According to a new report from the CDC, the number of women age 20 to 24 giving birth has fallen 4 percent since 2016 to a record low of 71 per 1,000. While some millennials are putting off motherhood, others don’t want children now or later—and Khaliha Hawkins is one of them. Here’s her story, as told to Juno DeMelo.
My 11-year-old sister was born when I was a freshman in high school. Being around for her birth and watching my parents—who both had full-time, demanding jobs—raise her, I was like, yeah, that’s not for me.
Don’t get me wrong: Of course I love and care about my sister, and I still babysit her. But my parents were straight-up with me about how expensive childcare is, and I was flabbergasted. And even though my mom had great insurance when she was pregnant, I was in shock about how much my sister’s birth cost.
I also know that you have to have a lot of patience to be a parent, and my tolerance for bullshit is low! I have friends who stop what they’re doing when they see babies, who have always dreamt about being parents, and that’s just not me.
People ask me all the time whether I want kids. I’m usually hesitant to tell them I don’t, because then they ask why, and I don’t feel like I need to give them an explanation. If I do respond, I simply say “no” and leave it at that. If you’re not my partner or a close friend or family member, it’s none of your business.
“I know that you have to have a lot of patience to be a parent, and my tolerance for bullshit is low!”
I have a really large family, and they bring it up every Thanksgiving. My mom always says you should have kids early so it’s easier on you and your body and so you can grow together, and I’m like, no! I can’t imagine it happening, but if I somehow decide down the road that I want to be a mother, I would just adopt.
Even though I’ve been warned that supposedly every man wants a child, I’ve actually been set up with a guy based on the fact that he also didn’t want kids. I’m not dating anyone right now. If I did meet someone, I’d make sure to bring up the fact that I don’t want kids before things got serious.
Obviously I’m on birth control, the importance of which was drilled into me early on. I used to be on acne medication, and I didn’t want to have to remember to take multiple pills every day, so I use a hormonal birth control I don’t have to think about as often.
I know how much you have to sacrifice to be a parent. Some of my friends think I’d be a great mom because I’m so passionate, but I’m passionate about art and politics and my career, not children! People always say it’s selfish to not want kids, whereas I feel like it’s the exact opposite. It would be selfish of me to bring a child into this world knowing I’ve had these convictions for so long.
Lili Reinhart is sitting in a Victorian garden in Irvington, New York. The birds are chirping, and the sun is shining on her blond hair. It’s a scene that makes it laughably easy to conflate real-life Lili with her onscreen alter ego, Riverdale’s perennial “good girl,” Betty Cooper. But the actress wants to make something clear: You may feel you know Betty—but you don’t know Lili. “I’m a very open book about a lot of things,” Reinhart says, “but at the end of the day, if I don’t know you, you’re a stranger.”
Riverdale, for the uninitiated, is the CW’s noir, modern-day adaptation of the midcentury Archie Comics universe. Betty still has her uniform of saccharine colors and a perky ponytail, but this version has a lot more agency. No more fighting with Veronica over Archie’s attention—Reinhart’s Betty is too busy catching serial killers.
It’s Reinhart’s first major role, and it catapulted the 22-year-old Cleveland native to Hollywood next-gen status with a passionate teenage fan base. She’s recognized as Betty everywhere she goes: in Vancouver, where Riverdale films; in North Carolina, visiting her parents; and at difficult, private moments, like a memorial service with her family in Massachusetts. And most encounters share one element. “It’s never like, ‘Are you that person from Riverdale?’” she says. “It’s ‘I know who you are.’ ”
Hold the Labels“I started off the show thinking I have a very romantic, flowy, feminine style,” Reinhart says.“But now sometimes I’ll surprise myself by wearing something completely different and edgy.”Nina Ricci turtleneck,$990. Smythe shorts,$395. Sarah Chloe ring(worn throughout), $118.
There’s a reason her fans (more than 13 million followers on Instagram and Twitter combined) feel they know her. She’s been outspoken on various platforms about deeply personal topics like mental health (she’s battled depression and social anxiety since she was a teen), body image (when Internet trolls suggested she was pregnant, for example, she hit back with a succinct reply: “This is just my body…sometimes I’m bloated”), and #MeToo (Reinhart wrote a Tumblr post about her own experience with sexual harassment).
