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Too Hot to Handle Is Basically Love Island With No Touching


Perfect for people craving content adjacent to Love Is Blind and Bachelor in Paradise, Netflix’s latest reality show, Too Hot to Handle, centers on a group of young, hot singles who move to a resort and are tasked with forging deep, romantic connections. A $100,000 cash prize is waiting for them if they succeed.

But here’s the catch: They’re not allowed to have any sexual contact with each other. Any kissing, fondling, or actual sex results in a decrease in the prize money. Wild, right? It takes all the best elements of Love Is Blind and Bachelor in Paradise and amplifies them.

There’s another show Too Hot to Handle will remind you of, too: Love Island, the British reality dating series about hot singles who spend an entire summer coupling up with other hot singles in hopes of emerging as the audience’s favorite duo. If you even casually know what Love Island is, you’ll see the comparisons to Too Hot to Handle easily. If not, allow me explain—and after you finish Too Hot to Handle, give Love Island a spin. I promise you’ll be just as hooked.

The setting

The mega-mansions that house the contestants in each of these shows are just as important as the people themselves. They are similar in style, both with gathering areas, fire pits, getting-ready pods, and huge pools. All the daters sleep in a single room with multiple beds, which means it’s very difficult to get away with…you know, doing things. On Love Island, they just don’t care and do it anyway. On Too Hot to Handle, they literally can’t without breaking the rules.

The snarky narrators

The best part of Love Island is arguably the narrator, Iain Stirling, whose shady commentary grounds the hot-people problems of the show in some kind of reality. The same thing applies to Too Hot to Handle, courtesy of a delightfully sarcastic female narrator who doesn’t let any of the ridiculous things the cast does go by without some comment. When she rags on Haley for thinking the word “loophole” meant “silver lining,” or when Chloe congratulated herself for saying “animosity?” I died.

Dates

One-on-one dates on Love Island and Too Hot to Handle don’t happen consistently, like they do in Bachelor Nation. They’re sporadic and impromptu—and both daters don’t know about them until minutes before. The dates on these shows also aren’t extravagant like they are on The Bachelor. They happen in hot tubs or on blankets by the beach. Nothing fancy, but arguably more intimate than anything we’ve seen on any Bachelor show.

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The gathering spot.

In both Love Island and Too Hot to Handle, there’s a spot where the collective group meets for big announcements: a fire pit. It’s here where the hosts typically drop major bombshells, like cast eliminations on Love Island or if the group has lost money on Too Hot to Handle. In the latter’s case, it’s even funnier because the host is a talking, Alexa-like robot named Lana.

The introduction of new housemates.

These shows each do a good job at bringing new cast members in to shake up the state of the union. On Love Island, it’s to break up or challenge existing couples. On Too Hot to Handle, it’s similar, but mostly it’s to see if a new person may tempt someone to break the no-hooking up rule.

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The dress code

Everyone is in swimsuits 98% of the time. During the other 2%, they’re wearing Instagram influencer-ready evening wear, which is funny because….who are they dressing up for? I’ve always wondered this on Love Island, and I had the same confusion during Too Hot to Handle. I understand it’s a TV show, but the pomp and circumstance of it all is not lost on me.

The cast of Too Hot to Handle. 

Aline Arruda/Netflix

And last but not least: The conceit of the show

While the methods of the programs differ, the goal is to same: to find a true romantic relationship that stands on solid ground, and then see how money plays into that. Both shows offer the promise of a cash prize if you find true love. What happens after that, though, is anyone’s game.

Too Hot to Handle is now streaming on Netflix



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Netflix’s ‘Too Hot to Handle’ Review: This Is the Funniest, Least Sexy Reality Show About Sex


If I found myself cringing every time some shirtless and bikini-clad contestant on Too Hot to Handle kissed, it wasn’t because of their awkward “banter” or even the fact that they were throwing away thousands of dollars for the privilege. It was undoubtedly because I watched the Netflix reality dating series deep into quarantine, where even the idea of shaking someone’s hand was already out of the question.

Despite the almost other-worldly effect this had on my viewing experience, there’s something inherently now and inevitable about this show. Centered around a group of 20-something hots, the Too Hot to Handle retreat is governed by an A.I. cone named LANA who puts the contestants through various challenges, sends them on dates, and punishes them if they fail to remain chaste: that means no kissing, no sex, and no masturbating if they want to win $100,000 at the end of the retreat. When any of the contestants breaks the rules (and yes, they do…a lot) she calls them out in front of everyone and brings the pot down based on the infraction.

“[A.I.] is literally everywhere around us. It’s kind of governing us, it’s taking over,” showrunner and executive producer Viki Kolar tells me over the phone on a group call with Jonno Richards, the show’s executive producer and managing director of Talkback, the production company behind Too Hot To Handle.

