Jane the Virgin ended its spectacular five-season run on The CW this week, and it’s clear that the show’s star, Gina Rodriguez, is feeling all the things. On Wednesday, July 31, just before the grand finale, she posted a lengthy, heartfelt post on Instagram about what the ending meant to her.
She shared a photo of herself wearing a black jacket over a wedding dress—a clue about the happy way the creators decided to end Jane the Virgin. “Wow,” she wrote. “We started shooting the first season of Jane in July 2014. A few days into shooting I turned 30 on set. Yesterday I turned 35. And today is the very last episodes, 99 and 100, airing of Jane the Virgin. Five years. Five years of love, laughter, growth, pain, surprises, deaths, new births and a shit ton of memories.”
“Thank you, Gina, for giving us Jane Villanueva and for all the lessons I have learned through this beautiful character that you portrayed amazingly and to your full potential with your entire heart. No one else could play Jane like you,” one fan wrote in the comments section. Yvonne Orji, known for playing Molly on Issa Rae’s HBO hit Insecure, added, “Amazing!!! AMAZING! 5 glorious years!!”
Gina Rodriguez wasn’t the only person who walked down memory lane before yesterday’s emotional finale. Her co-star, Justin Baldoni, who plays love interest Rafael Solano, posted an interview in which he tears up talking about the impact of getting to work on Jane. Watch it for yourself, above.
“It’s rare to get a chance to be a part of something this beautiful,” he said. “You grow up and you dream about being a performer or being an actor or being a director, and those dreams seem so far away from who you are as a young boy, and then you win the lottery and it happens.”
Jane the Virgin has been captivating audiences for four hilarious seasons, but it only has one left: It was just revealed that the fifth and final season will premiere on Wednesday, March 27. Anchored by the enigmatic Jane Villanueva (Gina Rodriguez), the show is a laugh-out-loud tribute to telenovelas that both embraces and subverts tropes—including evil twins, secret identities, undercover crime bosses, and minor characters who wind up dead under cartoonishly suspicious circumstances.
As the show enters its final season—following the most shocking cliff-hanger ever—fan theories are popping up all over social media. Here are nine that will keep you up at night. Warning: Spoilers ahead.
Michael’s death, caused by an undiagnosed complication from a gunshot wound, left Jane a bereaved widow. In the last few seconds of the season-four finale, Jane walks into her boyfriend Rafael’s apartment and sees Michael, her dead husband, standing there. It was a jaw-dropping scene that lit up social media, and JtV fans have been digging for the truth ever since. So far, the most popular theory is that he’s been living with amnesia. A couple of things back this up: Amnesia is a frequent novella storyline and one that Jane’s famous father, Rogelio, mentioned several times in the network pitch for his new TV show, The Passions of Steve and Brenda. For the split second the audience sees Michael’s face, he does seem confused, almost as if he doesn’t recognize his wife.
Is it possible that Sin Rostra (Rose), who’s long been obsessed with Rafael, Michael, and Jane, hired someone to change a man into “Michael”? It’s not that far-fetched. After all, Rose did run a plastic surgery ring that changed the appearance of criminals so they could escape the police. (Sin Rostro, interestingly, translates to “faceless.”)
Viewers know Rose isn’t above using incredibly realistic-looking costumes to disguise herself. Could she have used her expertise to disguise a man as Michael, thus giving Rose the opportunity to hold the real Michael captive? Some fans suspect Michael faked his death in order to prove Jane would always end up with Rafael, but that would be super extra of him.
Long-lost twins are always a possibility in telenovelas. Could Michael have a brother who’s been hidden for all these years? Maybe, but this scenario is less likely than the others for a few reasons. First, they have the evil-twin angle covered with Petra and Aneska. Second, Michael’s grieving mother has been a part of Jane’s storyline, and it’s unlikely she’d ignore the existence of another child.
The Solanos have more family drama than the Kardashians. Early in the series, Raf finds out his mother—who abandoned him when he was four, leaving him with his mercurial father—is a crime boss. She’s also the stepmother of his stepmother, Rose (Sin Rostro). See? Confusing. After his mother is murdered by Rose, he finds out the parents who raised him are not his biological parents (meaning Luisa is not his biological sister). He’s able to trace his ancestry through his family’s stolen art collection, which came from a convent in Italy, where his adoption took place.
There are two popular theories in the running. Possibility number one: JR is his sister. That would explain why her mother, who has dementia, has been mentioned. Possibility number two: Rose, his father’s ex-wife and his adopted mom’s step-daughter, is his biological mom. That could explain why she’s a constant, albeit evil, presence in his life.
