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The Big Bang Theory Season 12, Episode 11 Recap: Can We Talk About Raj and Anu's Break Up?


Uh, what just happened on tonight’s The Big Bang Theory? It appears Raj and Anu have called off their engagement after three-plus months of dating, but their storyline ended so abruptly that I can’t say for sure. (And I re-watched the scene three times…) What I do know, though, is that they hit their biggest speed bump to date, and the whole thing raises a lot of questions.

Let’s go through this together, shall we? The episode—titled “The Paintball Scattering”—begins with Anu and Raj chatting about floral arrangements for their wedding. A chime goes off on Raj’s phone, and Anu says, “Is someone texting you?” Raj tells Anu that it’s his doorbell camera, and it’s one of the greatest inventions ever because that’s how he found out a raccoon was eating his monthly cheese delivery. Alrighty then.

Anu says she has a doorbell camera as well, but she’s just never bothered to install it. Raj says it’s super easy, and she’ll love it, so he’s happy to do it for her.

Then, later in the episode, Raj is at Howard and Bernadette’s for dinner when the chime goes off on his phone. He tells them it’s Anu’s doorbell camera, which he helped install. (Side note: In this age of non-stop smartphone alerts, why is everyone so concerned about this chime? It’s like they’ve never heard an alert before.)

PHOTO: Michael Yarish/Warner Bros. Entertainment

I have no idea the protocol on these doorbell cameras, but I suppose you can have it connected to more than one phone. Otherwise, what’s the point of Anu having it if she can’t see who’s at her door? But I don’t think it’s that strange for Raj to keep the app on his phone. This is his fiancé—the woman he’ll be living with—so it makes sense to share access. It’d be one thing if I got the feeling he didn’t trust Anu, but he really hasn’t given off that impression. Then again, he’s never quite been the most mature boyfriend either.

Anyway, all this to say Raj notices a guy at Anu’s door carrying plastic bags. Anu gives him a hug—and not just any hug. It’s more like a, “I’m really happy to see you” hug. She then invites him into her house; understandably, Raj is confused and upset.

The next day, while the entire gang decides to play paintball (Anu included), Raj decides not to say anything—for now. While I don’t think he needed to apologize to Anu for what he saw, he should have brought it up right away. Anu knew he was installing her doorbell app; it’s not like he did it without her permission.

Minutes into their paintball outing, though, Raj blurts out that he saw a strange man going into her house. Anu is appalled and wants to know why he was “spying” on her. Raj says that’s not the point. I think he should have simply said that he wasn’t spying on her, because he wasn’t: When the chime went off, he looked. Of course, it’s never that easy on TV, is it?

Anu admits that it was her ex-boyfriend at the door, and he was there to pick up some stuff that he left at her house. Raj implies that “stuff” means sex (oh no), but Anu says that wasn’t the case. But when Raj asks if she’s still talking to her ex-boyfriend on a regular basis, Anu says yes and she won’t apologize for that. I get that she and Raj have only been dating for a few months, but they are engaged. Isn’t that something she should have told him about? That’s fine if she wants to have a friendship with her ex, but she didn’t handle that revelation too well. And clearly, neither did Raj.

Anu tells Raj to delete the app from his phone, but he says, “Why? Is it because you’re hiding something from me?” Anu says no, it’s “because you should trust me.” What both of them don’t understand is that trust takes time; Anu may want Raj to trust her, but the first step is opening up about an ex-boyfriend. In Raj’s case, he should have come to Anu right away without jumping to conclusions. Instead, Raj responds by asking how he can trust her when he barely knows her.

Ouch.

The fact is though, he has a point. While you can learn a lot about a person in three months, you can’t know everything. Anu asks Raj what they’re doing if they can’t trust each other. “Why are we planning a wedding?” Raj’s response? “I don’t know.”

In the next scene, Anu says she’s going home but he shouldn’t worry…she’ll wave to the doorbell when she gets there. (OK, that was actually funny.) He urges her to at least let him drive her home, but she says that’s OK, she’ll Uber. Meanwhile, Amy and Sheldon—who have had their own spat now that Super-Asymmetry is a thing again—offer to drive her home. And that’s the end of that.

