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Stassi Schroeder: A Prenup Can Be a Romantic Experience. Let Me Explain.


Basic Bride is a new wedding column from Vanderpump Rules star Stassi Schroeder. If you’re looking for advice, stop right here. But read on if you want honest, hilarious commentary on the trials of planning a wedding that millions of people will watch.

When I was younger, before I even got into relationships I thought could end in marriage, I always assumed I would get a prenup. Maybe it’s because both of my parents have been divorced three times. I don’t know. But to me, prenup doesn’t feel like a dirty word.

I know the very idea of a prenup seems contradictory to some people. They say, “Why marry if you’re planning for your divorce?” That’s not how I feel about it, though. I mean, no one goes into a marriage assuming divorce is an option. If you are, you shouldn’t be getting married. Other people say, “Just have a commitment ceremony.” But we want the same rights as a married couple. Marriage is a contract—and just like with any contract, there are rules, guidelines, and expectations. I think everyone should consider it, regardless of what you have in the bank.

People are surprised that I talk about getting a prenup so easily, but that’s how we should talk about it. There shouldn’t be this stigma about it. Prenups for so long have this sexist connotation—people think of gold diggers and things like that. Men who have a lot of money and are trying to protect it from women. That’s not what a prenup is about. It’s a mutually beneficial agreement so both partners feel safe and taken care of.

My fiancé, Beau, and I didn’t need to have a big conversation about it—you know, where one of us sat the other down and said, “How would you feel about a prenup?” He’s from a family of divorce too, so we both just knew that’s what we would do. And the more Beau and I talk about it, the more I realize we’re so in sync. We’re able to have those hard conversations. If I’m going to commit to someone for the rest of my life, I need to be able to talk about uncomfortable things like finances. I’ve found the whole experience to be romantic and sweet, in a way. We’re close enough to discuss anything. Nothing is off limits.



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Stassi Schroeder: Help—My Guest List Is Stressing Me Out


Then we asked, “Who have we actually spent time with in the last year?”

Which then became, “Who have we actually spent time with in the last six months?”

And finally, “Who do we think is going to play a part in our future together?” We want to know that everyone we’re inviting will be a part of our lives after we’re married, too.

That helped us narrow our guest list down a lot. Because at first, Beau and I did disagree about it. While I prefer to surround myself with a smaller group of friends, he’s the guy with a million friends and acquaintances. Needless to say, there were a lot of people he wanted to include. But that shifted once we got into the wedding budget. When he saw how expensive each person is and how everything adds up, Beau was very quick to start shortening the list. I’m always like, “Is this person worth a designer handbag?” And he’ll say, “Yeah, let’s cut the list.”

It also helps that we’re paying for the wedding ourselves, so our families have zero freaking say. We’re taking care of it, so we’re the bosses, and it is what it is. They’ve made suggestions, of course, and we’ve just thrown them out the window. No, your work friend’s aunt is not invited. Sorry. No one’s daring to ask anymore.

At this point, the most stressful thing is actually all the speculation about whether or not [my Vanderpump Rules’ castmate] Kristen Doute will be invited. The headlines and comments on my Instagram do upset me at times. People will say, “You’re a really bad friend, and I hope you invite Kristen.” Or ask, “Are you just holding this over her head?” No, I’m not holding an invitation over anyone’s head. It’s already hard enough making a guest list in private, but to have it public with so many opinions from strangers takes a toll emotionally.

The truth is, I just don’t know yet, but my heart wants Kristen there. I am praying and hoping that we get to a good place where we understand each other. But I have no idea how this year will go. I have no idea if we’ll be getting along. I have no idea where our relationship will be. We might end up watching this season of Vanderpump Rules and be even more angry with each other. And why would I invite someone who’s angry with me to one of the most important days of my life?

I’m trying to figure it out, but it doesn’t help that it’s all anyone wants to talk about with me. Just because someone’s on my cast doesn’t mean they’re automatically invited. My friends are obviously coming, but James Kennedy and I don’t have a relationship. We’ve never been friends. We’ve never even sat and had a conversation together. So he’s not invited. It’s nothing against him, he just isn’t in our lives. I wouldn’t expect to be invited to his wedding. It is what it is.

But you never know—the guest list is still in flux. I feel like I’ll constantly be reworking it up until the day of the wedding. Is that a thing? Can you send last minute invites?

Honestly, I shouldn’t be writing an advice column on this topic because clearly I’m the one who needs help. It’s stressful to examine each person in your life and how they make you feel. I can’t invite people just because they’re expecting it or around my group of friends a lot. I’m really trying to focus on the fact that this is about me and Beau and good energy. If you have even a hint of negative energy, you’re not coming. So namaste, bitches.

Stassi Schroeder is an author and reality-TV personality. Follow her on Twitter @stassi. Her book Next Level Basic: The Definitive Basic Bitch Handbook is now available.

Hear more from Stassi on Glamour’s What I Wore When podcast.

