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'Riverdale' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Who Is the Sugar Man?


Tonight’s episode of Riverdale was pretty standard: Jughead was annoying, Cheryl was perfect, and Betty made a series of ill-advised decisions. Want the details? See below. (Spoilers ahead.)

Things kick off with Jughead, obnoxiously typing about how everyone in Riverdale wears a mask. So deep! So artsy! But his pretension is interrupted by a no-pants Toni Topaz, who asks him if he wants breakfast. The implication here is that these two…slept together? Damn, maybe Bughead’s dead, after all.

Cut to Betty on the North Side, running to Nick St. Clair’s hotel room because, remember, she told the Black Hood to kill him. Well, he’s not dead—just bruised up—and he tells Betty “that bitch” Veronica should be lucky he’s not pressing charges. Um, he’s the definition of a vile, disgusting pig. Him press charges? He assaulted Veronica and Cheryl. They need to press charges and toss his WASPy ass in jail. I high-key wouldn’t mind if the Black Hood just came in and finished him off. Would anyone?

The salt-and-pepper sheriff arrives minutes later and says people have filed “complaints” about Nick and that he needs to leave with him. Praise effing be.

The Black Hood then calls Betty and says he didn’t kill Nick because he isn’t one of “Riverdale’s sons.” This archaic language is so cringe-y and ridiculous. He says Betty showed him her “real self” when she told him to kill Nick, and now the real work can begin. He literally thinks he and Betty are partners, and Betty’s like, “WTF, you’re crazy!”

Meanwhile, Cheryl’s mom, Penelope, is being terrible: She says, “Lord knows what Cheryl did to the St. Clair boy to provoke him “—as if it’s her fault she was assaulted. Thankfully, Hermione Lodge puts her in her place, which is the first decent thing she’s done all season. Penelope says she wants this “issue” handled “discreetly” and that she’s not pressing charges against Nick because “nothing happened” to Cheryl. I could scream.

Veronica doesn’t want Cheryl to back down from this and even reveals that Nick assaulted her just a few days before. But Cheryl isn’t hearing it—and she even gets mad at Veronica for telling the Lodge parents about her assault. She says she doesn’t want to be Veronica’s scapegoat for revenge; if Veronica wants to go after Nick, she should do it on her claims—not Cheryl’s. But, like, they all should just band together and kick the crap out of him again.

Update: Toni and Jughead didn’t sleep together: It was just a “PG-13 grope session,” whatever the hell that means. Toni tells Jughead straight-up that he’s not over Betty and she’s not gonna be his rebound, which, hell yeah. She also reveals she’s “more into girls,” so stay tuned on what that means.

Betty says she’s done answering the Black Hood’s phone calls, which is a good idea, and that she’ll tell Jughead and Veronica what happened to her when “things settle.” But this drama is put on hold when Betty sees Toni and Jughead looking cozy at Pop’s. Ahhh!

Also ahhh: This “intervention” of sorts that Alice Cooper hosts for all the kids who did Jingle Jangle with Nick. Veronica’s still salty about Betty freaking out on her at the party. (Little does she know the reason.) It ends with Mayor McCoy saying taking down the South Side is now her main priority (because that’s where these kids got the drugs). She then orders a dramatic raid of South Side High, where Jughead’s Serpent friends are arrested for seemingly no reason. Jughead escapes, though, because Archie tips him off beforehand.

PHOTO: The CW

Betty stupidly decides to answer the Black Hood’s next call, where he orders her to find the person at the head of Riverdale’s drug problem: the Sugar Man. If she refuses, he’ll kill someone. This all could’ve been avoided had she just…not answered the phone.

She starts with talking to Cheryl, whose father was Riverdale’s biggest drug smuggler. Maybe he knows the head of the operation? But Cheryl says the Sugar Man was just an elaborate character her mother came up with to scare her and Jason into being good. What? (Cheryl looks bomb in this scene, BTW.) Cheryl then confronts her mother about the Sugar Man, but, surprise, she just denies the whole thing. Penelope’s terrifying.

In a plot point I don’t care about, Jughead meets with the head of the Ghoulies and the Serpents; they tell Jughead they’re joining forces, and he has to endorse their treaty, which he’s pissed about because the Ghoulies are why the mayor raided South Side High in the first place. (They deal Jingle Jangle.)

Jughead visits F.P. in jail, and he says the Serpents should challenge the Ghoulies to a street race (???) in order to get them to back off. If the Serpents win, they control the South Side and get rid of Jingle Jangle. If they lose, the Ghoulies can keep dealing Jingle Jangle and also get control of the White Worm and F.P.’s trailer park. It’s honestly shocking how much this painfully bro-y nonsense bores me.