Except it isn’t, because there are more questions than ever. Is the wedding called off? Postponed? Is their relationship over or just on pause? And who is this ex-boyfriend of Anu’s? Does she still have feelings for him? Him for her? And why do I have as many questions as I did after This Is Us‘ fall finale?

Welcome to 2019, you guys. It’s going to be a ride.

Related: Is There a Chance for a Big Bang Theory Spin-Off?



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The Big Bang Theory Season 12, Episode 8 Recap: Raj and Anu Set a Wedding Date


When Big Bang Theory executive producer Steve Holland told me earlier this fall that Raj’s storyline with a new love interest was going to “play out over the course of the season,” I was skeptical. Actually, it was more than that: I was disappointed.

With Sheldon and Amy now wed, Penny and Leonard in their third year of marriage, and Bernadette and Howard managing two kids, I thought pairing up Raj for the final season felt a little like checking off a to-do list. Plus, if the writers wanted a happy ending for Raj, why does that have to mean an engagement or marriage? That’s not to say I don’t want Raj to find someone or be happy, but I love how relatable the relationships on Big Bang are. And in 2018, it’s extremely relatable for romance/love/engagement to take longer for some. So why rush it with Raj?

When I asked Holland if he was open to Raj not ending up with anyone by series end, Holland started by saying, “I try not to…” before adding that “no matter what ending we do, we’ll upset somebody somehow. We’re just trying to focus on an ending that feels right to us and hopefully people will like it.”

Well, surprisingly—shockingly—I’m on board with Raj and Anu. The introduction of Anu (played by Rati Gupta) has been an energy shot the show needed going into its final season. She’s real, smart, and interesting. She doesn’t have time for BS—from Raj or anyone else. She’s looking for a grown-up relationship, and she’s tired of waiting for 30-something boys to become 30-something men.

PHOTO: Michael Yarish

While I still wish Raj and Anu could have been introduced by their parents without the pressure of it leading to an arranged marriage, I am excited to see where this could go. And apparently it’s going to a Valentine’s Day 2019 wedding date, which was jarring to hear. (Really, you two? It has to be that soon?) Still, I’m finding myself bored whenever Anu and Raj aren’t the focus of an episode. (Case in point: last week’s.)

Tonight’s episode—titled “The Consummation Deviation”—started with Raj making sure his friends would be free on February 14 and willing to fly to India for the ceremony. It’ll be interesting to see if that date actually comes to fruition, but let’s not worry about that yet. As we saw in the latest episode, there are other momentous occasions to get to first.

Starting with the moment when Anu matter-of-factly tells Raj they should have sex. He almost runs off the road, but that may be because he’s more worried about being naked following a salt-heavy dinner than actually doing it with Anu for the first time. Anu clears things up and says she doesn’t mean right now, but it’s important to her that they know they’re compatible before getting married. Uh, maybe make sure you’re compatible before you tell all your friends about a wedding date? But that’s just me.

Anu says she’ll get a room at her hotel this weekend—remember, she’s a concierge—but Raj privately goes into panic mode. Later at Leonard’s apartment, he confesses to the guys (minus Sheldon) that he’s pretty anxious because this is the woman he’s going to marry. What if he’s no good? “Do we sign up for a lifetime of mediocre sex?” he asks. It’s obviously not the first time Raj has had sex, but the stakes are high.

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PHOTO: Sonja Flemming/CBS

The guys are not much help, so Raj joins Bernadette and Penny for wine time to mull it over. “She’s probably nervous, too,” Penny says. Raj doesn’t believe her, but that’s not the point. He’s worried he’s not as skilled as he’s made himself out to be in past sexual encounters. Plus, Anu is Indian as well, so she’s going to know there’s no position called the “screeching lotus.” (Oh, Raj.)

The weekend apparently comes very fast because in the next scene, Raj is in the hotel room and having a freakout with Penny over the phone. Penny tells Raj that her first time with Leonard wasn’t that great, which is a hilarious nod to Leonard’s earlier comments that their first time was so good he plays it over and over in his head. If that was supposed to make Raj feel better, it doesn’t.

Anu walks in—and in a tip of the hat to the Raj of years past, he suddenly can’t talk in the presence of a woman. Anu is understandably confused as Raj runs to the bathroom, shuts the door, and pops open a bottle of champagne.

