Kim Kardashian West’s journey to becoming a mother of four kids—North, Saint, Chicago, and Psalm—hasn’t been without its difficulties. During her first two pregnancies, Kardashian West experienced placenta accreta, a condition in which the placenta is stuck during birth. She then chose to use surrogates for her third and fourth children. Now, Kardashian West reveals that welcoming her third child, her daughter Chicago, came with the help of an unexpected resource just for surrogacies.
In an interview with divorce lawyer Laura Wasser for her podcast, All’s Fair, Kim Kardashian West shared she used a “surrogate therapist” to assist with Chicago’s birth, E! News reports.
The surrogate therapist, as Kardashian West explained it, acted as a mediator between herself and the surrogate who carried her daughter, Chicago. It was one of several professionals who came on board to ensure the surrogacy went smoothly: “You get your surrogate attorney, you get your surrogate broker and then the broker recommended that we use a therapist that would communicate with me first and then communicate with her and kind of be our liaison,” Kardashian West said.
With the surrogate therapist on her team, Kardashian West was able to ensure she and her surrogate were comfortable at every point during the pregnancy, from the early months to the delivery. She says they discussed “[t]hings like going through the birthing plan, so if anything was uncomfortable she would be that buffer to say, ‘This is who I want in the room. What are you comfortable with? How does this work?'”
As the surrogate’s pregnancy progressed, Kardashian West noted that she and her surrogate were able to communicate without the therapist’s assistance. “Towards the end we got close enough where we could communicate really without that,” Kim recalled. “[The therapist] would suggest, ‘Hey, I think you guys should communicate once a week through text, maybe on Mother’s Day. She’s a mother as well. Maybe get her a massage or something that’s appropriate for her to pamper.'”
Kardashian West previously has been open about the difficulties she faced during the decision to use surrogates. “Anyone that says or thinks it is just the easy way out is just completely wrong,” she told Entertainment Tonight before Chicago was born. “I think it is so much harder to go through it this way, because you are not really in control. And, you know, obviously you pick someone that you completely trust and that you have a good bond and relationship with, but it is still…knowing that I was able to carry my first two babies and not, you know, my baby now, it’s hard for me. So it’s definitely a harder experience than I anticipated just in the control area.”
Giving birth, Kardashian West said, was one of the most painful experiences of her life. So giving up control over the experience, however difficult, was a choice she stood by. “I am blessed that I am able to do this, and technology is the way that it is that we can do this,” she said.
Before Kardashian West revealed she was expecting her fourth child, Psalm, via surrogate, she told Elle that four kids would likely be her limit. “I don’t think I could handle more than that,” she said. “My time is spread really thin. And I think it’s important that in all couples, the mom gives the husband as much attention as the kids.”
The doctors told us IVF was the next step. And it was our saving grace. We put the truck up for collateral and took out a loan at the bank to pay for our dreams. It worked on the first try. I can’t even describe what it was like when we saw that heartbeat on the ultrasound at six weeks. It was miraculous.
Danger to the mother never crossed my mind. Because, hell, pregnancy can be risky. I wanted a child, and I would survive whatever test came my way to protect that baby—just as all mothers have done throughout the millennia. I did have a relative question our decision due to religious beliefs. All this did was make me dig in my heels: ‘Ok, then join me in praying to God that this works.’ Because this will be a wanted child, a cherished child, a prized child. A child of God.”
— Ginny Bowen Olson lives in Greensboro, North Carolina, with her husband and their two sons. She runs a blog for moms called Mothersrest.
“The motivation to become a surrogate is deeply rooted in a desire to help other people create a family.”
Bjarke Damm, Lars Lundgaard Hansen, and their three daughtersCourtesy of Bjarke Damm
“Our girls came into this world exactly two weeks apart in early 2018. The girls all have the same egg donor, and [my husband] Lars is the biological father to Anna, and I am to the twins. It was important for us that the donor wasn’t anonymous, because we want the girls to meet her, when they are old enough to understand how they came into this world.
Being a surrogate is not for everyone, and it is clearly wrong if it for some reason involves the lack of free will or is done out of financial need. But it is important to remember that for some women the motivation to become a surrogate is deeply rooted in a desire to help other people create a family. This changes the perspective from a surrogate being a victim to her being a strong woman who is bringing something into this world that is deeply beautiful and meaningful. Our three girls have enriched all of us with so much love.”