She even goes there on the issue that’s the hardest for her: her skin. “I cried last night to my mom over FaceTime because of how ugly I felt I looked,” Reinhart says. “My skin has caused me a lot of anxiety and sadness.” Just one zit can ruin an entire day, she says. “I have a specific type of body dysmorphia that stems from acne. I see any acne on my face as an obsessive thing. [It’s] the only thing I can think about, and it makes me want to hide.” Opening up about the insecurities that gnaw at her has helped her find new avenues of support. “Lorde actually messaged me on Instagram when I had spoken out about my acne,” she says, “and she was like, ‘Girl, I feel you. I’m totally on the same page as you.’ It was really comforting and very sweet of her.”
More Than Meets the Eye Reinhart says it’s time to let Betty Cooper out of her box: “She’s not as innocent as the pink sweaters and Peter Pan collars make her out to be.”Dondup cardigan. Hilfiger Collection shirt, $260. For Reinhart’s rosy lip, try Maybelline New York Color Sensational Shine Compulsion Oil-in-Lipstick in Pink Fetish ($8, drugstores), and for her sun-kissed highlights, try John Frieda Sheer Blonde Go Blonder Lightening Spray ($10, drugstores).
But like any young woman navigating social media, Reinhart is trying to find where to draw the line. She likes being open but needs to have some boundaries. “I haven’t really shown the super vulnerable side of myself to my audience,” she says. “If I did that, I wouldn’t have anything left for myself.” So she goes deep only on the issues she feels comfortable sharing. “I talk about my mental health. I talk about depression. But I’m private about the things that I want to be private about.” (Such as her rumored relationship with costar Cole Sprouse. She’s hinted that they’re close—in a recent Instagram post she called Sprouse “my love”—but neither has confirmed they’re a couple.)
And she’s trying to find a way to cope with something largely out of her control: covert photos by fans and paparazzi. “It’s only been two years that I’ve been semi in the spotlight, and it still pisses me off so bad when I see someone trying to sneak a photo of me,” she says. The idea that she can be photographed whenever, wherever, makes her feel “like a zoo animal.” But she doesn’t let it take over her life. “Sometimes I feel like I look like shit. Sometimes I don’t want to talk to anyone. And it’s like, I’m allowed to have those days,” she says. “I’m not going to apologize for that.”
What a Girl Wants“If people could just open their eyes a little bit and see that there’s a much wider range of beauty and shape and weight,” Reinhart says, “there’d be so much more happiness.”Frame sweater, $395
In other words, women are multifaceted. They can share things and keep secrets. They have good days and bad days, and more important, they shouldn’t be labeled or put in a box. Not even Betty Cooper. For Riverdale’s first two seasons, Reinhart’s Betty alternated between a studious do-gooder and a Dark Betty hell-bent on revenge, complete with a black wig and lingerie. “It’s such a strange concept, the whole Dark Betty thing,” she says. If having complicated feelings is “dark,” she says, “[I’d] be Dark Lili all the time.”
In Riverdale’s third season, which premieres on October 10, Reinhart is optimistic that Betty’s two sides will finally unite in a single, nuanced character. “I think she’s not as innocent as the pink sweaters and Peter Pan collars make her out to be,” she says. “She’s evolving into a woman. She has a darker side and she has a lighter side, but they’re not split into two personas. It’s not that crazy for people to have dark sides. Everyone has a dark side.”
As she smiles for the camera in this sunny garden, Reinhart talks about an upcoming, much-needed trip with her family—people she can be her whole self with. It’s days like this, when the weather is nice and the work fulfilling, that all the self-doubts fade into a background haze rather than claim center stage.“It’s just a reminder to myself that there are bigger things happening here,” Reinhart says. Like sticking to her mission of changing the conversation around acne, body image, and mental health. “If people could just open their eyes a little bit and see there’s a wider range of beauty,” she says, “there’d be so much more happiness.”
Lede Image: Photograph by Danielle Levitt, Styled by Annina Mislin
On Lili: The Kooples sweater, $240. Tory Burch skirt, $528.
