Tag: Women

Health

The Best Perfumes for Women for Fall 2017

Post author By news22
Post date October 14, 2017
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The Best Fragrance Note for Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Pink Pepper

This fresh, rosy sparkler of a scent is lovely enough for the most aesthetic-minded sign. Plus it’s popping up everywhere these days, giving Libras what they love most…options!

It’s cool, confident, and undeniably beautiful.

This one comes straight out of a fantasy world, so it’ll look just as great on your vanity, as it smells on your skin.

Light on top, darker on the bottom, this fragrance is one word: complex.

The Best Fragrance Note for Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Musk

Come on, Scorps, does it really surprise you—the most seductive sign—that the sexiest of all notes is what you’d gravitate best to? Another selling point: It can also be incredibly soothing, so it’ll help take the edge off notoriously intense Scorpios.

Both fresh and musky, it’s sexy for a night out.

This oil is subtle enough to layer on, but still irresistible.

Equal parts sweet and savory, this scent is intense in the best way.

The Best Fragrance Note for Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Bergamot

Named after Bergamo, Italy and sometimes referred to as “sunshine in a bottle,” this note works well for exuberant Sags. The unique combo of spice, smoke, and citrus takes Archers on a mental trip that satisfies their wanderlust.

Warm, smooth vanilla and amber mix with citrus notes to give this heavier scent some extra brightness.

Citrus notes make the rosy tones more wild and unexpected.

This is your scent for special occasions and nights you really want to make an impression.

The Best Fragrance Note for Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Vetiver

Vetiver’s masculine earthiness suits sophisticated Goats. The coolest sign in the zodiac would rather smell like a noble forest than a fragile flower any day.

Vetiver and papyrus turn this floral fragrance into something much stronger. (Example: If it were a drink, it’d be a bourbon.)

If this fragrance were sentient, it’d be ambitious, intelligent, and astute.

It’s meant to smell like gold. Warm, beautiful (slightly musky) gold.

The Best Fragrance Note for Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Patchouli

You didn’t think we could resist pairing patchouli with the boho sign, did you? Fortunately, today’s version is nothing like the ’60s. It’s intoxicatingly herbaceous—and exotic enough for offbeat Aquarians.

It’s meant to smell simple, like bare skin. But it’s even sexier than that.

It’s warm and comforting—like a swig of rum.

A little wild and very confident. The women who wears this is on a mission and gets what she wants.

Best Fragrance Notes for Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Frankincense

Spiritual Pisces can’t resist a scent that’s closely associated with meditation and rituals. Since frankincense ranges from sweet to spicy, balsamic to lemony, and everything in between, there’s one for every Fish to like.

Formulated with spicy pepper notes and loud musks, it’s extravagant and made for dreamers.

Although this fragrance was made for an Aries, the grounding frankincense really makes it perfect for anyone right on the cusp of the two signs.

This smells almost mystical thanks to a complex mix of spices.

The Best Fragrance Note for Aries (March 21-April 19): Ginger

A bold tonic note for the first-out-of-the-gate sign, ginger keeps pace with Rams’ famous energy. Its sharp spiciness is an ideal match for the fiery nature of Aries.

Top notes of ginger and tuberose strike a playful floral scent.

This oil will give you a burst of life when you’re losing steam.

Formulated to resemble the color fuchsia, this scent is anything but shy.

The Best Fragrance Note for Taurus (April 20-May 20): Vanilla

Let’s just cut to the chase, Taurus is the most sensual sign and vanilla is a natural aphrodisiac. It’s made for Bulls.

The vanilla makes this comforting while the green tea keeps it earthy.

It’s creamy, sweet, and very mysterious.

Sexy is in the name, so enough said.

The Best Fragrance Note for Gemini (May 21-June 21): Grapefruit

The bright liveliness of grapefruit makes it a go-to choice for bubbly Twins. And it has a whole other side that veers toward tangy tartness—sound like anyone you know?

There are so many facets to this fragrance—smoky, fruity, floral. It’s more than meets the eye.

Roll it on and remind yourself who you really are, or who you want to be.

It’s both intensely bright and powerfully earthy.

The Best Fragrance Note for Cancer (June 22-July 22): Lily of the Valley

The most feminine sign gravitates to this sweet, fresh flower whose beauty has inspired legends, poems, and annual celebrations. It’s soft, like sensitive Crabs.

It’s incredibly light and sweet, thanks to notes of raspberry and jasmine.

Floral and green notes combine to create an uplifting scent.

