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A Bride Got Dragged for Wanting to Replace Her Maid of Honor Because of Baby Weight


There have been plenty of stories about controlling brides this year—tales relayed back to forums by wedding party members and wedding guests who need a place to vent (and gather some support, or answers). Some highlights? The bride who kicked a guest of her wedding…for wearing a patterned dress she thought was too white. Or, there was the bride who fired her bridesmaid over email. Granted, weddings can be a super-stressful time, especially if the bride-to-be is carrying an outsized share of planning it, but civility is still alive in 2019! Still, we don’t usually hear from the brides themselves—that is, until one bride reportedly posted in a mom’s forum (the post is now deleted) and, according to Fox News, asked if she could fire her maid of honor because of her baby weight.

“So my friend who is my maid of honor in my wedding recently gave birth and she hasn’t lost the baby weight,” the anonymous bride started her post, according to Fox News. Apparently it had been three weeks since her friend had the baby, and “she still looks pregnant.”

It was another three weeks until the bride’s wedding, she reportedly wrote, but she wasn’t “confident” her maid of honor would lose the weight by then.

“She may not even fit her dress. I refuse to have it altered again,” she continued. “It was already altered multiple times for her and she said she’d fit into it.” The bride then asks forum users if it would be “wrong” to find another maid of honor, adding she had “someone in mind” already.

“She said she has a back up dress and I’m saying hell no to that,” the bride finished. “I’m not fat shaming but come on. My wedding is only one day and I’m not having it ruined by her or her baby weight.”

Naturally, people had a lot of thoughts about the bride’s ask.

“Does she not realize what the body goes through in order to hold another human? It takes much longer than 3 weeks…” one pointed out, according to Fox.

“This bride is an idiot. You don’t just drop postpartum weight within a few weeks of giving birth. Sometimes it takes months,” another reportedly wrote.

“What kind of shallow person is this? If your friend is a good enough friend to be your [maid of honor], then YOU ought to be a good enough friend to care more about them than how they look in a picture,” another commenter said, per Fox.

It does take months to lose the weight from pregnancy—extra pounds are part of what’s involved in creating and delivering a new life. Although it sometimes seems like celebrities are shedding points in a matter of weeks, everyone’s bodies are different, and the level of access they have to trainers, nutritionists, and doctors is quite a bit more than most of us mortals enjoy. In the meantime, a general reminder: Body-shaming new moms (or anyone else, for that matter) is never a good wedding-day look.



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Meghan Markle Wrote About Wanting to Be a Princess in 2014


Meghan Markle‘s actress-to-royal glow up is a fairytale that has enchanted pretty much the entire world. But apparently, being a princess isn’t something that came totally out of left field for her—she had actually thought about it in the past (like, well, many of us). In 2014, she wrote a blog entry for her now-defunct lifestyle website The Tig that revealed how she’d thought about being a princess as a kid—and she even mentioned Kate Middleton’s royal wedding to Prince William.

In the entry, Markle interviews Princess Alia Al-Senussi—a descendant of Libyan royalty and patron of the arts—for one of her Tig Talks, which used to be a regular feature on her website (The Tig was shut down once she and Prince Harry got serious). She kicked off the post with a little reflection about how so many little girls let their imaginations run wild when it comes to princesses.

“Little girls dream of being princesses. I, for one, was all about She-Ra, Princess of Power,” she wrote. “And grown women seem to retain this childhood fantasy. Just look at the pomp and circumstance surrounding the royal wedding and endless conversation about Princess Kate.”

Crazy, right? If only we could travel back in time and tell Markle that just four years later, she’d be at the center of a royal wedding pomp and circumstance by marrying Prince Harry herself—and that Princess Kate would be her sister-in-law!

Royal daydreaming aside, the main point of Markle’s entry was to empower women and celebrate the achievements of Al-Senussi, not gush over castles and crowns. Markle goes on to share more about Al-Senussi’s work, writing that when she first met the royal, she had “a bit of a ‘pinch-myself-I’m-emailing-with-a-princess’ moment. (The Al-Senussi family was exiled from Libya when Gaddhafi seized the throne in a coup d’état.)

The whole thing is absolutely magical, since Markle is now living the princess life and doing things like hanging with the Queen and touring the world with Prince Harry. She’s also talked about her commitment to continuing her incredible women’s empowerment work, which we think makes her the badass She-Ra-type of princess she once imagined as a kid.