— Bjarke Damm lives in Denmark with his husband Lars Lundgaard Hansen and their triplets.
Elizabeth Banks has a massively successful career as an actress, producer, writer, and director (most recently of the new Charlie’s Angels reboot) so it’s hard to imagine anyone questioning anything about her. But there is one area that she says she still feels judged about: surrogacy.
Banks and her husband, Max Handelman, have two sons—Felix, 8, and Magnus, 7—who were both born via a surrogate. In a new interview with Porter magazine, she opened up about the subject saying surrogacy was the option the couple chose due to fertility issues (which she called a “broken belly”).
“Women’s reproductive issues were things you would whisper about in small circles,” she said. “[Now,] there’s #ShoutYourAbortion and IVF Facebook groups. I definitely think I’m still judged for what I’ve done and that people don’t understand my choices, but I don’t feel I owe anybody any explanation. And, if my story helps people feel less alone on their journey, then I’m grateful for that.”
Surrogacy has certainly become a more vocal topic in mainstream media and Hollywood in recent years. Along with Banks, celebrities like Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Kardashian, and Gabrielle Union have opened up about using a surrogate. “People want to see the bump, hear that you got hemorrhoids; they want to know you’re like them,” Union has said about her decision to use a surrogate after years of struggling with infertility. “I was like, ‘This is going to seem like the most Hollywood shit ever. Will I be embraced as a mom?’ It’s terrifying.”
And at this year’s Glamour Women of the Year Wards, comedian Michelle Buteau spoke candidly about owning her decision to use a surrogate—also after spending years (and thousands of dollars) on infertility treatments. She’s now the proud mother of twins, Hazel and Otis. “I wanted to find the good in all of it, because that’s what you do sometimes. And so when my surrogate was pregnant and going into labor, my husband, my mother, and I went to the bar next door and had a bottle of Malbec,” she said.
“I just want to let you guys know that whatever you want in life, I want it for you,” Buteau added. “It might not be the way you planned or you want, but never give up because you can get your shit together and get what you want in life.”
In early November, Gabrielle Union and her husband, NBA star Dwyane Wade, welcomed their daughter, Kaavia James, via surrogate. The Being Mary Jane actress has been open about her fertility struggles, telling Oprah Winfrey in December 2018 it was hard to let go of the idea of carrying her child. “Am I defective in some kind of way? Am I less than in some kind of way? Am I less worthy in some kind of way?” she said at the time. Ultimately, though, Union embraced surrogacy and came to the conclusion there are “all different ways you can become parents.”
Unfortunately, our culture still shames women who can’t conceive or deliver naturally—so much so that Union feared she wouldn’t be accepted by other moms because she used a surrogate. “People want to see the bump, hear that you got hemorrhoids—they want to know you’re like them,” Union said in a new interview with Women’s Health. “I was like, ‘This is going to seem like the most Hollywood sh*t ever. Will I be embraced as a mom?’ It’s terrifying.”
At first, the idea of surrogacy seemed like “surrendering to failure” Union said, but she adjusted her mindset to focus on finding the right woman for the job. “Some people care about the race, religion, or food habits of their surrogate. I was like, ‘I want a reader,'” she tells Women’s Health. When a potential surrogate told Union she “loved the smell of pages” in books, she knew she found the one.
Union’s candor about the complicated emotions surrounding surrogacy struck a nerve online. “Please, stop making women feel like not being able to have a baby makes them a failure,” tweeted one person. “Kaavia is as much your daughter as she would have been through a natural conception + birth or through adoption. Congrats,” wrote another.
Union said she’s at a point in her life where she’s in the “right mindset and mental space” to be a mom. “I’m open to being the best mom I can be,” she said. Read more of her Women’s Health interview here.
When Fuller House premiered on Netflix nearly three years ago, a whole generation of ’80s and ’90s kids were excited to check back in on the Tanner family. What followed was a fervor of binge-watching, trend pieces, and Michelle Tanner GIFs, but the buzz tempered by the second season. (How rude.) There were still milestones—an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Children’s Program in 2018, for example—but the sitcom mostly settled into a comfortable routine.
By the end of season three, though, that shifted. Fuller House returned to its roots while simultaneously laying the groundwork for its future. Becky, Jesse, and Danny decided to move back to San Francisco so Danny and Becky can host Wake Up, San Francisco again; DJ and Steve reunited; and Fernando bought the Gibbler house. These events allowed the series to keep the family-friendly vibe, while tapping into more modern storylines: namely, the non-nuclear family structure.
