Glamour asked me to talk about “going big” when it comes to romance. I’ve done a few things that you may have seen on social media—things that have gotten me plenty of teasing from my friends, as well as other husbands on the Internet who’ve said I’m making them look bad. It started when I put up some billboards for my wife, aka the “GMOAT” (greatest mom of all time), to celebrate her first tournament after having our daughter, Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr. I made a video showcasing her journey returning to tennis around the U.S. Open. And then there was that trip to Italy—she had a craving, so I delivered her to Venezia.
I get it; these are pretty extravagant gestures. But I think if you were to ask my wife, or many other people in relationships, it’s often the simpler things that are the most important. You have to show up. You have to be supportive. These are the things that matter.
I credit my parents with a lot of what I’ve learned about partnership and relationships. My father, who’s Armenian, and my mother, who came from what was then West Germany, met in Ireland and spent a whirlwind two weeks together. Even though my dad didn’t speak any German and my mom only spoke basic English, they fell in love. She followed my father to America and worked as an au pair, ultimately overstaying her visa, and actually living in the U.S. undocumented for a while until they got married. My mom had to hit reset on her whole life. In Germany, she was almost credentialed to be a pharmacist. Here in the U.S., she had to start over and get her GED while working a ton of service and restaurant jobs. Then she opted to work nights as a pharmacy technician—not a pharmacist—just so she’d be able to be around when I came home from school. Meanwhile, my father logged long hours to put food on the table and give us the best life he possibly could.
It wasn’t always easy, but my parents were partners in the truest sense. By watching them up close, I learned what it means to be supportive, how to make compromises without sacrificing yourself, and how to show up in the ways that matter. Whether it was being proud parents at my football games, or organizing family road-trips for weekend getaways to Civil War battlefields or antiquing (the former was my dad’s favorite, the latter my mom’s; at the time I found them boring, but appreciate those memories now). In short, I got the cheat code for partnership early on.
When Alexis Ohanian and Serena Williams took a selfie during a trip to Italy, Ohanian posted the picture to Instagram with the caption, “she wanted Italian for dinner, so…” The photo went viral, and helped earn him his reputation for “going big” when it comes to romance.
Courtesy of Alexis Ohanian
When you’re married to the GOAT, the logistics alone can make the act of physically “showing up” a challenge. Serena’s tennis schedule takes her all over the world, and my career also requires being on the road, whether it’s traveling to meet with founders, speaking at industry events, or spending time at my venture capital firm, Initialized’s home office in San Francisco. Comparing calendars isn’t romantic, but at the start of every year, Serena and I map out our schedules so ideally there isn’t more than a week that we go without seeing each other. I brought Google Calendar into her world so we could see each other’s schedules at any time, which would also make it easier to plan an impromptu call if we’re away from each other—a day without FaceTime is rough when you’ve been away from each other for two weeks.
My understanding of showing up and being present for my wife was taken to a whole new level when Olympia was born. I was able to take 16 weeks of paid leave from Reddit, and it was one of the most important decisions I’ve made. It helped that I was a founder and didn’t have to worry about what people might say about my “commitment” to the company, but it was incredible to be able to spend quality time with Olympia. And it was perhaps even more meaningful to be there for my wife and to adjust to this new life we created together—especially after all the complications she had during and after the birth. There is a lot of research about the benefits of taking leave, not only for the cognitive and emotional development of the child, but for the couple. However, many fathers in this country are not afforded the privilege of parental leave. And even when they are, there is often a stigma that prevents them from doing so. I see taking leave as one of the most fundamental ways to “show up” for your partner and your family, and I cherished all 16 weeks I was able to take.
Since I came back from leave, I’m less “full-time dad” and more what I like to call “business dad.” When Serena has an intense day of training or a photo shoot, I’ll spend the day with Olympia. I’m fortunate to be my own boss, which comes with the freedoms of doing things like bringing my daughter into the office, or working remotely from virtually anywhere Serena competes. My partners at Initialized are used to seeing Olympia jump on camera—along with Qai Qai—or hearing her babbling on a call. I tell them with pride, “Olympia’s at work today!” And I’ll post some photos on Instagram or Twitter so my followers can see it, too.
The more we normalize this—on social media and in real life—the better, because I know this kind of dynamic makes a lot of men uncomfortable (and selfishly I want Olympia to hear me talking about startups!). Research shows that men are happy to have successful wives—until it interferes with their own work. A full 50 percent of men expect their careers to take precedence over their wives’. I know this is real, because I’ve seen the tweets and comments about how being less successful (or doing what is traditionally considered “women’s work” and caring for your kids) can be “emasculating.” To me, that says more about the guy than anything else. If you need to make more money than your partner to have confidence, then I think there’s something more going on under the hood. If that’s where your swagger’s gotta come from, then it’s probably not real.