It’s over the top, intoxicating, and undeniably feminine.

The Best Fragrance Note for Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): White Flowers

These lush, voluptuous floral notes land squarely in the head-turning category—perfect for the movie star sign of the zodiac. They’re attention-grabbing, so spritz with care.

It’s got a heady combination of tuberose and jasmine and smells like days spent under the sun.

Bold white florals hit just the right balance against a mix of sweet, fruity notes.

Woody and floral, it’s the perfect blend of fearlessness and femininity.

The Best Fragrance Note for Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Cedarwood

A clean, grounding note for a sign with the same qualities, cedarwood and Virgo go hand in hand. Bonus: Its calming effect does wonders for perfectionists.

Warm, smooth, and comforting with notes of wood and tuberose.

It’s that familiar rose scent, but with a woody twist.

It’s got that strong, independent Coach girl vibe, thanks to a mix of fresh pear, white roses, and its cedarwood base.

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Tags Fall, Perfumes, Women

Health

The Evolution of How Women Style Their Pubic Hair Is Endlessly Fascinating

Post author By news22
Post date October 5, 2017
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Just as hair trends make their way in and out of pop culture, our habits with the hair we have down there are constantly in flux. Yeah, we’re talking about pubic hair. Maybe it’s because everything’s under wraps, but exactly what everyone else is doing with their pubes has always held a special grill-your-closest-friends-about-it fascination. When something gets its own Sex and the City subplot, you know it used to be mildly taboo—and everyone wants to talk about it.

Fortunately, in the years since that episode aired, the discussion’s become more transparent. (Thank you, SATC, and thank you, waxing menus.) Our collective outlook on what you do with your body has become a “You do you” situation. But it hasn’t always been so: The history of pubic hair styles is incredibly weird, and it also tells us a lot about how the times—and myths about women’s health—have changed. From the bare babes of ancient Egypt, where they used stones (stones!!!) as razors, to the painfully famous Brazilian wax, the evolution of pubic hair will make you glad it’s 2017.

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Tags Endlessly, Evolution, Fascinating, Hair, Pubic, Style, Women

Health

This 20-Year-Old Entrepreneur Started Aunt Flow to Help Women Get Period Products

Post author By news22
Post date September 29, 2017
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It’s been less than a year since Claire Coder launched Aunt Flow in November 2016, and there’s been a lot going on since: the company, which sells and donates menstrual products in a buy-one-give-one fashion similar to TOMS, has grown from selling tampons and pads to consumers to getting connected with businesses. It’s part of Coder’s larger mission to make sure everyone who gets a period also has access to free products right in their office bathroom—and, in this case, 100-percent cotton, FDA-regulated, hypoallergenic, and biodegradable free products. (The tampons, it should be noted, are sans applicator—common enough in Europe, and they generate 58 percent less waste, Coder says.)

First things first, though: you better not call them “feminine products” or refer to the category as “feminine hygiene” around Coder. A huge part of her business concept is normalizing the conversation around periods and making it inclusive to a wide range of gender identities. Like the “#JustSayPeriod” campaign by cycle-tracking app Clue, Aunt Flow is all about getting rid of euphemisms. (“Tampons” and “pads” are the preferred terms.) There’s also the recognition that it’s not just cisgender women who get periods: transmen and people who don’t identify as one gender get them, too—so the company has eliminated the gendered pronouns of “her” and “she” from their materials.

As far as why periods, of all things, are her passion, she has a compelling narrative: “Growing up, my mom would talk to me about how many women she would serve—she’s a therapist—who would come to her groups wearing plastic bags or dirty socks when they were flowing,” she told me last December, soon after she started up. “I didn’t understand why. At my house, we always had a stock.” But for people receiving food stamps or WIC assistance, running to Walgreens isn’t financially an option with the cost of getting your period so high—and their assistance doesn’t cover menstrual products. Plus, she says, many organizations that provide tampons to those in need only have enough for two tampons per person per month.

“Craziness,” Coder told me. “I knew I wanted to create a sustainable solution to this problem.”

As of last week, Coder is bringing tampons to the “every-menstruator” (a term she coined to cover everyone who gets a period). The pivot to targeting businesses and organizations has seen her calling upon CEOs—men and women alike—to persuade them to make her tampons and pads available for free in company restrooms. After all, who among us hasn’t been caught out at work when our period strikes unexpectedly—whether it’s due to post-pregnancy spotting, adjusting to a new method birth control, or just switching purses from the night before and forgetting to throw a tampon in?