Thank God: Betty finally tells Veronica everything—that the Black Hood is calling her, which is why she said those awful things to her in the last episode. Veronica agrees to help Betty track down the Sugar Man, and just like that B and V are back. The only couple that matters on this whole damn show.

The crew has to do community service for getting busted at the Jingle Jangle hotel party, and their outfits remind me of the time Rory Gilmore picked up trash by the highway. (Remember that glorious plot point on Gilmore Girls?)

After their manual labor, Betty and Veronica go on a South Side mission to catch the Sugar Man. But they’re caught and taken to the head of the Ghoulies, Malakai, who was just setting terms with Jughead and Archie about that street race. Yes, Archie, Jughead, Betty, Veronica are all randomly at this South Side hot bed, and they’re shook.

Also shook is Cheryl, who runs into Nick St. Clair at Pop’s. He disgustingly claims she “wanted” to sleep with him that night. And that’s what it takes for Cheryl to threaten charges against Nick. He sneers at this, though, and says his parents made a “hush money” deal with Penelope to keep quiet about what happened that night. My heart’s honestly breaking for Cheryl, and I want the Black Hood to wipe Riverdale clean of Nick. A literal monster.

Cheryl steals her mother’s check from the St. Clairs and tearfully tells her she won’t give it back until she learns the truth about the Sugar Man. She demands Penelope care about her more for once in her life, which is honestly just devastating. Cheryl deserves better. Always.

This is also when Veronica learns her parents are still accepting money from the St. Clairs, too. So she tells them about Nick assaulting her, and Hiram starts seeing red. It’s then implied Hiram orders a goon to run the St. Clairs off the road, leaving Nick injured for weeks. Bless up.

Back to the episode’s worst storyline: Betty’s helping Jughead fix up a car for this “street race” and, for whatever reason, won’t tell him about the Black Hood’s phone calls…even though she told Veronica. So Jughead still thinks Betty dead-ass dumped him via Archie, which is hilarious. Anyway, they start their race. It’s really masculine and misogynistic and gross. But it’s interrupted by the Riverdale Police Department, who stops the Ghoulies’ car once they cross a bridge. Apparently Archie called them.

Chapter Nineteen: Death Proof

PHOTO: Bettina Strauss

More truths come out, too: Penelope reveals there are multiple Sugar Men—all dangerous. Jason’s death happened because Clifford wanted him to meet the then-current Sugar Man. Cheryl finds out who the Sugar Man incumbent is, and tells Betty. Betty then writes a story about him and sends it to the sheriff’s office. When the Black Hood calls, she says she’s bringing the Sugar Man to justice on her terms, not his…and that she’s going to find out his identity next. Keep in mind we don’t know who the Sugar Man is at this point. I vaguely care about this.

Actually, now we know: The Sugar Man is Jughead’s anti-drug English teacher, Mr. Phillips. What. The. Hell? And the Black Hood kills him!

Curtains close. TBH, this episode was a snooze-and-a-half. Hopefully next week’s chapter is spruced up with either more Cheryl or shirtless Reggie scenes. Preferably the former.



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A New 'Riverdale' Fan Theory Claims This Surprising Character Is Black Hood


This season, Riverdale has us wondering who the heck the serial killer Black Hood is. We’re approaching episode six now, and the creators are still stringing us along episode after episode. But a new Reddit theory has us convinced the killer is closer to the core crew than we originally thought. According to Redditor Kvelynm, who posted their theory on Sunday, there are two major clues that Kevin is the man underneath the mysterious Black Hood. Buckle in and get ready for some chills.

The first hint is that the serial killer’s most notable attribute is the fact that he’s obsessed with Betty. If you recall earlier on in the season, Kevin and Betty had a big blowout of a fight when she stalked him in the woods with Cheryl Blossom to try to stop his cruising in the shady woods—and then she promptly told his sheriff dad.

The next most important clue is that Black Hood doesn’t like sharing Betty with other people. Hence why he manipulated her into cutting ties with the new girl in town, Veronica Lodge, and her new love interest, Jughead Jones, both of whom Betty’s been focusing on. Kevin used to be Betty’s right-hand man (aside from Archie Andrews, of course) before Season 1, when Veronica moved to Riverdale from New York, and she had romantic feelings for Jughead. If Kevin is indeed Black Hood, maybe his reasoning for targeting her would be that he’s spending less time with Betty now that she has new friends.

