I have an obsession with finding the perfect gift for everyone on my list each year. We all give and get so many things none of us will really use that I get a particular sense of gratification in finding gifts that my loved ones need, love, and are more perfect than they even thought to ask for. (And if I’m being really honest, I also love the sense of utter satisfaction that comes from knowing you completely crushed that Secret Santa—competitive scorpios, in the house!)
Being a wellness editor, my definition of the perfect gift often includes some aspect that makes us feel happier and healthier as humans. Whether that’s an on-the-go pack of essential oils that can help with everything from a headache to anxiety or a pair of sneakers that look just as sick at the office as they do in the gym. These 13 items are the favorites on my gift list this year—I’ll definitely be getting a few of them for myself.
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Demi Lovato is ready for a new phase in her life—one in which she shares her most authentic self, in every sense of the word.
Lovato has never been one to keep quiet on matters that are important to her, of course, but a new extremely personal and powerful photo she posted on Instagram is one many women will be able to relate to. The photo is of Lovato in a bathing suit, completely unedited.
“This is my biggest fear. A photo of me in a bikini unedited,” she wrote in the caption. “And guess what, it’s CELLULIT!!!! [sic] I’m just literally sooooo tired of being ashamed of my body, editing it (yes the other bikini pics were edited – and I hate that I did that but it’s the truth) so that others think I’m THEIR idea of what beautiful is, but it’s just not me.”
She goes on to explain why it’s important to her to shed the trappings of a Photoshopped world. “This is what I got. I want this new chapter in my life to be about being authentic to who I am rather than trying to meet someone else’s standards,” she wrote. “So here’s me, unashamed, unafraid and proud to own a body that has fought through so much and will continue to amaze me when I hopefully give birth one day.”
Lovato, who recently shot an episode of Will & Grace is happy with where her career—and life in general—is right now. “It’s such a great feeling to be back in tv/film while not stressing myself with a strenuous workout schedule before 14 hour days, or depriving myself from a real birthday cake rather than opting for watermelon & whip cream with candles because I was terrified of REAL cake and was miserable on some crazy diet shit,” she says.
She continues, “Anyway, here’s me, RAW, REAL! And I love me. And you should love you too! Now back to the studio.. I’m working on an anthem.. also. Just so everyone’s clear.. I’m not stoked on my appearance BUT I am appreciative of it and sometimes that’s the best I can do. I hope to inspire someone to appreciate their body today too. #nationalcelulliteday #celluLIT”
See the full photo and caption, below:
Several celebrities and friends of Lovato’s took to the comments section to praise the singer for speaking out. “Showing us YOU is so incredibly beautiful. Thank you Demi! Love you Mama!” wrote Ashley Graham. Hailey Bieber shared some flame emojis and added, “U LOOK INCREDIBLE.” The Bachelorette star Mike Johnson wrote, “Look at me like that again…love yaself.” And Lovato’s manager, Scooter Braun, said, “YOU did this. YOU. YOU are amazing…YOU are smart…you are beautiful… you are wonderful… you are brave…and you are kind. And I’m proud of YOU. Hell Im proud to know YOU! Bravo for loving YOU first and in turn inspiring millions.”
According to a new report from the CDC, the number of women age 20 to 24 giving birth has fallen 4 percent since 2016 to a record low of 71 per 1,000. While some millennials are putting off motherhood, others don’t want children now or later—and Khaliha Hawkins is one of them. Here’s her story, as told to Juno DeMelo.
My 11-year-old sister was born when I was a freshman in high school. Being around for her birth and watching my parents—who both had full-time, demanding jobs—raise her, I was like, yeah, that’s not for me.
Don’t get me wrong: Of course I love and care about my sister, and I still babysit her. But my parents were straight-up with me about how expensive childcare is, and I was flabbergasted. And even though my mom had great insurance when she was pregnant, I was in shock about how much my sister’s birth cost.
I also know that you have to have a lot of patience to be a parent, and my tolerance for bullshit is low! I have friends who stop what they’re doing when they see babies, who have always dreamt about being parents, and that’s just not me.