Hair: Robert Mefford at Atelier; makeup: Vincent Oquendo at the Wall Group; manicure: Jackie Saulsbery at Factory Downtown; prop stylist: Daniel Horowitz; production: The Pull. Location: Armour-Stiner (Octagon) House.
In 1984, Prada made its mark on handbag history when it introduced its now-iconic nylon backpack. It wasn’t anything too flashy—it was fashioned out of “industrial-weight nylon used in army tents,” as Vogue reported when it first launched, and it only came in two colors. But it became an instant classic, earning a coveted spot in closets across the globe in the decades since. The fabric is versatile and durable, and, with little-to-no embellishments, this style never feels outdated. The brand still issues new nylon handbags every year. (Its most recent iteration, for Fall 2018, is neon-themed.) And many others have emulated and reimagined it, in a range of silhouettes—backpacks, totes, even belt bags—so there’s truly a style for everyone. If you, too, enjoy practicality-minded accessories, consider the nylon bag as the fall addition your wardrobe needs. Ahead, some of our favorite takes on the trend.
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What women want—it’s the riddle that moves markets, sells products, and titled one ill-advised movie. In the 2016 presidential race, it was the puzzle that decided the election.
Diviners of our political future had assumed that women would, in the words of New York Times writer Amanda Hess, vote “in the interest of their gender” and elect the first woman president. We know what happened instead. With the ballots tallied, 53 percent of white women voted for Donald Trump. A full 94 percent of African American women voted for Hillary Clinton. The savviest pollsters and the most trusted operatives? They hadn’t a clue. Women never have and perhaps never will cast their ballots in a monolithic bloc.
There is a lesson here: Sophisticated models and microtargeted ads can’t do the work that our elected officials are supposed to do. To understand what’s on the minds of women voters in Denver or Detroit, candidates (and the media!) need to talk to them. In the run-up to the midterm elections, we did just that.
And while women across the battleground states each prioritized a different set of issues, one thing all women want? For our government to listen. And to start getting things done.
In 2010, I fled a PH.D. program in a city I hated and came home to my native West Virginia. Coming back here is often framed as failure, like you couldn’t “make it” on “the outside,” but I had to come back. It’s hard to put into words, the deep attachment I have to this panhandled, green-and-brownsouled, hard-edged, sweet-cored, open-sored, beauty-bound, conflicted piece of the country. I need it. I bought a house on one and a half acres on the rocky rim of the New River Gorge. I’ve settled in and made my own friend-family of other “long-haulers.” We’re as committed to one another as we are to our state.
A hundred years ago this area was home to thousands of coal miners and their families. That’s all gone now, along with the coal they dug. Sometimes when I walk through the woods, I find the stony ruins of their lives—an old root cellar or the crumbling foundation of a school— and of that old, defunct economy. I believe that West Virginia is now in the middle of a monumental shift. You might even call it an identity crisis. After a century of dominance, coal is running out. Who will we become? Some of us are still grieving over what we’ve lost; some of us are in denial. But some of us are looking to the future.
We can’t continue as we are. I’ve found women here, in particular, are willing to work for this change. As traditionally male sectors like mining and manufacturing are shrinking, more women are stepping into the role of primary breadwinner, in growing sectors like health and education. In the state where women are less likely to be in the labor force than any other in the nation, this is radical, and it makes our gender wage gap (74 cents to a man’s dollar) all the more stark. Yet the lion’s share of federal dollars pays for retraining programs in traditionally male industries. Where are the teachers and service workers in all this?
We need to support the women entering the workforce, many of whom are doing so for the first time. Our women—especially the older generation—have seen their communities disintegrate, and their sense of loss is part of what MAGA tapped into. Women are troubled by the lack of opportunity for their children and grandchildren, whom they want to keep close, not send down the hillbilly highway to Charlotte.
Now more than ever, West Virginia women don’t want lip service; we are ready to hear from politicians who have actual, executable plans to diversify our economy. We are ready to hear their ideas to bring broadband to our underserved rural communities so that new kinds of economies can take root. We are ready for answers to the opioid crisis, because virtually all of us are grieving someone (I lost the first boy I ever kissed), and our political leaders need to offer answers. We are ready to have someone to believe in enough to actually vote for.
