Sarah Pitlyk Confirmation: Using A Surrogate Doesn't ‘Diminish Respect For Motherhood'

The doctors told us IVF was the next step. And it was our saving grace. We put the truck up for collateral and took out a loan at the bank to pay for our dreams. It worked on the first try. I can’t even describe what it was like when we saw that heartbeat on the ultrasound at six weeks. It was miraculous.

Danger to the mother never crossed my mind. Because, hell, pregnancy can be risky. I wanted a child, and I would survive whatever test came my way to protect that baby—just as all mothers have done throughout the millennia. I did have a relative question our decision due to religious beliefs. All this did was make me dig in my heels: ‘Ok, then join me in praying to God that this works.’ Because this will be a wanted child, a cherished child, a prized child. A child of God.”

— Ginny Bowen Olson lives in Greensboro, North Carolina, with her husband and their two sons. She runs a blog for moms called Mothersrest.

“The motivation to become a surrogate is deeply rooted in a desire to help other people create a family.”

Bjarke Damm, Lars Lundgaard Hansen, and their three daughtersCourtesy of Bjarke Damm 

“Our girls came into this world exactly two weeks apart in early 2018. The girls all have the same egg donor, and [my husband] Lars is the biological father to Anna, and I am to the twins. It was important for us that the donor wasn’t anonymous, because we want the girls to meet her, when they are old enough to understand how they came into this world.

Being a surrogate is not for everyone, and it is clearly wrong if it for some reason involves the lack of free will or is done out of financial need. But it is important to remember that for some women the motivation to become a surrogate is deeply rooted in a desire to help other people create a family. This changes the perspective from a surrogate being a victim to her being a strong woman who is bringing something into this world that is deeply beautiful and meaningful. Our three girls have enriched all of us with so much love.”

— Bjarke Damm lives in Denmark with his husband Lars Lundgaard Hansen and their triplets.

Jenny Singer is a staff writer for Glamour.

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