Tag: Miscarriage

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We Need to Talk About the Miscarriage Scene in Fleabag


One of Fleabag‘s many charms is how deftly it nails the mortifying, yet strangely beautiful experience that is being a woman in the world. The credit goes to creator, writer, and star Phoebe Waller-Bridge: the Amazon Prime series is based on her one-woman play about a twentysomething (also named Fleabag) who deals with past trauma through sex, alcohol, and banter. Even the smallest comedic moments—feeling embarrassed about buying extra-large tampons, for example—make you think, “Damn, she gets it.”

The weightier topics, like sexual harassment to grief, are heartbreaking and raw without ever losing sight of the show’s comedic roots. Season two, now streaming, drops one of these scenes right in the middle of episode one. It made stomach drop so much I had pause and take a break before I could finish the episode. (Caution: Spoilers start here.)

It all starts with an awkward family dinner to celebrate the impending marriage of Fleabag’s father to her narcissistic stepmother. Fleabag is surprised when her sister, Claire (Sian Clifford), reveals that she and her toad of a husband have been trying for a baby. At one point in the meal, Claire quietly excuses herself and goes to the bathroom. Fleabag joins a few minutes later—where she discovers Claire has just had a miscarriage.

Claire brushes it off at first, insisting she’s fine and doesn’t need to go to a hospital. When Fleabag tries to enter the stall to help, though, she gets emotional. “No, just get your hands off my miscarriage,” she growls. Then anguish: “It’s mine. It’s mine.”

On any other show or movie, this story might have been treated as a Very Special Episode; on Fleabag, Claire cleans herself up and goes back to the dinner table like nothing happened.

While I have not experienced a miscarriage myself, I can recognize how rare it is to see it portrayed this way in pop culture. If a miscarriage is shown at all, it’s often set to sad acoustic music or otherwise overly dramatized. Not something that happens in five-star restaurant’s bathroom. But the truth is that this happens to so many women, anywhere and at any time. So why is it never shown?

“I feel like there’s so many things in the world that people don’t talk about, and a lot of them are women’s experiences. That’s the sad truth,” Waller-Bridge tells Glamour. “I think when it’s been depicted—from friends of mine who have experienced that—it hasn’t felt particularly real.”

Fleabag and Claire later on in season two.

Courtesy of Amazon Prime

Originally, Waller-Bridge says, she planned to write a new character who experiences a miscarriage into the show. As she went deeper into writing the season, though, she realized this was Claire’s story to tell. “It broke my heart when I was writing it,” she explains. “I think it’s the last thing you’d expect Claire to be up to, trying to get pregnant in the first place. It just showed such a deeper level to that character.”

After she finished writing the scene she wondered why it felt so familiar—and then realized a similar experience had happened to a friend and she had subconsciously put it into the show. “I called her and said, ‘Oh my God, I think I’ve taken a part of your life.’ But she was so thrilled that it would be depicted like that,” Waller-Bridge says. “Because the truth of it happening in the middle of a dinner…it’s a very female instinct to just pull yourself back up. Just get on with it. I thought that said so much about how women operate in the world.”



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Hilaria Baldwin: Why I Shared My Miscarriage in Real Time


Last week Hilaria Baldwin, author, yoga instructor, and wife to Alec Baldwin, revealed on Instagram that she was likely having a miscarriage of her fifth pregnancy. Her post went viral, racking up more than 100,000 likes as she invited thousands of comments from people inspired to share their own stories of pregnancy loss. Here Baldwin opens up to Glamour exclusively about why she hopes sharing such a private moment—as it happens—will help drown out the stigma surrounding miscarriage.

When my husband and I found out I was pregnant for the fifth time, we hadn’t been actively trying, but we knew we wanted one more baby. Our youngest is only 10 months old, so at first there was a moment of Oh my God, we’re doing this again?! But then came the excitement. I found out my due date; my body began changing and I started dreaming: Will it be a boy or a girl? What will we name him or her?

Then, sometime before 10 weeks, I went in for an ultrasound. I know my technician so well—I’ve had four children under her care—but at this appointment she was silent. Every hopeful pregnant woman dreads this silence. She listened to the heartbeat again and again, taking new measurements, not really saying anything. I’m sure it was simply minutes, but it felt like an eternity.

And I just knew: Oh no, something is wrong.

The heartbeat was too slow for a healthy pregnancy, so she told me to come back in a week for another scan to see whether things improved. I heard the che-goom, che-goom, che-goom of the heartbeat, hopeful that it sounded faster than last time. “I can’t lie to you,” she said. “It’s not.” The embryo does not seem to be growing.

With pregnancy, you’re trained not to say anything about it for 12 weeks—the first trimester—when the risk of miscarriage is the highest. There’s superstition, but there’s also the fear that you might do something wrong and lose the baby. And that if you lose the baby, people are going to blame you, for eating the wrong way, for sleeping on the wrong side, for exercising too much or too little…the list goes on.