People ask me all the time whether I want kids. I’m usually hesitant to tell them I don’t, because then they ask why, and I don’t feel like I need to give them an explanation. If I do respond, I simply say “no” and leave it at that. If you’re not my partner or a close friend or family member, it’s none of your business.
“I know that you have to have a lot of patience to be a parent, and my tolerance for bullshit is low!”
I have a really large family, and they bring it up every Thanksgiving. My mom always says you should have kids early so it’s easier on you and your body and so you can grow together, and I’m like, no! I can’t imagine it happening, but if I somehow decide down the road that I want to be a mother, I would just adopt.
Even though I’ve been warned that supposedly every man wants a child, I’ve actually been set up with a guy based on the fact that he also didn’t want kids. I’m not dating anyone right now. If I did meet someone, I’d make sure to bring up the fact that I don’t want kids before things got serious.
Obviously I’m on birth control, the importance of which was drilled into me early on. I used to be on acne medication, and I didn’t want to have to remember to take multiple pills every day, so I use a hormonal birth control I don’t have to think about as often.
I know how much you have to sacrifice to be a parent. Some of my friends think I’d be a great mom because I’m so passionate, but I’m passionate about art and politics and my career, not children! People always say it’s selfish to not want kids, whereas I feel like it’s the exact opposite. It would be selfish of me to bring a child into this world knowing I’ve had these convictions for so long.
My very last question for Jane Fonda is rather broad: “What do you think of being deemed an icon?”
“Well,” she starts before a brief pause, “an icon is somebody that you hold up as an example to represent something. And when you mention their name people know what it is you’re talking about. And, I guess, in my case, it’s a strong, brave woman who hasn’t steered away from controversy. A woman who, more than anything, has kept going.”
Jane Fonda’s enduring tenacity—that keep goingness, even at 80—isn’t lost on me. In 2012, my own mother lost her husband, my stepfather, to a lengthy and laborious battle with liver disease and soon found herself in a particular state of limbo. Here was a woman who, after 63 years of traveling the world, raising five children (three were triplets!), becoming a successful financial advisor at Merrill Lynch, and imbuing her Arkansas community with female empowerment, was forced to put life on hold for months on end to nurse and nurture her partner of 21 years through his final days. And then, after he died, forced to renegotiate the world as a widowed woman of “a certain age.”
Some months into this new chapter I reminded Mom of a quote I’d recently unearthed by Jane Fonda. “We’re still living with the old paradigm of age as an arch. That’s the metaphor, the old metaphor: You’re born, you peak at midlife, and decline into decrepitude,” she said in a 2011 TED Talk. “A more appropriate metaphor for aging is a staircase—the upward ascension of the human spirit, bringing us into wisdom, wholeness and authenticity.”
Fonda was referring to what she dubbed her “Third Act,” the point in time when age isn’t a burden but rather a period of reinvention, reinvigoration, and, in a sense, fearlessness. Eight years later and my mother still clings to that quote as she, now at 70 and in her own Third Act, continues up her staircase, having found a whole new joy in her career in lieu of retirement, traveling internationally at least three times a year, and regularly wearing out her grandchildren with her near constant motion.
When I tell Fonda this, I can practically hear her smile on the other end of the phone. “It makes me so happy you told me that,” she says. “You know, when you’re my age, you have to continue to be an example. You can’t just say it—you have to do it. Then women like your mother will say, ‘Oh, if Jane can do it, so can I!’ It’s nice to be viewed that way at 80. At 30, if you had told me that I would live this long and be considered an icon, I would’ve told you you were out of your friggin’ mind!”
And yet, what Fonda continues to accomplish as a proud octogenarian would raise even millennial eyebrows: The fifth season of Fonda’s hit Netflix series, Grace and Frankie, which she co-leads along with Lily Tomlin, premieres in 2019; earlier this year she appeared alongside Diane Keaton, Candice Bergen, and Mary Steenburgen in the $80+-million-grossing comedy Book Club; and, this month on HBO, Fonda stars in a documentary that looks back on both her life and nearly 60-year career. The title? Jane Fonda in Five Acts.
