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A 'Scandal' and 'How to Get Away With Murder' Crossover Episode Is in the Works


Scandal and How to Get Away With Murder have a lot in common. For one, they’re both created by Shonda Rhimes, but the similarities run deeper than that. Each show centers on a woman of color who’s the head of some large, high-stress entity. On Scandal, for example, Kerry Washington plays Olivia Pope, the owner and operator of a crisis communications firm. Meanwhile, Viola Davis leads How to Get Away With Murder as Annalise Keating, who runs a law firm of sorts from her own home. In each episode Pope’s and Davis’ companies take on a new client and case—and all the drama that comes with it. Of course, the shows have slightly deviated from their original formats, but there’s no denying they share DNA. They’re far more similar to each other than Rhimes’ other long-running show, Grey’s Anatomy, which takes place predominantly in a hospital.

So it’s no surprise that fans have been campaigning for a Scandal and HTGAWM crossover episode for quite some time—and they’re finally getting their wish. Deadline reports that ABC is plotting a special that will combine these two Shondaland worlds for the first time ever. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of 2,000 red wine bottles popping open in celebration.

ABC hasn’t commented on Deadline’s report, but Washington seemed to confirmed the news on Instagram. She posted a photo of herself, seemingly in Olivia Pope garb, on the set of HTGAWM. “Hey Ms @violadavis ❤️ check it out. This spot look familiar?! Where are you?” she wrote. Check it out for yourself, below:

Both shows return on January 18—and it’s Scandal‘s last season, so that means this crossover episode is coming sooner than you think. (If it exists, at least. Please let it exist!)

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The Bachelor Season 22 Episode 1 Recap: Arie Luyendyk Jr. Meets His Contestants


Well, here we are: another season of The Bachelor with a guy nobody asked for. Perhaps I’m being too hard on Arie Luyendyk Jr., but was it not difficult to watch him struggle through the rose ceremony without dreaming of Hot Peter, Eric, or Kenny in his place? Maybe they’ll get their turn in five years. But for now, Arie it is. So as Becca would say, let’s do the damn thing.

We start with a re-introduction to Arie and a dramatic cut to five years ago, when he was on Emily Maynard’s season. This flashback might not have been the best choice, though, because it really shows how much time has passed—and how much the lighting and makeup budgets have increased. Arie is super sweaty in these scenes! At one point, you even see a blemish on his neck as he leans in to kiss Emily. Nope.

The show also uses these flashbacks to hammer in that Emily broke Arie’s heart and that’s why he hasn’t found love or been in a serious relationship since. Uh huh. Sure. We’re even reminded that Arie flew all the way to Charlotte after Emily’s season ended just to leave his journal on her doorstep. This is a move that is adorable and romantic if you’re into the guy and extremely creepy and troubling if you are not. If you want to know how Emily felt about it, consider this: She didn’t even read the journal.

“The chemistry and the passion really pushed our relationship
forward.” – Arie, trying—and failing—to convince us that he and Emily
had chemistry and passion.

Now, five years later, Arie has salt and pepper hair, he’s selling real estate, and he claims he’s ready for the next step. Everyone he knows is married and has kids, so he doesn’t want to be left out. Speaking of, Sean Lowe shows up to serve as a character witness for Arie. We get it, ABC: You really, really want us to like Arie. Sean and Catherine bring their son, Samuel, for a chat with Arie and Samuel (via Sean) offers some good advice: Always treat the girls with respect. Yes, do that. Please, please, please do that.

“The point is: The guy’s a catch.” – Chris Harrison, doing his best to
talk up Arie.

Finally, it’s time to meet the women. First up is Chelsea, a single mom from Portland who works in real estate. Her friend’s advice is to “crush it.” K. Next is Caroline, who also works in real estate. (Sensing a theme here.) She brags that she’s really good at her job and makes a ton of money, and I admire her bravado. There is an incredibly awkward scene where a client asks if she has any kids (kind of rude to assume that, lady); Caroline stumbles over her answer because she really wants children one day—the only measure of a good and moral woman in Bachelor Universe. Caroline is excited about Arie because they have realty in common and she “grew up around cars.” As far as I can tell so far, cars and realty are the only two interests Arie has so she should do well.