There’s another tiny detail, too: According to the comic, Kevin and Betty have been best friends since kindergarten. The fact that these two friends go way back would also explain how Black Hood knew Betty would know the Nancy Drew mystery book from two episodes ago—as well as give some logic to his assumption that Betty would share her woes of manipulation with her beloved Archie Andrews.

Of course, the theory isn’t perfect: Although it makes sense in terms of Betty’s plotline, it doesn’t hold up when it comes to Kevin’s motivations behind the other random killings around Riverdale (RIP Miss Grundy!). And he was supposedly cruising for those guys while the Black Hood was striking (or was he?!). We’ll just have to keep watching.

Related Stories:
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–This ‘Riverdale’ Fan Theory About the Core Four Is Very Creepy but Totally Possible
–This ‘Riverdale’ Theory Suggests Betty’s Mom Is a Witch—and Related to Sabrina Spellman



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'Riverdale' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Oh, Betty…


Tonight’s Riverdale episode was intense, to say the least. There were breakups, (more) fist-fights, IRL rattlesnakes…even a subtle Taylor Swift reference. Let’s just jump right into the madness. Spoilers ahead.

We open with Betty Permanent-Ponytail Cooper shooketh to her core because she’s currently phoning with the Black Hood. He’s clearly using some cheap-ass software to alter how his voice sounds, like he’s on To Catch a Predator or something. Apparently, the Black Hood was at the town hall—just like Betty and Jughead predicted—but he didn’t hurt anyone.

This is so ridiculous: The Black Hood says he wants to “cleanse” Riverdale of “sinners,” including Betty’s sister, Polly, who he believes has a “sin in her womb.” Somehow, he knows Polly’s living at a farm two hours north of Riverdale, and he tells Betty he’ll “carve” Polly “like a jack-o-lantern” if she tells the police she knows his next move. I should be scared, but I’m cackling.

Minutes later, Alice comes barging in and laments about how Jughead’s showing his “true colors” now that he’s moved to the South Side. To be honest, though, I think Jughead’s the worst no matter where he lives. Alice suggests Jughead is the one responsible for a lot of the fuckery going down in Riverdale, which I wish were true.

Meanwhile, Archie gave into the principal’s demands and issued an apology about the Red Circle. Wah! Bummer, this means no more hot shirtless dudes wearing masks and screaming nonsense.

But he has enough nonsense coming from Betty: Stupidly, she decides to risk Polly’s life and tells Archie the Black Hood called her. They exchange worried, wide-eyed glances, and Archie says he’s not going to let her go through this alone. But being alone is better than having loose-cannon Archie on your team, IMHO.

Veronica’s ex-boyfriend, Nick St. Clair, is coming to Riverdale with his parents to see the SoDale Project Hiram’s working on. The Lodges need investors with deep pockets, and Hiram and Hermione essentially tell Veronica to seduce Nick (and, subsequently, his parents) into giving money to SoDale. Archie’s clearly miffed at the idea of Veronica’s ex coming to town.

Over at South Side High, the Serpents are still salty about the rainy fist fight they had with the Red Circle and the article Alice Cooper wrote condemning the South Side. Their solution to this is to blow up the newspaper office. Jughead, naturally, flips out when he hears this and pleads with them to change their plan. They basically tell Jughead to STFU and that he can’t be half a Serpent. He has to choose between them and Riverdale (read: Betty). Jughead furrows his brows at this like a child. He then goes to a Serpent bar, in his father’s Serpent jacket, and says he’s ready to fully join the gang. He’s obviously lying, but the Serpents buy it and warn him about their “initiation” process. Oof.

PHOTO: The CW

Spoiler alert: It’s a dog. The initiation process is literally just Jughead having to take care of a dog. Oh, and then he has to memorize a bunch of Serpent rules and scream them in a bar like a marine. And then he has to stick his hand in a rattlesnake’s cage! OMG?!?

Apparently, Jughead wants to become a Serpent to keep the gang from from waging an all-out war against the North Side. It’s a noble gesture, but does he really think they’re going to listen to him? He wears a beanie! Also, it’s very apparent Toni Topaz is developing feelings for him (which I don’t understand). Bughead drama is on the horizon, tweens.

Wait! The Black Hood calls Betty again! With Archie in the room! He says Alice is a “thorn” they need to get rid of, which is ominous AF. The Black Hood then sends Betty an email and tells her to publish it to prove her “loyalty” to him. If she does this, he’ll answer one question that she has—and she can ask anything, except his name.

But this task is a little tricky, seeing as how what he wants Betty to publish is insane: It’s an old newspaper cover featuring teenage Alice on the cover with the headline, “South Side Teen Arrested and Released on Bail.” Yes, friends, this means Alice Cooper used to be a South Sider—which totally explains her blind hatred for it. Betty doesn’t think they should publish the mugshot, but Rogue Psycho Archie does. Of course.

