Former Bachelor star Colton Underwood has a new book out, and he’s letting people in on his personal life even more than he did on reality TV.
In The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking for Love on Reality TV, he writes about his experiences on The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Bachelor in Paradise, but also his non-televised relationships, like the one he had with Olympic gymnastics star Aly Raisman a few years back.
“Aly was easy to talk to. She was open, funny, bright, honest, and inquisitive. She laughed easily and had a smile that I would’ve been happy to simply gaze at for the rest of the night, no further conversation necessary,” he wrote in his book, per Us Weekly. Of their first dates, he said, “It was very late when I dropped her back at her hotel, and when I said I’d had a great time, I meant it. Later that night, Aly texted me a thank-you. Neither of us had expected to get on as well as we did. For a first date, it couldn’t have gone better.” Sadly, their relationship didn’t last.
Colton Underwood and Aly Raisman in January 2017.
Getty Images
When the couple broke up, Underwood reached out to Raisman’s friend and fellow gymnast Simone Biles for advice. “I pulled over to the side of the road, stunned and unable to comprehend this was happening,” he wrote of their FaceTime split. “Aly said she felt overwhelmed, confused, and in need of a break. Afterward, I sat in my car and cried. I was numb for days.” After not hearing back from Raisman via text, he says he got in touch with Biles “hoping she could offer an explanation or insight.” Alas, she could not. He says he is now a “better and wiser man” because of their relationship and also reveals he promised not to speak about her on The Bachelorette.
Colton Underwood is currently dating Cassie Randolph, whom he met on his Bachelor season. Here’s hoping everyone involved is in a better place now.
Which city gives you the biggest beauty inspiration?
Well, I’d say Rio de Janeiro, but of course I can never look like the women there do—not ever. Not even if I were 20. So if not Rio, then I think I’ll have to say Paris because they just know how to do it. They really are the best at it.
What’s your favorite emoji?
I don’t use emojis. I hate them. They’re irritating and stupid.
You do use Instagram, though.
Yes. But I don’t call it my Instagram, I call it my Latergram because I always post much later, like three weeks later. Or a year later.
You’ve got $20 and free roam of the drugstore. What do you buy?
Probably lipstick and lip liner. I love a lovely red, almost purple-y color. Especially berry colors. I’m always looking for the perfect lipstick. I also love L’Oréal’s Age Perfect Rosy Tone Moisturizer. If you really don’t feel like wearing any makeup—because some days you just don’t want to put anything on your face, right?—the rosy moisturizer is really nice.
What’s your favorite way to take a moment for yourself?
A cup of PG Tips, which is an English tea. Sometimes a biscuit, a hobnob. Or, actually, a cup of tea and Marmite on toast. Yes, definitely.
There’s been a lot of talk recently about how women over 50 are redefining how we perceive age—whether it’s J. Lo, Jennifer Aniston, or yourself. Do you think it’s helped take some trepidation around aging away?
Yes, of course it has. But we get a lot of help in many different directions. You see beautiful photographs of us in a magazine, but there’s amazing lighting, an incredible photographer, an incredible hair and makeup team, a clothes team. There’s a lot of work going into making that image. However, having said that, I still think that image is important for people to see. Life as an influential person is not over at 40.
What’s the most pivotal shift in beauty standards you’ve seen over the last few decades?
In addition to being an accomplished lawyer, a style icon, and record-breaking author, Michelle Obama is also like another mother when it comes to dispensing extremely valuable life advice. On Saturday night (July 6) during the Essence Festival, she was at it again, sharing some of her thoughts on dating and marriage. Obama left the audience with some thoughtful advice about why women should find an equal who wants “you to win as much as you want them to win.”
The sage words came during a keynote conversation with CBS anchor Gayle King. The topic turned to marriage, and Obama quickly broke in with the philosophies that have helped her and Barack Obama through more than 26 years that have included two children and two terms in the White House.
“Marriage is a choice you make every day,” she explained. “You don’t do it because it’s easy. You do it because you believe in it. You believe in the other person.”
“And ladies and gentleman, that’s why it’s so important to marry somebody that you respect,” she continued, “It’s important to marry somebody who is your equal, and to marry and be with somebody who wants you to win as much as you want them to win.”
The idea, she said, has some parallel to sports. “My husband is my teammate. If we are going to win this game together, he has to be strong and he has to be okay with me being strong. I do not want a weak player on my team, nor does he. But sometimes, we accept weak in one another because it feels easy. And be cautious of the man or woman who wants just the easy person.”
As a couple, the Obamas have constantly shown they have an unbelievably strong handle on working together. There’s the sweet stuff, like social media tributes and Spotify playlists, but they’ve always spoken about being each other’s source of support and encouragement. Power-couple goals? You bet.
Opening up about one’s experiences with mental health is far from an easy thing to do, especially when stigma is still very real. Many celebrities, however, have begun to break this barrier in years past, one of them being actor Troian Bellisario. The former Pretty Little Liars star has been vocal about her journey with mental health, sharing her experiences with anxiety and an eating disorder in order to help young fans who may be going through similar battles.