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Wanting to Have Sex With Ghosts Is a Real Thing


For as long as humans have walked the earth, we’ve asked certain questions: Is there life after death? Do the departed spirits of the deceased walk among us? Can we have sex with ghosts? Though the 1990 film Ghost came close to answering at least one of those, I’m going to be honest: My sexual awakening came as the result of that hot ghost boy in Hocus Pocus who, despite spending the majority of the movie as a talking cat, was so attractive in that knockoff Leonardo DiCaprio way that I am shook to this day. (I’m not alone in this, by the way.)

The nineties were an amazing time for burgeoning spectrophilia—that’s, of course, the fetish by which one is sexually attracted to ghosts. We had the aforementioned Hocus Pocus and Ghost, Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense, even Alec Baldwin in Beetlejuice. (OK, technically that was 1988, but Baldwin is kind of slept-on in the hot ghost canon.) Though ghosting means something different now, back then it implied wearing a wedding dress and closed-mouth kissing Devon Sawa like so:

But is ghost sex really common enough to deserve its own fetish? After all, ghosts are probably not real. (Don’t you think if Ghost Hunters had actually discovered proof of spectral activity it would’ve been bigger news?) However, because it’s nearly Halloween and we can’t possibly answer for every unexplained haunting that’s ever happened, it’s worth exploring just how we as a species have interacted with paranormal phenomena. Not to mention, if a thing exists—even just conceptually—there’s probably somebody out there who’s thought about having sex with it.

So who’s boning ghosts? Well, world-famous pop star Kesha for one. The song “Supernatural” off her 2012 album Warrior is apparently about a one-night stand with a specter. “That song was about having sex with a ghost,” the singer told Ryan Seacrest that year. “I lived in this flop house at Rural Canyon, and there was this weird energy that lived there. It used to keep me up at night and wake me up. It progressed into this dark, sexual spirit.” She admitted that, while she didn’t know his name, the encounter “did scare me, but that’s part of the fun of it.” We’ll take her word for it.

But are normies like you and I engaging in paranormal activity between the sheets? In his article “Ghost Modernism: A Beginner’s Guide to Spectrophilia,” Mark Griffiths, Ph.D., of Nottingham Trent University, a psychologist who explores “addictive, obsessional, compulsive, and/or extreme behaviors” on his blog (he’s given Glamour permission to cite him in this story), writes that spectrophilia as a condition is probably real, even if ghosts themselves aren’t. He points to the numerous historical and folkloric tales of spirits having sex with humans as proof that people have always been intrigued by raunchy wraiths.

In fact, most world cultures have some version of a lingering spirit that lives on beyond death. The most famous mythic examples of sex ghosts coast-to-coast were the incubus and succubus. First referenced all the way back in Mesopotamia, incubi are male demons who engage in sexual activity with sleeping women (succubi are their female counterparts). Though, historically, it wasn’t a sexy as it sounds: Copulation with an incubus is how they believed witches were conceived. (Just because your dad is a creepy sex demon doesn’t mean you can’t go on to have a totally fulfilling life, though. After all, Merlin was said to be fathered by an incubus.)

For his part, Griffiths notes that there’s (unsurprisingly) no empirical evidence that anyone’s truly had sex with a ghost. That said, most spectrophiles actually don’t admit to going all the way—they’re merely aroused by the idea of having relations with a spirit. Therefore, he writes, “the main sexual outlet for spectrophilia would appear to be masturbation.” And if you were also super into Thackery Binx at an impressionable age, this definitely tracks.

PHOTO: Walt Disney Pictures

Thackery Binx, low-key breakout star of Hocus Pocus

For that reason, millennials who were into Devon Sawa for the three minutes of Casper he wasn’t a cartoon, knockoff ghost Leo for the three minutes of Hocus Pocus he wasn’t a cat, or even Patrick Swayze makin’ horny spectral pottery with Demi Moore can consider themselves, in a way, spectrophiles.

How’s that for unfinished business?

More:

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Outlander Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: So Much Wanting and Not Much Having


The article centers on Season 3, Episode 2 of Outlander: “Surrender.” If you’re not, get caught up with the show, be warned: Spoilers abound.