When Raj later emerges—tipsy, of course—Anu wants to know what is going on. When Raj fails to tell her what the issue is, she says she’s going to leave. He begs her not to, but she demands the truth. “Oh, the truth is so not good for me,” he pleads before finally admitting that he used to be so insecure around women that he couldn’t talk. He assures Anu that he’s not that same person, but “I guess I wanted so much for tonight to go well that I stressed myself out.” What’s ironic is that Raj and Anu entered into this arranged relationship hoping to avoid the pitfalls of typical relationships, but also realizing they’re not fail-proof either.

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PHOTO: Sonja Flemming/CBS

Anu asks Raj why he didn’t tell her this before, but he admits he was embarrassed. Instead of saying “why?” or “that’s ridiculous,” she says, “I get it,” which both validates his feelings and creates another level of trust between them. “If it makes you feel better, I’ve got things I’m embarrassed about, too.” While I was hoping for a profound reveal from Anu, it turns out her “embarrassment” is simply that she doesn’t like music. “What kind of music?” Raj asks. “Just all of it,” she says.

The comic relief comes when Raj wants to know if Beyoncé is the exception—specifically “Single Ladies”—but Anu tells him that even she doesn’t make the cut. “My point is, we both have our little eccentricities,” she says. “Little eccentricities?” Raj wonders. “One is a deep-seeded psychological disturbance and the other can be solved by half a glass of chardonnay.” They laugh and immediately start making out. Have I mentioned I love these two?

The next morning, Raj is still wearing his same clothes, and it’s obvious all they did was stay up all night and talk. “Last night was wonderful,” Anu tells Raj. He’s a bit confused since the night didn’t go as planned, but she assures him that getting to know each other on a deeper level was great. Also, she assumes that the fact that he could talk to her all night—while in bed—is a good sign for their marriage. “Yeah, and my liver,” Raj jokes.

Raj then says maybe they should wait to have sex another time, but Anu has another plan. “Or, I take a shower and you decide how you want to play this,” she says. It takes a confused Raj a minute to realize exactly what Anu is implying until she pops her head out of the bathroom and instructs him to “take a shower with me, Raj!” He quickly jumps out of bed and joins Anu in the shower.

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PHOTO: Sonja Flemming/CBS

By all accounts, perhaps Anu is too mature for Raj. Or perhaps Raj needs someone who appreciates Beyoncé in all her glory. But whatever the case, this feels real. And I’m here for it.



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'The Big Bang Theory' Season 11, Episode 21 Recap: I Can’t Believe How Raj Treated Penny


I’d like to report a missing person, and his name is Rajesh Koothrappali. It seems some alien force targeted Pasadena and either replaced him with his evil twin or brainwashed him into thinking he’s an asshole. Because the real Raj was nowhere in sight on tonight’s Big Bang Theory, titled “The Comet Polarization.” Michael Wolowitz’s namesake (well, one of them anyway)—Neil Gaiman—may have made Stuart’s comic book store the hottest ticket in town, but it was the Raj and Penny storyline that lit a fire under me.

At the start of the episode, the gang gathers on the Friends old rooftop (OK, maybe not, but it looked awfully similar) to discuss Twitter followers and planets. You know, normal rooftop talk. Raj asks Penny if she wants to look through his telescope and instructs her to take a picture if she sees something. Seconds later, Penny says she does see something, but it’s fuzzy. Raj assumes it’s an eyelash. Penny says he’s crazy, so Raj suggests she take a picture. And after Raj takes a look, he admits that she might have seen something important after all: a comet.

PHOTO: Jordin Althaus/Warner Bros. Entertainment

The next day, he stops by Leonard and Penny’s to confirm that it was a previously undiscovered comet. Penny is more delighted than she was at her own wedding. “I discovered a comet!” she exclaims. But then something weird happens: Raj’s demeanor changes, and he condescendingly asks, “What do you mean you discovered it?”

“I’m the one that saw it,” Penny responds.

“In my telescope,” Raj counters. “That I positioned. All you did was look into it.”

What? Leonard suggests they both discovered it, so they can put both their names on the registration. But Raj says he can’t do that because he already put his name down and “that’s who I am and that’s what I did.” (Insert my livid reaction here.)