We meet Maquel, a professional photographer with grating vocal fry, followed by Nysha, who went sky diving for her 30th birthday. Nysha’s also a nurse who loves being around blood and gross things. I think I love her.

From Nysha we move on to Tia, who lives in Weiner, Arkansas. If you think The Bachelor won’t take this opportunity to make 1,000 dick jokes, you are very, very wrong. In addition to making Weiner puns, Tia shoots guns and goes fishing for fun. And OMG she knows Raven! Turns out, Raven is the one who convinced Tia to audition for the show. (PS: I think there’s a big missed opportunity that Raven’s boutique is not called That’s So Raven.)

Next up is Kendall. She’s obviously our “quirky” contestant because she collects taxidermy. The segment ends with her singing to a stuffed seal, so there’s that.

“I’ve never had a relationship over a year but with taxidermy I can
keep it forever!” – Kendall

Moving on: Bekah is 22, has the eyes of a Disney princess, and rocks a gorgeous pixie haircut.

PHOTO: Paul Hebert

Marikh is a 27-year-old who owns an Indian restaurant with her mom and has Kardashian-level contouring skills. Krystal from San Diego is a fitness coach, and she volunteers for the homeless because her little brother has been living on the streets for the last two years. She wants to help him, but he’s just not ready for it yet, so she helps others instead. Nothing snarky to say here—that is a genuinely moving story.

Time to dry my tears, though, because the limos are here!!!!!!!

“I’m just going to speak for everybody…How have you not found love? I know you’ve been in
relationships. You think, OK one of these times it’s going to work for
him, and it just never has.” – Chris Harrison, shady as ever

First out of the limo is my girl Caroline. She makes a cheesy realtor joke about them both being “off the market.” Ehhh, I guess somebody had to do it. They play some strange music over Chelsea’s intro that I can’t tell if it’s implying she’s crazy or sexy. Possibly both? Kendall, however, gets quirky music because of course.

“Oh my God, what a STUD.” – an excited woman who would probably enjoy Magic Mike Live

Next is Seinne, another person who works in real estate. Did producers just contact agencies around the country and ask for their most attractive single woman? Wouldn’t put it past them. Tia gives Arie a little weiner as a gift, as one does. “Please tell me you don’t already have a little weiner,” she jokes. Called it: If Tia makes it to hometowns, this will be the season of endless penis puns.

“Not only is he handsome, but he’s welcoming.” – Chelsea about Arie, a
man who pretty much only said “hi” to her.

The parade continues: Bibiana wants to get with Arie so her babies can have his blue eyes. Brianna is overly impressed that Arie can catch a softball. Jenny seems sweet. Brittane puts a “nice butt” bumper stick on Arie, and I actually laughed because my expectations at this point are so low. Jacqueline seems too normal to be here. Then we get to Krystal, who speaks in a Marilyn Monroe-esque whisper. Nysha shows up just as the women in the house start freaking out about how many attractive women are arriving. Uh, what show did you think you were signing up for?

“Let’s just say that the hair is down and the boobs are out.” – Chelsea
describing every Bachelor rose ceremony since the dawn of time.

Valerie gets out of the limo and immediately strikes a pose. Bekah shows up in a classic red Mustang. She’s got a choker, a short dress, and cute hair. She came to PLAY.

“That cherry red looks better on your lips, bitch.” – Chelsea, clearly
auditioning for the role of Corinne this season.

Jenna arrives and seems kinda…tipsy? I don’t want to make assumptions, but she is a little too wobbly and speech slurry. Arie is really feeling her, though. Jessica is very perky, so much so that Arie is even charmed by her gift of a random rock. Marikh makes a joke about his salt and pepper hair because someone had to.