Photographer: Nyra Lang; fashion editor: Shilpa Prabhakar Nadella; hair: Leon Gorman; makeup: Stephanie Peterson





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Stassi Schroeder: I Never Wanted to Have Bridesmaids—Now I Have Nine


Basic Bride is a new wedding column from Vanderpump Rules star Stassi Schroeder. If you’re looking for advice, stop right here. But read on if you want honest, hilarious commentary on the trials of planning a wedding that millions of people will watch.

I never wanted to have bridesmaids. I love weddings, I love my friends, and I love being in my friends’ weddings, but I’ve always thought that having bridesmaids means more stress for the bride. You’re constantly delegating—choosing the bridesmaids, picking out their dresses, making sure they all get along and feel included. So when I got engaged to my fiancé, Beau, I thought, why add extra work for myself? My friends will be at my wedding no matter what.

When I told my friends that I didn’t want to have bridesmaids, though, they were livid. They were like, “Abso-fucking-lutely not. We love you, and this means more to us than it does to you. If you don’t do bridesmaids, we’re going to kill you.”

So I’m having bridesmaids.

But once I made that decision, I quickly realized: Oh shit. If I’m going to do this, I have to really do this. I don’t like when weddings have 20 bridesmaids and 20 groomsmen, but I have so many people I want to include: my sister, my fiancé’s sister, my friends that I grew up with, and the friends that are a big part of my life now. It became a situation. And now I have nine bridesmaids. Don’t judge me.

It was hard to narrow down to just nine! I had to limit it to people who are a big part of my life right now, as well as Beau’s. This isn’t a birthday party celebrating me—it’s about me and Beau. So my bridesmaids need to be people who’ve been around us as a couple. The friends who will continue to be in our lives after we’re married.

Still, I feel like such an asshole having nine bridesmaids when I always said I wouldn’t have any. I have my sister and Beau’s sister, some old friends, and a few cast members (I feel weird even calling them that, since they’re my best friends) in my bridal party. And I have no idea what I’m going to do about the order at the ceremony. This has actually haunted my dreams. Why would I rank my friends? I can’t possibly do that because they’re all important in different ways. Maybe I’ll just pick the names out of a hat—make a big show of it, so they can all see how fair it is.



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Stassi Schroeder: My Friends Will Complain About Attending My Destination Wedding—And That’s Okay


Everyone’s been nice to my face about having to travel for our wedding, which I think is typical. No one’s going to tell you, “Ugh, that’s not ideal.” They’ll just talk behind my back—and that’s totally fine! I want to put on my wedding invitation,“If you cannot make it, if this is too overwhelming for you, seriously don’t come. We’re okay with that! Let’s go to dinner when we get back and celebrate privately. It is totally freaking fine if you think this is too much.”

The real challenge? That it’ll be filmed for Vanderpump Rules. When we went to Rome to scout locations, we took our wedding planners and our producer along. The issue is finding locations that are willing to film, which you’d think would be easy. But our first choice said no. It even affects the hotels. They have to sign off before I’m allowed to tell our guests where they can stay. Right now I’m waiting every single day to hear whether or not our venue has signed the Vanderpump Rules contract. Until then, we can’t start the actual planning. It’s at the point where both Beau and I said, “If we don’t get this venue, we’re just going to call it quits and go to the courthouse!”

Our venue, if the contracts go through, will be Villa Miani. What I love about it: We wanted an outdoor wedding that overlooks the city at dusk—at night you can see the whole city of Rome in lights. It’s so romantic. Again, we’re making people come all the way to Rome. Let’s give them a Roman experience!

As far as other activities, that’s something we have to plan with Vanderpump Rules in mind—because we have to be able to film it. People think that when you get married on TV, it’s like, “Oh, they just take care of it.” No, they do not take care of anything at all. It’s double the amount of hustle for us, and Bravo doesn’t pay for anything.

It’s frustrating at times: Beau and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. It’s our money, but I’m being told I can’t have my first choice in things. Sometimes I feel like, What am I doing this for? Why am I even going to film this? But at the same time, this is my life. I grew up on Vanderpump Rules. I started it in my early 20s. Now I’m in my early 30s, and all of my best friends are on the show. We’ve had the same crew for eight years—they’re like family to us. It’s my job, and my way of life, to show as much of my life as possible. I know that I’m lucky to have it all documented, and I’ll be able to share it with so many people once it airs.

So if I can’t get my first choice, then it’s fine. Beau’s on the same page as me: We don’t want to get too excited until we have something concrete. We’re constantly calling our producers and trying to figure out when we’ll have an answer. Until then, we’re both like, “Let’s focus on work and everything else right now.”



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Stassi Schroeder Will Never Wear a Bikini on National Television Again


My fascination with Bravo runs deep. The formerly humble, semi-highbrow network was once known for re-runs of Twin Peaks and episodes of Inside the Actors’ Studio, but in the early 2000s a seed was planted. Bravo created a “reality” show that followed five gay men making over straight dudes around the country. The rest is pretty much pop culture history. From the Real Housewives franchise to Southern Charm, the network has spent the last decade or so making legitimate celebrities out of its reality talent, most of whom have millions upon millions of Instagram followers and fans who have opinions on their every move.

