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Sen. Lindsey Graham's Racist and Islamophobic Comment About Iran Re-Traumatized Me


If the past month is any indication, it’s that Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) just doesn’t get it. He’s supported men who are accused of sexual assault (fighting furiously to move forward the confirmation of now-Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh), waved his subscription to the Old Boys Club in our faces with his contempt for women, and on top of all that, I believe he just proved he is a racist bigot in the most casual of ways.

On Tuesday, Graham made an appearance on Fox & Friends to discuss Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s (D-Mass.) recent DNA tests proving she has Native American ancestry—an already racially sensitive topic due to the tokenization of indigenous people for political gain. In banter back and forth with the hosts about his plan to also take a DNA test, Graham said it would be “like, terrible” if the results showed he had Iranian heritage.

The senator said these words on live television, encouraging the already conservative audience to go forth with their biases and micro-aggressions against “eye-rain-ians.” While many instances of bias usually need to be decoded, this one was pretty straightforward.

When Graham says being Iranian is, “like, terrible,” it sounds to me like he’s saying he is better because he is white. It’s a loud and clear reminder that no matter how successful and accomplished I—an Iranian-American woman—become, how American I may feel, I am still considered a minority in this country. And now, because my parents are also Iranian, I’m “terrible.”

Not that there is much to be expected from a white South Carolinian man whose comments in the past have highlighted white male anxiety and privilege. (In a speech, he once said that white men in male-only spaces would do great under a Graham presidency.) But it must be said that this insult stands to re-traumatize Iranian-Americans and even those who follow Islam. Graham’s comment was a play on the same Islamophobia the president dabbles in, and in the larger scheme, the kind that demonized anyone from the Middle East after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.

For me, that phobia hit home. I remember it very clearly. I went to the same predominantly white, Southern school from kindergarten until I graduated high school—the one Iranian-American Muslim student. With my dark curls and impossible to pronounce name, I never felt I belonged. I got picked on for my thick brows and the homemade lunches my mom lovingly packed. And after 9/11, I was constantly asked if I was a terrorist. I was only 11 years old.

Like most middle schoolers, I just wanted to fit in. I made it a mission to whitewash myself by straightening my hair until it was damaged and dressing in the same preppy clothes my classmates owned. It still wasn’t enough. I remember begging my parents to give me an American name, one that my teachers wouldn’t butcher after awkwardly pausing on the roster. They would answer, “You have the most beautiful name; it means liberty, freedom. You are free.” I didn’t feel free. There was this deeply rooted anxiety I felt every single morning I walked into school. By the end of high school, I was tired of minimizing myself. Realizing I wouldn’t have to see these people who traumatized me for years, I stopped trying to hide who I was, and slowly reconnected with my roots. I eventually made it to New York and pursued my master’s degree in journalism at Columbia. The first line to my admissions essay was from the late travel writer, producer and chef Anthony Bourdain: I am so confused. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Of all the places, of all the countries, all the years of traveling, it’s here in Iran, that I am greeted most warmly by total strangers.

I have been able to stay focused and compartmentalize how I react to news that personally affects me—the Muslim travel ban, controversial Supreme Court nominations, the disregard of climate change, and of course, threats to silence the free press. But it wasn’t until I saw Graham’s comments on my Twitter timeline that something triggered inside me. That same anxious feeling that haunted me in the school halls crept back. I cried as I listened to those words, and I cry as I write this now. In an instant, I felt so belittled and powerless. These are the same comments I heard for years, in the same accent no less, from my classmates. I felt even sadder thinking about all the other Azadehs out there who are hiding from their roots because they’re ostracized for something they can’t control. For being an American that looks different from Graham.

I actually agree with Graham: It would be terrible for someone on his level of ignorant bigotry and racism to be Iranian. But on the bright side, his time is running out. He makes these comments out of ignorance and fear that an intolerant America will not endure. And he’s right. There is a new generation of young voters coming in and an outstanding number of fearless women whose votes next month are going to help right the currently failing course of history this great nation is straying on.