Valerie starts stressing about how many women are here, but more just keep on coming: Olivia, who is 23 and loved Arie’s season (when she was 18???). Becca cons Arie into proposing. Arie loves Lauren S.’s energy. Lauren J. arrives next, and everybody is thrown off that there are two blonde Laurens. It’s not over yet, though: Lauren B. and Lauren G arrive too.

Now that the sea of Laurens are here we can move on to new names: Ashley brought a racing flag, going for the obvious. Arie even predicts her joke before she says it: “Are we going to make it to the finish line?” Brittany stumbles through some Dutch. Amber jokes that she sees a lot of [bleeps] but she hopes he’s not one. Ali requests a smell check. No, nope, immediate grounds for dismissal. Annaliese arrives and Arie is immediately handsy with her. Ew.

Finally we get to Maquel, the last arrival. She shows up in a racing car and everyone’s very jealous. There are many references to the fact that “the race is on” and that she’s “coming in fast and furious” and, oh God, I cannot do this season.

“He has a full head of hair.” – Bekah, really searching for compliments
about Arie

Everyone has arrived, so it’s time for Arie to give a very boring and bland speech about this journey. Chelsea swoops and grabs Arie first. Yup, she’s definitely aiming to be this year’s Corinne. But then, DRAMA: Chelsea is mad because Maquel interrupts her conversation with Arie about real estate exams. Darling, she did you a favor. Chelsea starts complaining to anyone who will listen that she didn’t get enough time, as if anyone cares. Side note: the vocal fry is out of control. Everyone sounds like they work for PubLIZity:

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Later, Brittany sets up a race in tiny toy cars and, OK, I’m into it. This damn show makes everything seem so charming. Brittany wins and collects her prize: a kiss. Naturally, the other girls are upset about this and Chelsea stars losing her cool.

ARIE LUYENDYK JR., BRITTANY T.

PHOTO: Paul Hebert

We’re at the point in the night when weird shit starts happening: Quirky Kendall sings to Arie, and he seems uncomfortable. Someone feeds him pizza, another brings pineapple, and Jenna gives him a pedicure or…something? He’s confused but intrigued.

Around this time, Chris Harrison brings out the first impression rose. The pressure is on: Women start swarming Arie with mania in their eyes to talk to him. I would be so scared.

“I want to know more about you, though. We only have a short amount of
time.” – Arie “OK, I’m a libra!” – Krystal

With a wild look in her eye, Chelsea steals more time with Arie. Because she came to win, she goes in for a full-on makeout. Like, mouth wide open. It’s…a lot. After their kiss, she immediately goes into a room full of women and reveals that she had a second chat with Arie. Eye roll. Clearly she wants to stir up drama/brag/make the others feel like shit, otherwise you’d keep. That. To. Yourself. Her gamble worked, though, because she gets the first impression rose. Maybe she’ll calm down now?

As the sun rises, the rose ceremony begins. Roses go to Becca, Marikh, Kendall, Lauren G., Krystal, Bekah, Lauren S., Sienne, Caroline, Brittany, Bibiana, Annaliese, Jenna, Valerie, Jacqueline, Jenny, Lauren B., Ashley, Tia, and Maquel.

Well, friends, we did it. May the rest of this season give us lots of laughs, lots of tears, lots of drama, and very little Arie screen time. See you next week!



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'The Big Bang Theory' Season 11 Episode 11 Recap: Penny and Leonard Contemplate Their Future


The Big Bang Theory has never shied away from uncomfortable and necessary topics—take last week’s Raj and Howard fight or Bernadette’s pregnancy concerns, for example—but tonight the writers finally tackled the most annoying holiday tradition ever: the year-in-review letter.

You know what I’m talking about: the two-sided note from the friend/old co-worker/cousin you haven’t talked to in years. The one that brags about their kids’ achievements, a summer vacation to Fiji, a huge promotion, or surprise engagement—sometimes all of the above! Then there’s always that sentence at the end that goes something like this: “Hope your year has been as wonderful as ours! Thinking of you always!” And, of course, it’s accompanied by a staged photograph with everyone dressed in the same color scheme or matching pajamas. [Insert eye roll here.]

On the mid-season finale of The Big Bang Theory—titled “The Celebration Reverberation”—Leonard is the unwilling recipient this time, thanks to a Christmas letter from his brother who just built a hospital in Rwanda. That’s wonderful, of course, but it brings me to the part no one thinks about when they send those letters: You start feeling down about everything that hasn’t happened for you. Leonard is no different and starts obsessing over achievements he can put on his own list, err, dry-erase board.

PHOTO: Michael Yarish/Warner Bros.

So, Leonard asks Penny if she can think of a single cool thing they did this year. Penny mentions that they both have great jobs, but Leonard reminds her that the Air Force took his project away and she’s not crazy about selling pharmaceuticals. “I’ll just write down, ‘still employed!'” Leonard deadpans. The Hofstadters also celebrated their second anniversary, but they both forgot about it. “Maybe write down, ‘still married,'” Penny suggests. Leonard asks what else, but Penny says that’s probably enough before going through old photos to jog their memory.

By the next morning, Leonard still can’t stop thinking of his year-in-review list. The only new entries on the board, though, are “built Ikea desk” and “kept fern alive.” I don’t know about you, but I’d totally consider construction and saving a plant worthwhile achievements. Still, Leonard’s not impressed. Even though Penny says the whole thing is silly and their lives are great, he feels like everyone’s moving forward and they’re stuck. “We’ve been married two years,” he says. “Should we think about what’s next? Like buying a house or having a baby?”

While you can’t fault Leonard for thinking about what’s next for him and Penny, the fact that society pressures us to categorize big life moments as achievements anyway is perhaps part of the problem. Having kids is wonderful, but that shouldn’t take anything away from the person who decides it’s not for them. Penny notes that she wants to do “all those things someday, but there’s a bunch of stuff I want to do first.” Leonard asks what that is, and she responds, “Stay thin and have money.” Penny’s comment was funny, but it spoke to a larger truth that oftentimes there’s joy in the status quo. In fact, we should celebrate that more often.

Another thing to celebrate: Instead of using the moment to embark Penny and Leonard on a life change they’re not ready for yet, the writers kept the moment small, with Penny suggesting they go on a big trip outside the confines of Pasadena. It was a strong baby step for a couple that hasn’t always been on the same page. Which brings me to another important moment: Achievements aside, it showed that Penny and Leonard have gotten really good at communicating with one another. Last season, Penny and Leonard were often at odds with each other. This season, though, they’re stronger than ever. So kudos to the writers for showing the real ups and downs of a long-term relationship—honestly, Leonard should a year-end letter about that.



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'Riverdale' Season 2 Episode 9 Recap: The Black Hood Is Finally Unmasked


Love triangles, family fights, and an unmasked Black Hood—tonight’s Riverdale episode was a doozy. Here’s what went down (spoilers ahead):

We open with Archie and Jughead looking sad at Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe, talking about how they’ve royally screwed things up with Veronica and Betty. Apparently, Kevin’s having a Secret Santa party, which Jughead sarcastically says is a “great” idea. Two minutes in and I’m already losing my patience with him. Like, stop being a Grinch and insulting one of the best characters on the show! You don’t have the range! Your name is Jughead!

Meanwhile, Betty has a straight-up terrifying nightmare about the Black Hood that’s very Twin Peaks meets Black Christmas.

Over at Perfect Cheryl’s house, Penelope Blossom goes on some morbid rant about how they’re poor and not putting something in Jason’s stocking this year for Christmas because he’s dead. Yikes. I mean, I’m relieved Cheryl’s back to having her own storyline as opposed to playing second fiddle to Kevin, Josie, etc. She is the shining star of this ridiculous show, and it’s high time for the writers to realize it. Later in the episode, she blows a bunch of money on Christmas decorations and tells her mom that she should pay for them by getting a job with the Lodges. She’s an absolute queen.