I know I’ve been successful in my career, but I’m not the one racking up the trophies. It helps that my wife and I both know what it takes to be successful and bring that mutual understanding, drive and relentlessness to the table. But at the end of the day sometimes her career really does have to come first. I try to be the most supportive partner I can be and to have conversations with her about her career goals and what she can do to reach them. Most of my talks with Serena about her career have come from a place of, “What do you want to be doing?” or “Where do you want to be?” and that’s not only in sport, but in life. She does the same with me. I’m far from perfect, but I try to get behind her and let her know I’m there for her and our daughter, no matter what.
“We’re raising what I hope will be an overachieving and strong daughter,” Ohanian says. “I’m excited to teach Olympia so many things, to have uncomfortable conversations with future boyfriends (I can’t wait for those). But most of all I hope she learns from what she sees between us—how I treat her mother, how we support each other. I hope that will be her blueprint.”
Courtesy of Alexis Ohanian
While I don’t have anything extravagant planned at the moment (or if I did, I wouldn’t tell you!), I will always try to show my wife how much I appreciate and support her. As an entrepreneur, one of my big mantras is to surprise and delight. I guess I’ve applied that in some way to romance, and if I can think of a way to top myself, I’ll keep pulling out the stops.
But the real scoop on “going big” for my wife would never go viral—it’s our simple Sunday tradition. Growing up, my dad would make pancakes every Sunday. They were delicious, but it wasn’t just about the food. It was about being together. So on Sunday mornings, I make breakfast for the family and it doesn’t cost me a thing, except for gluten-free flour (I had to modify Dad’s recipe a bit), some eggs, almond milk, a secret ingredient, and berries (Olympia loves raspberries). There are no phones, just conversation. And we’ll spend the day together lounging around the house, or playing hide-and-seek, or going for a swim in the pool. Just being a family on those days means so much to both of us—more than a billboard, a video montage, or a whirlwind trip to Italy. And before you ask: No, I won’t tell you my pancake recipe.
Alexis Ohanian is the co-founder and managing partner of Initialized Capital, an early stage venture firm based in San Francisco with over 100 companies in its portfolio, with over $22B in market value, and $508 million in committed capital under management. He’s also the co-founder of Reddit.
Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin’s whirlwind romance was one of the most buzzed-about celebrity stories in 2018. The couple became engaged in July after just a few weeks of dating, and by September they officially tied the knot at a New York courthouse. (A formal ceremony is still TBD.) Bieber and Baldwin open up about their relationship in Vogue’s March cover story and reveal a new tidbit of information, as well: They waited until marriage to have sex.
According to Vogue, Bieber was more than a year into “a self-imposed tenure of celibacy” when he and Baldwin started dating. His reasoning? He had a “legitimate problem with sex” and decided to forgo it to strengthen his relationship with God.
“[God] doesn’t ask us not to have sex for him because he wants rules and stuff,” Bieber tells Vogue. “He’s like, ‘I’m trying to protect you from hurt and pain.’ I think sex can cause a lot of pain. Sometimes people have sex because they don’t feel good enough. Because they lack self-worth. Women do that, and guys do that. I wanted to rededicate myself to God in that way because I really felt it was better for the condition of my soul. And I believe that God blessed me with Hailey as a result. There are perks. You get rewarded for good behavior.”
A desire to have sex is partially what prompted Bieber and Baldwin to quickly marry at the courthouse last fall—but they had other reasons, too. “When I saw her last June, I just forgot how much I loved her and how much I missed her and how much of a positive impact she made on my life,” Bieber says. “I was like, ‘Holy cow, this is what I’ve been looking for.’”
This confession effectively debunks any speculation Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin married because she was pregnant. In fact, it’s clear from this interview they both thought carefully before saying “I do.” “I prayed to feel peace about the decision, and that’s where I landed,” Baldwin tells Vogue. “I love him very much. I have loved him for a long time.” Read more of their candid interview over at Vogue.com.
Serena Williams‘ husband, Alexis Ohanian, does a very good job at reminding me that I’m single. When he bought four billboards just to profess his love for her, I remembered my crush hadn’t texted me back in days. When he posted a tribute to her right before the U.S. Open, I thought to myself, Wow! I absolutely cannot relate. And when he asked Williams about her edges on behalf of women on Twitter, I was reminded of the time a guy ghosted me in the park.
Now he’s at it again. In a new interview with Allure magazine, Williams reveals that she ultimately fell for Ohanian because he doesn’t “dim her light.”
Williams picked up this relationship barometer from Oprah Winfrey, who told her, “Never let anyone dim your light.” “That really stuck with me,” the tennis pro tells Allure. “Alexis doesn’t dim my light. He doesn’t try to dim my light. He puts me in the light, even if I don’t want to be. He pushes me to further points I never thought about. It always was something that I could see in some relationships—my light would be dimmer. Now I feel like I can shine really bright and still do everything that I want to do.”