There is room for hope. At the recent teachers’ strike, I witnessed an outpouring of female power that felt unprecedented. Incredible political organizing work is happening in this state right now. More women are running for office; every single U.S. House race here has a female candidate in 2018.
Our people are independent-minded more than party loyal, and we like political outsiders. The Democrats controlled this state for nearly a century. And when the coal mines shut down, people looked up and saw that we were still at the bottom of nearly every social indicator list; they said maybe it’s time for a change. This election will be a barometer. To me, November’s ballot looks like a choice between a stagnant old world and a new but uncertain future.
Written by Catherine Moore
Arizona’s politics have long been as blazing hot as its summers (see: former sheriff Joe Arpaio; Trump’s proposed border wall). But Pamela Hughes, a talk radio host at KTAR-FM in Phoenix, is thinking about the billboards she’s seen—the ones Texas is using to poach teachers from the Grand Canyon State, where there’s already a shortage—and the mass protests that drove thousands of educators, parents, and supporters into the streets this past spring.
Come November, Hughes says, “I think that in Arizona what is going to motivate women in particular who maybe haven’t voted in a midterm election— or heck, maybe didn’t even vote in the last presidential election—is going to be education.”
Hughes’ job has given her a front-row seat to the school wars that have dramatically roiled Arizona this year. She’s heard from her listeners constantly about the teachers’ strike for better pay, and tensions remain over per-pupil spending levels and a recently approved expansion of the school voucher program that a grassroots campaign is fighting to repeal in November.
School quality is deeply personal, Hughes knows: The 40-year-old is mom to a third-grader and the sister of a public school principal and has watched friends quit good jobs and leave Arizona to live in stronger school districts for their kids. “Parents want their kids to be better off than they were and to have more than they have had,” she says, “and in Arizona a lot of families are feeling like that’s not an option.”
Jessica D’Ambrosio, 36, is a teacher and mother of two in Maricopa County. It’s a swath of Arizona that’s become nationally known as a focal point in the debate over immigration crackdowns, but like Hughes, she says immigration is not the foremost thing on voters’ minds.
“Every once in a while, you’ll hear [about] a semi truck pulled over and there being a bunch of illegals in there,” D’Ambrosio says. “I don’t hear about that very often, but I do hear about how schools are, how they’re suffering. Definitely. All the time.” D’Ambrosio, who’s going into her eleventh year in education in the district, also teaches English to Chinese students online from 4:00 to 6:00 A.M. to supplement the family income, and she somehow carves out time to mentor new teachers and work with the Red for Ed campaign for school funding. Education is now a political issue, she says: “Our kids deserve better. If you hold your kids to be the most valuable, you need to show the resources for those kids, right?”
Written by Celeste Katz
I spent seven years reporting in Washington County, Pennsylvania, which lies at the southwestern corner of the state, where Appalachia is. This is a place where both Democrats and Republicans have deeply disappointed so many people that it’s hard to draw clear partisan lines. Historically, this land of coal mines and steel mills was heavily Democratic. Workers belonged to labor unions, which voted solid blue. The people, however, tended to be conservative on social issues. So over time this blue square on the map turned red. It’s now Trump Country, where voters cast their ballots for the President by a margin of nearly two to one.
After the election, reporters traveled here to profile the Trump Voter. But too many missed the real narrative. They missed how rural America pays the costs for urban America’s energy demands. Miner families find themselves at the crux of a national conversation, powerful because of their historical significance and because of their economic advantages. Miners make double or even triple local average salaries. And in miner families, the job defines the work for both husband and wife—because he spends so much time below ground, she does it all. She divvies up his paycheck. She’s connected to other miners’ wives. She’s on social media. And she, like her husband, struggles to make sense of a political apparatus that has failed them.
Written by Eliza Griswold
I didn’t grow up in a gun household, but when I got older, a cop friend took me to a shooting range, and I enjoyed it. I took a course that taught me how to use guns properly and got my carry permit. Still, it wasn’t until I got married that I was truly around a lot of guns. My ex-husband was an avid gun and ammo collector. But in reality he never should have been able to have a gun.