One such star: Stassi Schroeder, the queen bee of Vanderpump Rules, one of the crowned jewels in Bravo’s repertoire. The show—which kicks off its eighth season tonight— follows servers and bartenders at Sur, an LA restaurant owned by former Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Lisa Vanderpump. During her tenture, Stassi has been called a lot of things: a mean girl, entitled, annoying, a bitch. But she’s also been praised for being relatable, funny, honest, and undeniably herself.

When we met, Stassi had just finished speaking at Glamour’s annual Women of the Year summit where she gave a talk about how some people can be assholes, and that’s OK—certainly an on-brand topic for the 31-year-old. In person, I found her to be friendly, funny, and highly engaging—whether the result of media training or just being a grounded person, she made strong eye contact and was fully committed to our chat.

We talked about the show, yes, but also about her upcoming wedding to boyfriend Beau Clark, a new cast-memeber on Vanderpump (look out for her new bridal column on Glamour this week!) In typical Stassi fashion, though, she refused to tell me a single detail about her dress. She was forthcoming about her life in the public eye—she firmly said she’ll never wear a bikini on television again—and how it feels when people try to cancel her on social media. I asked her about the holiday she bought (just listen — it’ll make sense) and—something we both unapologetically agree on—how shopping can be one of the great stress relievers.

I wasn’t shocked when she asked me which VPR cast-member was the most annoying on social media, and not surprisingly, I had an answer for her.

Listen to the episode below!

Follow host Perrie Samotin on Instagram @perriesamotin, guest Stassi Schroder at @stassischroeder, and subscribe to What I Wore When on Apple Podcasts or where ever you listen to your favorite shows.





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Vanderpump Rules' Stassi, Katie, and Kristen Made a Rosé That's as Easy as 'Drinking Water'


“I don’t know if people know or realize that we—Katie, Stassi, and I—had full creative control,” Kristen says. “Not only over using the wine and the wine’s taste, but the actual label. We created that completely from scratch on our own.”

“I think people are often very surprised by how good it is,” Katie adds. “And that was very important to us because we don’t drink shitty wine.”

“Well, we used to,” Stassi says.

So considering this wine is meant to be enjoyed at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I wanted Katie, Kristen, and Stassi to tell me their tips and tricks for all-day drinking—and the next day hangover. See their advice, below.

Carlos Aboyo/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

Plan the right environment.

A theme is always a good idea for a summer party, Kristen advises, but make sure you schedule an end time for the event. “I think what’s really important is that you have a cutoff time, if you’re having people over, for your guests to leave so you can unwind and drink wine alone with your TV,” Kristen explains. “That’s really important.”

She suggests wine pong as an activity, though Katie and Stassi aren’t big on drinking games with their rosé. “I just need to enjoy my wine,” Stassi says. “Yeah,” Katie adds, “I guess my only game would be, like, drink this glass of wine before the ice melts.”

Don’t stray from the rosé—and eat lots of carbs.

But if this wine is meant to be consumed all day long, how does you keep from going too hard too soon? “Stick to the same thing,” Stassi says. “If you’re gonna commit to day drinking it’s best to drink the same thing, [so we wanted] a rosé that’s really easy that people aren’t going to get sick of.”

“Also, you don’t have to be ashamed of adding a little club soda to make a little spritzer,” Katie says. Adds Kristen, “We’re not against icing your wine either!”

The women also advise adding water and food into the equation, especially “carbs” or their favorite, Taco Bell. (Speaking of which, they recommend pairing Potion Two with a Doritos Loco Taco, Chalupa Supreme, or “anything with the nacho cheese.”)

Stassi Schroeder Ariana Madix Kristen Doute Katie MaloneySchwartz Tom Sandoval Tom Schwartz on Vanderpump Rules
Nicole Weingart/Bravo

Maybeee don’t drink more than two and a half bottles.

The three famously have alter egos—The Dark Passenger, Crazy Kristen, and Tequila Katie—that emerge after one too many drinks. They’re the kind of creatures you might buy a crystal to ward yourself against: They throw their phone on the ground and cry because their boyfriend won’t come to bed. They fall dramatically in the middle of a hotel lobby. They send rage texts from an airline’s economy seat.

When I ask how much rosé it’d take to bring these … powerful beings to the forefront, the women agree it’s probably around two and a half bottles. “It depends on if you’re in the sun all day, because if you are, the Dark Passenger, Tequila Katie, and Crazy Kristen come out a lot quicker with a minimal amount of alcohol,” Stassi says.

“I would say it’s like waking up in the morning in a really great mood, and you’re like, ‘Yeah, let’s get this!’ You know? You have a little breakfast, and you’re like I’m gonna have a little beverage cocktail. Then you’re going to hang out by the pool all day with your friends and drink. And then around, like, 6:00 p.m. that’s when things get dark,” Katie says.

Adds Kristen, “I don’t blame that on alcohol, I blame that on dehydration. What I like about our wine is that it doesn’t bring out crazy Kristen.”



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