The St. Clairs blow into Riverdale looking like the most stereotypical rich people alive. Veronica and Nick have some mild flirtation, but, like Archie’s way hotter so I’m not concerned.

But maybe I should be: After Nick and Archie have dinner at the Lodge’s, Nick offers them cocaine, which they turn down. Nick compares the Riverdale teens to “country mice” and essentially sticks his nose up at their entire existence. Nick does like the Pussycats, though, and he invites them (and Veronica) to a party he’s hosting. Cheryl invites herself because she’s iconic.

"Chapter Eighteen: When A Stranger Calls"

PHOTO: The CW

A quick detour: Sheriff Keller (a.k.a the salt-and-pepper snack) says the handwriting from the letter the Black Hood sent Betty and the one he sent Alice aren’t a match. This fuels Alice’s hatred for the South Side and her belief that Jughead is the one behind Betty’s letter. However, this is just a ruse: The Black Hood is so obviously behind both. Anyway, Alice’s resentment toward Jughead bites her in the bum: It gives Betty the motivation to publish the mugshot of her the Black Hood sent.

And in return, as promised, Betty gets to ask the Black Hood one question: Would she recognize his face? He says, “yes,” and then he creepily goes on a rant about how he wants Betty all to himself. He wants her to cut everyone else out of her life…or he will. And the first victim is Veronica, or as he calls her, “the daughter of an embezzler.” Rude!

This drama is put on hold so Bughead can make out and lie to each other about their problems. Betty also lies to Archie about the Black Hood calling her again, and she pretends everything is OK between her and Veronica at Nick’s party later that night.

Which is nuts, by the way, because Nick brings Jingle Jangle, that crazy drug that looks like Pixy Stix. And they all do it! Well, except Betty. Fearful of the Black Hood’s wrath, she intentionally starts a fight with Veronica, branding her a fake and a crook, just like her father. She then leaves the party, abruptly, and Veronica’s visibly upset.

Cut back to Jughead: Toni Topaz warns him that the final test to become a Serpent, the Gauntlet, is intense as hell and he needs to prepare himself to lose his North Side friends and Betty. Jughead’s not fazed, but he should be. Your laptop can’t get you out of this, bud!

Oh my God, Nick is garbage: He says Veronica was “teasing” him all night at the party and attempts to make out with her. She literally has to force him off. He gets angry at this and tells Veronica he has the power to “implode” Hiram’s SoDale deal. This is 100 percent an attempt to coerce Veronica into sleeping with him, but she doesn’t fall for it: She slaps him in the face and walks away.

God, the Black Hood’s demands just don’t stop: Now, he wants Betty to cut out Jughead…and she asks Archie to do it for her. He goes to Jughead’s trailer to deliver the news minutes before the Serpents show up. They all clash. Archie’s pissed Jughead’s joining the gang. Jughead’s pissed at Archie for being Betty’s messenger. It’s all a mess, and it ends with Jughead jumping head first into his final Serpent challenge. (Which is essentially just the Serpents beating the shit out of him.)

"Chapter Eighteen: When A Stranger Calls"

PHOTO: The CW

Goddess Alice certainly isn’t letting that mugshot bring her down: She shows up to the SoDale open house with a snake around her neck, just like New Taylor Swift, and tells her husband (Hal) to “shove it.” Meanwhile, Nick thinks a simple, “I’m sorry” rectifies sexually assaulting Veronica. He says he’s been in and out of rehab. Veronica doesn’t want to play nice, but she knows her parents are counting on her—so she appeases him.

And, yup, Nick is a monster: Cheryl shows up to the SoDale benefit, and he slips some type of pill in her drink. He attempts to sexually assault her, but Veronica and Josie and the Pussycats intervene before he does anything. And then they beat the shit out of him. It’s glorious.

Betty gets yet another call from the Black Hood after she dumps Jughead. He says his identity is hidden in some abandoned farmhouse, so of course she runs there to find it.

There’s a present in the middle of the house, and the Black Hood tells Betty to open it. Inside there’s—wait for it—a black hood, and he instructs her to put it on and look in the mirror. That’s the answer: He says they’re the same person. So…does this mean the Black Hood is a Cooper? Hal? Betty’s brother? Dark Betty?!? WTF!?

Oh, and WTF, part two: Toni takes Jughead and Betty’s “breakup” as an opportunity to kiss him. Does this mean they’re a couple now?! His beanie is still warm, girl!

