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Ashley Graham's Unconventional Baby Shower Looked Like So Much Fun


Ashley Graham and her friends certainly know how to throw a baby shower. But this party was no typical pre-baby celebration where guests guess the newborn’s weight and due date or wrap the mom-to-be’s pregnant belly with toilet paper.

No, this shower was totally unconventional, serving up what was surely one of the wildest parties of the year. Fans got a look inside the party thanks to social media posts by some of the supermodel’s friends. Derek Blasberg shared a series of videos showing guests enjoying stations with manicures, piercings, and even tattoos—real ones. And Graham’s friend and doula Latham Thomas posted more details about the night’s activities.

“This shower was so ? @kissthedeejay was on the 1s and 2s, you could get tattoos, ear piercings and decorate baby onesies that are being donated to families in need,” Thomas wrote on Instagram. “I was too chicken to get a tat or another ear piercing ?@Fridamom made a custom labor and delivery kit for Ashley – so adorable!!!!”

Instagram/@derekblasberg
Instagram/@derekblasberg
Instagram/@derekblasberg
Ashley Graham baby shower
Instagram/@derekblasberg

There were a few traditional touches, as well, including “It’s a mom!” signs, cupcakes, and candy, according to People.

In another video posted by Thomas, Graham gave a toast saying the party was “bigger than our wedding” and “like Christmas.” “If you haven’t gotten your ears pierced or a tattoo, you have to do that. There’s so much food, there’s a big cake that’s bigger than the one at our wedding,” she added.

Graham appeared to have a great time, posing for pictures with guests, including her baby’s two grandmothers.

Ashley Graham and Derek Blasberg
Instagram/@derekblasberg
Ashley Graham baby shower
Ashley Graham and Cary Tauben
Instagram/@carytauben

And, of course, there was dancing, with Graham showing off that’s she’s definitely still got moves.

Instagram/@carytauben

“Thank you all so much. We can’t raise this baby boy without all of you, you’re our community,” Graham told guests. And we would like to thank Graham for proving that baby showers need not be boring at all.



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Ashley Graham's Been Having Difficult Conversations for Two Decades. Now People Are Listening.


“I always say there’s been a victory every year in my career,” Ashley Graham tells me, the day after her 31st birthday, having just wrapped a photo shoot. “Whether it was the first time I was in Vogue, or the first time that Lane Bryant put me in a national campaign and it went viral because the networks said it was too racy…. There was just always something.”

In 2018, Graham has her pick of victories: designing a denim collection for Marina Rinaldi, being named a brand ambassador for Revlon, going viral yet again for another one of her ads…. These are on top of many, many more covers, runway appearances, fashion collaborations, television appearances, the book deal, the music video cameo, the Barbie, and other projects that have kept the model busy since the one job that really blew up her profile: the cover of the 2016 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

When Graham fronted that magazine in a purple string bikini, she became the first curvy model to do so—another victory. At that point she had already been in the industry for 16 years, but it still served as a sort of introduction to the Ashley Graham we know now: outspoken, passionate, and sexy. “SI is a company that doesn’t want a pretty girl, they want a personality,” she says. “Someone who’s got something going on, someone with a voice. And I had that.”

Not only was Graham given a bigger platform, but the conversation about size inclusivity in fashion also got a major signal boost. Every photo shoot, partnership, and appearance following it allowed the Nebraska native to continue to push long-standing industry conventions about what models look like. She’s done it onstage, in her book, and now with a podcast.

Graham launched Pretty Big Deal in early October with a jam-packed lineup. (Kim Kardashian West was her very first guest.) She talks to people from a variety of fields—from fashion (Halima Aden) to acting (Gabrielle Union) to social media (Lilly Singh)—about everything: career, relationships, personal style, religion, tokenism, race…. Sometimes the conversation can get difficult, but that’s something that’s rooted in Graham’s own approach to learning.