In a recent video, Troian opened up once again about what she has faced, joining the Child Mind Institute‘s #MyYoungerSelf campaign. In the clip, she gives useful advice to her younger self about how to do deal with and embrace her feelings, whether they be happy, sad, or painful. “It’s totally normal for you to feel like somedays you might be overwhelmingly sad, or some days you might be very angry,” she says in the clip. “Some days you might be really happy, and all of these [feelings] are real, and they’re legitimate, and they’re yours.
She adds: “Don’t hide them or push them away…. You’re an incredible person, you’re a sensitive person… You don’t have to take it out on yourself or hurt yourself in any way because you are loved; you are worthy of being loved.”
The #MyYoungerSelf campaign was created in order for actors, athletes, and others in the public eye to share hope with those who may be dealing with their own mental health journey. Others who have participated in the campaign are Isaac Mizrahi, Bo Burnham, and Alyson Stoner.
Troian has been very vocal about her eating disorder in the past. In 2017, while promoting her film Feed, she told Teen Vogue: “For somebody who’s experienced it, you know that when that voice speaks, you feel compelled to listen. You’re either trying to avoid its punishment, or avoid the pain that comes from not listening to it. For somebody who doesn’t experience an eating disorder, they have to understand why somebody would be motivated to follow its orders.” In an essay for Lenny Letter, she opened up further, explaining that that voice follows her every single day, even if her eating disorder itself has alleviated as she’s grown older and attained help.
Troian ends the video saying, “You will grow and you will experience different things and I’m really proud of you,” reminding us all that we are seen, worthy, and loved.
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If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, NEDA‘s toll-free, confidential helpline (800-931-2237) is here to help: Monday-Thursday from 9AM to 9PM EST and Friday 9AM to 5PM. NEDA’s helpline volunteers offer support and basic information, locate treatment options in your area, and can help you find answers to any questions you may have.
“Have you tried just using Dove soap? That’s what I use.” That’s the advice my freshman-year roommate gave me after I had complained to her for the millionth time about how my acne was making me miserable and the antibiotics I’d been taking for it for years were no longer making a difference. In the eights months we’d lived together, I had seen her with a pimple maybe once.
Now I open Instagram to a parade of influencers with flawless complexions telling me about the newest life-changing face oil they happen to have a discount code for. Twitter accounts preach how tea tree oil and rosewater are the secret to clear, radiant skin. In every Q&A, models tell me I can look just like them if I drink more water (hot with lemon, only in the morning) and do yoga three times a week.
Clear, perfect skin has long been a symbol of wealth and beauty, but thanks in part to social media and millennials’ skin care obsession, perfect skin has become an even greater signifier. When I was in high school, compliments were always more holistic: “You look so pretty,” “Your makeup looks so good.” Now whenever I meet up with a group of friends, someone will say, “Your skin looks amazing,” or leave a comment on Instagram like “OMG skin.”
At this point, having flawless skin is like social currency. It goes beyond showing you have money (look at celebrities who have been open about acne struggles, including Kendall Jenner and Lorde). Rather, it’s a sort of signal that you belong to an elite club and are someone who takes pride in taking care of themselves. Influencers are posting close-up photos of their skin as if to invite people to comment on how good it is. In fact, one I follow routinely posts stories of herself testing skin care products with #nofilter. She might not be intentionally bragging about her perfect canvas (but I mean, come on), but that’s exactly what it feels like when her content pops up on my phone.
Here’s the thing, though: It’s not the new products that account for the fact she has no pimples or her skin is so luminous she doesn’t need makeup. I’m sure they, along with access to facialists and derms, help. But her genetics are the real star of the show.
In both real life and online, I’m bombarded by people with perfect skin telling me a single product or regimen is to thank. But I don’t buy any of it. The fact of the matter is I’ll never have the skin these women were born with.
“As much as I can laser a patient’s skin or give out prescription medications, nothing can beat good genetics,” says New York dermatologist Joshua Zeichner, M.D. “It’s better to have good genes than a good dermatologist.” Recent studies have also confirmed a deeper link between genetics and acne.
I’m not saying skin care doesn’t matter. When I cocktail and combine effectively, it most certainly does. I have a number of products I rely on to keep my cystic acne manageable and my flaky skin at bay. But no serum, lotion, or oil will ever truly—and completely—transform my face. The closest I can get to good genes is a round of Accutane, which I did last year, and I still struggle with breakouts. Those are caused by hormonal factors that aren’t as easy to fix as a couple of zits that appeared because I used the wrong sunscreen.
Let’s get this straight: there’s no wrong way to choose how to remove your pubes or not. From Barbie-doll hairless to full bush (as celebrities have candidly begun talking about), how you groom down there is a purely personal decision. But if totally bare is what you’re after, there’s no denying that a brazilian wax is the fastest, least bump-inducing way to smooth things out below the waist.