In April 2017, when we were living in Georgia, he went into a state of psychosis. He had no idea who he was, that I was his wife, or that we had a six-year-old son upstairs. He thought he worked for the CIA or FBI and even called them up to tell them he was ready for his next mission. Then he pulled a gun on me. Police came and he was admitted into a mental facility, but after eight days he was released. I thought they’d treated him; I thought he was fine. A few days later he held me at gunpoint again. This time I pulled my own gun out. It stalled things just enough for the police to arrive and arrest him. Had I not been armed, I believe I probably would not be alive today. (I got a restraining order and divorced him.)
After that I moved back to Florida, near family, and found a job in Coral Springs, less than 15 minutes from Parkland. Every day I drove past Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School to work. When the shooting happened, it terrified me all over again. This election, I can’t stand behind a politician in favor of taking away our rights to protect ourselves and our families. If Florida passed a law saying everyone had to give up their guns, I’d move out of state.
The truth is every time an event like Parkland happens and talk of gun control laws come up, people pull out their wallets and buy more guns. The only way to protect innocent people from bad guys with guns is to have good guys with guns. What I would vote for? Required mental health evaluations—and official documentation from a doctor saying you are sane enough to own a firearm—before you can purchase a gun. I would support mandatory training on proper gun use before you can get a carry license. I’d vote for laws that insist parents lock up their guns, and if they don’t, they should be held accountable in the event of an incident. And if you hit your spouse? Cops should be able to take away your guns.
I also want police to be better trained in recognizing and dealing with mental illness. I want guidance counselors to be better trained in mental health so that kids who need help can get treated. And yes, I want schools to no longer be gun-free zones. If my son was in a classroom with a teacher who was trained and carrying, I would have more peace of mind. If we had more armed school officers and teachers who could carry if they chose to, it could deter shooters. That’s how I believe we could save lives.
By Christina Carlson, as told to Marina Khidekel
I’ve always liked to do hair—ever since I was a kid. In 1994, I graduated from high school and ended up getting pregnant that summer, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to go to college. I went to cosmetology school and eventually opened my own salon. The job is hard. A lot of times the women who come in come to confide. We’re worried for our children, their education, their job opportunities. A lot of kids drop out of school, so where does that leave them? If people can’t get a job, they can’t make money, and if they can’t make money, then they resort to crime. It’s a circle. I have three kids, and one of my sons was involved in the criminal justice system. He’s a very smart kid, but he’s in this small town where it’s hard to find work. In the salon we talk about it: How do we get people back on track?
We just want to feel safe. I wish police officers could get more involved, not on the bad end but on the good end. Get out and start to learn who people in our neighborhoods are. I’ve always tried to work harder, strive harder. I’m now enrolled in Columbia College. I want a degree so I can start a new business and the salon can be part time. But I take two steps forward to take three steps back. It shouldn’t be that hard. And that’s one of the main complaints people have: On both sides, Democrat or Republican, who do you trust to fix it? Who can you trust?
By Sarah Brown, as told to Mattie Kahn
I grew up in Missouri and was raised in a conservative family. I’ve always been politically conscious, but I started to become interested in libertarianism in high school. After that I drifted left fast. The issues that scare women here, that keep my friends up at night, are abortion rights, LGBTQ rights, criminal justice, and jobs. There’s so much at stake now. It’s all these issues. We can’t choose just one and tell our representatives, “I vote on this.” It’s not that people now see their vote as more powerful or more important; people see their vote as more desperate, especially because of the vacancy on the Supreme Court.
In the Trump era, we expect the Supreme Court to be a check on Trump, but because he’s already been able to nominate one justice and now he’ll be able to nominate a second, it’s not that simple. We see what Neil Gorsuch has done for Republicans in just one term on the bench. One more seat will give conservatives license to do even more damage. Come November, it would be hard to make me vote for anyone but a Democrat because of how important it is to shift that Senate balance and how contested Claire McCaskill’s Senate seat is. Even if I don’t like all of her policies, her seat is too important to lose to a pro-Trump candidate.