But this is exhausting, especially if you’re dealing with terrible morning sickness and presumptuous questions about why you aren’t drinking. I had already decided that if I got pregnant again, I would share the news right away. I’ve had so many talks with my girlfriends who either have had children or tried to have children, and just realized these first three months are really difficult and scary for a lot of women. It felt silly not to share—even if that meant sharing a loss.

Even before I got pregnant, I thought about what it would be like to have to share news like this. Having a miscarriage would hurt if I went through it in silence and it would hurt if I lost the pregnancy in front of everybody, I realized. At least sharing my story might help me and other women dealing with a miscarriage to find support.

Pregnancy loss is a topic that touches almost everyone—10 to 25 percent of all known pregnancies end in miscarriage. I’m not surprised at how common they are. Almost every single one of my friends has experienced some kind of struggle with infertility or miscarriage. I had such a fear of miscarriage with each of my pregnancies that I’d google the probability of miscarriage each day. And yet we’re still so quiet about it. For me, this doesn’t make sense. I understand why some women choose to keep this pain private, but it’s such a personal thing—some people need to process the loss on their own, and others need to process it more publicly. Women deserve to have the option to do whatever they need to heal.



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Hilaria Baldwin Just Shared She Is ‘Most Likely Experiencing a Miscarriage’


Hilaria Baldwin, author, cohost of Mom Brain, and wife to Alec Baldwin, just shared an extremely personal post on Instagram revealing that she’s likely currently experiencing a miscarriage.

“This is what is going on now: The embryo has a heartbeat, but it isn’t strong, and the baby isn’t growing very much,” the 35-year-old mother of four wrote. “So we wait—and this is hard. So much uncertainty…but the chances are very, very small that this is a viable pregnancy.”

To share such an incredibly difficult, private moment, especially as it’s currently in the process of happening, is remarkable. “There is so much secrecy during the first trimester. This works for some, but I personally find it to be exhausting. I’m nauseous, tired, my body is changing. And I have to pretend that everything is just fine—and it truly isn’t,” she wrote. “I don’t want to have to pretend anymore.”

Many women choose to keep their pregnancy quiet until after the first trimester precisely because miscarriage is so common. Anywhere from 10 to 25 percent of all known pregnancies end in a miscarriage, according to the American Pregnancy Association. And that number doesn’t even account for miscarriages that happen before a woman even realizes she’s pregnant.

“I always promised myself that if I were to get pregnant again, I would share the news with you guys pretty early, even if that means suffering a public loss,” Baldwin wrote. “I think it’s important to show the truth…because my job is to help people by being real and open,” she continued. “I have no shame or embarrassment with this experience. I want to be a part of the effort to normalize miscarriage and remove the stigma from it. I’m hoping, that by sharing this, I can contribute to raising awareness about this sensitive topic.”



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Shay Mitchell Opened Up About Her Miscarriage: It Was One of 'My Darkest Days'


At the end of each year, it’s typical for people to post a highlight reel from the past 12 months on social media. Actress Shay Mitchell decided to share not only the good—the business launch, the travel, the friends—but also the painful, like how in 2018, she suffered a miscarriage.

“Although it was an amazing year, it didn’t come without some hardships,” Mitchell wrote on her Instagram Story on Tuesday, before sharing an image of a sonogram with a broken heart over it.

“We all have to deal with various struggles and challenges in life,” the following slide read. “And sometimes it’s easier to only showcase the good times on social media, which is what leads many people to criticize it for its lack of authenticity. Having so many people follow me on Instagram and read my posts is both incredibly humbling and hugely uplifting. The support and affection that so many of you show me lifts me up during even my darkest days, one of which happened last year after I miscarried and lost the child of my hopes and dreams.”

Mitchell decided to share her experience with miscarriage, she explained, in order to encourage compassion on social media, as well as an understanding that people only share a fraction of what they’re going through personally.

“In the spirt of the new year, I think that we need to remember that we are all on this journey together—in good times and in bad—and to remind ourselves that we seldom really know or understand the struggles and hardships that other people are going through,” Mitchell wrote. “So, for 2019, let’s all try to be a little more compassionate, empathetic, patient and thoughtful with each other. This sounds like a great resolution to me. I hope that you agree. Happy New Year everyone.”

In recent years, more celebrities have opened up about their experiences with miscarriages, shining light on a still-under-discussed and painful subject. Former First Lady Michelle Obama wrote about one she suffered in her thirties in her memoir Becoming; Carrie Underwood has also shared her experiences with multiple miscarriages.

After Mitchell posted her Instagram Story, fans began to show support for the actress on social media, with the hashtag #AlwaysWithYouShay.

Mitchell later tweeted: “Here we go 2019, I am so, so ready for you.”

Related Stories:

Shay Mitchell Had a ‘Terrifying’ Experience Showing Us the Last Calls and Pics on Her Phone

Carrie Underwood Powerfully Opens Up About Struggling With Multiple Miscarriages

Michelle Obama Reveals She Had a Miscarriage and Underwent IVF





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Michelle Obama Reveals She Had a Miscarriage and Underwent IVF With Both Daughters


In her new memoir, Becoming, Michelle Obama reveals that she suffered a miscarriage in her 30s and experienced fertility issues while trying to have children with her husband, former president Barack Obama. Ultimately, the couple conceived their daughters, Sasha and Malia, through in vitro fertilization—something Michelle dealt with largely on her own as Barack was away serving the state legislature. As the former First Lady details in her book, she had to administer the shots that are a part of in vitro fertilization many times herself.