PHOTO: Getty Images
PHOTO: Shutterstock
Over the years Fonda, who took home two Oscars for her roles in ‘Klute’ (1971) and ‘Coming Home’ (1978), became one of Hollywood’s most impressive hyphenates.
PHOTO: Alamy
Mere minutes into the two-hour retrospective and it’s clear that Fonda has always had her own definition of a life well lived. As the daughter of famed actor Henry Fonda and socialite Frances Seymour Brokaw (who committed suicide when Fonda was just 12 years old), Fonda’s complicated relationship with celebrity didn’t bring her to her eventual craft until her early twenties. After studying art in Paris, Fonda had returned to the states, where she met legendary acting coach Lee Strasberg, who helped her channel sensitivities and insecurities into dramatic motivation. After taking Strasberg’s class, Fonda made her Broadway debut in 1960’s There Was A Little Girl, which earned her first of two career Tony nominations. An illustrious film career followed. Movies like Tall Story (1960), Cat Ballou (1965), and Barefoot in the Park (1967), with Robert Redford, established her as a bankable movie star. Barbarella (1968), directed by her first husband, french auteur director Robert Vadim, made her an international sex symbol. With meatier, more mature roles in They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? (1969), Klute (1971), Julia (1977) and Coming Home (1978), she became an awards darling, receiving best actress Oscar nominations for all four, and actually taking trophies home for Klute and Coming Home.
But the late sixties and seventies also found Fonda adopting a more profound role: that of political activist. An intense critic of the Vietnam War, she began organizing anti-war efforts. And, in 1973, she married fellow activist and politician Tom Hayden. (The pair divorced in 1990.)
Her newly-ignited passion roused detractors. Fiery pro-war Americans—who deemed Fonda as nothing more than “just an actress”—bitterly turned on her. In 1972, Fonda made a visit to Hanoi in order to get a first-hand glimpse of the effects the war and was subsequently photographed smiling and laughing while sitting in a North Vietnamese anti-aircraft weapon. “That’s one of the only things from my past that still hurts me,” Fonda says, referring to the U.S. citizens who nicknamed her “Hanoi Jane.” (Fonda, in her 2005 autobiography, My Life So Far, claimed she was manipulated into taking the picture.) “The continuing of the lies—I was the victim of fake news, and it’s painful that people still believe that about me,” she says. “It also pains me because it means there are a lot of people out there that still don’t understand what the Vietnam War was really about. And that is scary. If you don’t understand, then we will do it again.”
Despite the setback, Fonda was steadfast in her advocacy while also maintaining her career as an actress. Life, it seemed, began to exist on two planes: If Fonda wasn’t starring in seminal films, she was militant in her support for everything from the Black Panther movement to Native American rights to victims of sexual abuse. “I remember when we were doing 9 to 5, she was making calls in between takes to raise money for one of [ex] Tom [Hayden]’s campaigns,” says her Grace and Frankie co-star Lily Tomlin. “Jane’s commitment is profound. If she feels like she is doing the right thing, she’s fearless.”
PHOTO: Rebecca Ponsdomenech
Fonda (right) with American labor leader and civil rights activist Cesar Chavez in 1979.
Through the decades, and long before it was trendy, Fonda figured out how to make Hollywood and activism service each other. In fact, her now-legendary ascent to aerobics guru—starting in 1982 with Jane Fonda’s Workout, which launched a home-exercise revolution—was in service to her side hustle. Over the course of her career Fonda has produced 23 workout videos (that have sold more than 17 million copies) along with five books and 13 audio tape. The success of these projects has given Fonda the freedom to further dedicate herself to causes like the Women’s Media Center, a non-profit she, Robin Morgan, and Gloria Steinem founded in 2005 to champion women in the media through advocacy, leadership training, and original content creation. “Public speaking. Lobbying Washington—all of that is a lot easier when you have a hit behind you,” she says. “So I’m not apologizing for being a celebrity anymore. And I’m not considering stopping acting. I’m going to keep it up as long as I can because I know that helps my activism.”
And her efforts have inspired a new generation of Hollywood hyphenates. “Jane could easily just sit back and be like, ‘I made it and I can do whatever the hell I want,'” says Brooklyn Decker, who plays Fonda’s daughter in Grace and Frankie. “But she still looks to the people who aren’t being represented in this country and she says, How can I help you? She’s still fighting for people who can’t or don’t know how to fight for themselves. She understands that ‘Fonda’ is bigger than her.”