The third season of Outlander is painfully disinterested in instant gratification. This week’s episode is all tease and foreplay. To be fair, there is some sex in this episode but it is not at all the sex we are yearning to witness. Instead, there is awkward sex with eyes wide shut as the show continues filling us in on what happened with Jamie and Claire Fraser during the two decades they were apart, also known as the longest tease in the history of romance novels.

As the second episode opens, we’re in Scotland in 1752. Fergus, Jamie’s nephew Ian, and the housekeeper Mary’s son Rabbie MacNab find a gun that belonged to Rabbie’s dead father and argue over who gets to shoot it first when the damn redcoats appear. Among them is a Corporal MacGregor—a Scotsman serving in the English army, and he’s exactly the asshole you would expect him to be.

The redcoats remain hell-bent on finding Red Jamie, a.k.a. “the Dunbonnet,” a.k.a. the sexiest man on the highlands. After volleying a few threats at Jamie’s family, the redcoats arrest Ian simply because they can.

Where is Jamie? He’s living in a cave in the woods, regressing to his primordial form—hair down to his shoulders, a thick beard, and a demonstrable aversion to bathing. As he’s gallivanting through the woods, smelling what I hope is dirt but is probably feces, Jamie spies a buck, kills it, and brings the spoils of his hunt to Lallybroch tossed over his shoulder, as one does. He sees his sister, Jenny, tending to the garden and for a moment, Jamie imagines she is Claire, which is… incredibly awkward and veering into Game of Thrones territory if you think too hard about it.

Jamie spends most of this episode silent and brooding—living that emo life, 18th century style. When he does talk, he sounds like Christian Bale channeling Batman, hoarse and growly. We get it; he’s miserable. Outlander has never really been subtle and this episode works overtime to make it clear that Jamie has lost all the fire and fight he once had.

PHOTO: Aimee Spinks/STARZ

Jamie goes native

When Jamie stops by Lallybroch to handle the ledgers, Jenny just happens to be in labor. Fergus, Rabbie, and Jamie see a raven as they are doing their chores, and apparently it’s bad luck to spot one while a child is being born. These three musketeers grab the gun they found and kill the raven. As good luck would have it, the bird dies with a single shot. As bad luck would have it, the Redcoats in the vicinity hear the gunshot.

Jamie scolds the boys but Mary MacNab intervenes and takes the gun. Jamie goes to see his sister who has just delivered a baby boy. Even though she just birthed a baby without an epidural, Jenny tries to set Jamie up with Mary and get him laid. Jenny is the most Ride-or-Die sibling in the game. Jamie is having none of it and who can blame him? We saw how incredible the sex was between him and Claire. Accept no substitutes.

Suddenly, Redcoats are all over Lallybroch, looking for the gun they heard. Jenny plays dumb and Jamie hides in a nearby hall holding the newborn baby, trying to keep him quiet. When the Redcoats realize Jenny just had a baby, they demand to know where the baby is. She lies, saying the baby was stillborn. The captain doesn’t believe the story but Mary saves the day by claiming the pistol was hers, that she killed the raven because of superstition.

Ian is eventually released from jail and Corporal MacGregor smarms and makes threats while eyeballing young Fergus. A little later, Fergus sets off into the woods, but danger lurks. The Redcoats are hiding behind some bushes and before long they are following Fergus, thinking he will lead them to Red Jamie. Fergus is a bright boy—too bright for his own good. His stroll becomes a jog and the Redcoats’ stalking turns to full-on chase, with Fergus talking a whole lot of shit to the Redcoats. Reader: this doesn’t end well.

Jamie overhears Fergus and the Redcoats, and watches helplessly as they grab Fergus, pinning him against a log. MacGregor raises his sword and chops Fergus’s left hand off. It is truly one of those “that sure escalated quickly” moments. And to tie it all with a bow, the last shot of the scene is poor Fergus’s hand lying on the forest floor. (Side note: Another Game of Thrones moment? What is it with these hit fantasy shows and hand-chopping? Freud would have some thoughts.)

