Lizzo can win Grammys, play the flute, rap, help you find the will to live, and create a national stir just by standing up at a basketball game.
But she cannot make Fancy Internet Coffee by hand, and in this sense, she is just like all of us.
You know Fluffy Online Dessert Coffee, perhaps by its legal name: Dalgona coffee. It’s the handmade Korean trend that has become an international sensation during quarantine. Caffeine-fiends and cool teens looking for a way to get non-boring coffee while staying at home developed this three-ingredient, whipped instant coffee, which you can make at home, following an easy recipe.
When you were young and full of hope and hadn’t added hot water yet.
TikTokThat is…if you have an electric mixer, you can easily make it at home. If you only have a whisk—or, God forbid, a spoon—it’s not so easy. Stirring by hand just isn’t an efficient way to whip air into liquid (that’s why most people buy butter, instead of churning it from heavy cream). You can make Dalgona coffee with a spoon or whisk, but only in the same way you can, technically, knit a tablecloth; it’s a fun activity if you’re in the mood, but time and space will likely lose all sense of meaning for you while you’re doing it. However, if you succeed you will feel like a pioneer queen and will instantly be vaulted into the next level of the quarantine simulation: i.e. baking your own bread. (Next thing you know, you’ll be whittling.)
Take it from Lizzo, who in a just world would win an Oscar for Best Short Film for the video masterpiece in which she attempts Dalgona coffee. Captioned “Shit don’t work,” this TikTok has everything: scenic shots, a musical number, smash cuts, comedy, tragedy, and a twist ending worthy of M. Night Shyamalan.
You can watch her attempt here.
Lizzo is all of us, in the Wild West of quarantine
Lizzo, consider a hand mixer. And for anyone else planning to tough it out making hand-whipped Dalgona, your best bet is to switch mixing hands regularly (so you can get evenly ripped) and cue up a TV show or movie, cause you’re in for the long haul. If you stream Hustlers when you start mixing, you’ll have a perfect cup of coffee by the time Lizzo starts dancing with Usher. Probably.
Jenny Singer is a staff writer for Glamour. You can follow her on Twitter.