Sen. Graham, I hope someday soon you decide to take a step forward and get to know one of the undoubtedly incredible Iranian-Americans you cross paths with. I hope you realize it’s an honor to come from a rich heritage and become enlightened by our hospitality. Most of all, I hope you realize that any bad leadership you may be referencing in Iran does not speak for us or our values—just as our current administration here doesn’t speak for the majority of great Americans in this country.

You shouldn’t throw stones if you live in a glass house.

Azadeh Valanejad is a writer and video producer at Glamour. You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter @azaxdeh.

MORE: Kelly Marie Tran Wrote a Powerful Essay About the Racism She Experienced After Star Wars





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DJ Lindsey Caldwell: What It Costs to Be Me


These days it’s nearly impossible to know what women are spending on the way they look. Someone with Instagram-flawless contouring might have honed her craft using the finest from the drugstore aisles, and the utterly makeup-free type might be spending thousands on laser treatments or face serums. Enter our series “What It Costs to Be Me,” where we’re asking interesting women for radical transparency.

Up this week: Lindsey Caldwell, DJ and mother of two from Long Island, New York. Her annual total? $3,673.50

DJ Lindsey Caldwell may well be DJ royalty. She’s spun her soulful, eclectic mix of classics and hits for everyone from Iman to the great late Prince. But she isn’t afraid to keep it real when it comes to the challenges of her life/work balancing act, especially when it comes to self-care: “My focus has changed for sure after having kids; it’s got even more difficult to keep organized—and moisturized,” says Caldwell. “Mom guilt is real, and the pull to be the best mom and wife is intensely stronger than it is to do anything for yourself.” Caldwell’s wellness and beauty priorities right now are about life-improving strategies that don’t cost much: meditation, a beloved weekly workout, a failsafe hair routine she’s got down to a science, some super chic (and time-saving) head wraps—and above all else, slowing down.

My simple morning skin care routine: $147

I use a basic cotton washcloth (a clean one every day) with Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cleanser ($20). That’s typically enough exfoliating for my face. For my body, I use Savon de Marseille soap ($8). After I wash, I moisturize my face with Kiehl’s Hydro-Plumping Re-Texturizing Serum Concentrate ($59) and Kiehl’s Rosa Arctica Lightweight Cream ($60). I also drink an obnoxious amount of water every day. And I go out of my way to eat more fruits and vegetables than anything else.

My evening wind-down ritual: $47

At night I use my Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cleanser again and the brand’s Midnight Recovery Concentrate ($47). If my skin is particularly dry, I use my Rosa Arctica Lightweight Moisturizer again too. I also tie my hair down every night with a silk scarf to prevent breakage, tangling, and frizz.

My daytime makeup: $126

During the day, I wear a simple black eyeliner, usually whatever cheap-o eyeliner pen I’ve gotten from Ricky’s or the drugstore. The one I have now is from NYX ($9.50). I keep three lipsticks in rotation: NARS Schiap ($28), NARS Heat Wave ($28), and Mac Lady Danger ($18.50). I brush on a little Milk Makeup Kush Fiber Brow Gel in Dutch ($18), and I use Mac Cream Color Base in Improper Copper ($24) as a highlighter if I’m feeling fancy.

My DJ makeup: $280

If I’m DJ’ing, I’ll sometimes do my whole face. I use almost all MAC. After I moisturize, I apply Face and Body Foundation ($30), concealer in NC45 ($24), then Mineralize Skin Finish in both Dark Deep and Dark ($34 each), my Improper Copper highlighter, eyeliner, brows, and a lip. I use all MAC brushes—eyebrow ($20), shadow ($32), powder ($42), and foundation ($35).

Mascara kind of bugs out my eyes, so I only use a Sephora lash curler ($15). I really have to be doing something extra-fancy to put on fake lashes. They make me feel like I have palm tree fronds on my eyes. But if I am going to wear them, I’ll just get whatever new fake lashes they have at Sephora ($14) that are easy to apply. I love trying new stuff; my husband always laughs at me.

