Amber Rose loves a good celebration, but she’s ready to get down to business. On the eve of her third annual Amber Rose SlutWalk in downtown Los Angeles, she says she’s “hyped up more than ever” to spread her message to more than 20,000 men and women that victim-shaming must stop now.
“I’m a former slut-shamer and I had to take the steps to change,” she admits to Glamour. Going through a divorce (with ex-husband and rapper Wiz Khalifa) made her realize that the blame was unfairly being put on her from outside sources, and she was done feeling like a victim. “I didn’t even ask for fame,” she confides of those earlier years in the spotlight. “I didn’t even want this life and how I got it, and I’m just trying to figure out what to do with it.” That led to the start of the Amber Rose SlutWalk, and now, the first annual OPENed Women’s Conference, also happening this weekend.
“If you’re going through extreme slut-shaming, or if you’re a rape survivor, or have been sexually assaulted, the SlutWalk is a safe place to tell your story and talk to other people who have been through the same thing,” she says. “You don’t want to feel alone. We have counselors, HIV/AIDS testing, and workshops. We want you to feel that everything is going to be OK.”
But the road to feeling “OK” wasn’t an easy one, especially over the last year when the man that bragged he used to “grab [women] by the pussy” was elected to the highest office in the land. So what has Rose been motivated to do about it? And what is she teaching her four-year-old son as he grows up? Here, she shares the highs and lows of her journey to being a more informed feminist.
PHOTO: Paul Archuleta/Getty Images
Glamour: How have you changed since you began the Amber Rose weekend and started your own SlutWalk?
Amber Rose: I constantly learn new things. I wouldn’t say that I’m a seasoned feminist. I became a feminist probably after my divorce which was a little over three years ago. I completely changed my life. I’m a former slut-shamer. Society has taught me to be a certain way, and I had to take steps to change that. And so even with the women’s conference, I’m going to be there all day, getting educated as well. I don’t feel like I have all the answers. I feel like I grow every year and learn new things.
Glamour: Earlier this week, Robert Redford was on Megyn Kelly Today, and said that he wasn’t a feminist, but he loves seeing a female drive the story in film. It made no sense. How can you be vocal about wanting to see women get equal opportunities, but then actually say you’re not a feminist?
Amber: Because that’s just what guys say, like ‘boys will be boys.’ It’s all bullshit. It’s not out of the norm. But the really f-cked up part about it is a lot of straight guys think that being a male feminist is like you’re gay. It’s just so stupid. It’s really, really stupid. That’s why we need to continue to educate. And especially the guys—our sons, our dads, our uncles—and people that have been on earth a long time that have been taught by society that that’s all they know.
Glamour: When someone asks you what feminism means to you, how do you respond?
Amber: I just say equality. It’s really very simple. I just want equality. That’s it.
Glamour: How have you changed since Donald Trump was elected?
Amber: The thing with Trump is that guys have always said things like that. For me, it’s not really like, ‘Oh wow, he said that?’ I mean, guys say that all the time. So now, what steps are we going to take to say that’s not OK? It’s not ‘boys will be boys’ or ‘locker room talk.’ There’s so many powerful men out there that sexually assault women every day, and the woman feels like she doesn’t have a voice. So you sit there with guilt and shame your entire life and men know that. They know that the women are not going to say anything because no one would ever believe them. SlutWalk is giving women a voice and an opportunity to come and tell your story.
Glamour: SlutWalk is extremely timely this year because our education secretary, Betsy DeVos, just killed Obama’s campus sexual assault guidelines, which makes it so much harder for victims to get the justice they are looking for. For those that don’t understand how detrimental this will be for sexual assault victims, how do you get people to change their way of thinking?
Amber: I’ll tell you, when I go speak at colleges, a lot of boys will show up in addition to girls, and usually after they’re like, ‘You know I came here because you’re f-cking Amber Rose and you’re hot, and I wanted to see you,’ but then they’re enlightened. I’m not really a cookie cutter type of girl. I’m going to tell you how it is. I’m going to make you feel uncomfortable, and people like to think I’m controversial, but I’m just being me. I literally tell them, ‘Think of the act that it took your mother to have you, because when she was turned on and she was horny and she was begging for your dad, she was a sexual being. Your mother is a sexual being. Your mother has had sex, and guess what? If you have brothers and sisters from your mom with different fathers, then your mom is a slut by society’s standards. By society’s standards, your mom is a ho.’ And they’re like, ‘Oh my God, I have three brothers from different dads,’ and society would say that there mom is a ho. But they don’t ever think of their mother’s when they use these derogatory labels towards other women or other girls. I always say, ‘Everyone is someone’s daughter. Everyone is someone’s sister. Or mother.’ We don’t want to judge our own family members because we love them so much, so let’s try to apply that to people in our everyday life. And they’re like, ‘Oh wow.’
Glamour: You have a four-year-old son. What do you teach him about supporting feminism and equal rights?
Amber: I mean, he’s grown up in a house with me, so it’s not going to be a sit down, serious conversation. It’s going to be years of growing up with a feminist mother. He’s going to know. This isn’t just SlutWalk time, this is my everyday life. This is my passion, this is my calling. I try to find the means to help women find lawyers, and give them a voice and an opportunity to get justice. Those are the behind-the-scenes things that I do and don’t put on social media. I don’t want a pat on the back for it, but it’s just what I do.
PHOTO: Amanda Edwards/Getty Images
Glamour: You said earlier that your divorce prompted you to change your way of thinking, but what prompted you to take action?
Amber: I would say that I was being extremely slut-shamed, for literally getting divorced. I was getting slut-shamed for going through a divorce, like it was my fault, it had to be me, [because] I’m the one that’s an ex-stripper so it must have been something that I did or didn’t do right in my marriage. I got the blame for everything and it was one of the worst times of my life. I saw this picture of a girl online with pasties on that said, ‘Still not asking for it.’ I was like, ‘Man, I’m not even asking for this shit.’ I didn’t even ask for fame. I didn’t even want this life and how I got it, and I’m just trying to figure out what to do with it. As I did more research, I found out what a SlutWalk is, and what it was about. I called my team and was like, ‘I’m going to have a SlutWalk this year and I don’t care what you guys say, I’m going to do it.’ And I just started it, and the process of raising money and getting my friends to support the cause. [But I] couldn’t get any interviews, no companies would work with me, everyone thought I was crazy, and yet I stuck to it. People said change the name [of SlutWalk] and you’ll be more successful, and I said, ‘No, I’m not. I’m not changing the name. They’re going to jump on board because I’m going to make it huge.’ The first year we had 2,500 people come, and the second year we had 11,000 people come, and this year already we have sold over 18,000 tickets on our website alone, not including who is just going to show up that is in downtown L.A. I worked really hard and believed in it.
Glamour: Lastly, what do you hope to have a better understanding of following this weekend? What do you want to be more educated about?
Amber: One thing that I want to be more educated on is knowing my full rights as far as the legal side of everything. I’m not a lawyer, so I’m really interested to sit with Lisa Bloom and her workshop to really know the ins and outs of the law for women. I’m really interested to find out.
The OPENed: The Women’s Conference by the Amber Rose Power Foundation is this weekend in Los Angeles. For more information, click here.
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