Tag: Advice

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Watch 'Stranger Things' Stars Joe Keery and Gaten Matarazzo Give Love Advice


Now that Stranger Things has officially been renewed for season three, it’s time to kick those fan theories into high gear—namely, anything having to do with Steve and Dustin. The duo charmed our hearts in ways we never expected, and that friendship extended off-screen as well between co-stars Joe Keery and Gaten Matarazzo. In person, they finish each other’s sentences in person and have in-depth conversations about almost everything. (For instance, thinking about changing your name to “Taco?” Yep, they have deep thoughts on that.) So when we had them come to our Glamour Los Angeles office to play a game of “Live Life Advice,” the two were more than ready to play therapist and reveal more about themselves in the process. Watch the video, above, and then read on for five amazing things we learned about Joe and Gaten.

1. Gaten knows the perfect ’80s love song. When a Twitter user asked the guys to recommend a really cool song to sing to her girlfriend, Gaten first offered up some early Justin Bieber, before randomly bursting out the lyrics to Foreigner’s 1984 hit, “I Want to Know What Love Is.” Yes, Gaten stars on the ’80s-set Stranger Things, but since he’s only 15 years old that knowledge had to come from somewhere, right? “My parents!” Gaten says. “They always have it play on the radio, so that’s what we’d all listen to.” Note to Duffer Bros: If you guys don’t find a way to incorporate karaoke for Dustin in season three, it’ll be a lost opportunity for all of us.

2. Gaten and Joe Keery love talking about their hair. Dustin/Gaten and Steve/Joe both have an amazing head of hair, but you’ll be comforted to know that they talk about it as much as you hope they do. Take this exchange for example:

Joe: I’ve had so many bad haircuts.
Gaten: I had a horrific haircut. This guy gave me a mullet. It was honestly no business in the front, so I wore a lot of hats.
Joe: [So our advice to anyone who wants to know what to do about a bad haircut is] just don’t get a haircut. Or wear a hat.

After the cameras stopped rolling, Joe commented that Gaten just got a haircut and noted, “it’s already grown back so fast.” Gaten confirmed Joe’s timeline and said, “Yeah, I just got a haircut about a month ago, and it’s already growing back so fast.” Naturally, talk then turned to Joe’s hair (I mean, even co-star David Harbour’s Instagram account is dedicated to Joe and his hair), with Joe noting that “I gotta get a haircut soon.”

3. They agree on the three qualities most attractive in other people. As if we needed more proof why Joe and Gaten are national treasures, then consider this: When a Twitter user asked them about the most attractive thing about a girl, they answered in unison: “Sense of humor, intelligence, and kindness.” (Word of advice: If you want to really make them laugh, sneeze the loudest you ever have—as I did at the beginning of their video—and watch them lose it. True story.)

4. Gaten is wise beyond his years when it comes to dating etiquette. Whether Gaten has been on one date, no dates, or a bunch at this point, one thing is for sure: He knows what he’s talking about. When asked about how to be likable, Gaten had the perfect response: “Talk to people. Ask about their day.” And what about who should pay on a date? While Gaten admitted that’s something he would prefer to do, he noted that he was always taught “whoever asks the person on the date should be the person that pays.” Joe, meanwhile, could use some help. “I have no idea. I’ve never been on date.” (Suuuure, buddy.)

5. Joe is a Polaroid bandit. In our Glamour L.A. office, we have a photo wall with fun polaroids of everyone who comes in to visit. So before Joe and Gaten arrived, I placed the camera in a hidden spot in the green room (that way no one would start snapping pictures without asking first). Of course, somehow in the five minutes I stepped out of the room, Joe found the camera—and did just that. Good thing we didn’t run out of film for Gaten! But who could be upset with someone like Joe? He’s as nice as he seems and offers up these words of wisdom when a fan asks how to get over heartbreak: “You just gotta live your life and do it your way.” Keep doing you, Joe. Even if you’re using up all my film.