Penny is rightly beside herself and questions Raj’s sanity, but Raj isn’t having it. Instead, he offers this low blow: “Do you even know what a comet is?” Penny—with the best comeback ever—says, “Yeah! The thing I saw first!”

Raj still doesn’t think that qualifies as a discovery, but Penny reminds him she took the picture. Raj then to insults his friend with this childish statement: “If a monkey took a picture, did it discover the comet?” Penny is furious and orders Raj to get the hell out of her apartment, as she should.

Later, Penny (after apparently googling “who owns the discovery of a comet?”) tells Leonard that the Internet says because she took the picture, she discovered the comet. Leonard agrees with his wife, but questions why she cares. (Groan.) Penny explains that people doubt her all the time because they take one look at her and “assume I don’t know what I’m talking about.” Leonard says he’s sure that’s not true, which frustrates Penny even more because it’s a clear dismissal of her feelings. All Leonard wants to do is make his wife feel better, but what he doesn’t understand is that trying to put a band-aid over something that goes much deeper is never the solution.

In fact, Penny reveals she recently had a great idea at work, but no one paid attention to her until five minutes later when a guy made the same suggestion and the entire room rallied around him. The great idea was about where to eat for lunch, but still. Penny says it happens with all the doctors she encounters too, and she’s over their condescending attitude. “I’m sick of letting this stuff slide,” she tells Leonard. “I found that comet. Why should Raj say he found it?”

Leonard continues to completely dismiss his wife and offers up this gem: “I know you’re right, but Raj is our friend, and this could be good for his career.” Yikes.

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PHOTO: Michael Yarish/Warner Bros.

Penny says her husband is such a people-pleaser (truth) who can’t stand to make anyone angry (truth x2). Leonard professes that he’s on her side, but I (and Penny) don’t want to hear it. At the moment, I just want to send Leonard, Raj, and Sheldon off to a program to cure their toxic masculinity. In fact, while the Raj/Penny/Leonard situation is happening, Sheldon is at Stuart’s comic book store doubting an employee’s intelligence and capabilities—because she’s new and a woman. It’s only when she proves how well-versed she is in the comic book universe that Sheldon comes around. Spare me this tired trope.

Meanwhile, Leonard goes to Raj and tries to reason with him. Leonard asks Raj to add her name to the registration, but he says he already told everyone at work that he did it and his boss now calls him Captain Comet. Apparently it’s all he’s ever dreamed of. Raj needs new dreams.

Leonard suggests he just swallow his pride, but Raj says he can’t. (I also can’t with Raj.) Then, in a complete 180, Raj says he brought this on himself, he’s a bad scientist, and a selfish person. Of course, he just does that to make Leonard feel bad for him in the hopes that he’ll talk to his wife and try to make her see his POV. And Leonard falls for it hook, line, and sinker.

Penny—proving once again she’s smarter than everyone else—tells Leonard that Raj played him, and Leonard admits that Penny is strong enough to fight her own battles. “You’re a strong, independent woman that has her own voice, and to quote another strong woman—Katy Perry—it’s time to hear you roar.” It’s all a little much, but it’s kind of cute. Leonard’s like a puppy that can’t help himself. Unfortunately for Penny, he’s like a puppy that can’t help himself.

Penny visits Raj, who’s nervous just at the sound of her walking up the stairs to his apartment. As soon as he opens the door, he apologizes to Penny because in his mind anything is better than having Penny angry with him. Again, it’s beyond annoying that it takes Penny getting angry for Raj to come to his senses, but I don’t know why I’m expecting more. Raj says he’s going to put her name on the comet with his, even if it’s professionally embarrassing or it puts him on thin ice at work or makes him lose his funding. Again, it’s obvious Raj still doesn’t get it—he’s just trying reverse psychology on Penny—but Penny doesn’t fall for it. “Good!” she says in response to him saying he’ll put her name on the comet. “Bye!”

After she leaves, Raj tells himself that that worked better on Leonard than Penny, proving my point two-fold: Someone kidnapped Raj, and Penny’s the real genius on this show.



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'The Big Bang Theory' Season 11 Episode 10 Recap: Raj and Howard Break Up Their Friendship


Tonight’s episode of The Big Bang Theory almost resulted in Sheldon and Amy’s wedding—but for diehard Shamy shippers, City Hall vows were thankfully not in the cards. Long-time fans of the couple have been hoping for a big wedding, and it seems that’s exactly what they’ll get.