Holy crap. It’s not over yet. The Black Hood calls Betty one last time and says he knows she’s been telling Archie about their chats—and now Polly’s going to pay for it. However, he says he won’t kill Polly if Betty tells him another person to kill. She hesitates and finally gives him a name: Nick St. Clair.

Parting thoughts: This show is woefully underusing Cheryl Blossom.



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'Riverdale' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: The Black Hood Makes an Unexpected Move


Tonight’s Riverdale episode can be described in three words: Calm. Down. Archie. Seriously, homeboy—as Bella Hadid would call him—is pressed. Here’s why (spoilers ahead)…

To start, everyone in Riverdale is freaking out about the Black Hood. Jughead checks out a zillion books about serial killers; Archie’s shooting bullets into trees; and Queen Cheryl Blossom doesn’t travel anywhere without the River Vixens. It’s tense, but also beautiful because everyone in this town is beautiful. Even when they’re shook.

Hermione’s upset about the threatening video Archie and his “Red Circle” made and wants Veronica to dump him because of it. Hiram pretends to side with Hermione even though he’s the one who convinced Archie to make the video in the first place. What’s his angle here? This is only going to make Veronica hate him more—and that’s a feat, seeing as how he was in jail for insider trading (or one of those other rich-dude crimes). Once Veronica leaves the room, he starts cackling like a Disney villain about all the “chaos” happening in Riverdale.

Meanwhile, Alice Cooper rips Betty a new one for helping Polly run away. She starts crying about how she’s scared for her daughters’ safety, and it’s actually pretty moving. Alice is low-key the best character on this show; Betty’s the worst for treating her the way she does. (Betty’s also just kind of the worst in general.)

There’s definitely a common thread happening, because Fred Andrews is also pissed about Archie’s video. Archie says he took the video down but people keep sharing it, which is why it’s still going viral.

Cut to Jughead moping around South Side High. The Serpents are laughing at the Red Circle’s video and decide they should attack Archie. Jughead deters them, though, and says they should go after the Black Hood. But the Serpents don’t take the bait: They actually like the Black Hood because he’s targeting North Siders.

Speaking of the North Side, Veronica flips out when she realizes Hiram was the one who gave Archie the idea for the Red Circle. She confronts Hiram about this and he plays dumb. Again.

The principal kicks Archie off the football team because of the Red Circle and says he’s suspended until he disbands it; Archie’s response is essentially, “LOL, whatevs” because he’s a petulant child who wants to play Scooby Doo.

But then, whoa, whoa, whoa: Betty receives a creepy letter from the Black Hood that says he’s killing everyone for her. Apparently, her speech at the jubilee from last season is his inspiration. He also gives her a cipher detailing where he’ll strike next. On the one hand, this is shocking; on the other, it’s not. The dominant theory for weeks has been that the Black Hood is tied and/or related to Betty.

Stupidly, she decides not to tell her mom or the police about this letter (but she does tell them about the cipher). Kids on teen shows never go to the police!

Also stupid are these Red Circle jocks who think playing football is more important than catching a serial killer. They want Archie to give into the principal’s demands, but he refuses and instead suggests they “make their presence known” on the South Side (where the Black Hood presumably lives). The guys say no and quit the Red Circle, which is probably the right move. Why would you ever follow clueless Archie?

Ugh, and now we’re back to Jughead: He ignores a call from Betty to hep Toni Topaz and her pink hair solve the Black Hood’s cipher. Betty’s low-key pissed when she finds out about this and suggests she and Kevin join them for a “code-breaking party.” LOL, these teens are so lame.

Naturally, Toni’s shady as hell to Betty at this “party.” She says Betty should “loosen her ponytail” in order to open her mind, and Kevin snaps back with perhaps my favorite line in Riverdale history: “Betty’s ponytail is iconic and beyond reproach.” I want a spinoff starring Cheryl and Kevin.

Yikes, Betty and Toni get in a nasty spat about “North Side privilege.” Toni accuses Betty of hating the Serpents and thinking the Black Hood is one; she denies this, but then is visibly upset when Toni tells her Jughead’s been secretly eating lunch with the Serpents for weeks. He tries to explain it, but Betty just brushes him aside and keeps deciphering the code. Bughead is on thin ice!

PHOTO: The CW

Veronica’s pissed, too, at her dad for playing “mind games” with Archie—so she decides to help him expand the Red Circle. Archie uses a fake ID to buy a huge gun. Is he seriously going to…attack this masked serial killer himself?

Update: Veronica essentially convinces every student at Riverdale High to join the Red Circle. She even buys them all T-shirts! Archie’s in shock, but hopefully this means he’ll throw away his damn gun.