“You’re used to hearing A.I. in terms of algorithms and research and listening and advice,” Richards agrees. “It just sort of all kind of fitted together.”

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However, despite the LANA of it all, there’s actually not a lot of proven psychology behind the Too Hot to Handle method of building stronger, healthier relationships by abstaining from sex…but that was never really the main point of the series. In fact, the idea for this social experiment, as Richards repeatedly calls it, started from an episode of Seinfeld called “The Bet,” where each character competes to see if they can avoid masturbating. Spoiler alert: They all fail, not unlike some of Too Hot to Handle’s contestants.

“We wanted to do something that was funny while it was a reality show,” Richards says. “You put obstacles in people’s way and push their buttons in a way that could be comedic, but at the same time are trying to help them come together through that. A sort of romantic comedy, I guess, is what we’re trying to get to.” They definitely got the comedy part down. Aside from the relationships and friendships that form between this group of players—and there is at least one couple that becomes genuinely ship-worthy—this show is just damn funny.

I don’t know if it’s the number of times the word horny was said within each episode, the blinking, judgmental robot, or the socially stunted contestants that make the show so gleefully addictive. Every single confessional with Francesca, Harry, Haley, Matthew, Sharron, Rhonda, Chloe, Kelz, Nicole, and David borders on parody, making it clear they’re at least somewhat in on the joke and it’s okay to laugh. For example, Kolar tells me that Sharron wore a brace on his leg on the flight over to Mexico just to get through security faster. “He’s that type of person that comes up with insane kind of ways of just getting through life,” she says. “I was like, ‘I love him even more.’” Shockingly, you might find yourself rooting for these people too.

Still, maybe it’s narrator Desiree Burch that sets the show apart from similar reality TV series on Netflix and beyond. The voice-over non-host who seems to serve as the audience, chatting throughout the series as if she’s next to you on the couch, is honestly a great perk in the time of social distancing. She’s not always nice about the singles, but she’s always on point.

All I can truly say with conviction is that if Netflix has been using its own algorithm and data to build the most hilarious, binge-able reality dating show, they’ve succeeded with Too Hot to Handle and should probably stop now before they truly go off the rails.

Stream Too Hot to Handle on Netflix, here.

Emily Tannenbaum is a contributing writer and weekend editor at Glamour. Follow her on Twitter.





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How to Handle Mismatched Libidos, According to a Neuroscientist


As a sex therapist, relationship expert, and neuroscientist who studies sex and the brain, I get tons of questions about how to deal with a sex life that no longer sizzles. Here’s the secret: The biggest issue that stalls a sex life after the honeymoon glow of new relationship energy (NRE) wears off boils down to one basic problem: a simple difference in libido.

What I mean by libido is way more complicated than a high or low sex drive. In a recent column, I explained that sexual desire comes in different forms. We can have active desire, when we feel “horny” and have the urge to merge. Increasing your active desire can be as simple as whipping out a vibrator and tuning into your own arousal. But there’s also responsive desire that lurks below the surface and can be jump started by romantic wooing or physical stimulation.

Your Sex Drive Horoscope

Beyond active and responsive desire, there’s another important factor that shapes our libidos. I call this our unique erotic “love styles,” which include both what turns us on and how we like to have sex.

It’s important is honor your own erotic love style while respecting your partner’s. The key to this is understanding how your styles intersect. Think of it like your sex drive horoscope—some love-styles mesh easily, while others might seem mismatched. Understanding our partner’s needs and wants as well as our own can empower ways to build bridges between different styles and provide good fuel to keep your sex drive alive.

Over 30 years of working with couples, I’ve identified seven main love styles. You may find yourself in more than category, depending on your mood or current situation.

The Soulful Lover

Likes eye gazing, romance, and tender lovemaking. They’re the touchy-feely type of lover, enjoying contact and closeness above all. Soulful Lovers tend to be allergic to partners who are more fixated on intensity. For the Soulful Lover, wild and crazy sex may be less satisfying than sex that’s primarily about connection.

The Rough and Tumble Lover

Feels it isn’t sex unless some furniture goes flying. They tend to have high set points of active desire which makes them a bit on the randy side. Because sex for them is more like an athletic event, they don’t often mesh well with a Soulful Lover who needs things gentle, warm and fuzzy.

The Needy Lover

Is needy in general, not just in terms of sex. Because they focus on their own experience, their partners might feel “used” as a form of stress relief. The Giver (see below) and the Soulful Lover might not mind fulfilling this function if the needy partner stays present and isn’t just concerned about getting his or her rocks off. A Rough and Tumble hot sex lover might enjoy this kind of partner because the Needy Lover’s need to connect might make them willing to dial up the intensity of sex as a sport.

