ish months until the big event—it usually films at the end of November, though no official date has been announced—models have begun taking to Instagram to confirm their casting as models in the iconic show.
While we can’t yet say for sure yet if some of the star-powered angels from the past—like Gigi and Bella Hadid, Martha Hunt, and Karlie Kloss—will be strutting their stuff on this year’s runway, Victoria’s Secret has confirmed a number of models who will be making an appearance in the show. Forever favorites, like Devon Windsor and Herieth Paul, will be donning their wings this year, as well as a number of new faces. For many of them, this is a lifelong dream come true, which means there’s no shortage of adorable videos on Instagram of their reactions to the news.
Winnie Harlow
“I had a break down before i walked into the most nerve wrecking casting of my life. I asked my driver to go around the block twice before i could walk into the @VictoriasSecret offices so i could re coup, and remember (while my trainer @bodybymato reminded me on the phone through sobs – thank you lol) how hard I’ve been working! I went in and made new friends and saw old friends and it already felt like home! We patiently waited while @ed_razek @johndavidpfeiffer @monica.mitro @10magazine carefully took time to get to know each girl. When it was finally my time, within my nervous storm of anticipation i changed into a black Victoria Secret set and stepped out!!!! I spoke to them about Jamaica, Nick Knight, my abs, and how i was beyond honoured to be given the opportunity to try out.. then I walked for my life!!!! I can’t believe this!! Thank you for giving me all the energy and kindness in that room! Thank you for allowing me to walk for VICTORIA’S SECRET Thank you to my agencies @firstaccessent @womenmanagementnyc @women_paris @thesquadmanagement my pr @remibrb my agent @mannyuk and mama bears #sarahstennett & @thelilmisse for having my back supporting and believing in me! I love you guys you’re FAMILY!! Thank you mommy for praying with me everyday for the past 3 days. And thank you so much to my fans who have been pushing me forward to this point in my career. I’m so blessed thank you Lord!! IM WALKING THE VICTORIA’S SECRET SHOW! Thank you @voguemagazine for the exclusive interview ?????”
Herieth Paul
PHOTO: Matt Winkelmeyer
“I watched my first vs show when I was 13 years old. I am so beyond excited to be walking my third @victoriassecret fashion showI am so grateful for this opportunity,” she wrote on Instagram. “Thank you @johndavidpfeiffer @monica.mitro @10magazine @ed_razek1 and my amazing team @womenmanagementny @angiesmodels Ya’ll dreams do come true ❤️ #3”
Grace Bol
“Happy to be back @victoriassecret #victoriafashionshow @ed_razek @monica.mitro @10magazine @johndavidpfeiffer Thank You…♥️?”
Sadie Newman
PHOTO: Gotham
“I am so excitedhappyproudemotional to announce that I am going to be in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show!!!!!,” She shared in an Instagram post. “10 years modeling and this has always been a dream of mine AND I DID IT. Keep grindin’ and being kind ?So much love to @luke_simone and @women360mgmt who put up with me being an emotional wreck. THANK YOU SO MUCH to @ed_razek, @johndavidpfeiffer, @monica.mitro and @10magazine for giving me this opportunity, I won’t let you down. ?❤️?❤️?❤️?❤️LESGOOOOOO #VSfashionshow”
Georgia Fowler
PHOTO: FRED DUFOUR
“When you get the call that it’s going to be round three! ?,” she captioned her celebratory ‘gram. “Honored to be walking the @VictoriaSecret show for the third year ??? It means more and more each year, THANK YOU for seeing my dedication and realizing my dream once again @ed_razek @johndavidpfeiffer @monica.mitro @10magazine @insta_bobb and to all my friends family and agents for your ongoing support through this journey. Feeling full of love and oh so blessed ??? #VSFS2018”
Estelle Chen
PHOTO: Presley Ann
“? #2 ALL SMILES! So happy to announce that I will be walking the @victoriassecret #VSFashionShow for the second year ?,” Chen wrote on Instagram. “Thank you @ed_razek @10magazine @monica.mitro @johndavidpfeiffer for believing in me and for making my dreams come true once again ✨ Thank you to my agents, family and friends for the continuous support, wouldn’t be here without you! ?Feeling honored, blessed, thankful, grateful for everything that’s happening to me ? And big congrats to ALL the girls who worked so hard for this ?”