Later that night, rich, white, spoiled Archie travels to the South Side of town and starts spray-painting red circles on old buildings. The Serpents who wanted to attack Archie confront him about this, but he just puffs out his chest and tells them to go away. One of the Serpents points a knife at Archie, and he retaliates by sticking a gun in their faces. He’s truly off the rails.

And the hits just keep on coming: Sheriff Keller and the Riverdale High principal search Archie’s locker for a gun and find a black hood in it. Apparently, it’s Reggie’s, from the night he tried to scare Archie. Fred is, understandably, upset by this, and Hermione uses this as more fuel for her “Veronica, dump Archie” campaign.

Jughead finds the letter the Black Hood wrote and confronts Betty about it. She’s still reeling from the fact the Black Hood said her speech at the jubilee inspired his killings, which is why she’s kept mum. She’s also afraid Archie will blame her for Fred’s shooting, which would be insane but plausible given how ridiculous Archie is this season.

Remember that gun Sheriff Keller searched Archie’s locker for? It turns out Archie was hiding it in a toilet in one of the boys’ bathrooms. He makes Veronica go get it for him, which is, honestly, grounds for a breakup. Archie is a paranoid mess this season who makes his girlfriend stick her hands in a toilet! His abs aren’t worth this torture.

Archie says he literally wants to kill the Black Hood, which is not at all surprising but still psychotic. Veronica, clearly sensing Archie coming unhinged, threw his gun into Sweetwater River minutes before learning this.

Archie didn’t tell the principal the black hood found in his locker was Reggie’s; because of this, the dumb Red Circle jocks reassemble and pledge allegiance to the cause. And this couldn’t have happened at a better time: Immediately after, the South Side Serpents come to Archie’s house looking to throw down. (I get why they’re pissed, too. Archie waved a gun in their faces!)

They actually decide to have an organized fight with no weapons. In the soaking rain. Toxic masculinity, my friends. When things got too violent—one of the Riverdale guys was stabbed in the knee—Veronica interferes by shooting a gun in the air. Archie’s gun. Looks like she didn’t toss that thing in Sweetwater River, after all.

"Chapter Seventeen: The Town that Dreaded Sundown"

PHOTO: The CW

As this is happening, Jughead and Betty think they’ve cracked the Black Hood’s cipher. He’s using codes from a Nancy Drew book Betty loved as a kid to spell out, “I will strike next where it all began.” He’s obviously talking about where Betty’s jubilee speech took place: the town hall.

The same town hall that all the Riverdale adults are at right now debating—you guessed it—the Black Hood. Alice and Fred are quarreling about the source of the town’s issue. (Alice thinks it’s the South Side; he thinks it’s the Black Hood.) Hiram and Hermione say some sketchy shit about how they “knew” Fred was going to be a “problem,” which makes me think they have something to do with the Black Hood. The Lodges are sociopaths!

Jughead and Betty storm in and tell everyone to leave because the Black Hood is striking there next. Betty eventually comes clean to her parents about the letter the Black Hood wrote to her.

Veronica goes from mending Archie’s “fight wounds ” (LOL) to jumping his bones in point-five seconds. Ultimately, they decide to chuck the gun into Sweetwater River, but this buildup makes it obvious we haven’t seen the last of it.

OH MY GOD: We end things with Betty receiving a call from the Black Hood…but the episode cuts out before we hear anything more than “hello.” Bahhh! Prediction: The call is coming from inside the house! (Read: It’s her dad.)

Parting thoughts: This is some Pretty Little Liars shit.



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If 'Riverdale' Fans Are Right About This Character Being the Black Hood, I'm Done


This week’s Riverdale episode offered more insight into the person responsible for Fred’s shooting, Miss Grundy’s death, and the attack on Midge and Moose. He’s a morality killer who goes by the name “Black Hood,” and his mission is to punish Riverdale for its hypocrisy. He thinks the town preaches one thing, but does another—which is why he targeted Fred, whom he called an “adulterer”; Miss Grundy, a “child predator”; and Midge and Moose, two “drug and sex-addicted teenagers.”

Black Hood’s identity is still unknown. Some fans think it’s Betty’s father, Hal Cooper, who’s been mysteriously absent this season. Others think he was hired by Archie’s mother, Mary Andrews, because she was jealous of Archie’s relationship with Fred. Honestly, anyone is a suspect at this point—and your guess is as good as mine.