We’re back to Archie (this show jumps fast), who is incredulous at his dad’s $86,000 hospital bill. He’s probably going to start an inane Red Circle-adjacent group to raise money, TBH.

Ugh, and now the Jughead subplot I don’t care about: He has an idea about how he and F.P. can deal with their Penny Peabody issue—remember, F.P. took over Jughead’s debt to her—but F.P. doesn’t want to hear it. He’s funneling drugs with the Serpents like it’s NBD and tells Jughead to “go to school.” I mean, all of these kids should go to school.

Cut to Secret Santa: Archie got Betty some sentimental gift, and it’s clear Veronica’s feeling some type of way about it. B and A have a chat in the hallway and realize that Mr. Svenson, the creepy janitor who we thought was the Black Hood last week, is gone from the school. Betty and Jughead then have a confrontation about their issues, but nothing’s resolved. Betty says it’s her choice to join the Serpents and be at risk even if it worries Jughead, which is true. They exchange presents but don’t open them, so stay tuned for that nonsense.

Archie and Veronica have a conversation, too. She gives him a watch, and he blabs about how his dad owes $86,000 to the hospital. The Lodges are definitely going to pay this off… (Well, maybe not. Veronica quasi asks her dad, Hiram, about this, and he flips.)

Later, Archie and Betty put on their detective hats and go to Svenson’s house to see if he’s actually there. They think the Black Hood killed him, which is so GD extreme but not far-fetched for this show. Unsurprisingly, Svenson doesn’t answer the door—BUT THE BLACK HOOD DOES SEND BETTY A SEVERED FINGER. Who’s finger is it?! What the hell?! I’m repulsed and horrified.

Update: The finger seems to belong to Svenson, the janitor, per a note left by the Black Hood. The Black Hood then calls Betty and says that Svenson—whose real name is Joseph Conway, the sole survivor of the Riverdale Reaper murders—has lost a lot of blood. The only way to save him is for Archie and Betty to “exhume the past” and determine where the “cardinal sin” of the town was committed. Like, what the fuck is even happening at this point? The crux of this Black Hood case is on the shoulders of this random janitor?!

To learn more about Svenson/Joseph Conway, Archie and Betty go to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, the convent where he lived before getting adopted. They find out that when he was young, Svenson/Joseph Conway identified the wrong person as the Riverdale Reaper; a group of citizens took matters into their own hands and killed the man he accused, who turned out to be innocent. That was the cardinal sin. The nuns don’t remember the people who murdered this innocent dude, but they say one of them, a woman, had white hair with a cherry-red stripe (a.k.a Cheryl Blossom’s grandmother, Nana Rose). Dun, dun, duuun!

Before we learn more about that, though, Jughead and F.P. have a stupid fight about the Serpent’s drug cartel business. Penny Peabody really has this gang by the throat, man. F.P. straight-up says that whatever she wants, she’ll get—no matter how many Serpents it takes. This is all ridiculously, tragically dull. Jughead says the solution to this situation is to murder Penny Peabody. Again, extreme, but he gets the other Serpents to agree to it. They kidnap Penny, literally cut off her Serpent tattoo, and drive her out of Riverdale. F.P.’s pissed about it.

Meanwhile, Veronica discovers that her parents bought Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe and lied to her face about it. She uses this as an incentive to pay for Fred Andrews’ medical expenses with Hermione’s credit card…without her knowledge. They have a big family blowout, and the truth about the Lodges comes out. But we don’t know what that “truth” is—not yet.

This Black Hood nonsense is really getting out of hand. Nana Rose tells Archie and Betty the man Conway accused of being the Riverdale Reaper was buried alive. Betty’s grandfather was allegedly one of the people who did it—and there’s photographic proof. Betty starts freaking out about how the Black Hood is targeting her because of this connection. Archie says tonight’s the night they unmask the Black Hood and end things, and this tense conversation concludes with Archie and Betty kissing. Um, WHAT?! In what world do you go from hysterics to making out in point-five seconds? I’m done.