Barbara Palvin
“Wooowww!! Im speechless. So happy to share the news with you all that i’ll be walking the Victoria’s Secret fashion show this year. Thank you @victoriassecret for making my dream come true!! ♥️ @ed_razek @10magazine @monica.mitro @johndavidpfeiffer”
Cheyenne Maya Carty
PHOTO: Timur Emek
“Dreams do come true. Lost for words right now,” Carty wrote on Instagram. “I’m just a normal girl from Tottenham who’s been given the opportunity to show the world who I am. So excited to announce that I will be in the Victoria Secret’s show 2018!!!! Forever grateful to everyone who has helped me on this journey so far! Onwards and Upwards ❤️❤️❤️ #vsfs2018”
Maia Cotton
“This is my face permanently for a little while!!! ✨✨✨ I am so ecstatic to say that I’ll be walking this years VICTORIA’S SECRET FASHION SHOW!! I used to think about what this moment might feel like, and it is simply indescribable. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined I would get the opportunity to cast, let alone confirm the show of a lifetime. A big thank you to my amazing agents for all that you have done. I LOVE YOU ❤️❤️ @alikavoussi @andreaplowright @thelionsny @62management and lastly to @ed_razek @10magazine @monica.mitro and @johndavidpfeiffer THANK YOU for making my dreams come true! I am on a cloud right now!!! ????”
Lorena Rae
PHOTO: Nicholas Hunt
“Smiling from ear to ear and couldn’t be happier about finding out I get to be in the @victoriassecret Fashion Show this year !! I’m absolutely thrilled and keep pinching myself every 5 minutes!!” she captioned an Instagram announcing her casting. “Thank you so so so much @johndavidpfeiffer @monica.mitro @10magazine and Ed Razek ??? and of course to everyone else who believed I could do this and was sending supportive messages my way ?? #VSFashionShow2018”
Kelsey Merritt
“WE DID IT PHILIPPINES!!!!!! ?????? What an honor it is to be the first Filipino to walk in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2018!!! Ahhhhhh I can’t believe this!! Thank you soooo much @johndavidpfeiffer, @monica.mitro, @10magazine, and @ed_razek for making my dream come true!! ❤️❤️❤️ And to my agents at @suprememgmt @nomadmgmt @romanyoung @david_kimm @marissasurmenkow thank you for believing in me and being there for me throughout this journey!! ??? But most of all thank you to all my followers you guys are my rock!!! I couldn’t have done this without you guys. Thank you for your never ending support I LOVE Y’ALL para sainyo to!!!????? #VSFashionShow”
Alexina Graham
PHOTO: Sean Zanni
“This ? is going to be STRUTTING her stuff this November!!!!!! ? ? ? ? ArGhHhHh!!!!!!,” Graham wrote on Instagram. “I am so so excited and so happy to announce that I will be walking the @victoriassecret runway this November 2018!!!!. Thank you to Monica, Ed, Sophia & John for believing in me and making my dreams come true. This red head is coming for you Thankyou to my agents @womenmanagementny for believing and trusting in me. ❤️❤️#redhead #vsfs2018 #dreamscometrue #workhardforyourdreams”
Lesha Hodges
“???O M G ?? This is the moment I’ve been praying for! Beyond Speechless!!! Thankyou all from the bottom of my heart ??? .”
Yasmin Wijnaldum
PHOTO: Bryan Bedder
“Super excited to announce that i am going to be walking in the VICTORIA’S SECRET FASHION SHOW 2018 !!! ?,” the model captioned her casting announcement on Instagram. Thank you to everyone who believed in me (and who didn’t) @ed_razek @monica.mitro @10magazine @johndavidpfeiffer @victoriassecret for giving me this insane chance, forever grateful???”
Shanina Shaik
PHOTO: CNBC
“I had a few visitors turn up to my photoshoot today. It was my amazing agent @lisamariebenson & my bestie @jastookes … a little confused ??♀️ then began to realize I’m going to receive the most outrageous news!! I WILL BE WALKING IN THE @victoriassecret FASHION SHOW!!!! ??✨✨????????!!,” Shaik wrote on Instagram. “A challenge for me because I couldn’t cry … I was in makeup for 4 hours. I’m overjoyed and so beyond grateful . Thank you so very much @johndavidpfeiffer @monica.mitro @10magazine @ed_razek ??? I’m excited to make this 2018 #VSFS an unforgettable show !!”