But one theory is bubbling up on social media right now that’s truly shocking. A band of Riverdale fans are convinced the Black Hood is actually Betty’s long lost brother, whom we learned about in season one. If you forget, Betty’s mother, Alice Cooper, revealed she gave up her first child, a boy, in high school. No one knows what became of him—or even who his father is—so it’s not far-fetched to think he’s skulking around Riverdale.

It’s possible this brother is resentful of the Cooper family for “abandoning” him as a child, and he’s getting revenge by destroying their town. That’s what one Twitter user named @emiwaltt posits, at least. “What if the Black Hood is Betty’s brother and he is killing off Riverdale because he is angry at the Coopers,” they write. “He is clearly targeting people who are close to the people [Betty] knows.” See this tweet, below:

And several people agree. Here are just a few of the people we found on Twitter who support this theory.

This would be quite the twist if it’s true. We don’t know who Betty’s brother is, so learning his identity is exciting in itself. And if he’s the Black Hood on top of that, I’m done. Of course, the only way to figure this out for sure is to keep watching—so settle back in. We have a long way to go.

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'Riverdale' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Veronica's Dad Gets Even Creepier


Oh, Riverdale, you really messed with my emotions tonight. I’m moved, shook, and turned on all at once. Spoilers ahead, obviously.

We start with Kevin sucking face with a random dude in the woods. He stumbles across Midge, who somehow survived being shot at point-blank range. Teen show logic, I guess? (Moose is alive, too. Whatever.)

Meanwhile, Veronica’s having the squad over to watch The Bachelorette premiere. Hiram seems pissed about this, probably because this means he can’t skulk around creepily like he always does.

At Riverdale High, news of Midge and Moose’s shooting has everyone freaked, especially Archie. Kevin lies about why he was in the woods that night even though everyone knows he’s gay…so there’s some fuckery afoot there. Jughead, who hangs out at Betty’s school but doesn’t go there anymore, abruptly leaves the powwow because he’s late to meet his mentor at South Side High. I’m not even going to question how he’d get there so quickly if the South Side is as far away as this show makes it seem. Also, why isn’t his old school just letting him trespass? He doesn’t even go here!

Alright, what the hell? Kevin was literally cruising the woods for dudes. What is this, 1970? Betty reprimands him for this, but in a slut-shamey way I don’t appreciate. She tells Kevin not to go back there until the killer’s caught—sound advice he surely won’t follow ’cause hormones. Cheryl overhears this entire conversation and smirks diabolically. Does she…also want to cruise for gay men in the woods?

Archie and Reggie visit Moose in the hospital. Reggie makes some lame, hetero joke about Moose “popping a boner” in front of his nurses (I keep forgetting they’re teens), and Archie asks him about the shooter like he’s Olivia Benson. Everyone’s slowly starting to realize the same person is responsible for Fred’s shooting, Miss Grundy’s death, and Moose and Midge’s shooting.

Meanwhile, at South Side High, Jughead’s mad about having to walk through a metal detector. He pouts, and it’s annoying. Safety’s important, Jughead! He meets Toni Topaz, the girl all the blogs say will drive a wedge between Bughead. I can see why: She’s cool, has pink hair, and is a South Side Serpent. She gives Jughead a tour of the school, where kids are doing Jingle Jangle in plain sight.

Toni invites Jughead to sit with her and the other Serpents, but he declines and says some convoluted nonsense about how he “self-identifies as a loner.” Toni urges Jughead to sit with them, though, because the Ghoulies (a rival gang at the school) will mess with him if he doesn’t. I love how all these groups sound like plucky ’50s social clubs.

Back on the north side of town, Archie tries to convince his dad that his shooter also attacked Grundy, Midge, and Moose, but Fred dismisses his childish ramblings. Naturally, Archie ruins Veronica’s Bachelorette viewing party because of this. Hiram awkwardly meets the Core Four and tells them the police aren’t always the solution to ending crime, which puffs Archie’s paranoia up even more. Oy.

In the most bravura display of straight masculinity on this show, Archie rounds up the football players and suggests they serve as “watch dogs” at school to make sure the shooter doesn’t attack again. They all hoop and holler about this and call themselves “The Red Circle”; it’s cringey, but also kinda hot because they’re shirtless. Sheriff Keller isn’t pleased with their group, but they’re actually helpful; later in the episode, they rescue Ethel Muggs when she suspects the shooter was following her in a car.

At South Side High, Jughead finally finds a friend in his insanely sexy English teacher, Mr. Phillips. He asks Mr. Phillips if it’s possible to revive the school paper, which I’d usually be all for but not in this case. No one needs any more angsty Jughead journalism. The Serpents are trying so hard to hang out with Jughead, but he’s dragging his feet. Rightfully, they tell him to not come crying to them for help if he can’t even hang. They have a tense tête-à-tête, which Toni diffuses.