My chill-out bath routine and body products: $56

I live in my bathtub. I keep it pretty simple: I use epsom salt ($5) with NOW essential oils, usually lavender ($8). I love that brand, because its oils are usually cheaper. I’m also dying to try CBD oil soaks, but I’m waiting until after I finish breastfeeding to get into that territory.

For my body, I use Everyone Lotion ($11), which I also use on my son Henry. We like to mix it up with the scents; sometimes coconut, sometimes mint. In problem areas like my heels and cuticles, I use Ouai Rose Hair and Body Oil ($32). A good friend recommended it, and it’s the only thing that isn’t Aquaphor that gets ashy skin right. It’s a very light oil and way less messy than other things I’ve tried.

My spirit-lifting scents: $397

I love clearing the air with sage ($10) or palo santo ($7). It’s part of the whole experience when I take a bath or if I’m about to meditate. If I don’t have time for a bath, I’ll sometimes put a few drops of essential oil on the shower drain.

We love Diptyque candles ($65 each): Right now we have Santal and Tubereuse in our living room, the grass-scented one in the bathroom, Menthe Vert in the kitchen, and the Baies black currant candle. And then we have nepali rope ($8), Murray and Lanman Florida Water ($8), sweetgrass ($15), essential oils, and rose water ($24)—all that witchy stuff. I get it all on Amazon.

When I walk into my house I want it to smell a certain way, and that in and of itself is calming to me. We even lined the walkway to our old house with lavender for that purpose. Even when there are giant plastic toys all over the place, and I step on a Lego or two, the scents help me stay a little more decompressed.

My weekly hair routine: $175.50

Here’s what I do for wash day, which is once a week: I use 3-inch butterfly hair clips ($3) and a wide toothed comb ($3) to section and clip up my hair. Then I cleanse and detangle my hair in sections with Devacurl No Poo Decadence ($22), twisting each clean detangled hair section into a little bantu knot with Hair Rules Quench Conditioner ($22) as I go. Then once it’s all detangled, I rinse out the conditioner and get out of the shower.

If I’m styling my hair into a wash-and-go, I use Kinky-Curly Knot Today ($12) as a leave-in and then nearly a third of the jar of KeraCare Clear Protein Styling Gel ($17) to capture my curl pattern. Then I go sit under a hood dryer ($40) for the rest of my life—just kidding, for like one or two hours. Usually that gets interrupted and it air dries the rest of the way because…kids.

I also wear a head wrap a few times a week to give my hair a break from all the styling products. I love The Wrap Life head wraps ( $26) because there are so many different ways to wear them. On days I have them on, I leave my hair in twists and work in Giovanni Direct Leave-In Weightless Moisture Conditioner ($9) after my shower, then put my own grapeseed oil ($6) and rosemary essential oil ($6.50) mixture on my scalp. My scalp is always itchy and dry—it’s just the nature of my hair—and this blend helps soothe and smells so good. And if my hairline is showing, I use Design Essentials Sleek Max Strength Edge Control ($9) with a toothbrush to lay my edges. My hair does what it wants, so I need that extra hold.

My special occasion hair looks: roughly $640 a year

I get braids around two to three times a year—usually whenever I don’t want deal with my hair and would rather focus on the music for big gigs. The only downside is that they’re not always gentle on your hair and some places have really torn out my edges. So when I do get them, I invest. My braider Inna is super gentle—plus, she’s done hair for Beyoncé! My last style, box braids inspired by Rihanna’s 2015 cover of i-D, cost about $200.

I also used to buy a lot of wigs when I had time to mess around with them. They’re a fun and quick solution, because a weave is like the worst torture ever. And if you get good human hair, sew-ins can cost up to $1,000 or more—another reason I don’t usually get them. I prefer the freedom of a wig: I can take it off at night, shake it out, and put it on the shelf. If I want a cheap, trendy one, I’ll go on elevatestyles.com, where they have super-cheap synthetic wigs. I’ll find the name of a few I think are cute, then go on YouTube to read reviews for the full tea on each one. From there, I’ll narrow it down to one that’s about $40, has minimal shedding, and by then I have all the cheats for how to make it look more natural. If I want to spring for one that’s expensive, I go to evawigs.com. Usually they have a picture of a celebrity, and you can buy a similar wig. They can also custom-make wigs, which cost about $500.