Archie and Betty find the location of where the man accused of being the Riverdale Reaper was buried and go to it. They think Conway/Svenson could be there, too. They dig up an empty coffin, and that’s when the IRL Black Hood shows up with a gun. He orders Archie to get into the coffin and for Betty to shut it…and bury him alive. But the sound of police sirens startles the Black Hood: Betty hits him over the head with a shovel, unburies Archie, and they run away. But the Black Hood is gone! They start chasing after him and confront him with a gun to his head. Sexy Sheriff Keller comes in at just the right time, shoots the Black Hood, and unmasks him: It’s Svenson/Conway, the janitor. This is the most disappointing reveal of all time.

Now, it’s happy Christmas time. Blah. Penelope Blossom’s hooking up with some random dude. Betty got Jughead the “typewriter of champions,” which means his pretentious prose will rage on for another season. Jughead got Betty some dumb book. Archie got Veronica a locket with their faces on it. Cute. They later kiss, and Veronica finally says, “I love you,” but little does she know Archie and Betty were making out, like, five seconds ago. Someone anonymously snaps photos of them kissing, though, so that’s probably going to be a thing when the season returns.

Betty burns all her Black Hood research while wearing a twinkly Christmas sweater. But, weirdly, she doesn’t burn her Black Hood, and it’s implied all this murderous drama “isn’t over.”

Parting thoughts: I officially don’t care about the Black Hood. Happy holidays, people!

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This Riverdale Theory About the Black Hood’s Identity Seems Right After Last Night’s Episode



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'The Big Bang Theory' Season 11 Episode 10 Recap: Raj and Howard Break Up Their Friendship


Tonight’s episode of The Big Bang Theory almost resulted in Sheldon and Amy’s wedding—but for diehard Shamy shippers, City Hall vows were thankfully not in the cards. Long-time fans of the couple have been hoping for a big wedding, and it seems that’s exactly what they’ll get.

To recap, Sheldon and Amy were fighting so much that they thought a no-frills wedding at the clerk’s office would solve everything. Sheldon, however, came to his senses and recognized that he needs a brain transplant. OK, not really, but he did finally act like a decent adult when he realized a successful relationship involves really listening to a partner’s wants and dreams. In this case, that’s a proper wedding to Amy with a real first dance and plenty of Little House on the Prairie references. As for when—well, that’s anyone’s guess, but at least things are finally moving in a more positive direction.

But the true heart of tonight’s episode—titled “The Confidence Erosion”—was Raj. This moment in the spotlight has been a long time coming: For years, the character has been the brunt of cheap jokes, ranging from his accent to his metrosexual tendencies. By now, those jokes have become outdated and stale. Raj knows this, but he’s never been one to make too much of anything. That all changed tonight, though, when Raj’s dad encouraged his son to take a long hard look at how Howard—Raj’s BFF—has treated him.

Raj tried to defend his friend—”Howard doesn’t mean anything by it. I think it’s cultural. His people come from a very sarcastic village called Brooklyn.”—but Raj’s father wasn’t hearing it. “Don’t make excuses,” he said. “What kind of friend acts that way? A bad friend!”

Dr. Koothrappali’s words stuck with Raj, who later went over to Penny and Leonard’s apartment to get their opinion. While Leonard agreed that Howard does make fun of Raj a lot, Penny dismissed it as good fun. “That’s just want friends do,” she said. “They bust on each other. It doesn’t mean anything.” That’s rather ironic coming from Penny, who has been the brunt of lame jokes from the guys for the better part of 200 episodes. Of course, she hasn’t been the nicest person either—especially to her husband—who called her out on her behavior.

But let’s get back to Raj, who later crushed it in this exchange with Howard:

Howard: Wanna grab some lunch?
Raj: No, I don’t think so.
Howard: Lemme guess, you’re not eating because the mean girls circled your chubby bits in marker.
Raj: No, that, that right there! That’s the reason. You’re always making fun of me.
Howard: Those are just jokes. It’s my way of saying we’re friends. And it wouldn’t hurt you to drop a few!
Raj: See, no wonder I don’t have any confidence.
Howard: Come on, you can’t blame that on me!
Raj: Why not? 15 years of constant ridicule! I think our relationship has become toxic.
Howard: What are you saying?
Raj: I think you and I need to spend some time away from each other.
Howard: Look, I can see you’re upset, but I’m gonna need some ground rules. While we’re apart, can I see other needy Indian men?
Raj: GET OUT!

If that didn’t make Howard look like enough of an ass, then the fact that he later told Leonard and Sheldon that “Raj is trying to blame me for his pathetic life,” surely did.

PHOTO: Monty Brinton/CBS

And then, in a moment we never thought we’d see on the show, Raj showed up to Penny and Leonard’s with his natural hair. He revealed that when he first moved to the United States, he wanted to fit in: Because Howard’s hair was straight and he was the coolest person he knew, he took his lead.

The moment represents a breakthrough for Raj, who truly seems ready to embrace his authentic self. He doesn’t need Howard to be his therapist and leave him smiley face stickers on his lunch tray, but he certainly doesn’t need him to bring him down either. So, after Raj bombed an interview earlier in the episode to conduct presentations at the Planetarium, he mustered up the courage to go back to the hiring committee and make a stronger case for himself. His newfound confidence (and a little help from external circumstances) helps him get hired, but it’s a bittersweet achievement given that he can’t go and tell his best friend. Leonard urges him to do so anyway, but Raj remains steadfast in his decision. “No, I don’t need his negative energy in my life right now,” he explained. “Standing up to him was hard, but it made me realize I can do anything.”

It was a profound moment for myriad reasons, namely that by the time the credits rolled, Raj and Howard hadn’t reconciled. They may very well next week, but it was nice to see the weight of Raj’s feelings act as a connective tissue through each scene. He was undoubtedly sad to cut Howard out of his life, but empowered by his ability to do so. If and when the two repair their friendship, it will only be because Howard has understood the hurt caused by his actions, and Raj finally understands his worth.



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'Riverdale' Season 2 Episode 8 Recap: Are Betty and Archie Going to Hook Up?


Tonight’s Riverdale episode started in the greatest way possible: Veronica and Archie having sex. Everywhere. This is how they’re coping with the masked lunatic wreaking havoc around town, apparently, and I’m cool with it. Archie says, “I love you” to Veronica, which freaks her out because that’s what always happens on TV shows. Someone always freaks out when they hear that phrase, but in real life people have way more chill.

Meanwhile, the Riverdale Reaper, whom we learned about last week, is legitimate. Still, Jughead doesn’t think he’s the Black Hood because he’s 60 years old. (“I’m dubious,” Jughead said specifically, like the pretentious monster he is.) Ironically, though, the house where the Black Hood sent Betty belonged to the family who was murdered by the Riverdale Reaper: the Conways. Connections!

Switching gears a bit: F.P. Jones is getting out of jail, which is great, but I also don’t care. This causes Betty and Jughead to drop their Riverdale Reaper/Black Hood lead, so they ask Archie and Veronica to take over….and that’s a big mistake. They literally can’t stop having sex!

Speaking of sex: It’s beyond obvious Cheryl wants to bone Josie. Like, she pulls out a bottle of lavender when they’re changing in the locker room and starts massaging her. They’d honestly be the hottest couple on this show, so I ship them.

“Take your male gaze and your male privilege and get out of the women’s locker room!” — Cheryl, icon.

Veronica’s parents are starting to ship her and Archie, too, but their reasoning is convoluted. The Black Hood sent a letter to the Lodge residence saying he’s going to start punishing them for their “sins,” so Hiram and Hermione want Archie to spend more time with Veronica because he’s “brawny and devoted to her.” That, in a nutshell, is my type.