Missouri has antiabortion and anti-LGBTQ legislation on the books. These laws are unenforceable now, but people here who want them to go into effect are just waiting for the Supreme Court to rule in their favor. If that happens, the impact on women and queer people will be immediate. I can’t hammer home just how crucial it is that we have representatives who fight this nominee and any Trump nominees down the line. To candidates and elected officials, I want to be very clear: We will hold you accountable if you don’t fight these battles. We need you to act. Do not walk away from us.
Melania Trump is described as a “mysterious First Lady” weathering a chaotic White House in an in-depth New York Times profile published on Friday. The piece examines her role in the administration and references the “I REALLY DON’T CARE, DO U?” jacket that created a lot of controversy during her visit to the border in June—which, according to a source in the story, she wore as a statement toward anyone “outside and inside the White House” critical of her decision to visit a shelter for migrant children.
If you remember, Trump was photographed stepping out of her car at the Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland before boarding a jet to the Texas Upbring New Hope Children’s Shelter. The images captured her green jacket, made by Zara, emblazoned with the words, “I really don’t care, do u?” Many instantly took issue with the First Lady’s choice of fashion, calling it tone-deaf and insensitive in the context of her visit to a children’s shelter during the family separation crisis.
Already, there have been myriad excuses made for the jacket: Donald Trump said his wife was addressing the news media, while Melania’s camp wrote in an email to White House pool reporters, “It’s a jacket. There was no hidden message.” This new explanation from the Times‘ anonymous source suggests that the jacket was a calculated move aimed at detractors who took issue with the First Lady visiting the children’s shelter—a move that would seem to conflict with her husband’s hard-line stances on immigration.
Per the article, “a person close to Mrs. Trump said the jacket was actually directed at anyone—both outside and inside the White House—who wanted to criticize her decision to visit the children in light of the administration’s aggressive immigration policies.”
Despite the reframing of the situation, the East Wing insisted to the New York Times that the jacket “had no underlying message.”
“No one tells the first lady what to do,” Trump’s communications director Stephanie Grisham says in the piece. “Our office has nothing to do with what clothing choices she makes, and this situation was no different.”
Melania has made headlines for occasionally seeming to contradict the President—most recently, she released a statement applauding basketball player Lebron James’ charitable work after her husband bashed him on Twitter. However, many people have accused her of being disengaged, since she rarely appears in public. She’s also faced backlash for her frequent silence amid the administration’s more controversial moments and for her “Be Best” campaign against cyberbullying, which has been called ironic, given the President’s tendency to lambast people online. (It’s also had some trouble taking off).
That’s about it on the jacket front, but the Times‘ profile makes for a good read—click on over to it here.
The Spy Who Dumped Me, in theaters now, is an action-packed thriller directed by Susanna Fogel. Here, she breaks down what it’s like to be a female filmmaker right now in Hollywood.
When I was initially asked to write an essay for Glamour about my experience as a female filmmaker in Hollywood and my thoughts on gender parity, I found it challenging to come up with an angle that felt at all fresh. Over the past year, so many people far more articulate than I have written think pieces, done research, and published studies pointing to the vast inequities. It’s such a given that the entertainment industry is sexist, and the public outrage has been so well-documented, that I doubted I could even come up with 1,000 original words. Of course we need equality. Duh. is only six.
It was in the middle of my writer’s block that I had the privilege of participating in a panel of female filmmakers at Comic-Con. Almost immediately, one of the moderators expressed a concern that echoed my thoughts: Are people going to start feeling fatigued by the conversation? Will we all become desensitized and disengaged from the dialogue because—as happens so often with social progress—once it’s been said, we assume someone else is out there handling it?
So, I challenged myself to think about aspects of gender bias that I haven’t heard discussed, observations specific to my (rarified) experience. After decades of struggle, I’m no longer an aspiring filmmaker or a first-time filmmaker. I’m a person who has opportunities now. But how are those opportunities different because I’m a woman? The equality conversation starts with making sure women get the same opportunities as men to become filmmakers, but it can’t end there. That’s because once we are working filmmakers, certain things still feel off.
PHOTO: Rich Fury
Mila Kunis, Susanna Fogel, and Kate McKinnon at The Spy Who Dumped Me premiere.
