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This Social Distancing First Date Saga on Instagram Has the Internet Talking


In the era of social distancing, people are starting to get creative about how to maintain relationships…and even start new ones.

As the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic confines Americans to their homes, friends are doing virtual drinks via Zoom and Houseparty, families are hosting game nights online, and singletons are coming up with new ways to date. One Brooklyn man’s videos about a meet-cute with a woman who lives in the apartment building across the street are currently making the rounds on Instagram and TikTok.

Photographer Jeremy Cohen’s story began on Insta and (in true internet-savvy fashion) continued on his TikTok, a move that surely gave him a surge of new followers. He tells the story of how he saw a woman dancing on her roof and after waving hello, decided to send her his number via a drone.

Cohen says flirting is usually “daunting” for him, but because of the quarantine he was crazing social interaction and took a chance. “I can’t believe this actually worked and yes this is a real story,” he wrote in the video caption.

The move worked and he got a text back! “There’s going to be a part 2 in the next couple of days, add me on tiktok if you wanna see it ?link in bio?,” he added to the caption.

The New Yorkers then had a first date complete with tiny tables and tablecloths—and wine, of course. They FaceTimed from their respective buildings while Cohen documented it all. The photographer claims he tapped his date’s roommate to help set it up.

Next, he decided to make his biggest romantic gesture yet. He rolled over to her place in a giant plastic bubble so they could take a “walk” together. They were even stopped by cops who had seen their story on the news. (Side note: did he just…have that thing lying around?)

The Internet thinks this is just about the best meet-cute ever. “Fellas, we can no longer make excuses,” one Twitter user wrote. “Expectations have been raised.”

Of course, not everyone believes this love story is genuine.

Whether it’s a real rom-com in the making or not, we were fully entertained and will be anxiously awaiting part four.



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The Internet Is My Forever Valentine


I remember that first time. It was raining, and I was an immature 17-year-old. The service was called WebTV and it ran on dial-up, the device equipped with a remote that wouldn’t work unless it was pointed directly at the control box. The connection was instant (except for when it blacked out and the whole apparatus needed to be rebooted, but whatever—worth it).

That night I fell hard for the internet.

Until then, I’d had AOL on my computer, but WebTV was better. At the time, the internet was still a half-empty stadium, full of lurkers and stragglers and curious weirdos. Even so, it was an incredible place for a person who didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts.

Most people have never needed the internet the way I do. But I suspect I’m lonelier than “most people.” I don’t know; I’m not one of them. I’m the first to admit I come from extreme privilege, which is its own differentiator. But even with the advantages that come with that status, I have always been deeply, unquenchably, profoundly lonely.(Blame it on the fact that I’m an only child, on alcoholism, on sheer DNA—I’ve always wanted out.) So it’s no surprise that I love television and books and the prospect of other worlds. I seek escape. The internet was a place where I could be whoever I wanted to be, meet whomever I wanted to meet, at all hours. For a person who never wanted to be with herself, the internet was the perfect antidote.

I’m 41 now, so I didn’t grow up with a phone that I could stare at. I grew up on a diet of landlines, busy signals (call waiting was a revelation). and televisions that stopped broadcasting late at night. It wasn’t until that fateful night that the internet came alive for me. Later, there was MySpace and then Facebook, which was then available only to kids at Ivy League schools. I dropped out of college, but soon we were all on Facebook.

I’ve mentioned Facebook, so now is a good time to mention that a lot of the internet is bad. Social media killed our attention spans. E-commerce killed retail. Amazon knows more about us than our own parents do. Our connectedness is damaged, our thoughts are fractured and fractious in a sea of ever-changing content.

But from a woman whose attention span was never so spectacular to begin with, here’s a rebuttal: The internet is wonderful. I love it here—all of us together, my fellow distracted cyborgs. All the rules about the internet—Twitter is bad!—have a flip side. Sure, the great American novel won’t be written in 280 characters, but Twitter is how I came back to writing after I’d all but given up on a career in it. And fine, each of us has a gazillion tabs open, but I’m reading more diverse voices on more platforms than I ever did before. The canon is disrupted, and thank God. Homer would have loved TikTok.

One of the biggest complaints about the internet is that—like a bad partner—it wrecked us for other relationships. But on Twitter, I found communities that doesn’t exist IRL. Twitter is a StarWars bar filled with all the smartest, weirdest people. And Twitter—for all its questionable policies and possible contributions to the death of our democratic ideals—has introduced me to editors, friends, and sources. I’ve met incredible people on Twitter and watched them find their public voices too. (George Conway, it’s been a pleasure.) Twitter has connected me to a world I never would have known.





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The Internet Has Thoughts About Kim Kardashian's Christmas Wrapping Paper


It’s no secret that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have adopted a very neutral aesthetic in recent years—look no further than Kim’s muted wardrobe, their extremely minimalist home decor or their low-key 2019 Christmas card to prove it. So it’s fitting that, for the holidays, the famous duo has also opted for an equally colorless palette.

Kardashian took to social media on Friday (December 20) to share pictures of her family’s wrapped Christmas gifts. She explained the look, writing, “West Holiday wrapping this year! Each year every family member pics a color and vibe so we know who the gifts are from. This year we chose creamy velvet!”

The velvet swaddled gifts are a look to say the least. Many on Instagram wondered how you can even wrap gifts with thick fabric (how do you tape it closed?) while others found the presents lacking in festive cheer thanks to the beige tones and absence of traditional holiday motifs. (Don’t expect to see a snowman or Rudolph under the Kardashian-West tree.)

“Who told Kim Kardashian that it was cute to wrap gifts in bed sheets… she really tried it,” one person tweeted. “This [is] worse than wrapping your textbook in a paper bag when you ran out of book covers,” another added.

While another person on Instagram jokingly compared them to Star Wars: “How many Sand Raiders from Tatooine were hurt in the wrapping of these presents?” they penned.

Meanwhile, others appreciated Kardashian-Wests eco-friendly approach to the holidays.

“Great reusable gift wrapping…no trees hurt! Good going usable year after year after year…..Never out of style! Love it,” one person commented on Instagram. Another wrote, “At least they’re not wasting paper!”

This isn’t the first time Kardashian has divided the Internet with her Christmas decor. Earlier this month, the KKW entrepreneur shared the all-white “whimsical” and “Whoville”-inspired trees in her home. While some called the Seussian decorations unique and chic, others were left comparing the decorations to tampons and cotton balls.



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Kelly Bachman Called out Harvey Weinstein and the Internet Went Wild. Now What?


But the fact is writing a funny joke about rape trauma is not an easy task. In the last month, I’ve written a new 15-minute set all about it, and I’ll be honest with you… It is very hit or miss. I am bombing, to be clear. If you’re (mercifully) unfamiliar with bombing, it’s when you make a joke, and no one laughs, but you keep going, usually desperately trying to resuscitate life back into a dead room of unimpressed audience members.

Every comedian has to bomb in order to learn, but of course it does not feel good. Bombing with a set of new jokes about your rape, is a very particular not-good feeling. Sometimes after I bomb on a set full of trauma jokes, the next comic up opens their set with a gag in which victims are the punchline. The joke usually kills, a little relief for the audience after my set. I don’t think people do it to hurt me, but sometimes it does hurt. I get a little emotional. Fine. I full on sob in public. Last time it happened, someone asked if I was upset about my set, and I yelled out, “NO, OF COURSE NOT, IT’S ALLERGIES!”

Which is true. I am clearly allergic…to my vulnerability.

I don’t want to censor other comedians, but I’ll admit it can be emotionally exhausting for me to hear, especially knowing what everyone knows about me. Sometimes I actually catch myself forcing a loud laugh, just in case someone is looking at me, gauging how I react. I don’t want to let them see me not laughing at a rape punchline. “HAHAHAHA! WHATEVER, IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL,” I might as well say. “LOOK AT ME. I’M A NORMAL, NOT-RAPED COMIC! I’M NORMAL LIKE YOU! HAHA, I’M JUST LIKE YOU! YOU CAN’T HURT ME! I’M INVINCIBLE!”

(Out here in the real world, odds are no one is looking at me, and I’m not even crossing their minds, but that’s trauma brain.)

The scariest part of trauma brain is knowing that even if 95,000 people out there on the Internet are rooting for me, I can still find a room where I will be met with booing or the words, “Shut up.” That would be the case whether I told rape jokes or not—again, all comics have to bomb. But bombing while attempting to work through trauma is just a tough pill to swallow.



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Ryan Reynolds Trolled That Conversational Peloton Ad and the Internet Has Thoughts


Ryan Reynolds loves a good Internet troll—just ask his wife Blake Lively—so it should probably come as no surprise that he wasted no time weighing in on that controversial Peloton ad that took over social media last week. In a new commercial for his Aviation American Gin brand, Reynolds recruited the wide-eyed Peloton wife (actress Monica Ruiz) and gave her a script that implies she finally escaped her exercise bike, and perhaps, the husband who gave it to her.

Just to quickly recap: The Peloton ad—which shows a woman receiving a Peloton bike from her husband for Christmas, then tracking her progress over the year by vlogging her rides—touched a nerve with millions of people. Critics called it everything from “sexist” to “body shaming,” while others joked that the woman’s eyes were practically screaming “Get me out of here!” It seems like Reynolds took the latter idea and ran with it, because his ad involves the woman sitting at a bar, looking completely dazed and exhausted, while having a drink with her friends. “This gin is really smooth,” is all she says before her pals chime in with, “We can get you another one, if you’d like” and “You’re safe here.” (Fun fact: One of the friends is Mercedes from cycle two of America’s Next Top Model.)

The whole thing is subtle and the only obvious dig on the ad is when one of the woman’s friends says off-camera, “You look great, by the way!” But Reynolds did make sure we got the joke on his Instagram, where he posted the ad with the caption, “Exercise bike not included.”

For the most part, people laughed about Reynolds extending the Peloton wife saga.

The Peloton Wife actress also shared a message that shows the whole thing was meant in tongue-in-cheek—and that she was ready to brush off the controversy over the original commercial. “So much fun with these girls. Let’s make light of this!! Cheers!!” she wrote.

Ruiz also gave a statement to CNN saying that despite the backlash to the Peloton ad, she’s glad she got the gig. “I was happy to accept a job opportunity earlier this year from Peloton and the team was lovely to work with,” she said. “Although I’m an actress, I am not quite comfortable being in spotlight and I’m terrible on social media. So to say I was shocked and overwhelmed by the attention this week (especially the negative) is an understatement.” That said, getting the call from Reynolds certainly helped. “When Ryan and his production team called about Aviation Gin, they helped me find some humor in the situation,” she said.

But really, who wouldn’t want a call from him? No offense, Blake.



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Elizabeth Warren Brilliantly Answered a Question About Same-Sex Marriage—And the Internet Loves It


Last night CNN and the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) hosted an Equality Town Hall with 2020 Democratic presidential candidates to discuss LGBTQ+ issues. A wide range of important topics were discussed, including banning conversion therapy and lifting restrictions on gay men donating blood. But there was one standout moment that made the internet go wild, and it came from Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass).

At one point HRC chairman Morgan Cox posed a question to Warren: “Someone approaches you and says ‘Senator, I’m old-fashioned, and my faith teaches me that marriage is between one man and one woman’—what is your response?”

Warren, arms folded, grin wicked, didn’t miss a beat. “Well, I’m gonna assume it’s a guy who said that,” she said as the audience started to laugh. “And I’m gonna say, ‘Well, then just marry one woman. I’m cool with that!’”

After a pause so impeccable Lorne Michaels should recruit her to play herself on SNL, Warren added: “Assuming you can find one!” The crowd went nuts—and so did Twitter.

Watch the moment for yourself below.

“@SenWarren this was ? ???,” USWNT star Megan Rapinoe tweeted.

“The TIMING. The DELIVERY. The TWINKLE IN HER EYE. I can’t wait to see Elizabeth Warren wipe the debate stage with Donald Trump’s haystack of a toupee,” Sam Stryker wrote.

“This is a perfect response to homophobic religious bigots. Elizabeth Warren is a legend. #EqualityTownHall,” another person wrote on Twitter.

Seriously, the social media responses were almost as good as Warren’s own answer. “Elizabeth Warren just ended homophobia,” one user wrote. “Willing to vote for @SenWarren based on her comedic timing alone at this point,” another said.

Earlier in the day, singer Melissa Etheridge publicly endorsed Warren for president and noted her support of the LGBTQ community. “Elizabeth Warren understands the LGBTQ community and the needs we have,” she said. “On this National Coming Out Day I am officially pledging my support for her candidacy for president. Let’s move forward with the woman that has a plan for our future.”



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