PHOTO: Jessica Radloff/Joe Keery



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Scott Disick Says Khloé Kardashian Doesn't Need His Parenting Advice


The Kardashian-Jenner clan broke the Internet for the billionth time last month when several outlets reported Khloé Kardashian and Kylie Jenner are pregnant. Granted, this news still hasn’t been confirmed by Khloé or Kylie themselves; Kylie hasn’t said anything about it, and the only thing Khloé’s done is shut down social media chatter about a certain “baby bump” photo. In fact, most of the family has remained tight-lipped about these reports; sure, Kim Kardashian dismissed a few stories adjacent to these pregnancies, but no one has directly addressed the idea of Khloé or Kylie becoming mothers.

Well, until now. E! News caught up with Kourtney Kardashian’s ex, Scott Disick, over the weekend and asked him if he has any advice for Khloé about raising a baby. Here’s what he said:

“Well, if she ever asks I’m sure I would try. But I feel like all of
us are so close that all of our children are kind of brought up in the
same vicinity, or one block over, that everybody’s kind of there for
each other, I don’t really need to give advice per se because, we are
right there. It’s not like long-distance, ‘Hey, maybe you should try
this?’ Everybody so hands-on that I feel like it will happen within
time. So no real advice in that sense.”

It’s a vague answer, but notice how he doesn’t deny that Khloé is expecting. Of course, it’s possible he’s speaking in a completely hypothetical scenario. E! News could’ve just been asking, innocuously, if Scott has any advice for Khloé if and when she decides to become a mom.

But that would be…strange. Asking Scott a question about Khloé raising children is very random if that’s not in her immediate future. If Khloé isn’t planning to raise a child any time soon, why wouldn’t Scott just say that as opposed to this ambiguous nonsense? It’s essentially a non-confirmation confirmation.

Obviously, let’s wait until Khloé or Kylie comments to get truly excited. However, Scott’s quote is certainly a good indication that the Kardashian-Jenner family is expanding.

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Bella Thorne Opens Up About Those Scott Disick Relationship Rumors



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Love Advice We Wish We Had Growing Up


I’ve always known if anything killed me, it would be boys. From the time I was a teenager into my thirties, I loved only the ones who were bad news. There was the abusive drunk I escaped by climbing out of a ­second-floor window in my underwear and hiding in the trash can below. The insanely cute drug addict who lived in a U-Haul and had another girlfriend on the side. By age 19 I was married to a high-profile, much older musician and was mother to a baby girl. Since then I’ve been divorced, been a cheater, been cheated on, gotten happily remarried, and raised a couple of great kids. Along the way, love and obsession have beaten my ass to a bloody pulp many times. Here’s what I’ve learned from my adventures—hopefully, my hard-earned insights will be helpful in some way. Let’s start with the basics…

Learn to love your own body. Long before we have sex with anyone, we need to be comfortable having sex with ourselves—yet so few of us are. One of the earliest messages women get is to never talk about their genitals or sexuality, especially when it comes to masturbation. But boys have a million words for the act and talk about it endlessly. There are far fewer words for female masturbation, and they’re pretty unappealing. Paddling the pink canoe? Flicking the bean? That’s not something I want to do to my vagina. So get intimate with yourself. If you don’t know you, you can’t expect anyone else to.

Know this: A one-night stand is not a bad thing. Although my story isn’t that unusual, the first time I had sex, there was no orgasm for me—just an agitated vagina, damp underwear, and the overwhelming question of why I’d ever want to do that again. Sex got more exciting in my twenties, when I discovered the joy of the one-night stand. Some of my favorite sexual experiences have been with people I never wanted to see again but whom I’m very pleased I spent the night with. We’re raised to believe love and sex are connected, but most people don’t have sex because they’re in love; they do it because it feels really good. Sex is the most personal choice we make, and it should be ours to make freely; just make sure you’re safe and don’t leave with more than you arrived with. I’ll also say, having been married to the same dude for 11 years, I think the benefits of sex in a long-term relationship far outweigh the one-night deal. But I had to find that out the fun way.

Pay attention to the warning signs. If a guy says, “I don’t want a girlfriend,” or “I’ve never been faithful,” he means it. Sure, you can seduce him, but don’t expect to change him. Please believe him when he tells you who he is.