That said, it doesn’t matter how advanced you are in the Brazilian arts, we get that it can be a nerve-racking experience. Here, our favorite bikini-waxing specialists share what they wish they could tell you before you lie down on the table. (Hint: You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Unless you show up drunk. Don’t do that.)
1. No one is judging your vagina.
First thing’s first, “don’t be nervous about the way your vagina looks,” says Spruce & Bond specialist Krystal Cordova. “We see all sizes and colors on a daily basis. Our job is to make you look and feel better about it.” It’s a bikini wax, not an audition to be a pubic hair model.
2. It’s not really as bad as you’re expecting it to be.
If you’re a newbie and anticipating pain levels that revel that of Steve Carell’s character in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, know that a bikini wax certainly isn’t a paid vacation, but it’s likely going go better than you think. “For first-time waxers especially, the buildup of anticipation before you get in the room is the worst part,” says Shobha Tummala, Founder and CEO of Shobha. “If you’re seeing a pro, the ‘act’ itself will be much faster and less painful.”
3. Don’t come straight from spin class.
“Come in tidy, like brushing your teeth before a dental exam, but more along the lines of prepping for your annual exam at the gynecologist,” says Tummala. “At Shobha, we have rosewater freshening clothes in the room just in case.” She notes that the drier the area is, the better the wax will adhere and the better the results will be. “If you know you’re a sweater when it comes to physical activity, most likely you’ll sweat in your bikini area as well,” she explains. Wiping the area of other natural—and completely normal—bodily fluids like discharge is appreciated as well.
4. Go easy on the booze.
A glass of wine to temper your nerves before is one thing. But showing up plastered is a different story. “Don’t come into your appointment drunk, it will only make your blood thinner and more sensitive to pain,” says Cordova. There’s also the fact that it’s just kind of rude. For example, Los Angeles-based owner of Pink Cheeks Salon, Cindy Thorin, once had a client arrive so drunk, she didn’t know what to do. “I told her we had to take off her pants, not her underwear if she didn’t want to,” Thorin recalls. When the woman couldn’t get them down on her own, Thorin had to help her. (Don’t worry she came in to apologize for it—along with some other embarrassing things that happened—a few days later.)
5. Pee before your appointment.
If you’re nervous, pre-wax jitters can lead to a nervous bladder. “Make a pit stop in the powder room first because undressing and then re-dressing once you realize you have to ‘go’ slows things down and adds more hassle for you,” notes Tummala. She says this is a common occurrence: “Oftentimes, after disrobing from the waist down for a bikini treatment, you might feel a little colder, which can intensify the need to pee. Also, during certain parts of the treatment your skin is pulled taut, so even a light press on a full bladder can be uncomfortable.”
6. Don’t shave.
“Hair needs to be ¼-inch long to be pulled by wax from the hair root,” says Exhale Spa aesthetician Angela Marinescu. She says that after shaving, it takes three or four weeks for hair to be the best length to be waxed. “On those with blond hair, it takes about two to three weeks, dark hair takes longer because the roots are stronger,” she says.
7. Seriously. There’s no such thing as being too hairy.
“A lot of clients get embarrassed about their growth if it’s been awhile,” Cordova says. “I’d rather wax overgrown hair than a two-week-old shave. It’s easier for the specialist and less painful for you.”
8. Timing matters.
Don’t schedule a wax five days before your menstrual cycle, during, or immediately after. “Your body is especially sensitive during this time period,” says Marinescu. If you’re sensitive or it’s your first time getting waxed, she adds that taking Advil half an hour prior to your appointment will help. Or you could try these other reader-approved painkillers.
9. Don’t workout after your wax either.
“The friction in tight yoga pants can cause irritation,” says Marinescu. Additionally, “you should avoid any physical activity 12 to 24 hours after your wax,” Cordova says. “The less heat you bring to the area, the better.” Steering clear of another—more private—athletic endeavor can be beneficial as well. Aesthetician Elana De Damian of Elana De Damian Skin Care suggests holding off on getting busy post-wax for at least 24 hours. And while we’re at it, cross these other things off your to-do list too.
10. Wear comfortable clothes into your appointment.
It’s not just yoga pants you might want to avoid. Anything tight-fitting can rub raw spots and make matters worse, says dermatologist Kally Papantoniou, M.D., in New York City. So think maxi dresses and harem pants and breathable cotton fabrics.
11. Be vocal.
“If you have a specific idea of how you want your bikini line to look like, speak up,” Cordova says. “Transparency is welcome.” Cordova says she and her team can create clean edges “like a tapestry” or just clean up what’s visible outside of your bikini.
12. Resist the urge to do recon work postwax job.
“If ingrown hairs appear after your wax, don’t pluck them,” advises Cordova. “Let us handle it.” If you pick at your ingrowns with your nails, you risk scarring and infection. “We have tons of bacteria underneath our nail beds,” she says. If you can’t make it back into your waxer, an ingrown hair treatment (like Anthony or Fur) can help safely address the issue, as well as gentle exfoliation of the area three days after your wax.