As big as the name may seem, though, it seems the Fonda Movement hasn’t yet peaked. “I am still smack dab in my third act now. I have another 10 years until the end of my third act,” she says. Indeed, this calendar year includes a push for employment reform on behalf of domestic workers and a potential 9 to 5 sequel. “I don’t know whether to call it a coda or an epilogue. But I am going to do a lot,” she says. “There’s a lot on my horizon.”
Jane Fonda in Five Acts premieres on HBO on Monday, September 24. This profile is part of a full week honoring iconic women. For more, head here.
In March, Demi Lovato celebrated six years of sobriety, a journey she’s been very transparent about with her fans. “So grateful for another year of joy, health and happiness,” she wrote at the time. “It is possible.”
And now, Lovato’s talking about substance abuse—relapsing, specifically—again in a new song called “Sober.” “I got no excuses for all of these goodbyes. Call me when it’s over ’cause I’m dying inside,” Lovato sings in the song. “Wake me when the shakes are gone and the cold sweats disappear. Call me when it’s over and myself has reappeared. I don’t know why, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know why. I do it every, every, every time. It’s only when I’m lonely. Sometimes I just want to cave and I don’t want to fight.”
She continues, “I’m sorry for the fans I lost, who watched me fall again. I want to be a role model, but I’m only human.”
Listen to it for yourself, below:
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The song pretty much speaks for itself. “Momma, I’m so sorry. I’m not sober anymore. Daddy, please forgive me, for the drinks spilled on the floor,” she sings at one point. Lovato further drove home the message by posting a link to the song on Twitter and captioning it, “My truth.”
Lovato candidly discussed her past experiences with sobriety in her 2017 YouTube documentary, Simply Complicated. In the film, she explained how she hoped being open about her struggles would help de-stigmatize them, especially for young women. “There weren’t a lot of young pop stars…talking about their issues, and I wanted [to be] someone that my little sister could look up to,” she said. “I wanted to be the role model that I needed growing up.”
In a new interview with Numéro magazine, famed fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld—the man behind Chanel, Fendi, and his eponymous line—had some harsh words about the #MeToo movement.
“I’m fed up with it…What shocks me most in all of this are the starlets who have taken 20 years to remember what happened,” he said when asked about the topic. “Not to mention the fact there are no prosecution witnesses.” The 84-year-old German designer does, however, say that he “cannot stand” Harvey Weinstein.
As for whether or not #MeToo or Time’s Up have affected his work? That’s a hard no from Lagerfeld. “Absolutely not,” he says. “I read somewhere that now you must ask a model if she is comfortable with posing. It’s simply too much, from now on, as a designer, you can’t do anything. As for the accusations against the poor Karl Templar [creative director at Interview magazine], I don’t believe a single word of it. A girl complained he tried to pull her pants down and he is instantly excommunicated from a profession that up until then had venerated him. Its unbelievable. If you don’t want your pants pulled about, don’t become a model! Join a nunnery, there’ll always be a place for you in the convent. They’re recruiting even!”
His comments on #MeToo weren’t the only eye-raising things from his Numéro interview. On designers claiming they feel overworked, he said, “The worst thing about all of this, is that they try and blame me for their problems with working overtime. Azzedine [Alaïa], for example, before falling down the stairs, claimed that the supposedly unsustainable rhythms in fashion today were entirely my fault, which is absurd.” Before adding, about Alaïa, “I don’t criticise him, even if at the end of his career all he did was make ballet slippers for menopausal fashion victims.” When asked who between Virgil Abloh, Jacquemus, and Jonathan Anderson he’d take to a desert island, he responded, “I’d kill myself first.”
The interview concludes with this: “When I was young, my mother always said to me that I was stupid, she called me ‘Mule’. I’ve probably just been overcompensating ever since. And I’m not surrounded by idiots, I have fantastic teams. So, when it comes to the retarded and other ignoramuses, I don’t see them, I don’t know them…”