Maintain boundaries. I don’t understand the outdated notion of “two becoming one.” If you think you’re only half a person, please figure your shit out before getting in a relationship. Likewise, if you’re in love with a half-formed person, get out fast. When you’ve worked as hard as I have to form your identity, the last thing you want is to blur where you end and someone else begins. Remember who you are, and stay true to that. Another thing on boundaries: Stay away from other people’s partners. There are enough people in the world; you deserve one of your own.

And take it one day at a time. My husband, Nick, recently said to me, “I can’t believe I’ve been touching your boobs for 15 years.” I laughed. I knew what he meant—that’s a long time. Is forever realistic? Who knows. In marriage you sacrifice the adrenaline rush of seeing someone new for the comfort of being with someone who knows everything about you and loves you anyway. Today I wouldn’t trade that for anything, but tomorrow might be a different story. And that’s OK—life is messy, and I’m down for the ride.

Amanda de Cadenet is the host of The Conversation and CEO and founder of Girlgaze. This is adapted from It’s Messy: On Boys, Boobs, and Badass Women.

PHOTO: Courtesy of publisher



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My Grandfather Was Killed in the Charleston Church Shooting—Here's My Advice For Charlottesville


Dear Charlottesville,

HATE WON’T WIN. Two years ago, my grandfather was murdered at a bible study in a Charleston church basement when a white supremacist, who believed that African Americans are somehow undeserving of life, opened fired on an entire room of people during prayer. This man killed, in addition to my grandfather, eight other churchgoers who invited him in to learn about God in an act of hate and fear. But I didn’t give him the power to control my grandfather’s legacy, shake my faith, or make me hate him back. I was able to look at him and told him that although my family member died at the hands of hate, he lived in love, he preached love, and his legacy will be love so HATE WON’T WIN.

It amazes me how people can posses a physical heart that is empty of anything we associate with a symbolic heart. Things like love, compassion, and courtesy are absent from the hearts and minds of the neo-nazi, the white supremacist, and the so-called alt-right—and all their followers, in Charlottesville and beyond. People all around us are revealing their true character by either joining them, defending their actions, or even worse, saying absolutely nothing in the name of what is right. Yes they’re evil, yes they’re wrong, and no, they’re not alone. But as grim as it looks, HATE WON’T WIN.

I know this, because I’ve lived it. And I beat it. With God leading me, my family beside me, and a community of people behind me, I resisted the temptation to let their anger, fear, and ignorance penetrate my spirit because that would be exactly what they want. They want to see us disoriented, weak with pain, and drunk with anger. But I’m asking you to resist that temptation and be stronger, be greater, be the embodiment of love in the face of hate so they too will know that HATE WON’T WIN.

The author, Alana Simmons, and her late grandfather, Rev. Daniel Lee Simmons Sr.

So, you’re wondering: where do we go from here? Who do we turn to? Well, my call to action is simple and derived from the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. who once said “We are ALL superbly equipped to do this. We have known the agony of being the underdog. We must have a passion for peace born out of the wretchedness and misery of war. Giving our ultimate allegiance to the empire of justice.”

All that means to me is that whoever you are and whatever you do, you can help cure this great nation of the hate that has plagued us for so long.

If you’re in education, teach your students to be culturally competent. If you have a family, expose them to other cultures in an intentional and appreciative manner. If you’re in religion, teach and preach all the principles of love and hold your congregations accountable. If you’re in politics, use a moral code to lead and govern. Represent all the people you serve, not just the few you identify with. If you’re in media, use the power of your platform to inspire. If you have a heart, honor the lives of those we’ve lost and unify so HATE WON’T WIN.

When I lost my grandfather I took those words—hate won’t win—and turned them into a call to action. I challenged the world to find someone, extend an act of love across cultural lines, post it to their social media pages, inspire someone else to do the same, and repeat. The spirit of love, reconciliation, truth, grace, and humility filled our nation and it was the witness of that experience changing people who looked, worshiped, and valued differently that ensured me that HATE WON’T WIN.

My thoughts, prayers, and actions are with you.

Sincerely,
Alana Simmons
Founder and CEO of Hate Won’t Win Movement, Inc.

*Hate Won’t Win is a non-profit organizations whose sole purpose is to advocate for unity through demonstrations of love. You can follow them on on Facebook @hatewontwinmovement.



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