PHOTO: The CW

Later, Betty visits Jughead at South Side High, and he says she shouldn’t be there at night unless she’s “armed,” which is a little unnerving. Jughead realizes Clifford Blossom’s local drug business started at the school with the Ghoulies, who deal Jingle Jangle, and he wants to write an exposé about this. Betty, however, deters him from this plan because he goes to school with the Ghoulies. (Jughead should listen to this, but he won’t because his beanie causes him to rebuke all logic.) Then Betty meets Toni, and it’s awkward. Oooh, the love triangle begins!

Later, Betty gets on Kevin’s case about going into the woods to bang. He says he doesn’t need her approval, which is true. (In Betty’s defense, though, she’s only concerned about Kevin running into the serial killer on the loose.) Cheryl overhears this entire spat and tells Betty that Kevin’s only trolling for dudes in the woods for validation. What a queer icon.

Meanwhile, Alice Cooper receives an ominous package in the mail. It’s from someone who calls himself the “Black Hood,” and he asks the Coopers to publish a letter he wrote in the paper. Not-so-surprising twist: This is the masked shooter, and he wants everyone to know he’s responsible for all three attacks in Riverdale. He included Fred’s lost wallet in the package as proof he’s the real deal. Bah!

And oooh, this is interesting: In his letter, the Black Hood calls Fred “an adulterer,” Grundy a “child predator,” and Moose and Midge “drunk-and-sex-addicted teenagers.” He’s some kind of morality killer punishing Riverdale for its hypocrisy. Polly’s afraid she’s next because she’s having a child out of wedlock with her cousin. I mean, I’m not judging her for that, but this deranged guy probably will. She leaves Riverdale because of this.

At the hospital, Kevin and Moose share a really tender moment. Kevin confesses that he’s aware cruising in the woods is dangerous, but he can’t stop—he doesn’t care. Moose understands this, saying Riverdale is hard for “guys like them” (read: queer) and finding bliss for just two minutes in the woods is a coping mechanism. Ugh, why aren’t they dating? They’d be the hottest couple on this show!

After his visit to the hospital, Cheryl spots Kevin running into the woods again and tells Betty about it. They ambush Kevin, and Betty tells him he should have more self-respect—which is the wrong thing to say. He gives a genuinely moving speech about how he doesn’t have the same options as Betty in Riverdale. This is the only way he can find intimacy, and she needs to stop judging him for it. All true things. Yeesh, this subplot is taking me back to high school.

Hiram invites Archie to dinner, which, for some reason, Hermione thinks is a bad idea. I’m starting to think she’s the sketchiest one out of this whole family. It’s clear Hermione still thinks Hiram is dangerous, but she won’t admit it—and until she does, Veronica says she doesn’t have the right to ban Archie from family dinners. Hiram overhears Hermione and Veronica arguing about this and straight-up threatens Hermione to stop poisoning his relationship with Veronica. It’s scary. He’s scary. He’s definitely the sketchiest of this twisted Brady Bunch.

Chapter Sixteen: The Watcher in the Woods

PHOTO: The CW

Hiram and Archie have a super-tense chat in Hiram’s mysterious office; he gives some ominous warning about how Archie shouldn’t sneak into Veronica’s room anymore. He then gives some whack-a-doo advice about how Archie’s Red Circle should use fear and violence to defeat the Black Hood. If this means more bloodshed, I’m done.

And, yup, Jughead should’ve listened to Betty: The Ghoulies jump him, probably because they’re onto his snooping. He lies to Betty about it, and Toni tells him this should give him more incentive to join the Serpents. He probably won’t because he’s dumb.

Oh no. Oh God. Kevin goes back into the woods, and a strange dude asks him if he needs a ride. He has a vision about this guy being Black Hood and rejects his invite; the dude then gets aggressive, but Kevin runs off before anything happens. My nerves! At home, Kevin’s dad (the sheriff) confronts him about his cruising and says he cares about his safety. It’s a truly endearing moment with distinct shades of Kurt and Burt Hummel on Glee.

We end things with Veronica asking to have a more active role in Lodge Industries. (This is just so she can see what Hiram’s doing in his eerie office space, TBH.) Jughead, clearly shook from the Ghoulies beatdown, decides to eat lunch with the Serpents. Kevin’s still pissed at Betty. And Archie’s Red Circle films a mildly intimidating—but mostly just sexually arousing—video threatening Black Hood. Hiram’s thrilled. I care about this subplot the least, yet it’s the most prominent one.

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