My quarterly hair cuts: $600 a year

I do really love changing my hair, but I care way more about keeping it healthy. Before I had kids, I used to go to H2 Salon Brooklyn once a week to get my hair done. Now I go every three months to get my ends trimmed, get a deep condition, and to kiki with them because it’s so fun in there and the owner programs the best music. I usually go to Char. She always suggests style changes to keep things exciting but manageable and healthy. It costs around $150, plus tip, depending on what I get done.

My exercise regimen: $780 a year

Every Monday at 10 A.M. I do my pilates class on Google Hangouts with Lisa Schoenholt at Brooklyn Embodied ($15 a class). She’s a miracle worker and closed my diastasis recti in no time after both pregnancies. I do the class with a couple other moms, and Lisa watches and corrects us over video. I started doing it around four months postpartum. I love that it cuts out the commute time, so it’s easy to commit to. I practice the breathing Lisa teaches throughout the day to keep my transverse abdominis (the deepest layer of ab muscles) pulled in as tightly as I can to avoid any potential back issues or reopening my diastasis.

This class is one of the most important things I spend money on. Not only does my body feel better afterwards, but I also feel better about the way I look in general. It’s been a huge part of avoiding postpartum depression, as much as anyone can.

My meditation practice and sanity-saving tactics: $425

Last year when I became pregnant with Amel (my youngest), my husband and I started taking HypnoBirthing classes with Gina at Jaya Yoga ($425 for a 5-week series). All of the practice meditations really changed me. I was always giving to others and never taking the time out to focus on my own mental health. Plus, work-wise, the past few years have been really intense. DJ’ing has become less about your skills as a DJ and more about your social media following, and being that bound to followers and likes takes a toll on you. I’m now trying to change what my idea of success is; which is where the meditation also comes in. It’s made this go-round with the baby so much more enjoyable. I’ll do it at night to help me get to sleep—until Amel wakes me up, of course.





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'Dancing With the Stars' Season 25 Finale Night 1 Recap: Jordan Fisher and Lindsey Stirling Dominate Their Freestyle


This season of Dancing with the Stars might go down as one of the most predictable in the show’s history, unless the last woman standing has something to say about it. Violinist Lindsey Stirling—the only female still in the competition—pulled out all the stops in her stunning freestyle (complete with a violin performance while doing jumps and twirls!) and tied for first with Broadway star Jordan Fisher. While Jordan has been the front-runner since day one, it isn’t lost on the audience that he’s a trained dancer. The Hamilton star will probably win the Mirrorball on Tuesday night, but it’s Lindsey who deserves it.

Meanwhile, Frankie Muniz continued to impress; as a result, he rounded out the third and final spot in the finale. That meant that Drew Scott and Emma Slater were sent home, which came as a shock to almost no one. “There’s no way I could have done anything I did out here without [Emma],” he said following his elimination. “I can’t even believe I’m here…you’ve made this a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

Until tomorrow’s grand finale, it’s time to break down the redemption and freestyle dances! Let’s get to it.

The Redemption Dances

Drew Scott and Emma Slater: Drew said he couldn’t believe he’s in the finals, but maybe Drew doesn’t know what he’s talking about. After all, only a few weeks ago he said he had a good chance to win the Mirrorball. So which is it, Drew? Perhaps I’m being too hard on him, but I’m still shocked he’s lasted this long. Fan voting will do that for you. The judges gushed over his Paso Doble, but he’s still going home. Score: 36/40

Frankie Muniz and Witney Carson: The former child star performed his week one Foxtrot and completely slayed it. Guest judge Julianne Hough said there was something different about tonight, starting with the pivots and how he made Witney move. I didn’t know pivots were anything other than something Ross Gellar screams on Friends, but that’s why I’m not a judge. Score: 38/40