Getty Images
She continues, “Not to knock anyone else I was with before, because they were all mostly amazing, but I know now I can be selfish, have a great career, and a great partner, someone that believes in me.”
It’s good that Ohanian realizes he’s in a relationship with the greatest athlete of all time and could never dim her light even if he tried. A marriage with someone who worships you that also allows you to be selfish sounds like the literal dream—and exactly what Serena Williams deserves.
For more of Allure‘s conversation with Williams, click here.
Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas have never been shy about sharing their love story on Instagram. So, it should come as no surprise that Chopra is making their marriage Instagram official just days after their multi-event wedding celebration in India last weekend.
A quick peek at her Instagram page reveals that the star’s name is now Priyanka Chopra Jonas. (Her actual handle is still @PriyankaChopra, unlike other recent celebrity bride Hailey Bieber who changed her handle as well.) As of now, it’s just a ‘Gram thing—her Twitter and Facebook pages have yet to be changed to include her new husband’s last name. And no word yet on whether Chopra will use her new name professionally in film and TV credits, the way, say, Jenna Dewan Tatum did during her marriage to Channing Tatum.
Check it out:
In case you (somehow) missed it, Chopra and Jonas got married last weekend in not one, but two, ceremonies celebrating both of their religious backgrounds—Christian and Hindu. “The emotions were running high during the ceremonies. I think especially during the Western wedding for me,” Jonas said of the big day. “You know, you think your whole life about that moment. Honestly, I could not have imagined it would be as perfect as it was. It was highly emotional.”
Chopra agreed. “It was all tears. All tears,” she said. “I could not hold it in. I think I was nervous and scared. But as soon as the curtains opened and I saw his face, it was just like everything settled and I knew I was making the best decision of my life.”
The couple said that they’re delaying their honeymoon for work obligations, but we’re glad to see that they’re already very much enjoying married life. Though, if we’re being totally honest, we wouldn’t have minded if Nick decided to take her last name instead. Nick Chopra sounds great, right?
It’s time to add another couple to the ever-growing list of major celebrity breakups this year. Cardi B took to her Instagram—because, of course she did—last night to announce that she and husband Offset have parted ways after a year of marriage. She posted a short video addressing the matter with the caption, “There you go…peace and love.”
“So, everybody been bugging me and everything. And you know, I been trying to work things out with my baby father for a hot minute now,” Cardi said. “We’re really good friends, and we’re really good business partners, but things just haven’t been working out between us for a long time.”
“And we’re really good friends, and, you know, we’re really good business partners, and, you know, he’s always somebody that I run to, to talk to, and we got a lot of love for each other, but things just haven’t been working out between us for a long time,” she continued. “And it’s nobody’s fault. It’s just like I guess we grew out of love. But we’re not together anymore. I don’t know, it might take time to get a divorce. And I’m going to always have a lot of love for him because he is my daughter’s father and yeah.”
Cardi B and Offset got married in September 2017 but managed to keep it a secret for months. “There are so many moments that I share with the world and then there are moments that I want to keep for myself,” she wrote on Twitter in June. “Getting married was one of those moments! Our relationship was so new breaking up and making up and we had a lot of growing up to do but we was so in love we didn’t want to lose each other.”
She gave birth to the couple’s daughter in July of this year and seemingly named her in honor of her father: Kulture Kiari Cephus. (Offset’s given name is Kiari Kendrell Cephus, and his rap trio Migos released two successful albums titled Culture and Culture II.)
Offset has yet to make a statement about the breakup other than to comment on Cardi’s video with the somewhat cryptic, “Y’all won.”
But the biggest event of the day? She officially changed her Instagram handle to @HaileyBieber, subtly confirming her marriage to the pop star. There’s nary a “Baldwin” to be found on her page, which now lists her full name as Hailey Rhode Bieber.
The couple’s engagement went public in July when Bieber confirmed the news on Instagram. “Was gonna wait a while to say anything but word travels fast,” the singer wrote on July 9. “Listen plain and simple Hailey I am soooo in love with everything about you! So committed to spending my life getting to know every single part of you loving you patiently and kindLY. I promise to lead our family with honor and integrity letting Jesus through his Holy Spirit guide us in everything we do and every decision we make.”
The mystery of the Baldwin-Bieber nuptials has been going strong since September when Baldwin and Bieber were spotted at a New York City courthouse and received a marriage license. But then it turned out they had actually gotten married at the courthouse—with a more traditional wedding for family and friends still to come.
“The city hall marriage was her idea. It was ‘you and me against the world,’” a source said at the time. “Let’s show [everyone] we’re serious and it’s not just some crazy fling.”
Fans on social media got very excited at the news of the Insta name change. “SHE CHANGED HER NAME TO HAILEY BIEBER IF YOU THINK MY HEART JUST BROKE INTO A THOUSAND PIECES YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT OMFG,” one wrote.