To recap, Sheldon and Amy were fighting so much that they thought a no-frills wedding at the clerk’s office would solve everything. Sheldon, however, came to his senses and recognized that he needs a brain transplant. OK, not really, but he did finally act like a decent adult when he realized a successful relationship involves really listening to a partner’s wants and dreams. In this case, that’s a proper wedding to Amy with a real first dance and plenty of Little House on the Prairie references. As for when—well, that’s anyone’s guess, but at least things are finally moving in a more positive direction.

But the true heart of tonight’s episode—titled “The Confidence Erosion”—was Raj. This moment in the spotlight has been a long time coming: For years, the character has been the brunt of cheap jokes, ranging from his accent to his metrosexual tendencies. By now, those jokes have become outdated and stale. Raj knows this, but he’s never been one to make too much of anything. That all changed tonight, though, when Raj’s dad encouraged his son to take a long hard look at how Howard—Raj’s BFF—has treated him.

Raj tried to defend his friend—”Howard doesn’t mean anything by it. I think it’s cultural. His people come from a very sarcastic village called Brooklyn.”—but Raj’s father wasn’t hearing it. “Don’t make excuses,” he said. “What kind of friend acts that way? A bad friend!”

Dr. Koothrappali’s words stuck with Raj, who later went over to Penny and Leonard’s apartment to get their opinion. While Leonard agreed that Howard does make fun of Raj a lot, Penny dismissed it as good fun. “That’s just want friends do,” she said. “They bust on each other. It doesn’t mean anything.” That’s rather ironic coming from Penny, who has been the brunt of lame jokes from the guys for the better part of 200 episodes. Of course, she hasn’t been the nicest person either—especially to her husband—who called her out on her behavior.

But let’s get back to Raj, who later crushed it in this exchange with Howard:

Howard: Wanna grab some lunch?
Raj: No, I don’t think so.
Howard: Lemme guess, you’re not eating because the mean girls circled your chubby bits in marker.
Raj: No, that, that right there! That’s the reason. You’re always making fun of me.
Howard: Those are just jokes. It’s my way of saying we’re friends. And it wouldn’t hurt you to drop a few!
Raj: See, no wonder I don’t have any confidence.
Howard: Come on, you can’t blame that on me!
Raj: Why not? 15 years of constant ridicule! I think our relationship has become toxic.
Howard: What are you saying?
Raj: I think you and I need to spend some time away from each other.
Howard: Look, I can see you’re upset, but I’m gonna need some ground rules. While we’re apart, can I see other needy Indian men?
Raj: GET OUT!

If that didn’t make Howard look like enough of an ass, then the fact that he later told Leonard and Sheldon that “Raj is trying to blame me for his pathetic life,” surely did.

PHOTO: Monty Brinton/CBS

And then, in a moment we never thought we’d see on the show, Raj showed up to Penny and Leonard’s with his natural hair. He revealed that when he first moved to the United States, he wanted to fit in: Because Howard’s hair was straight and he was the coolest person he knew, he took his lead.

The moment represents a breakthrough for Raj, who truly seems ready to embrace his authentic self. He doesn’t need Howard to be his therapist and leave him smiley face stickers on his lunch tray, but he certainly doesn’t need him to bring him down either. So, after Raj bombed an interview earlier in the episode to conduct presentations at the Planetarium, he mustered up the courage to go back to the hiring committee and make a stronger case for himself. His newfound confidence (and a little help from external circumstances) helps him get hired, but it’s a bittersweet achievement given that he can’t go and tell his best friend. Leonard urges him to do so anyway, but Raj remains steadfast in his decision. “No, I don’t need his negative energy in my life right now,” he explained. “Standing up to him was hard, but it made me realize I can do anything.”

It was a profound moment for myriad reasons, namely that by the time the credits rolled, Raj and Howard hadn’t reconciled. They may very well next week, but it was nice to see the weight of Raj’s feelings act as a connective tissue through each scene. He was undoubtedly sad to cut Howard out of his life, but empowered by his ability to do so. If and when the two repair their friendship, it will only be because Howard has understood the hurt caused by his actions, and Raj finally understands his worth.



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