Jordan Fisher and Lindsay Arnold: The last time Jordan and Lindsay performed the Charleston, Lindsay hadn’t hurt her knee, Jordan’s cornea wasn’t scratched, and Len had some harsh criticism about their lack of Charleston in the Charleston. This time around, Team FishUponAStar were not 100% physically, but they sure were there technically—and the judges rewarded them with a perfect score. Rightfully so, as the dance was brilliant. Score: 40/40

Lindsey Stirling and Mark Ballas: Carrie Ann Inaba said Lindsey is the most improved contestant, which shocked the hell out of me considering she’s been pretty great since day one. She also poses the biggest threat to Jordan, who seems to have had this competition locked up since the premiere. Halfway through tonight’s show, she and Jordan were the only ones with perfect scores. Score: 40/40

The Freestyle Dances

Drew Scott and Emma Slater: Carrie Ann said Drew and Emma’s freestyle wasn’t entirely in sync, but the audience wasn’t having it. For the first time, I agreed with them. While Drew and Emma won’t win the Mirrorball, their freestyle was everything you could have hoped for from “a couple of quirky weirdos.” It was energetic, joyous, and the best note to go out on. Score: 39/40

Frankie Muniz and Witney Carson: In an emotional rehearsal package, Frankie broke down while talking about how thankful he is for Witney and what the experience has meant to him. Their freestyle was dark and intense, or as Bruno praised, a bit of “Janet Jackson and Rhythm Nation.” It’s a departure from previous, more light-hearted freestyles, but the audience loved it. Score: 38/40

Jordan Fisher and Lindsay Arnold: “The freestyle is everything when winning the Mirrorball,” Lindsay said in her rehearsal package. Considering every dance of theirs has freestyle elements mixed in, they were probably under the most pressure of the remaining couples to knock it out of the park. And spoiler alert: They absolutely did. Give ’em the Mirrorball now? Score: 40/40

Lindsey Stirling and Mark Ballas: Want to know how good Lindsey and Mark’s freestyle was? So good that it made me forget about Jordan and Lindsay’s freestyle. Between the violin playing and the acrobatics, the whole thing was off the charts. While I still think Jordan will win the Mirrorball, I will go on the record saying that Lindsey deserves it. Score: 40/40

See you tomorrow night for the season 25 finale!



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Lindsey Vonn Responds to the Nude Photo Hack That Affected Her, Miley Cyrus, Kristen Stewart, and Others


Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn and her ex-boyfriend, golfer Tiger Woods, are the latest celebrities affected by a nude photo hack—along with Miley Cyrus, Kristen Stewart, Katharine McPhee, and Stella Maxwell.

TMZ reported on Monday that private photos of these stars starting popping up on a porn website, which was later identified as Celebrity Jihad, the page responsible for the nude leaks in 2014 that involved Jennifer Lawrence and Gabrielle Union. (That incident is now known, unfortunately, as “The Fappening.”) According to TMZ, Woods and McPhee had already hired legal counsel to fight against these leaks. As for Vonn, a spokesperson for the athlete released a statement to People condemning the group who published the photos.

“It is an outrageous and despicable invasion of privacy for anyone to steal and illegally publish private intimate photos,” the representative said. “[Lindsey Vonn] will take all necessary and appropriate legal action to protect and enforce her rights and interests. She believes the individuals responsible for hacking her private photos as well as the websites that encourage this detestable conduct should be prosecuted to the fullest extent under the law.”

And it looks like the hacker(s) received this message. According to the Los Angeles Times, the photos disappeared from Celebrity Jihad at around 7:30 A.M. PDT Tuesday morning (August 22).

This situation is eerily similar to what happened to Emma Watson in March and, of course, “The Fappening” from three years ago. In November 2014, Lawrence told Vanity Fair that her photo hack was a “sex crime,” and she’s absolutely right. These pictures were never intended for public consumption, which means even looking at them is wrong. Taking a quick glance at a celebrity’s nude photos is the equivalent of a creep watching you undress from your closet. It’s a private moment, and invading someone’s intimate space is never OK—even if it’s from your iPhone.



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