Isilda Moreira
“I DID IT OMG ?if words could make justice to what i feel right now i would try to find a thousand of them and to describe what i am going through right now. as time rushes by i can only feel more and more overwhelmed by having one of my lifetime dreams coming true. every step i took with alongside all these amazing beings who have believed in me have brought me to simply tell you: I WILL BE WALKING FOR @victoriassecret 2018 SHOW #vsfashionshow thank you soooo much @victoriassecret ❤️??”
Devon Windsor
PHOTO: Presley Ann
“Wow. I’m not honestly sure what to say, or how to begin, to thank these people who have come and forever changed my life for the better. Thank you to all my friends, family, agents and the people from VS who have believed in me 6 years in a row!!!!!,” Windsor captioned her announcement post. “I think people think it gets easier every year, and I can honestly say that is not true. Every year gets more and more difficult and I find myself wanting it even more ! I have never worked so hard or wanted anything in my life so badly. So, to be rewarded for that is a feeling I cannot describe! Congrats to all of the other girls walking as well, I know you all have been working your booties off for this, and I can’t wait to share this incredible moment with you! #VSFashionShow2018 #Number6 ❤️???”
Sofie Rovenstine
“I am so so excited and honored to be able to announce that I will be walking in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2018. Still don’t think it’s quite hit me yet but this is such a dream come true. Thank you to all of you who have supported and believed in me along the way. So incredibly grateful to @johndavidpfeiffer @monica.mitro and @10magazine for the opportunity to be in the show of my dreams. God is good ⭐️ @victoriassecret @jagmodels #vsfashionshow”
Leomie Anderson
PHOTO: Matt Winkelmeyer
“The face you make when you find out you’ve bagged @victoriassecret show for the fourth time in a row!,” Anderson wrote on Instagram. “Big thank you to @ed_razek @johndavidpfeiffer @monica.mitro @10magazine @fusionmodelsnyc for believing in me and everyone else for the constant support and encouragement, this achievement means EVERYTHING to me ?❤️? #VictoriasSecretFashionShow”
Myrthe Bolt
“I’m soooo excited, I WILL BE WALKING THE VICTORIA SECRET SHOW!!! ❤️❤️❤️ I still can’t believe it! Big big thanks to @ed_razek @johndavidpfeiffer @monica.mitro @10magazine @mrs_k_chow @victoriassecret for giving me this chance! ✨?✨?I also want to thank my sweet Natascha @modelsrockagency and @nextmodels for their ongoing support ?”
Megan Williams
PHOTO: Matt Winkelmeyer
“Very proud and honoured to be back on this legendary runway for my 3rd year ✨” Megan captioned her Instagram post. “Thankyou @ed_razek @johndavidpfeiffer @10magazine @monica.mitro for believing in me to represent the @victoriassecret brand once again ? can’t wait to share this experience with all the other dedicated ladies in the #VSFashionShow”
Gizele Oliveira
“Thank you everyone that believed in me since the beginning, thank you for always rooting for me and making me feel the luckiest girl in the world! I’m so so so happy to announce that I’m gonna be walking at the @victoriassecret fashion show 2018 ♥️♥️♥️ thank you @ed_razek @monica.mitro @10magazine @johndavidpfeiffer for trusting me one more year ? thank you thank you thank you thank you”
Barbara Fialho
PHOTO: Matt Winkelmeyer
“N 7 ! Thank you my loving @VictoriasSecret family for this amazing gift! It gets more special each year. I love you with all my heart!,” Fialho wrote on Instagram. “I know how hard you all work to make this dream possible for us. Forever grateful for our beautiful journey together. ???????? N 7 Obrigada minha família linda @VictoriasSecret por esse presente! Cada ano fica mais especial! Eu amo vocês com todo meu coração, e sei o quanto trabalham para tornar esse sonho possível para nós. Gratidão eterna por nossa linda jornada juntos. Lucky 7? @Ed_razek @Monica.Mitro @JohnDavidPfeiffer @10magazine Love ?”