Jamie runs to the fallen boy, channels Nurse Claire, and applies a tourniquet before bringing Fergus back to Lallybroch. Though Fergus is going to live, Jamie is beside himself. Years of silence overwhelm him and he falls to his knees, sobbing in Jenny’s arms. I believe Dr. Phil would call it “a breakthrough.” When Jamie checks in on Fergus, they have a sweet little chat, all things considered, and Jamie reaffirms his promise to always look after him. Fergus tells Jamie he’s finally acting like himself. All it took was a brutal amputation!

As they stare into a crackling fire, Jamie and Ian have a chat about phantom limb pain and Ian says what we all know—that Claire was Jamie’s heart and without her, he is lost, living with the pain of something that is gone. Jamie decides he can no longer risk his family’s lives and tells Jenny and Ian they need to turn him in so at least they can get the reward money. Jamie is back, indeed, and ready to run right back into the fire.

Later, Mary MacNab shows up at Jamie’s cave for a visit, bow chicka wow wow. She gives him a good shave, cuts his hair, and finally, Jamie has his sexy back. After Jamie washes himself in the creek, thank God, Mary offers herself to Jamie in an exquisitely vulnerable moment where she says she isn’t trying to betray what he had with Claire. Jamie, who hasn’t had sex in like seven years, succumbs and who can blame him? His eyes are closed and he’s crying but Jamie explains that’s just how he does sex. Mary is gonna get hers so they get down—sweetly, tenderly, like two people who haven’t been laid in forever. At least that’s what I am guessing because we don’t see any of it. I choose to imagine the cave walls were quaking.

When he returns to Lallybroch, freshly groomed, Jamie pretends it is his first homecoming. Everyone puts on a really good show and the Redcoats actually believe Jenny would betray her brother because the Redcoats are not very smart. It looks like Jamie is, once again, going to be behind bars and who knows for how long. Outlander is not a show that is afraid of subjecting its characters to an infinite amount of drama or suffering. Every time you think Jamie has been through the worst, the show asks us to hold its beer.

In mid-century Boston, Claire can’t sleep because she is having sexy fantasies about sexy Jamie, all naked and thick with muscles and giving her that “come fuck me” look she clearly craves. Alas, she is actually in bed with boring Frank and that, my friends, is the very definition of tragedy. On one particular night, Claire is in need of some loving. She tentatively reaches for Frank and before he can ruin anything by jabbering, she strips off her nightgown, straddles him and gets hers. It’s all very depressing because while Claire can close her eyes and make pretend, we can’t.

Outlander Season 3 2017

PHOTO: Aimee Spinks/STARZ

At least the baby makes Claire happy?

After having Millie Nelson and her husband, Jerry, over for dinner, Frank and Claire are feeling a bit amorous as they share a nightcap in front of the fireplace. Claire, never shy about taking the initiative, steps out of her underwear and pulls Frank’s hand between her thighs. It’s almost a sexy moment, but as they’re fucking, Frank keeps asking Claire to open her eyes and it’s like, Dude, first of all, most people have sex with their eyes closed, and second of all, just enjoy the ride and let the woman think of Jamie as you bone her! But no, Frank can’t let Claire do Claire. “When I’m with you, I’m with you, but you’re with him,” Frank says. Just like that, the moment is over.

After her wild adventures in the 18th century, Claire is not satisfied by being a wife and mother, so she decides to do something more—enroll in Harvard Medical School. She’s not the only anomaly; there’s also a black man in the class. As everyone takes their seats, the men are openly hostile because they know Claire is about to put their mediocrity on blast. She handles it with aplomb and when the black student, Joe Abernathy, enters, he sits right next to Claire. It’s a page right out of the Grey’s Anatomy episode when Richard Weber and Ellis Grey became pals because no one in their medical school cohort respected them for daring to not be white men.

In another bedroom scene at the Randall home, Claire and Frank now sleep in separate twin beds, which is just … sad. Throughout the episode, it’s clear that Claire and Frank are trying their damndest to make their marriage work, but Jamie Fraser is always between them.

If there is one thing that Jamie, Claire, and Frank have in common, it’s that they all desperately want the very things they cannot have. Frank is yearning to be the only man in Claire’s heart; Jamie is yearning to have Claire by his side in all things; Claire is yearning to be by Jamie’s side in all things, and, as she explains in a voiceover, to be part of something bigger than herself. The thing is—no one is yearning for Frank. He is, as he has been since Season 1, the odd man out. Given how Season 2 ended, it seems like that’s what Frank is always going to be.



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