“I think everybody in today’s day and age is curious, right? There are so many different people that don’t want to be labeled, or they want to be labeled…. There are so many different backgrounds, and people are assuming this and assuming that,” she says. “What I’ve always done—especially when I first got married and I was more involved in black conversation—[is say], ‘Oh, I didn’t know that.’ You don’t know it because you don’t ask questions.” (Graham’s husband, director Justin Ervin, is black, and she credits him for a lot of her education when it comes to race and privilege.)

Graham wanted to ask those questions—the ones that can feel awkward in casual company, but get to something bigger—to help foster this curiosity, empathy, and understanding. After all, she’s been that person for many when it comes to talking about size inclusivity and body diversity in fashion, even before the Sports Illustrated cover came out. Graham’s been pushing to have these conversations for almost two decades.

Now people are listening.

Graham is well aware that she’s not the first plus-size supermodel ever. She is, however, the first curvy model to achieve certain firsts in the industry: first on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, first to walk the Michael Kors runway, first to appear on the cover of American Vogue.

“When you’re the first of something, you are always going to have to answer the hard questions,” she says. People aren’t going to like you. People are going to hate you. People are going to be confused by you because you’re the new kid in town. But if you ask me, I’m not the new kid in town—this body’s been around for centuries and now I’ve just been given a voice.”

This is something that comes up in her book as well as on the podcast: Her curviness is something that’s been an ideal in communities of color for much longer than she’s been in the fashion business. “Because I’m white and because of white privilege, I’ve been given a platform,” Graham acknowledges. “But we can’t erase all the women who came before me.” Nor those that are her contemporaries: “Now, I can also talk about the Marquita Prings, the Precious Lees, the Paloma [Elsessers]…. The list goes on and on, so why aren’t we talking about them as well?”

She continues, “I’ve had this conversation with some of my white friends, and it’s hard for them to understand what that means—the only reason I understand is because of the hard conversations that I’ve had with my husband. He’s the one who really opened my eyes to that and made me understand.”

Graham says she’s still learning. “I’ve been married to Justin for eight years now, and there are still moments where I’m like, Oh God, did I just say the wrong thing?” When that happens, though, it’s about looking for the “teachable” opportunity—much as she tries to do in her conversations on the podcast.

Having these kinds of difficult conversations at home can be hard enough, but Graham opens herself up to have them publicly too—on the air, on social media, on any platform she can. This is nothing new to her: She’s been doing this throughout her career, even with the gatekeepers of the fashion industry who, for many years, kept models like her on the sidelines.

But now that she’s in the room with so many of these stakeholders, she’ll “just bring it up naturally. Unapologetically.” For example: In February 2018, Graham was asked to be the first plus-size model to walk the Michael Kors runway during New York Fashion Week. As she tells it, she was slated to wear a gray dress with a floor-length coat, but she had a better idea. “I said to Michael, ‘Why don’t we put that cropped one, and then you’ll see my body?’ And he was like, ‘Fabulous.’ He heard me loud and clear.”

Veronica Beard dress, $595, shopbop.com. SJP by Sarah Jessica Parker heels, $325, SJP by Sarah Jessica Parker Pop-Up Shop, NYC.

In some ways, this unapologetic nudge has yielded results: She’s noticed how she can borrow samples right off the runway, including the Prabal Gurung sample she plucked from the designer’s Spring 2019 runway for a Vogue fashion conference. She was excited—proud, even—to borrow the ribbed, neon piece. But that feeling went sour fast, as commenters started speculating that the model had lost weight, with people writing on her Instagram: “Why did you lose weight? Your forms were nice,” and “You’re so tiny now…I’m so jealous.”

“It sucked that everybody had to go in on me like, ‘Oh, you lost so much weight.’ If these people actually knew me—which, you know, they don’t and maybe never will—they would know that my body just hasn’t changed,” she says. “To be completely honest, I’ve gained weight in the last five years, not lost weight. If you actually look at my IMG Polaroids from when I first signed with them to now, you can tell I’m thicker. I mean, it’s just age. Geez. Whatever!”