Mélie Tiacoh
After attending casting calls for the VS show for four years in a row, model Mélie Tiacoh has her wings.
Maggie Laine
PHOTO: FRED DUFOUR
“This feeling will never get old it just keeps growing and growing!! I’m so excited to announce I’ll be walking my 3rd @victoriassecret fashion show! Thank you so much!! @ed_razek @mrs_k_chow @johndavidpfeiffer @monica.mitro @10magazine,” Laine wrote on the ‘gram.
Toni Garrn
“IM BACK B*****s?? Here’s some of my favorite looks on the most fun runway ever❤️ Excited to be back and let’s make 2018 the best one yet @victoriassecret”
Frida Aasen
PHOTO: Matt Winkelmeyer
“I got the best surprise today at work – I’ll be walking in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show for the second time!✨????,” Aasen captioned an Instagram post. “I couldn’t be happier! Thank you for believing in me once again @10magazine @monica.mitro Ed Razek @johndavidpfeiffer @victoriassecret @womenmanagementny ❤️”
Alanna Arrington
“I FINALLY GET TO TELL YALL I’LL BE WALKING IN THE 2018 VICTORIA’S SECRET FASHION SHOW!!!!!! ?????? I can’t even put into words exactly how amazing this feels to be coming back for my 3rd year. From growing up and prancing around in my moms heels, to being a lil 10 year old girl watching Adriana walk out on that runway and only dreaming of doing it myself… It always felt like it was meant to be so when i finally got the “congratulations call” in 2016, and again 2017, AND AGAIN 2018 ALLLLLL of my dreams came true…….. I’m so thankful to the team at @victoriassecret @monica.mitro @10magazine @johndavidpfeiffer and Ed for bringing me back to rock the runway once again! And thank you to @nextmodels @mothermodel & my trainer @john_benton_model_fitness for being the most supportive team of people during the months of prep for the casting… Now starts the real training!!!! SEE YALL ON THE RUNWAY!!!!!”
Josie Canseco
PHOTO: Daniel Zuchnik
“literal MOOD because IM WALKING IN THIS YEARS VICTORIA SECRET FASHION SHOW!!!!” Canseco captioned a smiley shot on Instagram. “I can’t believe I’ve been given this opportunity thank you SO much to the team @10magazine @ed_razek @johndavidpfeiffer @monica.mitro for seeing something special in me and an even bigger thank you to the team behind all my work @nextmodels. You guys constantly push me and never gave up on me no matter how many ups and downs we went through. forever grateful for the chance to prove to everyone that I’m meant to be here. I won’t let you guys down!! I love each and every one of you that have followed me and supported me and we’re just getting started❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #VSFashionShow”
Kelly Gale
PHOTO: Theo Wargo
“Woooohoooo!!!!???? Yaaayyy, so thrilled to let you all know I’ll be walking in the Victorias Secret Fashion Show for my 5th(!!!) year!,” Gale wrote on Instagram. “Its a dream come true every single year and I’m so thankful to everyone who make it happen!❤️✨??Forever grateful Ed Razek @monica.mitro @10magazine @johndavidpfeiffer @fordmodels Thank you @jasminejaye_ @bethjnicely @kirkmyersfitness for always kicking my? LET’S DO THIS @victoriassecret ?? #VSFashionShow”
Cindy Bruna
“2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 and now 2018 !!! I still can’t believe it ! I feel so blessed and forever grateful to this amazing family ?? Merci Merci Merci @ed_razek @monica.mitro @10magazine @johndavidpfeiffer for believing in me for 6 years now, you guys changed my life ! ❤️ @victoriassecret”
Jourdana Phillips
PHOTO: Matt Winkelmeyer
“Words can not express how I feel right now but I’m going to try lol. ?Thank you @victoriassecret for giving me the opportunity to walk for a THIRD time!!,” Phillips wrote of the news. “I’ve been in and out of the modeling industry for aaaaaaaminute ⏱, and didn’t get my first break till I was 25? I would literally be in a classroom teaching first graders right now if it wasn’t for some really amazing people in my life that encouraged me to give modeling one more shot (i still love the kiddies tho ?? lol). I hope my journey encourages you to never give up, to trust, to believe in your dreams. To always remember what is for you is always for you. Follow your heart and trust me you will always be abundant. Thank you so much @johndavidpfeiffer @10magazine @monica.mitro @ed_razek not only for believing in me but being kind, genuine, sweet, loving people in the processs. Every girl that leaves the VS casting has the biggest smile on their face because you all are so loving and positive. It’s such a joy to have the privilege to work with you all. I’m so lucky!! I feel so alive on the VS runway because you are truly able to be 100% yourself. You can be sexy, laugh, sing, cry, fall, dance whatever because it’s not about being perfect, it’s about letting the real you shine for the world to see. #3 #thankyougod #victoriassecret2018 Thank you @suprememgmt for always havin ya girls back! And thank you @rjathayde for getting my booty right! ?”