“I was inspired to start the business because I was at an event and I got my period,” she says. “There were no tampons. It was one of those events where there’s only men—a tech event—and you don’t feel comfortable asking for a tampon. So I had to leave the event early.”

When Coder approaches CEOs to praise the wonders of having free products available to their employees, she approaches it from a language they’ll understand: money—and in a way that totally gets rid of the “we don’t have budget for that” argument. According to research she commissioned with like-minded organization Free the Tampons, it costs more in time for a company to have an employee leave the office and go buy tampons if they’re out than it costs for the company to stock them for free.

But the CEOs that are the most receptive isn’t who you might think: instead of men being the ones to shy away from the idea, they’re the ones embracing it. “Our biggest supporters are typically male high executives,” Coder says. “We call them our flow bros.”

“Whenever we’re talking to men, what we’ve noticed is that these men have never had the opportunity to ask questions, to talk about menstruation in a comfortable environment,” she adds. “Ever since middle school they were separated from the conversation and put in separate heath courses.”

Instead—and surprisingly—it’s women who aren’t up for free tampons for all.

Why? Coder’s theory is this: “Women have been told their whole lives: don’t talk about menstruation. Carry your own supplies—it’s up to you. So female executives have said to me, ‘I have personally have had an experience that was personally embarrassing, but I learned from it: now I carry things with me all the time.’ It’s a really sad system where women have been told over and over again: don’t talk about it; be prepared; it’s your responsibility.”

According to data from Free the Tampons, almost two-thirds of younger women somewhat or strongly agree with the idea of free menstrual products. Conversely, only 33 percent of women 55-plus do. Fifty-five percent of women in that older age group strongly believe that it’s a women’s personal responsibility to be prepared. And yet, according to more data from the organization, a whopping 86 percent of women have had their period strike when they weren’t prepared for it.

She acknowledges that of course it’s someone’s responsibility to have the supplies they might need. “But at the same time bathrooms are not created equal: you don’t carry around toilet paper all the time.” And for people on their periods, menstrual supplies are, in fact, as basic as toilet paper.

“That doesn’t mean there haven’t been great female advocates for the company, but when we look at ratio of our supporters, it’s really been men who have backed us and supported us,” she says. “We haven’t done enough research on understanding why this is, but we always joke if a man turned us down he’d look like a douchebag. Or continuing the patriarchy, right?”

There’s more to come as Coder continues trying to sell companies on the idea that every menstruator should have access to free tampons and pads: to date, they’ve sold enough product that they’ll be donating, in TOMS fashion, 60,000 menstrual products to organizations around the U.S., she says. And, after all, she’s not even 21. But when she finally hits the age when she can “talk about it over drinks” with potential clients (that’s February 27, by the way), you better believe she’ll be ready.

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Tags 20YearOld, Aunt, Entrepreneur, Flow, Period, Products, Started, Women

Health

Sexsomnia—That's Sleepwalking Sex—Is Real and Thousands of Women Have It

Post author By news22
Post date September 28, 2017
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After five years together, Grace*, 37, and her then-partner were struggling to make their relationship work. There was almost no physical intimacy between them—until they started having sex in their sleep. When she felt his touch, Grace would begin to dream that she was sleeping with someone else. Of course, once she woke up she realized it must have been her boyfriend, but it was as if the need for closeness that went unaddressed in real life was being realized in their sleep. They’d discuss it in the morning, and while they both vaguely remembered having sex, neither had intentionally initiated it.

Elizabeth*, 36, and her then-partner also began having sex in their sleep when they’d stopped doing it during waking hours. “While we knew the relationship was ending, we were still living together,” she explains. “We still wanted it, just not necessarily with each other,” she says. “Since we were still living together and, at that point, still sleeping in the same bed, it manifested subconsciously.” She’s only aware it even happened because she would sometimes wake up in the middle of it. Elizabeth also experienced this with another, shorter-term partner the first time she slept at his place.

The experience they’re describing is called sexsomnia, a sleep disorder similar to sleepwalking except, instead of getting up and moving around, sufferers have sex or masturbate while asleep. One Toronto Western Hospital study found that 11 percent of male sleep center patients and four percent of female patients experienced the condition, but W. Christopher Winter, MD, president of Charlottesville Neurology and Sleep Medicine and medical director of Martha Jefferson Hospital Sleep Medicine Center, believes many more people have had sex in their sleep at some point. The most common cause of sexsomnia, he says, is Ambien or other sleeping pills. Many times, sexsomnia stops occurring once his patients stop taking these drugs. Alcohol, sleep deprivation, restless leg syndrome, sleep apnea, nocturnal seizures, and sleeping in new environments can make it manifest as well.