The Giver

Gets turned on by giving their partners pleasure. Their turn-on is literally the partner’s turn-on. These lovers can be an absolute delight for individuals with tons of turn-ons to share. These people aren’t going to mesh well with lovers who have trouble with arousal or generally low levels of spontaneous or responsive desire. And having two “Givers” as partners might end up as an impasse while each awaits the other’s turn- on.

The Anxious Lover

Can be so incapacitated by performance anxiety that self-consciousness squashes sexual desire period. This proves to be more of a problem for men since they’re often expected to initiate sex and perform. As the NRE bump declines, the Anxious Lover feels loss when their partner may not be so insistent in pursuing them. The self-doubt, worry, and self-consciousness tend to build, making them a tough match for any but the most patient Soulful Lover or most enthusiastic Explorer (see below).

The Low Sex Driver

Typically has a low baseline of desire—regardless of circumstances. NRE may bump up sexual appetite which makes for a satisfying honeymoon period. If the Low Sex Driver gets into a long-term relationship with an individual with a high sex drive (like the Explorer, see below), the responsive sex drive in the Low Sex Driver might be sufficient to keep the sex life alive. Otherwise, this kind of person is a tough match for any other erotic love-style except of course another Low Sex Driver.

The Explorer

Is someone unconstrained by norms and not only willing to explore sexuality in all sorts of ways but often requiring intensity and novelty. Some may think of Explorers as “kinky.” The Explorer is simply someone who enjoys tons of new sex activities as play and experimentation. Explorers can range from the toe dipper to the major full tilt arctic adventurer. They may not mesh well with Soulful Lovers who need sex to be gentle and predictable or Anxious Lovers who find it all too scary.



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Netflix's Too Hot to Handle Will Be the Next Love Is Blind


If there’s been a hole in your heart since Love Is Blind ended, I have a surprise: Netflix is dropping a new show, Too Hot to Handle, and it has serious shades of the blind-dating reality series that took the internet by storm.

And by that, I mean this new show is also of the reality variety and centers on a bunch of really hot people making really bad decisions. The premise of Too Hot to Handle is simple: A group of sexy singles move into a house together with a chance to win $100,000. But here’s the catch: They can’t have any sexual contact with one another. No hooking up, no kissing, no nothing. Every time they break this rule, the prize money amount drops. Think of it like your debit card balance after a wild night out. Every subtraction you see just represents a dumb decision you could’ve avoided.

Check out the trailer for Too Hot to Handle for yourself, below:

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“Your next reality dating obsession has arrived,” Netflix wrote about the show in an official description. “Too Hot to Handle puts to the test whether these hot singletons can find emotional connection without the sex. On the shores of paradise, gorgeous singles meet and mingle. But there’s a twist. To win a $100,000 grand prize, they’ll have to give up sex.”

This show is honestly the perfect mix of so many reality classics. You have the beachy vibes of Bachelor in Paradise and Love Island, the camera style of Big Brother, the competition element of The Challenge, and the soapy drama of…all those shows. I was starting to run out of things to watch during quarantine, so Netflix really came through on this one. How soon do you think the prize money will start dropping? You’ll have to watch and see, but I predict…quickly.

Too Hot to Handle premieres on Netflix April 17.



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Brad Pitt Wore a Name Tag to an Event, and People Can’t Handle It


There’s a small list of people in this universe who don’t need a name tag for strangers to identify them: Oprah, Santa Claus, Madonna, Left Shark. Also on that list is Brad Pitt—which is why it’s hilarious he wore a literal name tag to the Oscars luncheon in Los Angeles on Monday, January 27.

To be fair, all the Oscar nominees who attend are given name tags, but something about Brad Pitt—Brad! Pitt!—wearing a name tag is too good. He’s not just an actor, but a part of society’s very fabric. He’s as big a cultural institution as McDonald’s and Apple and sneaking alcohol into the movie theater. As one fan accurately put it on Twitter, even squirrels know who Brad Pitt is.

And yet the Once Upon a Time in Hollywood actor opted to put his on for the luncheon. The photos, naturally, are incredible. “Hi. My name is Brad Pitt,” I picture him saying to luncheon-goers, pointing to his name tag enthusiastically. The whole thing is delightfully earnest. Honestly, give Pitt’s name tag an Academy Award right alongside the best supporting actor trophy he’ll no doubt win come February 9.

Here are just a few photos of actor Cynthia Erivo (who’s also an Oscar nominee this year) chatting with Pitt and his cute name tag:

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US actor Brad Pitt talks with British actress Cynthia Erivo during the 2020 Oscars Nominees Luncheon at the Dolby...
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“Did they spell my name right?” Pitt asks Erivo in my imagination, to which she just says, “Um, yeah.”