Mayowa Nicholas
PHOTO: Gotham
“Words cannot describe how happy and honored I am announcing that I will be walking the Victoria secret fashion show this year, Looking forward to sharing the runway with all the powerful and beautiful women in the show,” Nicholas wrote on Instagram. “Thank you so much to the entire Victoria secret team @10magazine @monica.mitro @ed_razek @johndavidpfeiffer @victoriassecret for believing in me again ❤️ Indeed God’s time is always the best??”
Walking down the aisle with your dad on your wedding day is one of those traditions that many women start to imagine from the moment they first fully appreciate the meaning of the word bride. Little did we know when we were kids making our dads play pretend wedding that being “given away” means something much different now than it once did.
Back when marriages were still mostly arranged, a father walked his daughter down the aisle as a way to keep the groom from backing out of the deal; a hand-off from one male-dominated home to the next. The wedding itself marked a transfer of responsibility and financial liability. In a sense, once the ceremony was over, the bride (a word which, by the way, is etymologically entangled with the verb cook) was officially no longer her father’s problem.
Of course, now things are different. Weddings can be whatever we want them to be; if we elect to enact traditions with sexist roots, we can rewrite what they mean in a modern context—or we can throw them out the window altogether.
But the truth is that the “father of the bride” element of most ceremonies has largely stuck, and when that doesn’t happen, it’s often a decision that winds up under the magnifying glass. Just look at what’s happening with Meghan Markle: Her father, Thomas Markle, was initially set to be on the arm of the royal bride-to-be at St. George’s Chapel on Saturday. Then a heart condition, followed by a small scandal thanks to a series of staged photographs, kicked in; as of Thursday the official report from the Kensington Palace press team reflects that he will be absent from the ceremony.
There’s a kind of irony to the fact that a bride who is carrying centuries of monastic history on her shoulders—and whose “fairy-tale wedding” will be watched by the world—won’t be participating in this particular element of ceremonial tradition. No doubt the fact that her father won’t be there is a bruise on her heart. To add insult to injury, she’ll bear the scrutiny surrounding his absence as well.
It’s a weight I can relate to. From the time I was very small, I knew my dad would play an integral role in my wedding day. In fact, I was devastated when a girl in my kindergarten class alerted me to the fact that you couldn’t grow up and marry your father. So I set my sights on finding someone who embodied all my dad’s best qualities instead.
When I found that person, four years ago, seated across a conference table in a Manhattan office building, it didn’t take long for me to begin daydreaming about what our wedding would look like someday. He and I are marrying in November. But what has changed in the years since is that it’s only in my dreams that my father will be there.
I was 27 when my dad was diagnosed with cancer; he was only 61. I remember getting the phone call and collapsing to the ground; I remember my dad telling me that it would be all right, before putting my stepmom on the line. Chemotherapy was tough, but so was my father. When my sister got married, a year later, he was in remission. His hair was a soft gray fuzz that day, and he looked so handsome, so proud, in his suit. By the following June, when the flowers he had planted in the backyard were bursting up through the ground, he was gone.
The “father of the bride” element of most ceremonies has largely stuck, and when that doesn’t happen, it’s often a decision that winds up under the magnifying glass.
When my partner and I became engaged this winter, people immediately wanted to know what kind of wedding we planned to have: where, when, how many people. They wanted to know what type of dress I would wear and what song would play when I walked down the aisle. They wanted to know: band or DJ? And the precipice of something so exciting, it is lovely to be asked.