As Grace and Elizabeth’s stories show, the cause can also be psychological: Sexomniacs enacting desires in their sleep that they’re unable or reluctant to fulfill in real life. Winter had one patient who yelled, “If you don’t fuck me, I’ll find someone who will!” at her husband while asleep. While awake, he says, she “wouldn’t even say the word ‘sex’ without whispering it.”

Despite the aggression with which many sexsomniacs initiate sex, some are unclear as to whether they’ve even consented. Dr. Winter’s patient was upset that her husband had sex with her as she slept. Meanwhile, her husband said he felt pressured into sex by her.

“A sleepwalking person or an unconscious person or a person with dementia or Alzheimer’s or a person with sexsomnia cannot give consent, even if the partner were to ask,” says couples and sex therapist Stephen Duclos, LMFT. “If the partner were to ask, and no conversation was possible, this might be an indication that something was wrong.” Usually, once the sexsomnia sufferer’s partner realizes their partner has been sleeping during sex, they stop doing it to avoid any violation of boundaries.

Though not all sexsomnia sufferers consider it a violation. “They like the initiation of sexual activity in the middle of the night,” explains sexual wellness coach Lauren Brim. “One man told me that he says really loving and tender things to his partner during his episodes of sexsomnia.”

Grace didn’t feel violated by the sex she had in her sleep since her partner was sleeping, too. “It was very much an automatic sleep action rather than any—not even a subconscious—sense of entitlement to my body,” she says.

It was similar with Elizabeth. “Both were partners I’d happily and safely been with already, and in both cases, each of us was asleep when the act happened,” she explains. “If this had happened with a totally new person, or a random person whom I’d met on a night out, say, I would have likely felt violated.”

Though sometimes it’s the sexsomniac’s partner who feels violated, says Winter. People are often more forward in their sleep than they are when they can consciously choose whether they’ll act on their urges. “That’s the worst part of it,” he says. “This violation of trust and consent.”

Brim has worked with three men with sexsomnia, and they all have to warn new partners and avoid sharing beds with people they’re not in relationships with. Many sexsomniacs end up embarrassed over their late-night activity, she adds.

But for those who don’t want to be woken up, have sex with someone who won’t remember it, or have sex while they’re not fully conscious, there are work-arounds beyond just avoiding sleeping next to one another. “Partners with healthy communication know how to navigate the sexsomnia so it doesn’t become something nonconsensual or something that deprives them of sleep,” says Brim. “Those in a relationship with a sexsomniac can help their partner discover what triggers might bring on sexsomnia in the night, and how to lessen or stop the behavior.” For example, one of her clients realized he was only having sex in his sleep if he fell asleep while touching his partner.

There are also medical treatments, like CPAP machines for sleep apnea and medications like clonazepam, says Duclos.

In the worst cases, some couples may have to sleep in separate beds until the sexsomnia is sorted out, says Winter, but he’s never had a patient feels the need to do so permanently. “There are definitely treatments for it,” he says. “You don’t have to sit there and take it.”

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Tags Real, SexIs, SexsomniaThat039s, Sleepwalking, Thousands, Women

Health

The Atlas of Beauty Photo Series Captures the Beauty of Women Around the World

Post author By news22
Post date September 28, 2017
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Kathmandu, Nepal

“Sona is celebrating Holi, the Hindu festival of colors, and among the most spectacular gatherings I witnessed in my travels. A time to forgive and to be forgiven, Holi marks the coming of spring, when good triumphs over evil.”

Omo Valley, Ethiopia

“With the high temperatures here, nudity is not unusual. Her tribe is called the Daasanach and they have lived in isolation for generations.”

Wakhan Corridor, Afghanistan

“She was working in the field in one of the most remote places of the world. The people and the natural surroundings are beautiful, but life is so harsh. The violent conflicts that have plagued Afghanistan for the past 40 years never reached her village but were never far away, and made it impossible for her to improve her life.”

Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan

“This photo was taken just before her performance in a traditional dance.”

Paris, France

“I met Imane at an art exhibition at the Pompidou Centre, her favorite place to dream, before she had to leave for a job interview. She is studying art at a university and also works in three restaurants and does some babysitting to support herself. But she wants to someday have an art gallery, one that will bring together artists from different cultures. She has African and European roots and loves the diversity of the world.”

Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia

“She’s wearing a deel, which is a traditional outfit commonly seen in Mongolia.”

Berlin, Germany

“Anais has a Malian mother and a French father. When she travels to Mali, people consider her to be white. When she’s in Europe, she’s seen as black. But Anais says she feels both African and European, even if on any given day her clothing expresses a particular part of her heritage.”

Delphi, Greece

“On a normal day, Eleni works in her family’s restaurant. But once a year, she dresses like this for Easter. It’s fascinating to see that, despite the fact that Greece is a modern country, it preserves many of its ancient traditions.”

New York, USA

“Abby and Angela are sisters with an Ethiopian mother and a Nigerian father. Both parents worked for the United Nations so the sisters grew up in six different countries, on three different continents. This gave them a broad perspective and allowed them to see where need was the greatest. After graduation, they both plan to move to Africa and put their knowledge in the service of that amazing continent. Their enthusiasm is inspiring.”

Sichuan Province, China

“Among the most graceful women I encountered, this Tibetan mother of two in a rural village looked like this the moment she opened her door to me; she had been cleaning her house, and yet she was wearing her jewelry. I found that Tibetan women display this kind of style in every moment of their lives.”

Paris, France

“You can’t imagine what a joyful woman Ania is. She has one of the most impressive stories I’ve ever heard. She was born without a right leg, in Poland, and her mother abandoned her in a hospital, begging the doctor to take care of her. At nineteen months old, she was adopted by a Belgian family, where she had a bright childhood.

Ramallah, Palestinian Territories

“Amal—her name means ‘hope’ in Arabic—is Palestinian, but had lived in Saudi Arabia from age five, when her family moved there.”

Zurich, Switzerland

“Patricia and Rebecca are sisters. Their striking hair color caught my eye at the train station; it seemed magical, but I learned that they didn’t always love it as kids.”

Istanbul, Turkey

“During my travels, I’ve met so many stunning women who told me they don’t feel beautiful at all. Influenced by the way the media depicts beauty, many people feel pressured to follow a certain standard of beauty. But that’s not the case with Pinar.

Chichicastenango, Guatemala

“Maria is a vegetable vendor in the market of her small town. She became shy as soon as she saw the camera.”

Pushkar, India

“While traveling from country to country, I was happy to see that women have joined public forces all over the world.”

The Atlas of Beauty

The Atlas of Beauty is now available on amazon.com for $18.

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Tags Atlas, Beauty, Captures, Photo, Series, Women, world

Health

Take it From a New Mom: Universal Health Care Would Mean Freedom, Especially for Women

Post author By news22
Post date September 28, 2017
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Since my baby was born a year and a half ago, my husband and I have watched the majority of our recent employers in the media industry either shut down, get sold, or drastically decrease their staff. We have switched back and forth to each others’ health insurance a few times, trying to maintain stability for our family.

Still, I go to bed every night worrying about insurance, especially that I am now a C-section mom, which means I have a pre-existing condition.

For women—and for all parents and primary caretakers—having the freedom to move careers or locations without losing our health care means something really big: we can choose when, if and how to start families—in ways we might not be able to imagine otherwise. And that’s something we should be talking about more.

These days when we talk about health care, we hear a lot about what is wrong (and scary, and terrible) about the status quo. We listen to frightening stories of sickness and tragedy, stories that don’t seem to melt any powerful hearts or change any influential minds—the Affordable Care Act repeal efforts are a zombie that won’t die. It’s critical that we have those conversations and shine a light on the people who need the most help.

But we’re so busy defending our position, that we don’t talk enough about what a different world could look like. Sometimes it feels impossible to even think that way. But it’s worth trying, for the glimmer of hope and the shot of positive energy it can give us.

But when I think about the concept of universal health care, I see a doorway to more freedom. It feels like a ray of sunshine has suddenly descended on my family’s future, and all of ours.

Bernie Sanders’ Medicare for All bill, introduced this month, and which is getting support from all the major Democratic contenders for the 2020 race, offers us all this chance—a moment to think expansively, to imagine something radically different.

It allows us to ask the big questions: If you had guaranteed access to decent health care, what would you do differently with your life? Would you become an entrepreneur? An artist? Go live on a farm? Have a baby sooner, or later? Work on that rock opera or science experiment you’ve been dreaming about?

