Once upon a time last week, actor Matt Damon made a couple of remarks about the Weinstein scandal—and the other once-powerful men who also have fallen due to sexual misconduct allegations in Weinstein’s wake. What he said in that interview with ABC News didn’t go over well: The Internet dragged him for tone-deaf comments about Hollywood’s casting couch problem and attempting to draw lines between various degrees of misconduct, seemingly in a way that suggested one should be considered more excusable than others. (Hint: None of them are excusable.) Luckily, Alyssa Milano was on hand on Twitter to give him a lesson in what exactly rape culture is and why his comments were off the mark.
He started off OK: “I think we’re in this watershed moment. I think it’s great. I think it’s wonderful that women are feeling empowered to tell their stories, and it’s totally necessary …”
Three sentences after he opened his mouth, though, it all went careening downhill: “I do believe that there’s a spectrum of behavior, right? And we’re going to have to figure—you know, there’s a difference between, you know, patting someone on the butt and rape or child molestation, right? Both of those behaviors need to be confronted and eradicated without question, but they shouldn’t be conflated, right? You know, we see somebody like Al Franken, right? I personally would have preferred if they had an Ethics Committee investigation, you know what I mean? It’s like at what point—you know, we’re so energized to kind of get retribution, I think.”
Well, yes. After living under patriarchal oppression for the better part of the last forever and having our bodies continually treated as commodities, there is a certain energy about finally being able to speak up about it—and actually be heard.
“And we live in this culture of outrage and injury, and, you know, that we’re going to have to correct enough to kind of go, ‘Wait a minute. None of us came here perfect,'” Damon continued. “You know what I mean? … The Louis C.K. thing, I don’t know all the details. I don’t do deep dives on this, but I did see his statement, which kind of, which [was] arresting to me. When he came out and said, ‘I did this. I did these things. These women are all telling the truth.’ And I just remember thinking, ‘Well, that’s the sign of somebody who — well, we can work with that’ … Like, when I’m raising my kids, this constant personal responsibility is as important as anything else they learn before they go off in the world.
And the fear for me is that right now, we’re in this moment where at the moment — and I hope it doesn’t stay this way — the clearer signal to men and to younger people is, deny it. Because if you take responsibility for what you did, your life’s going to get ruined.”
Later, by the way, Damon goes on to give a hypothetical example of what would happen if someone falsely (he makes sure to specify this) accused him of sexual harassment. His plans? Lawyer up, and get a settlement on the table.
“I mean, look, as I said, all of that behavior needs to be confronted, but there is a continuum,” Damon continues. “And on this end of the continuum where you have rape and child molestation or whatever, you know, that’s prison. Right? And that’s what needs to happen. OK? And then we can talk about rehabilitation and everything else. That’s criminal behavior, and it needs to be dealt with that way. The other stuff is just kind of shameful and gross.”
What Damon leaves out, obviously, is the “shameful and gross” things he’s referring to have the demonstrated potential to destroy women’s careers. Women don’t escape unscathed from the actions of these men, whether they are attacked or manage to fend off the harassment and assault. Damon putting them on a scale completely negates and ignores the damaging, lasting, and real fallout women experience.
Milano, who has been vocal in the #MeToo movement, called him out in a series of tweets that explained how rape culture works. It was an act of emotional and mental labor that was undoubtedly draining but definitely necessary.
“Dear Matt Damon,” she wrote. “It’s the micro that makes the macro. We are in a ‘culture of outrage’ because the magnitude of rage is, in fact, overtly outrageous. And it is righteous. I have been a victim of each component of the sexual assault spectrum of which you speak. They all hurt. And they are all connected to a patriarchy intertwined with normalized, accepted–even welcomed– misogyny.
We are not outraged because someone grabbed our asses in a picture. We are outraged because we were made to feel this was normal. We are outraged because we have been gaslighted. We are outraged because we were silenced for so long.
There are different stages of cancer. Some more treatable than others. But it’s still cancer. Sexual harassment, misconduct, assault and violence is a systemic disease. The tumor is being cut out right now with no anesthesia. Please send flowers. #MeToo”
Of course, it would be really nice if it were a woman—such as say, Milano—doing the highly visible interview with ABC News as a leader in the #MeToo movement, rather than another male Hollywood figure. Instead, Milano, a victim of sexual misconduct herself, had to do mental and emotional labor to correct Damon’s problematic thoughts. Exhausting.
Related Stories:
–MeToo: Thousands of Women Share Stories of Sexual Harassment and Assault on Twitter
–Post-Weinstein, These Are the Powerful Men Facing Sexual Harassment Allegations
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