But it’s also been difficult to explain, especially to people who did not already know, why we are not getting married in my hometown, where I most acutely feel my father’s absence; it is hard to watch a face fall when I share why my sister will be the one to give me away. I’m sorry, they say, and I worry I’ve ruined a happy moment—that somehow I’ve spoiled their joy.
Lately I’ve taken to skimming over certain details, saying that yes, we’re having a big wedding, but no, we won’t be doing a lot of the traditional things: a father-daughter dance, staged family portraits. A walk down the aisle. The responses to those decisions span the gamut, from raised eyebrows (my Italian aunts) to elopement encouragement (“Wouldn’t it be better to save the money instead?”).
There’s another that stands out, though. “Congratulations!” for eschewing retro traditions, some have said, a “Good for you guys!” hurrah. “It’s 2018, a woman doesn’t need to be ‘given away’ by her father,” someone who didn’t know better, said. And the thing is: I agree.
Five years ago I might have skipped any ritual that might suggest that I, or any woman, could be passed like a possession from one man to another. It’s the symbolism, I would have said, my feminist ire up, even if the foundational meaning has changed. I would have found some other way to honor my dad during our ceremony, to acknowledge the massively outsize role he has played in my life. I would nodded at tradition without bending to it. I would cite more progressive traditions like how, in Sweden, the newlyweds-to-be walk down the aisle together. Maybe I would have skipped the whole damned thing and insisted we head to City Hall instead.
There are limitless ways to be a bride, and—unless we are destined to get married in St. George’s Chapel—it’s a choice we get to make for ourselves, which is neither better or worse for being filtered through the sieve of feminism. Now, if the only way I could have my dad back is if he “gave” me to my husband…I would be overjoyed to let him. What has become clear to me since is some traditions are more than rituals; they’re about making a memory. And in the end, I personally cannot imagine anything mattering more. I have no doubt that the royal bride-to-be will carry her own pain in her heart, looking back on her photos and not finding her father there.
I don’t know that my father would have called himself a feminist. What I do know is that he was the first person (along with our mom) who told my sister and me that we could be whatever we wanted to be and that the greatest risks I’ve taken in my life were made possible because I believed that, if I looked over my shoulder, my dad would be standing there behind me. He taught me how to change a taillight and how to stand my ground. He showed me what respectful, compassionate masculinity looks like, because that’s how he always behaved.
What I know now is what I knew as a little girl: that he was the best man to have by my side. For the rest of his life and most of mine, that’s where I could always find him. It’s where I still see him now.
Like Athena emerging fully formed and dressed for battle from the head of Zeus, many talented women who joined the professional world during the Great Recession have faced unprecedented challenges. I’ve tried a few unconventional methods of making rent, but even I never could have anticipated the recent Thursday evening I spent folding a stranger’s underwear. Let’s get to that episode in a second. First, about me—I’m a journalist, proud of my profession despite its frequently meager dividends. But sometimes I wonder: Could the gig economy (which, really, is a reductive little phrase used to describe easy-entry odd jobs that, when cobbled together, theoretically add up to a reasonable living or, at the least, a lucrative side hustle) make my rigidly budgeted life more comfortable? I decided to see what results might come of a full-court-press effort, and a willingness to try almost anything once.
Before I got started, I reached out to a few contemporaries to find out how they’d brought in the most cash on the side. I’d gotten my first taste of paid writing work as a college freshman, when the author-illustrator Molly Crabapple commissioned me to write an ode to her friend (a “retired, pragmatic contortionist,” according to Crabapple) in the form of a sestina. However, for the purposes of this experiment, my usual methods of accruing capital were out of bounds.
A culture reporter friend used to make 10 dollars a day texting men through an app called Phrendly that paid out a small amount for every reply to her messages. A fashion world friend, Dominic DeLuque, once picked up lizard food for an eccentric who tipped horribly, shuttled iced coffees to an agoraphobic neighbor, and transported a suitcase to a shady client on the Upper West Side (only realizing later the cargo was most likely drugs) for about $20 per odd job. I wasn’t in the mood to smuggle narcotics or go through the process of establishing relationships with oddball New York strangers, so those options were out, too.
For my first go, I tried out Craigslist. A flower shop in Morningside Heights was looking for an assistant; a “research facility” called MediaScience sought panelists; a gentleman’s club in Midtown needed extra (scantily-clad) help on Super Bowl Sunday. I sent CVs and emails flurrying all over New York City. Not one response.