Or just do exactly what you do now, but with a little less anxiety?

Medicare for All, as it’s called by Sanders, is really what’s known as a single-payer plan. As NPR explains‑it would phase in a single system by lowering the eligibility for an expanded version of Medicare every few years until everyone is covered. The plan as proposed isn’t expected to pass—and the question of how it will be paid for remains a big one—but at least it’s offering us something we need: a vision that could really change our lives.

If you had guaranteed access to decent health care, what would you do differently with your life?

Think about the major shift that happened for the generation who lived during the legalization of birth control, and then of abortion: they were suddenly able to pursue careers and adventures and plan for a family at the time that felt right to them. That revolution in reproductive health care made the same kind of sea-change for them that universal health coverage could do for women now. New ways to join the workforce. New chances for equal partnerships at home. The ability to really consider when and how and in what order they wanted to have kids.

Medicare for All would give a new generation a whole new level of freedom and opportunity; last time I checked, those are two ideas that are part of a very American ethos of taking charge of your destiny.

Health care untethered from or employers would give America’s women a chance to follow their dreams. Maybe that’s why it’s so threatening to some men in power—like the congressmen who questioned why men should have prenatal care included in their insurance plans.

Today, most of us rely on employer-based health care, which was fought for and won when a government-run health care proposal faltered in the 1940s—when many women were still expected to be totally dependent on their husbands. If you think about it, it makes no sense. Why should the suits who judge the quality of, say, your spreadsheets, your lesson plans, your PowerPoint presentations or your carpentry skills have power over whether or not you have health care? There is no really logical connection between these two things. It puts us all at the mercy of the companies that employ us, and that’s not exactly comforting in these volatile times.

The status quo is bad for our souls, as well as our bodies. In my busy, over-scheduled life as a fairly new mom, I’ve started look at self-help book titles and be tempted by them: They all exhort me to “Live the life you’ve always wanted! Be the CEO of your future!” and “Choose to Succeed!” It’s so appealing. I mean, I’d love to kill my inner fears and eat them for breakfast every morning. I’m sure we all would. But then I look around me.

Many modern fears are not the kind you can vanquish with a new outlook on life. It’s rational—wise, even—to leave your daring, awesome, magical dream-project in a drawer, if doing so means your kid can go to the doctor instead of the E.R.. No mantra can change that. That’s why it’s crazy to me when people act like government involvement in health care would mean less freedom. It could mean so much more, for all of us—especially for lower-income women, who already receive huge benefits from Medicaid during their childbearing years, from family planning to postnatal checkups.

I mean, I’d love to kill my inner fears and eat them for breakfast every morning. I’m sure we all would. But then I look around me.

We’ve seen in the past decade the sense of freedom that comes from the idea of expanded health coverage. I remember the sigh of relief that ran through my group of friends when Obamacare passed. My peers, then in their 20s and beginning to think about families, began to relax, to freelance, go back to school—because their health care was no longer tied to one job. They had more than a single path forward. But as the options under the ACA got pricier and coverage slimmer, and as politicians played ping-pong with our health care this summer, a nagging voice has come back into all of our lives: what about insurance, what about insurance?

It’s amazing how this affects me. Every time I hear that a new health care repeal effort has failed, I feel tension leave my body. I try not to make it feel personal, but of course it is personal; I’m a mom who had a pregnancy complication and a C-section, a walking pre-existing condition with a little person to protect and provide for—and in 2017, providing for means health insurance.

This is what life is like for so many of us. We are exhausted and sore from living in defensive mode, struggling to anticipate the next disaster: job loss or a health problem, a relative getting sick, steeply rising rents in our neighborhood, a scary diagnosis for our kid—some unexpected twist that could push us to the edge.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. So next time the health care debate comes up in your life, ask the people around you this question: If we knew that losing our jobs didn’t mean having to settle for pricey insurance or no insurance at all, would we behave differently? Would we come up with more bold ideas? You know, think outside the proverbial box? Would we speak up about sexual harassment? Complain about equal pay? Unionize? Use the craziest fonts ever on our slideshows? Start our own company like Jerry Maguire? Take more time off to care for our kids? Breathe a sigh of relief to know that our babysitters and other caregivers have their own care, too?

And ask yourself what you would do if you knew health care was a guarantee for everyone. What dreams would you chase?

Sarah Seltzer is a writer in New York City. She edits the parenting website Kveller.com.

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Tags Care, Freedom, Health, Mom, Universal, Women