Cynthia Erivo and Brad Pitt attend the 92nd Oscars Nominees Luncheon on January 27 2020 in Hollywood California.
Kevork Djansezian
Cynthia Erivo and Brad Pitt attend the 92nd Oscars Nominees Luncheon on January 27 2020 in Hollywood California.
Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

I’m sorry, Brad Pitt just can’t seriously appear on a name tag. Brad Pitt is what you wrote on your high-school-orientation name tag as a joke.

British actress Cynthia Erivo US actor Brad Pitt and Academy CEO Dawn Hudson pose during the 2020 Oscars Nominees...
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US actor Brad Pitt signs a poster during the 2020 Oscars Nominees Luncheon at the Dolby theatre in Hollywood on January...
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“Imagine meeting Brad Pitt—and he’s wearing a name tag, identifying him as ‘Brad Pitt,’” one person joked on Twitter. Another said, “I hope Brad Pitt wears a name tag to the #Oscars.”

Read some more reactions, below.

Thank you for this gift, Oscars luncheon planners.



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Even Bryce Dallas Howard Couldn’t Handle the Most Heartbreaking Scene in ‘Rocketman’


There’s a moment from the new Elton John biopic, Rocketman, that I can’t get out of my head. It’s when Elton (Taron Egerton) comes out to his mother, Sheila (Bryce Dallas Howard), via a phone-booth call just minutes before performing at Royal Albert Hall. Sheila’s response is less than enthusiastic: She tells her son—now a global pop icon—that she’s always known his sexuality, and he’s “choosing” a life of loneliness.

As a gay man myself, it’s a hard scene to watch. I was fortunate enough to have a positive coming-out experience, but I know all too well this isn’t the case for everyone. Realizing that even Elton John, someone who paved the way for many LGBTQ+ people, had a painful coming-out journey is a reminder that no one is safe from homophobia. Even now. My friends who have had similar conversations with their families are proof of that.

The weight of this moment wasn’t lost on Bryce Dallas Howard, who talked to several people about their coming-out stories to prepare. And when the scene finally wrapped, she was relieved. “It’s not fun, something like that,” she tells Glamour. “So we did it with just a small number of takes and got that pretty quickly.”

It’s a quick moment, sure, but a powerful one. Not only does it inform so much of what Elton does in the movie; it crystallizes Sheila’s character: This is a woman whose profound unhappiness with her own life prevented her from being the mom she needed to be. That’s Rocketman‘s interpretation, at least. I’m sure the real-life Sheila, who passed away in December 2017, had her own viewpoint on things.

Bryce Dallas Howard as Elton John’s mother, Sheila, in Rocketman

David Appleby / © Paramount / Courtesy Everett Collection

“I feel like sometimes in life—and certainly in movies—we look at people in a very binary way; they’re either good or they’re bad,” Howard says. “And the truth is everyone is normally a little bit of both. And in the case of Sheila, she’s someone who had a very big personality, was extremely charismatic, witty, funny—but then also was a very unhappy person. As a result, she was able to inflict a lot of damage.”

How Sheila reacts to Elton’s sexuality is, hypothetically, enough for viewers to write her off as “bad,” but Howard’s performance ensures this doesn’t happen. “It was important to not just go pure villain and yet also paint a picture of ‘Yeah, this was not a happy childhood.'”

When we meet Sheila, she’s lively and energetic but harboring a lot of frustration. She’s unsatisfied with her marriage to Elton’s father, Stanley, who ultimately leaves her to start another family. Sheila eventually remarries too, but the movie paints her as never fully recovering from Stanley’s indiscretions. That’s why I think she responds to Elton’s coming-out in the way she does: If she doesn’t have a positive outlook on her own relationships, it’d be hard to have one on Elton’s.

This dynamic illuminated something important to Howard about her actual life as a mom. (She has two children with her husband, actor Seth Gabel.) “It’s a healthy reminder, as a parent, to see what the impact can be on a child when the parent is perpetually unhappy and they’re not managing their own mental well-being,” she says. “How that can snowball into a dynamic that is very difficult to extricate yourself from. Kind words—they go far within a family.”

Tom Bennett Bryce Dallas Howard and Gemma Jones in 2019's Rocketman.

Tom Bennett plays Sheila’s second husband in Rocketman, while Gemma Jones plays her mother.

David Appleby / © Paramount / Courtesy Everett Collection

Kind words and an open mind. Two things Sheila didn’t have with Elton—in this fictionalized version of his life, at least—but Howard has with her kids. “My children get revealed to me over time,” she says. “Just because I’ve happened to know them since they were born doesn’t mean I know everything about them. Make space for that, as well, to be surprised—to be taken on an adventure by your child. To go places and in directions and explore things you never thought you would. But it’s because this person is in your life, and you’re connected to them forever.”



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