Undaunted, and remembering the capable man I’d hired to help me move last summer, I went about the process of registering to be a Tasker on TaskRabbit. I paid a $20 registration fee, indicated what I thought were fair rates for the suggested tasks—assembling Ikea furniture, $30 an hour; and so on—and submitted my application. Almost automatically a form email appeared in my inbox. “Hi Helen,” it read. “At this time, we do not have the demand for Taskers in the city and categories you’ve specified, so we will not be moving forward with your registration.” I laughed out loud. But my rejection made sense: If it’s nearly impossible to get a job interview at The New York Times or Goldman Sachs, it stands to reason you’ll be fighting hordes for the considerably smaller scraps too. Ruling out Uber driver, SAT tutor and plasma donor, I sought out other options.
Luckily, deliverance soon arrived in the form of a friend who needed help caring for her brand-new puppy, a 16-week-old Klee Kai named Juneau. I would take him for an afternoon walk and give him lunch for $40 per visit. Our first outing was glorious: the two of us sailed through Central Park. Strangers and their dogs cooed over him. But disaster struck during our second appointment. After a blissful hour’s walk, I struggled with the antique front door of the owner’s apartment. YELP! I spun around to see the puppy, trapped in the heavy oak door, and rushed to free the poor little guy. I neglected to mention the incident to his owner in my otherwise exhaustive follow up text about Juneau’s every bark and bowel movement, and prayed to the dog walker gods that the pup hadn’t suffered any internal injuries.
Next, I trumpeted my services on Twitter. An acquaintance responded—she needed some help with laundry. A day later I made a house call to my client, who asked, “Do you have a problem with washing and folding period-stained sheets?” I waved my hand as if to say “Perish the thought,” and steeled myself like Indiana Jones preparing to raid a cave. I was tasked with washing everything she owned—jeans, sweatshirts, nine pairs of matching socks, the aforementioned sheets—and I went home $20 richer and with a vivid mental image of her boyfriend’s Under Armour boxers.
Ultimately, my weeklong experiment netted me $100 total, but once you factor in the multiple subway trips and the cash I spent on Red Bull for fuel, it would be generous to say I’d scraped a $90 profit. If I’m honest, I kind of expected pathetic results. I’ve always been skeptical of the gig economy. It creates a fantasy that, if you can profit off your every marketable skill, you can subvert the hardships of my much-maligned, profoundly misrepresented generation (including insurmountable student debt, too many music-streaming services to choose from, and the escalating cost of vape pens). Millennials are raised to be brutally hard workers, even if some of us (me) are probably doomed to spend the rest of our lives writing jokes online. We deserve better than what the gig economy has to offer.
Helen Holmes is a freelance journalist living in Brooklyn.
At this point, Sex and the City has become more of a cultural phenomenon than a TV show. The popular HBO series ran for six seasons and turned Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, and Kim Cattrall into household names. It also gave us the glitziest, most awe-inspiring depiction of New York City in pop-culture history. The sprawling apartments, the endless parade of hot sexual partners, the shoes: It was all so delicious…and impossible. Take it from someone who lives in Manhattan! Sex and the City, at its core, is fantasy: a cosmopolitan-scented dream of what life would be like if you had enough money and status to just play around Manhattan with SJP all day.
But that fantasy can become your reality next Friday. For the (admittedly steep) price of $400, you can join Sarah Jessica Parker for a walking tour of sorts around New York City. The experience, offered through Airbnb, will help raise money for the New York City Ballet and includes the following:
A shoe-shopping excursion with Parker herself at Bloomingdale’s. (You’ll be perusing Parker’s own SJP Collection, of course.)
A frozen yogurt date—yes, still with SJP—to Forty Carrots, a popular NYC dessert spot.
Tickets to the New York City Ballet (unfortunately, Parker isn’t attending this with you).
Amazing, right? This is basically an episode of Sex an the City minus Carrie annoyingly complaining about Mr. Big for hours. There’s only a few spots available, so diehard fans with hundreds of dollars to spare should hop on this quickly. If you don’t have the funds, though, you can always just eat cheap ice cream and re-watch every episode of Sex and the City where Carrie talks about shoes (so, literally every episode). That’s just as fun!