It’s not like Graham hasn’t heard this before—she wrote a piece for Lenny Letter back in 2016 (at the height of the Sports Illustrated cover buzz), the gist being: “I’m never going to be big enough, I’m never going to be small enough; I’m always going to be too loud, I’m always going to be too quiet; I’m never going to be good enough for anyone. So I might as well just stay in my own lane and be great enough for me.” It’s been a journey getting to this point—early in her career, she would sweat the comments and worry about how she came across on social media, but now? “I don’t care. It’s like I have this shield of armor over me.”

Still, she’ll read the comments. (She’s human, after all.) And sometimes, it hurts. (Again, human.)

“There will be one or two every once in a while, where it’ll sting,” Graham admits. “I’ll be like, Why did they say that? That is so rude. Did their mother and father just not teach them that if you have nothing good to say don’t say it at all?” But again, Graham sees the teachable moment here: “You know, sometimes I write them back—like, one guy said to me, ‘Oh, you look pregnant,’ and I wrote back, ‘Oh no, honey, that’s just fat.’

You may have heard about Graham’s vision boards—it’s a tradition she and husband have, of putting together a list of goals they want to achieve in the near future. When we awarded her a Glamour Woman of the Year Award in 2016, she told us about what was on it back then: a beauty campaign (check), a book (check), and “maybe a talk show” (check).

“God works in mysterious ways,” she says. “The first year I had put Sports Illustrated on my vision board, I got the ad in Sports Illustrated, for Swimsuits for All, so I was like, ‘OK, God, I see you.’” When Graham makes her vision boards, she focuses on goals that aren’t necessarily in process but that she knows are achievable: “It’s things that you want and are already chasing after in your own life. I’ll pray and ask God for so many things, but I’m not just sitting on my couch waiting for them to happen—I’m out there fighting and hustling and being proactive about my prayers.”

Graham admits that it’s been a minute since she’s updated her vision board because 2018 took care of itself: The launch of Pretty Big Deal was special for her—not because she’d always wanted her own podcast empire, but because she’s dreamt of having her voice be heard. “As a model, I think it’s our duty to not just be a pretty face in the world, but to actually speak up and use our platform in a bigger way,” she says. I know it’s not going to last forever, and it’s not something that I’m necessarily going to want to do forever, so what else is it out there that I want to achieve?

“Something that I’ve really learned in the podcast world is that your voice is never too small,” she continues. “In some cases, I’ve felt like my voice was so small, but it’s not. Your voice can be so loud and so heard. You just have to step up on whatever platform you have and scream it from the rooftops—like, ‘This is something I want to learn,’ Tthis is something I know,’ ‘This is something that I want to help other people with’—and don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid at all to speak up.”

Ana Colón is a fashion editor at Glamour.

Cover Image: Off-White c/o Virgil Abloh custom dress, $4,521, Em Pty Gallery, NYC. Jenny Bird cuff, $85, jenny-bird.com. Hair: Justine Marjan. Makeup: Katie Jane Hughes. Manicure: Maki Sakamoto.





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Sen. Lindsey Graham's Racist and Islamophobic Comment About Iran Re-Traumatized Me


If the past month is any indication, it’s that Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) just doesn’t get it. He’s supported men who are accused of sexual assault (fighting furiously to move forward the confirmation of now-Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh), waved his subscription to the Old Boys Club in our faces with his contempt for women, and on top of all that, I believe he just proved he is a racist bigot in the most casual of ways.

On Tuesday, Graham made an appearance on Fox & Friends to discuss Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s (D-Mass.) recent DNA tests proving she has Native American ancestry—an already racially sensitive topic due to the tokenization of indigenous people for political gain. In banter back and forth with the hosts about his plan to also take a DNA test, Graham said it would be “like, terrible” if the results showed he had Iranian heritage.