Michelle opened up more about this experience to Robin Roberts on Good Morning America Friday (November 9). “I felt like I failed because I didn’t know how common miscarriages were because we don’t talk about them,” she said. “We sit in our own pain, thinking that somehow we’re broken.”

She continued, “That’s one of the reasons why I think it’s important to talk to young mothers about the fact that miscarriages happen.”

In the interview, Michelle says she realized the “biological clock is real” around age 34 or 35 and that “egg production is limited.” “We had to do IVF,” Michelle told Roberts.

Ultimately, Michelle hopes opening up about her struggles will help other women going through similar experiences. “I think it’s the worst thing that we do to each other as women, not share the truth about our bodies and how they work,” she said.

Becoming will hit bookstores and E-reader platforms everywhere on Tuesday, November 13. Click here to look at tickets for Michelle’s upcoming book tour in support of the project.

Related Stories:

Michelle Obama Is Back and Doing What She Does Best—Standing Up for Girls

Barack Obama Celebrates 26 Years of Marriage to Michelle Obama With a Sweet Instagram Post

Michelle Obama Is Selling Out Arenas for Her Book Tour—And Tickets Cost as Much as $3,000





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A Walgreens Pharmacist Refused to Fill a Woman's Prescription to Induce Miscarriage. And It Was Legal.


An Arizona woman left a Peoria, Arizona, Walgreens pharmacy in tears last Wednesday after she was denied medication to induce miscarriage prescribed by her doctor following news of her unviable pregnancy. Now the incident, which hit on the most sensitive and controversial issues surrounding women’s reproductive rights, is also bringing up another issue—is it legal to deny someone a prescription based on moral objection?

That woman, Nicole Arteaga, posted a now viral Facebook status that has shined a light on a Walgreens policy that many were unaware of before this weekend.

Arteaga, a pregnant teacher in Peoria, took to Facebook on Friday to describe the disbelief she felt when she was denied her prescription at a local Walgreens pharmacy. (The post has now been shared over 34,000 times.) “This post isn’t something I generally do, but last night I experienced something no women should ever have to go thru especially under these circumstances or any other circumstances,” she wrote.

Arteaga then went on to describe how she found herself at the pharmacy, explaining that her doctor discovered her fetus was no longer developing and a miscarriage would ultimately occur. Her physician gave her the option of a D&C (the dilation and curettage surgical procedure) or a prescription medication. Arteaga opted for the prescription.

“Last night I went to pick up my medication at my local Walgreens only to be denied the prescription I need. I stood at the mercy of this pharmacist explaining my situation in front of my 7 year old, and five customers standing behind only to be denied because of his ethical beliefs,” she wrote on Facebook. “I get it we all have our beliefs. But what he failed to understand is this isn’t the situation I had hoped for, this isn’t something I wanted…If you have gone thru a miscarriage you know the pain and emotional roller it can be. I left Walgreens in tears, ashamed and feeling humiliated by a man who knows nothing of my struggles but feels it is his right to deny medication prescribed to me by my doctor. I am unsure where Walgreens draws the lines with their pharmacist but does this mean he denies women the right to birth control and morning after pill, and what’s the stance with fertility drugs.”

Arteaga was eventually able to pick up her prescription at another Walgreens location without incident.

Walgreens told Glamour in a statement: “After learning what happened, we reached out to the patient and apologized for how the situation was handled. To respect the sincerely held beliefs of our pharmacists while at the same time meeting the needs of our patients, our policy allows pharmacists to step away from filling a prescription for which they have a moral objection. At the same time, they are also required to refer the prescription to another pharmacist or manager on duty to meet the patient’s needs in a timely manner. We are looking into the matter to ensure that our patients’ needs are handled properly.”

According to the National Women’s Law Center, this right of refusal is actually legal under Arizona state law, as it is one of six states that has “laws or regulations that specifically allow pharmacies or pharmacists to refuse for religious or moral reasons without critical protections for patients, such as requirements to refer or transfer prescriptions.”

The others are Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Mississippi, and South Dakota.

Only eight states have laws that explicitly require pharmacists or pharmacies to provide medication to patients: California, Illinois, Maine, Massachusetts, Nevada, New Jersey, Washington, and Wisconsin.

The online conversation surrounding the incident—and Walgreens’ policy—led many to point out that this is an issue that almost only affects women.

The debate around Arteaga’s ordeal comes at a time when refusal of service is all over the news—from the Supreme Court ruling on the Colorado baker case to press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ tweet this weekend about a restaurant’s asking her to leave because of her position in the Trump administration.

Of course, these three things are not equivalent, but the responses to each are certainly indicative of the divided state of the union.

Glamour has reached out to CVS and Rite-Aid pharmacies to inquire about corporate policies surrounding a pharmacist’s right to refuse customer prescriptions. We have yet to receive a response.





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