And LOL, it’s hilarious how little I care about Jughead’s storyline. He’s made himself the makeshift leader of the Serpents and suggests the gang meet with Mayor McCoy to “get the South Side back.” Everyone’s in favor, except for Tall Boy, but their tête-à-tête ends because Jughead has to go pick up F.P. from jail. Blah, blah, blah.

Wow, they’re really making a mountain out of a molehill with this whole, “Archie said, ‘I love you’ but Veronica didn’t” subplot. Everyone just needs to relax and focus on their SATs. Don’t these kids have SATs?

Nope, but they do have murder mysteries to solve. Archie and Veronica visit Sheriff Keller’s station to inquire about the Riverdale Reaper. Their investigation leads them to the house where the Black Hood lured Betty, a.k.a the Devil’s House.

The Riverdale Reaper murder is essentially a carbon copy of The Amityville Horror, BTW, but let’s just blaze past that. It turns out the family murdered by him actually has five members, but only four died. So there’s a third child out there who’s now grown-up. The Black Hood?!

Maybe. Veronica and Archie learn this boy’s real name, Joseph Conway, and find out he changed his last name to Svenson after the murders. Joseph Svenson, interestingly, is the name of the creepy janitor who’s been lurking around the past two episodes. They’re the same person. Archie and Veronica go to confront Joseph, and he claims the Riverdale Reaper is dead. They ultimately conclude he’s not the Black Hood and move on…so this whole side narrative was for nothing.

Meanwhile, F.P. gets out of jail, and there’s clear sexual tension between him and Alice Cooper. Imagine if they got together? It’d be like Rufus Humphrey and Lily van der Woodsen getting together on Gossip Girl! Anyway, he’s in AA and wants to leave the Serpents, which doesn’t sit well with Jughead, who, remember, is now a full Serpent. They have an argument about it, but F.P. ultimately allows Jughead to stay with the Serpents…without him. Again, this narrative is so boring. Betty suggests throwing F.P. a “retiring from the Serpents” party, which sounds both dull and dumb.

But wait, this twist isn’t dull and dumb: Because F.P. is leaving the Serpents, Betty now wants to join to “keep an eye on Jughead.” In order to join, though, she has to do some misogynistic stripper dance. WTF?!

Also WTF: Penny Peabody, the sketchy Serpent lawyer who’s now blackmailing Jughead, calls Jughead and says she has another job for him. He refuses, and she threatens to harm Betty. He still doesn’t take the bait.

Alice Cooper, former Serpent, and Betty show up to F.P.’s party together. Alice starts doing tequila shots and is immediately my hero. Veronica and Archie talk about their “I love you” kerfuffle at this party, too, but they don’t resolve anything and it’s awkward. They then sing because why the hell not?

And then Betty does it! She dances! On a stripper pole! In lingerie! In front of her mother and Jughead and everybody! Like, Betty can do whatever she wants, but this just felt awkward and forced and strange. F.P. then says he’s not retiring from the Serpents—but this isn’t a choice. Penny Peabody agreed to alleviate Jughead from his obligations to her if F.P. stands in his place. This is all so Gangs of New York.

“He’s brawny and devoted to you.” — Hermione Lodge describing Archie (and also my type)

We ends things with trouble in paradise for both couples: Veronica tearfully says it should matter to Archie that she can’t say “I love you” back to him and runs off. Jughead’s mad at Betty for doing that dance, and they quasi break up. Everyone’s crying; it’s a mess.

But then…what? The final scene in the episode shows Betty and ARCHIE looking at each other through their windows like thirsty animals. Are they about to hook up?

Parting thoughts: BARCHIE!!!!!

Related Stories:

Riverdale Season 2 Episode 7 Recap: A Theory About the Black Hood Is Debunked

Riverdale Stars K.J. Apa and Madelaine Petsch Say Black Hood’s Identity Will Be Revealed Soon



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