The senator said these words on live television, encouraging the already conservative audience to go forth with their biases and micro-aggressions against “eye-rain-ians.” While many instances of bias usually need to be decoded, this one was pretty straightforward.

When Graham says being Iranian is, “like, terrible,” it sounds to me like he’s saying he is better because he is white. It’s a loud and clear reminder that no matter how successful and accomplished I—an Iranian-American woman—become, how American I may feel, I am still considered a minority in this country. And now, because my parents are also Iranian, I’m “terrible.”

Not that there is much to be expected from a white South Carolinian man whose comments in the past have highlighted white male anxiety and privilege. (In a speech, he once said that white men in male-only spaces would do great under a Graham presidency.) But it must be said that this insult stands to re-traumatize Iranian-Americans and even those who follow Islam. Graham’s comment was a play on the same Islamophobia the president dabbles in, and in the larger scheme, the kind that demonized anyone from the Middle East after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.

For me, that phobia hit home. I remember it very clearly. I went to the same predominantly white, Southern school from kindergarten until I graduated high school—the one Iranian-American Muslim student. With my dark curls and impossible to pronounce name, I never felt I belonged. I got picked on for my thick brows and the homemade lunches my mom lovingly packed. And after 9/11, I was constantly asked if I was a terrorist. I was only 11 years old.

Like most middle schoolers, I just wanted to fit in. I made it a mission to whitewash myself by straightening my hair until it was damaged and dressing in the same preppy clothes my classmates owned. It still wasn’t enough. I remember begging my parents to give me an American name, one that my teachers wouldn’t butcher after awkwardly pausing on the roster. They would answer, “You have the most beautiful name; it means liberty, freedom. You are free.” I didn’t feel free. There was this deeply rooted anxiety I felt every single morning I walked into school. By the end of high school, I was tired of minimizing myself. Realizing I wouldn’t have to see these people who traumatized me for years, I stopped trying to hide who I was, and slowly reconnected with my roots. I eventually made it to New York and pursued my master’s degree in journalism at Columbia. The first line to my admissions essay was from the late travel writer, producer and chef Anthony Bourdain: I am so confused. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Of all the places, of all the countries, all the years of traveling, it’s here in Iran, that I am greeted most warmly by total strangers.

I have been able to stay focused and compartmentalize how I react to news that personally affects me—the Muslim travel ban, controversial Supreme Court nominations, the disregard of climate change, and of course, threats to silence the free press. But it wasn’t until I saw Graham’s comments on my Twitter timeline that something triggered inside me. That same anxious feeling that haunted me in the school halls crept back. I cried as I listened to those words, and I cry as I write this now. In an instant, I felt so belittled and powerless. These are the same comments I heard for years, in the same accent no less, from my classmates. I felt even sadder thinking about all the other Azadehs out there who are hiding from their roots because they’re ostracized for something they can’t control. For being an American that looks different from Graham.

I actually agree with Graham: It would be terrible for someone on his level of ignorant bigotry and racism to be Iranian. But on the bright side, his time is running out. He makes these comments out of ignorance and fear that an intolerant America will not endure. And he’s right. There is a new generation of young voters coming in and an outstanding number of fearless women whose votes next month are going to help right the currently failing course of history this great nation is straying on.

Sen. Graham, I hope someday soon you decide to take a step forward and get to know one of the undoubtedly incredible Iranian-Americans you cross paths with. I hope you realize it’s an honor to come from a rich heritage and become enlightened by our hospitality. Most of all, I hope you realize that any bad leadership you may be referencing in Iran does not speak for us or our values—just as our current administration here doesn’t speak for the majority of great Americans in this country.

You shouldn’t throw stones if you live in a glass house.


Azadeh Valanejad is a writer and video producer at Glamour. You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter @azaxdeh.

MORE: Kelly Marie Tran Wrote a Powerful Essay About the Racism She Experienced After Star Wars





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