Full House (and, as a result, Fuller House) has always been about a non-nuclear family—but it was because of circumstances like the death of Danny’s wife or DJ’s husband, not choice. That’s not the case in season four, which premieres on Netflix today: One of the main storylines will center on Kimmy Gibbler (Andrea Barber) being a surrogate for Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin).
PHOTO: Mike Yarish/Netflix
The seeds for this actually began back in season one, when it was revealed that Stephanie is unable to have children. Then, in season three, she discovered she had a few eggs left but wouldn’t be able to carry a baby. Enter surrogacy as an option. But Stephanie was in a serious relationship with her boyfriend (and Kimmy’s brother), Jimmy Gibbler, and wasn’t sure if she felt comfortable asking him to be the father should one of her eggs be viable. Turns out he was, and by the season’s end an embryo was implanted in Kimmy. Now she’s pregnant—whether it’s a single or multiple birth is TBD.
It’s a sign that Fuller House isn’t stuck in ’90s nostalgia that Stephanie and Jimmy aren’t married or engaged or even concerned about it. They’re just a couple in love who want to have a baby together. Imagine that happening on Full House with Jesse and Becky? For 30-something Stephanie, her biggest priority is starting a family—not worrying about her forever partner.
“It’s definitely not your traditional sitcom storyline of boy meets girl and they have a baby. I think this is more relevant.”
“It’s definitely not your traditional sitcom storyline of boy meets girl and they have a baby,” Andrea Barber tells Glamour.com. “I think this is more relevant. For a lot of people having a child is not so straightforward—it’s complicated and messy. I’m glad the show went there and didn’t just drop it in season one. It’s been evolving for four seasons.”
The story of Stephanie’s fertility was originally creator and former executive producer Jeff Franklin’s idea. When season one premiered, he told TV Line he wanted one of the three lead women to not have kids—for now. “The backstory I created for her was that she’s a free spirit, traveling the world. She’s into her career and into having fun, and I thought this would be a really interesting aspect to that character—and touching,” he said at the time.
However, executive producer and co-showrunner Steve Baldikoski says that before Franklin departed the series last year he made it known that he wanted season four to be about Kimmy’s surrogacy. “In the last moments of season three, we revealed that Kimmy was pregnant with Stephanie and Jimmy’s baby,” Baldikoski says. “The challenge for [executive producer and co-showrunner] Bryan Behar and I was exactly how that would play out for the year. We wanted to have something that was real and tangible to pull Full House into the modern era of Fuller House.”
So, unlike other sitcoms that have tackled surrogacy (see: Friends, Superstore, The New Normal), the focus will be more on the relationship between Kimmy and Stephanie rather than the baby.
PHOTO: Mike Yarish/Netflix
“Kimmy is so happy that she’s finally an important part of Stephanie’s life,” Barber says. “She’s been rejected by Stephanie for many years; now these characters are bonding in a way they’ve never been able to before. Kimmy doesn’t want to let go of that. [She doesn’t want] to feel like an incubator. She wants to feel more important than that, which I think is pretty valid.”
It is valid, given viewers have watched these two evolve from an eccentric 10-year-old and a precocious 5-year-old to the adult women they are today. “They’ve literally watched us grow up on TV,” Barber says. “To watch this fictional character go through such important life moments is incredible and so poignant.” That’s why she wanted the writers to explore Kimmy and Stephanie’s “mature friendship” as a sisterhood. “I’ve just been delighted for the last two seasons to have these wonderful, funny, tender moments with Jodie [Sweetin].”
Of course Full House has always tackled big subjects—DJ’s eating disorder; the death of a close family member—but they were settled in the span of a 22-minute episode. For that reason alone, Baldikoski and Behar wanted to see Stephanie’s fertility storyline through. “Bryan and I like dealing with these real issues over the entire season, not just a single episode,” Baldikoski says. “We like to think that if you’re going through something, it’s best to deal with it in a realistic way and carry it through a season. It’s not just one and done.”
“It’s a life-changing moment that we’re all going through—and as realistic as it can be for a sitcom.”
Baldikoski relied on personal stories and research to prep for the storyline. “While Fuller House is not a medical show or a drama, we do have writers who are very familiar with [surrogacy] and had different experiences with that. So we relied on a little bit of that and also sent people off to do research. Without invading anyone’s privacy, there was a lot of sharing about our writer’s experiences and the experiences of friends and friends of friends.”