Here are some of them…
Movies Starring Women Are Labeled Differently
I just made an R-rated action comedy (The Spy Who Dumped Me) with the stunt coordinator from the Bond and Bourne franchises. And yet, the statistical analysis and press in the lead up to it groups the film with other female-driven releases, like Blockers and I Feel Pretty (a teen sex comedy and a romantic comedy, respectively). In other words, “female driven” is considered a genre, even though each of the above-mentioned movies would be categorized in three different genres had they starred men. It’s as though Lethal Weapon, Superbad, and Shallow Hal had all been grouped together and called “male-driven movies.”
It’s not just men who are guilty of this. Woke feminist writers do it too. And I get why: female-driven movies are still a minority. But at some point we should stop calling them such because it’s perpetuating our role as The Other and encouraging us to market our work only to other women. In a perfect world, just as women see movies with male protagonists all the time, men would be comfortable seeing movies starring women without feeling embarrassed or apologizing for it.
Those “Female-Driven” Films Are All I’m Asked to Direct
The majority of projects I’ve been submitted in my career are about women dealing with some combination of weddings, fertility, and fashion. Yet I’ve never made a movie about any of these things or otherwise expressed interest in these topics, except occasionally when I’m in Madewell and ask one of my friends if I should buy a striped shirt and they remind me that all my shirts are striped.
Why Do People Assume I Can’t Write an Action Scene?
I co-wrote The Spy Who Dumped Me with a male friend, David Iserson. Many people, including women, assumed David wrote all the action and I wrote all the friendship stuff. Granted, I’d never written any action before this—but neither had he. For the record, we both wrote the kills. We both use words like “kills.” And we both wrote the feelings and friendship stuff.
Interviewers Constantly Undermine My Credentials
I just attended my first studio press junket, where almost every interviewer asked me what it was like directing an action film for the first time after making a low-budget indie. This is a totally fair question. Still, I would be curious to know if Colin Trevorrow, who directed the Jurassic Park reboot (a far bigger leap) after making a low-budget indie movie, was asked it as many times at his first studio press junket. I’m sure some people did ask him—but I bet more people asked me.
Men Direct Movies About Women, but the Reverse Is Rare
Men direct movies about women all the time. Three very good female-driven movies directed by men are Election, Bridesmaids, and Amélie. Those films all resonated widely with a female audience because those directors led with an understanding of humanity that transcends gender. I’m a female director whose work is filled with humanity, but I’ve never been submitted a character-driven movie with a male lead. If offered the opportunity, I’d love to direct a movie like Wonder Boys, The Social Network, or Stand By Me. Doesn’t happen.
Women just aren’t contenders for those jobs, even now when we’re sent female-driven superhero movies. Women are now getting the chance to direct the kind of movies that it’s crazy haven’t been directed by women in the past, like Wonder Woman, but that’s kind of it. There’s still an assumption that we can’t understand a personal movie with a male lead that doesn’t have anything explicitly female about it. Of course we can. We grew up on those movies. Loving movies at all means loving movies that are mostly about men.
The Pay Gap Still Exists
As has been widely documented, female actors and filmmakers are often paid less than their male counterparts. In 2018, this isn’t a matter of evil executives twirling their mustaches and seeing if they can get away with underpaying us for the same exact work. It’s simpler than that: The way a filmmaker raises their fee is to make more movies (and more successful movies), but over half the films that get produced have male protagonists. As discussed above, we don’t have equal access to most of those jobs, which means we have fewer chances to raise our salaries than men do.
Anyway.
I’m going to end on a positive note because, despite all of the above, there are so many of them. I’m now fortunate enough to enjoy certain access and opportunities, and I just had the privilege of making a movie I’m proud of with a production company and studio full of women and men who had my back. Progress for women is happening.
Like that Comic-Con panel. The room was packed, and so many young women were lined up to ask questions that we didn’t have time to get to everyone. The questions were thoughtful and smart, from queries about technical stuff to asking how they can gain enough confidence to be a leader. Clearly, this career path that once seemed so narrow and inhospitable to us is a real option now. And I feel proud of every one of those women for dreaming of it.
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