Evil twins are a staple in soap opera storytelling. Aneska was introduced as Petra’s homely and meek long-lost sister, but her three-point plan was quickly revealed. (Step 1: Force Petra into a coma. Step 2: Sleep with Rafael. Step 3: Take control of the Marbella.) To say the Petra and Aneska had a fraught relationship after that is an understatement, but no one could have predicted that Petra, in a flash of rage and fear, would murder Aneska, then lie about it to her new lover and lawyer, JR. But as soap operas across the globe have proved over and over again, evil twins never really die. That, combined with Aneska’s knack for imitation, gives fans some trust issues. Is this another double-take deception? Could it be that Petra was the one who was killed by Aneska?
Petra and JR barely have time to deal with their traumatic breakup before they’re confronted with a mysterious intruder. (This is, presumably, the same person who’d been blackmailing JR.) As a horrified Petra whispers, “Oh my God, it’s you” and braces for a gunshot, JR rushes toward the would-be shooter and kills them. But who is it? There are several possibilities because Petra has a lot of enemies, with Aneska at the top of the list.
The soothing voice that guides viewers through the world of Jane the Virgin has become a character in his own right. He’s there to recap twisted storylines, offer insight into the characters’ motivations, and give hints about what’s to come. Who is he, though? Fans have a few ideas. It could be Jane’s father, Mateo Sr., who passed away long ago and is watching over his family. On the flip side, it might be young Mateo, who grew up watching all this drama unfold.
In season four, Jane has an artistic breakthrough and decides to write her book as an intergenerational tale of love and family. Could the Jane the Virgin world simply be Jane’s imagination or a plot line for her novel? Hopefully, we get closer to the answers in season five.
The Bachelor is back for another season, and you know what that means: another round of giving up Monday nights to watch women in sequined dresses compete for a guy who addresses Bachelor Nation as “Hey, bro!”:
Reader, I cannot wait. Colton Underwood’s search for love is bound to be a wild ride. Of course, it helps that I’m more invested in his journey than Arie’s, though I am already over the show’s non-stop references to his virginity. Colton has more interesting personality traits than that…right? Actually, don’t answer that. It doesn’t matter anyway, because we all know the contestants fuel the drama and comedy around here. Which is why I’m going to stop with this preamble and get straight to the recap. Spoilers ahead. (Note: I’m skipping the live event coverage, sorry!)
We start with Cassie, a woman with exactly zero flaws. She has perfect teeth! She surfs! She’s smart! She works with children! She pulls off striped pants without looking like a clown! Cassie is a reminder that the women on The Bachelor are practically perfect, while the male contestants for The Bachelorette are like, “Hey, I’m a personal trainer and by personal trainer I mean I work out in my garage with my dad sometimes.” A guy on The Bachelorette can imply that victims of a school shooting are crisis actors and win. A female contestant on The Bachelor, however, can be a man’s fiancé and still get dumped on national TV for the season’s third Lauren. Men.
We then meet Hannah B. She’s from Alabama and our heir to Raven and Tia’s Southern Queen throne. Hannah B. stands on the side of the road begging trucks to honk for “Roll tide,” which is something that can only be cute in the Bachelor universe. If your friend was like, “I’m moving to California to be in a relationship with one man and 29 women but first let me stand by this highway for an hour,” you would have QUESTIONS. But Hannah B. is Miss Alabama, so I think she’ll be OK navigating the murky waters of a rose ceremony cocktail hour.
“I’m a total trainwreck. … The hot mess express, and I’m the conductor!” — Hannah B.
Katie is 26, from the east coast, and living in Los Angeles to pursue her dreams of becoming a dancer. There’s a whole scene of her dancing, I think, but her moves mostly involve waving her arms around in the air (like she just doesn’t care). Katie likes Colton because he’s her type: “blond hair, green eyes, athletic, super kind, kind of weird.”
Moving on to Heather, a 22-year-old California babe who’s never had sex or even been kissed before. Heather seems sweet and does not deserve whatever “OMG two virgins?!?!” storyline we’re undoubtedly about to see.
Onyekachukwu Ehie (a.k.a. Onyeka) claims she’s a lot to handle but doesn’t care what people think—usually the sign of a soon-to-be villain edit. She might be a good match for Colton, though: Her parents dated two weeks before getting engaged—they’ve been married 28 years—so she’s not bothered by the short time frame of a Bachelor production cycle.
Next is Nicole, a gorgeous woman who says it’s hard to be single in Miami if you’re attractive. What? Please explain. “Like, when I go out clubbing, you’re not going to meet eligible bachelors.” Oh, OK, so…don’t do that? You know there are other options, like getting set up by friends and dating apps? Applying to a reality show, especially this reality show, should be the last resort. I can’t be too harsh on Nicole, though, because we’re shown a very adorable moment with her brother AJ, who has autism.
I also can’t get a full read on Kirpa, a dental hygienist who hopes Colton flosses. For some reason she reminds me a little bit of Raquel from Vanderpump Rules, in a good way. It seems like they might have the same sweet naiveté—but at least Kirpa’s not dating a DJ who screams about summer bodies.
Demi is a “sassy” country girl who loves four-wheeling, skateboarding, and Texas. She reveals that her mom is in federal prison for embezzlement, which is new for The Bachelor. Her mom’s about to get out soon, but instead of spending time with her family or preparing for that Demi is off to the Bachelor mansion. Her only concern: Colton’s virginity. Because, “If you’ve only had a vanilla cupcake, how do you know you don’t like chocolate? Or strawberry?” Luckily she’s “the damn confetti cake.”
That leads us to our first shot of Colton, a thirst-trap scene of him showering outside while sexy rock music plays. My God, Bachelor editors, why are you so obsessed with this man’s virginity?
As if that weren’t enough, poor Colton has to talk about what it’s like to be the “first virgin Bachelor” over a montage of him working out and showering again. If The Bachelor is to be believed, then a day in the life of Colton is just showering, getting sweaty, showering, and talking about sex. Not the worst day, I guess. Colton opens up about not fitting in as a kid; he eventually found confidence through football, but he was too busy to find love. He says he was ready to have sex with Becca, but then she dumped him. Yikes.
In a sit down with Chris Harrison, Colton is told he was a “controversial” choice. They talk about the negative reaction and comments and…hold on a minute. Googles everything I’ve written about Colton. ? “I can see where they come from,” Colton says, kindly. “I get it.” He’s not here to win over the fans, or me, or Chris—he’s in it for himself. Chris Harrison brings up Colton’s virginity and implies that’s a reason some of us weren’t on board. Uh, no. I thought Colton wasn’t ready to be The Bachelor because he strung along Tia in Paradise while crying over Becca. Why would I cheer for that over cutie pies Jason and Blake?
“There’s always a stigma around being a virgin…” – Colton “He’s not a man!” – Chris Harrison
Now, it’s time for the limo arrivals. Our girl Demi is the first one out and drops this line: “So, I have not dated a virgin since I was 12, but I’m excited to give it another shot.” Poor Colton has to stand there and smile and be so patient with all this virgin nonsense. If I were him, I’d be like:
Instead he says, “All right. I love that!”
Tayshia is next, followed by “Never Been Kissed” Heather. On behalf of Bachelor Nation, I want to apologize to all the virgins who’ve ever appeared on this franchise. That includes Ashley I.
Nicole steps out in a green dress that is a lewk, and I love it. Caelynn is Miss North Carolina, so maybe she knows Hannah B.? If we can have four Laurens, we can certainly have two beauty queens. Sydney is an NBA dancer who says she had to choose between quitting her job and coming here to meet Colton. She thinks she made the right choice, but I say it’s TBD.
Elyse has Amy Adams hair realness going on. Tahzjuan’s entire bit is about how to pronounce her name. Maybe if everyone wasn’t named Lauren she wouldn’t have to do that but here we are. Cassie packed a box with fake butterflies, and Colton keeps one. Ooh, she’s getting the wifey edit. Kirpa is here, followed by Caitlin with a red balloon so they can “pop his cherry.” Make it stop.
“I mean, he is just a big, huge teddy bear who makes me feel like a little tiny baby, and I loved it.” – Demi
Cue a montage of virgin jokes and sexual innuendos. “Have you ever tasted a Georgia peach?” from Courtney. Katie makes a “V card” joke. Alex D. dressed like a sloth because he “takes things slowly.” Nicole has taken on the “voice of the audience” role, quipping about how lame the virginity jokes are and giving a side eye to Alex’s sloth costume.
PHOTO: Rick Rowell
Onyeka also tells Colton how to pronounce her name, while Erika brings a bag of nuts because her last name is Mcnutt. Hannah B. does a “roll tide!” before going into the mansion and revealing that, yup, she and Miss North Carolina know each other. Caelynn was first runner up at Miss USA and beat Hannah, but Hannah is cool with it: “I just hope we don’t have to kill each other.”
Tracy, she of problematic tweets, pulls up in a cop car because she is the fashion police. Nicole is happy a stylist has arrived because she’s never seen so many sequins in her life, which cues the arrival of Angelique and Devin, both in sparkles.
Nicole is like, well, at least I stood out by speaking Spanish! Cut to Revian speaking in Mandarin and Nina in Croatian. Alex B. does the Love Actually card move because she’s too sick to speak. Then Bri takes it to another level by talking in an Australian accent. And twist: She’s not Australian, she just did that to stand out. Can’t wait to see how that plays out.
Moving on, Hannah G. gives Colton his “favorite brand of underwear,” an empty box. (Get it?) Annie hugs. Jane Photoshops a photo of his dog next to her dog.
Meanwhile, Caelynn is still waiting for the girl that’s gonna stir the pot—or as she calls her, “that bitch”—and surprise! She’s here: Catherine, a 26-year-old DJ from Ft. Lauderdale. She brought her dog, Lucy, along to give to Colton. Um, wouldn’t he prefer having his own dog to take care of instead of your elderly Pomeranian? I’d be concerned about the kind of person willing to dump their beloved pet onto a stranger so they can drink rosé with 30 women. Chris Harrison steps in to dog sit, and you better believe he’s getting a raise for this shit. He has not spent years dealing with tears, the Paradise humidity, and Juan Pablo just to add “dog walker” to his résumé.
PHOTO: Rick Rowell
A horse-drawn carriage then comes up carrying Erin. She’s wearing blue, her job description says Cinderella, and she leaves a shoe behind as she tells Colton to find her before the clock strikes midnight. Your move, Snow White.
“Wow, I really could have done a lot more than a bag of nuts.” – Erika
Time to check in with Colton: He’s ready to enter the Lion’s den. Demi grabs Colton first after his speech. After they talk, she’s confident that he already has a crush on her. I must adopt this for my 2019 mood.
Erika Mcnutt is like, “WHY IS HE A VIRGIN. I MUST FIND OUT.” Sweetie, chill. He doesn’t even know your name yet.
Colton talks to a few of the women—Kirpa, Laura, and Hannah G.—before bonding with Caelynn over their desire to have kids. Their talk goes so well, in fact, we get our first kiss of the night. The verdict? “He kisses very well for a virgin.” (PS: She kind of looks like a pageant queen Miley Cyrus, no?)
PHOTO: Rick Rowell
After this, Chris Harrison puts the first impression rose on the coffee table. The mood instantly changes—even the sloth’s claws are out. The women are all, “Where’s Colton? I NEED MY TIME.”
I’ll tell you where he is: with Sydney, who’s organized a super romantic date out on the driveway. There’s a string quartet playing “Clair De Lune” as she teaches Colton how to dance. The women hear the music and come out to creep, exclaiming, “Oh my God, he’s falling in love right now.”
That’s not the only big move: Elyse is from Alaska, so she suggests fishing in the pool. Cute idea on paper, but she basically throws a salmon carcass into the water and asks Colton to drag it out. I really hope production drained the pool after that.
PHOTO: Rick Rowell
Speaking of dates, Tayshia set up a carnival called Tayshialand. That is so extra, I love it. Tayshialand has pony rides, corn hole, and…well, that’s it. Catherine the DJ’s opinion of these dates? “Girls, calm down.”
Somebody who doesn’t need to calm down: the sloth, who is literally hanging out in a tree. Sloth eventually, slowly, climbs down to talk to Colton, and a few of the women discuss how weird this is without being bitchy. I’m impressed. The conversation goes like this:
“The sloth’s kind of weird, but I bet she’s nice.”
“I want her to slip that sloth head off and be a fierce ass bitch!”
“Oh, she’s got good hair!”
Catherine the DJ is finally enjoying her solo time with Colton while Chris Harrison is stuck walking Lucy the dog around and cleaning up its poo. But soon, Tracy comes over and cuts in. Catherine agrees to leave, but changes her mind two seconds later and steals Colton back. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your coloring,” she tells him, “But I think our conversation might be a little more important.”
The women are annoyed that Catherine’s stolen extra time, so Oneyka walks over in a snorkel, blows on a whistle, and says, “Colton, I heard you were drowning in some bitches!” I. Am. Dead. Catherine thinks this is tacky, but game recognizes game so she steps away.
But then, Catherine comes over and interrupts Colton’s talk with yet another woman. This third interruption has everyone fired up, so Onyeka takes it upon herself to call Catherine on her bullshit, telling her she looks “desperate.” Catherine says she doesn’t want any bad blood with the women, and Onyeka, a genius, uses that opportunity to say, “Exactly! I’m looking out for you at this point.” Catherine blames the whole thing on “haters.” They hug.
But! Catherine goes and does it again, interrupting Tahzjuan’s time with Colton. The look on his face as this happens is a mix of fear, intrigue, confusion, and disbelief.
Apparently this was finally enough time for Catherine, because the rest of the night Colton’s able to talk to other women. He even makes out with Cassie and Katie. However, the first impression rose goes to Hannah G. Colton says she reminds him of home, and he liked that she owned her nervousness because he’s nervous too. They kiss, the music swells, and the other women go into panic mode.
A perfect time for the rose ceremony! The roses, besides Hannah G.’s, go to: Caelynn, Katie, Alex B., Hannah B., Onyeka, Caitlin, Annie, Kirpa, Heather, Elyse, Tayshia, Courtney, Cassie, Demi, Nina, Erika, Sydney, Bri, Angelique, Tracy, Nicole, and Catherine. That means we must say goodbye to Tahzjuan, Erin, Devin, Jane, Alex D., Laura, and Revian. We’ll miss you!