Barber, a mom of two, hasn’t had personal experience with surrogacy, so she turned to one of her closest friends who did. “Her cousin was her surrogate,” she says, adding that she understands the complexities that come with that. “I would suspect…surrogates don’t want to feel just like baby machines. They want to feel important too.”
As for the birth scene, which will happen toward the end of the season, Barber had a request for the writers: make the labor as realistic as possible. “Sitcoms tend to do really silly births with lots of screaming, and it isn’t like that,” she says. “I wanted there to be an emotional connection, a tender moment between the women. They honored my request—and Jodie’s request—that it just not be a silly birth. There’s silliness trying to get to the hospital, of course, but when it comes to the actual birth scene it’s not gratuitous or over the top. It’s just a wonderful moment, and that’s what I had been hoping for for two seasons. They did it.”
Barber adds that you’ll still see lots of realistic sweat and awkward expressions. “It’s not a flawless, beautiful, ‘my makeup is perfect’ birth. It’s a life-changing moment that we’re all going through, and as realistic as it can be for a sitcom.”
PHOTO: Adam Rose/Netflix
The producers also got the rights to Joni Mitchell’s “The Circle Game” to play over an emotional montage. “I’m choked up as I talk about it,” Baldikoski says. “If it doesn’t make Fuller House fans choke up, I don’t know what will. It’s a beautiful scene. Andrea is amazing, Jodie is amazing, Candace is amazing, Adam [Hagenbuch, “Jimmy”] is amazing. We are very proud of it.”
As to whether the episode will serve as a series finale or season finale, Barber and Baldikoski hope there’s a season five in Fuller House‘s future. After all, there are plenty of stories that can stem from this surrogacy. “Usually surrogates don’t live in the same house as the birth mother,” Barber says. “I would love for them to explore that.” And what effect will this new baby have on Kimmy’s teen daughter, Ramona, and her partner, Fernando? How will Kimmy’s relationship with Stephanie change once the baby arrives? “Those are some pretty rich story areas that we have to deal with going forward,” Baldikoski says.
Whatever happens, Baldikoski hopes this will resonate with viewers. “Families come in all shapes and sizes. You don’t have to be a nuclear family anymore. People can feel comfortable with whatever family situation they have as long as they are loved. We want to show that the Fuller/Tanner clan is very inclusive. We’ve even included the first openly gay teenager on the show [this season], who is a friend of Ramona’s. As DJ says, ‘The door is always open.’ That’s our guiding philosophy of the show: Everyone’s welcome.”
Fuller House season four is now streaming onNetflix.
There’s nothing like surprise celebrity baby news to brighten up a day. On Thursday, November 8, Gabrielle Union took to social media to announce that she and her husband, NBA star Dwyane Wade, were the proud parents to a new baby girl. Their child was born the day before, November 7, via a surrogate.
Union has been extremely open about her struggles with infertility in the past, but the couple had kept the surrogacy private until she posted pictures of herself and Wade snuggling their new daughter. In the caption Union wrote, “A LOVELY DAY. We are sleepless and delirious but so excited to share that our miracle baby arrived last night via surrogate and 11/7 will forever be etched in our hearts as the most loveliest of all the lovely days. Welcome to the party sweet girl! #onelastdance #skintoskin @dwyanewade”
The couple are already parents to Wade’s sons Zaire and Zion, from a previous relationship, and help raise Wade’s nephew Zahveon, and they’ve spoken publicly about the desire to have a child together. That wasn’t always the case, though. “I never wanted kids,” she said. “Then I became a stepmom, and there was no place I’d rather be than with them.”
In her book We’re Going to Need More Wine, Union opened up about her IVF treatments and revealed she had multiple miscarriages. “I have had eight or nine miscarriages,” she writes. “For three years, my body has been a prisoner of trying to get pregnant—I’ve either been about to go into an IVF cycle, in the middle of an IVF cycle, or coming out of an IVF cycle.” But she noted that she and Wade “remain bursting with love and ready to do anything to meet the child we’ve both dreamed of.”
Now, they have their “miracle baby” and celebrities and fans alike could not be happier for the couple. “What a blessing!!! I am so happy for you guys!!!” Janelle Monae commented on Union’s post. And director Ava Duvernay wrote, “How wonderful!” See just a few reactions, below:
