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'Outlander' Season 3 Finale Recap: An Old Frenemy Meets a Grisly End and Claire and Jamie Wind Up in America


This article centers on Season 3, Episode 11 of Outlander, “Uncharted.” If you’re not yet caught up with the show, be warned: Spoilers abound.

It has been quite the season in time travel, wildly implausible adventure, and overly opportune coincidences, but what a time we’ve had. When this season began, Claire was unhappily married in Boston with dreary Frank. Jamie was languishing, injured, on the battlefield of Culloden. We poor viewers had to endure nearly half the season without Claire and Jamie having the hot sex we watch the show for. Claire and Jamie suffered through some things too—but mostly Jamie, because this show loves for him to endure trauma whenever possible. He does bear his burden well: still brawny, brash, and bold where a lesser man would have been broken. Claire raised their daughter Brianna and Jamie went and had a son with a woman who basically coerced him into having sex by manipulating her power and position over him. (We call this rape where I come from.) Lord John Grey fell in love with Jamie and they became besties despite the circumstances of their meeting, and then Grey did Jamie a solid by raising Jamie’s son, Willie, because it was in Willie’s supposed best interests to be raised as nobility. Jamie finally returned to his beloved Scotland and tried to move on with his life, and Claire decided she was tired of being a mother once Frank died and went back through the stones to find Jamie with no trouble at all. There were a few stumbles as Jamie and Claire got reacquainted, as well as an accidental murder and another wife and some booze smuggling and some treason and a kidnapping, but other than that, everything was fine and they were still very good at sex.

Now, here we are at the season finale.

The finale begins with a voiceover and Claire rhapsodizing about death and being at peace while sinking in a body of water. Before we can work out what’s going on there, we are back in Jamaica, with Claire in her carriage racing to Rose Hall to find Young Ian. When she arrives, she just starts wandering around calling for young Ian. Before she can find her nephew, a man grabs her.

Geillis, meanwhile, is interrogating young Ian, wanting to know why he didn’t tell her about Claire and what Claire really wanted with her treasure. Ian is telling her the truth, but for whatever reason, she doesn’t believe him. Ian, for his part, is fed up with Geillis and tells her to either believe him or kill him because he is tired of her “blathering.” We are too, young Ian.

PHOTO: David Bloomer

Claire is brought to Geillis and the two women circle each other warily. Claire explains that Jamie has been arrested and she needs shelter but makes no mention of her nephew. Geillis is happy to accommodate, if only to learn more about why Claire is in Jamaica.

Jamie, the luckiest and unluckiest man alive, is being led to the Porpoise by that baselessly arrogant “Captain” Leonard when the governor’s soldiers intervene. Of course they do. John Grey was not going to let the love of his life be swept away to Scotland to face certain death. Fergus basically saved the day by alerting John Grey of this development.

In the governor’s office, John Grey comes to the rescue once more in one of the strongest scenes of the season—well written, well acted, simply wonderful. John Grey demands that Leonard offer proof of some kind—a warrant, an affidavit—before he takes Jamie into custody but the lieutenant cannot. The most delicious moments are when John Grey insists on calling Leonard a lieutenant and talking shit about how Leonard did not really earn his present title of captain. Leonard protests mightily but he is outranked and outmatched by John Grey and leaves, pouting. Basically, the scene is a dick-measuring contest and we know who is bigger by the end. “Seems I’m indebted to you yet again for saving my life,” Jamie tells Grey once the matter is resolved. The men bid each other goodbye but sadly, they do not kiss passionately and we are all the lesser for it.

Back at Rose Hall, Claire is telling Geillis how she ended up in Jamaica but Geillis is convinced there is some detail Claire is omitting. She has it in her head that Claire has been chasing Geillis and trying to prevent the prophecy foretelling a Scotsman sitting on the Scottish throne from coming true. Claire explains that she actually went back to the future (heh) to raise her child but Geillis is reluctant to believe Claire would ever leave Jamie. Geillis remains unconvinced until Claire shows Geillis pictures of Brianna, whom Geillis instantly recognizes. Of course she does. Claire explains that Geillis met her daughter in 1968 and the two of them also watched Geillis go back through the stones as Claire tried to warn her frenemy about the witch hunts.

Finally satisfied, Geillis surreptitiously swipes one of Brianna’s pictures, apologizes profusely, and offers her home to Claire for as long as she needs. In her room, Claire realizes she is locked in and sees Ian, bound and gagged, being dragged away. She tries, in vain, to get out of her room, when suddenly the door opens. It’s Jamie, of course. So much of course. They head off in the direction of drumming and when they reach it, they find a group of Jamaicans performing some kind of religious ritual and dance. Claire recognizes the dance as similar to the one the women were doing at the stones of Craigh Na Dun in the first season. Willoughby, who just happens to be hanging out with new friends, tells the Jamaicans Claire and Jamie are with him and the Frasers are welcomed without further fuss.

Outlander Season 3 2017

PHOTO: David Bloomer

The Frasers aren’t the only couple in love. Willoughby and Margaret have, indeed, made a love connection. They are headed to Martinique where they can live out their lives in love. “She is the first woman to truly see me, the man that I am, and I see her,” Willoughby says. That’s sweet, but Jamie just wants to know if Willoughby has seen Ian. Willoughby asks Margaret to use her powers so she does. She reads Jamie and Claire and makes them both mighty uncomfortable. “Abandawe,” Margaret says at the end, which Claire remembers from their previous conversation.

Archibald Campbell shows up, interrupting things, demanding that Margaret go with him so he can continue exploiting and mistreating his sister for profit. For some reason, she is not at all interested, preferring to stay with the man she loves. Archibald mentions Mistress Abernathy, a.k.a. Geillis, and Jamie demands to know more. Archibald talks about a prophecy that will only come true upon the death of a 200-year-old baby. As he is talking, Claire realizes he is talking about Brianna. Now, the Frasers need to find Geillis before she kills their daughter conceived in the past but living in the future. Archibald tries to force Margaret to go with him, but Willoughby isn’t having it. He is Yi Tien Cho, and he is going to protect the woman he loves. Archibald tries to strike Margaret with a stick, but Yi Tien Cho comes between them. Before long, Archibald is dead and the Jamaicans are, I guess, using him as ritual sacrifice. It’s all very colonial fever dream, not so vaguely racist, and I honestly forced myself to let it go so I could continue with the episode.

The Frasers run through the jungle to Abandawe cave, which they find with no trouble at all. They are the world’s best navigators. In the cave, young Ian is bound and gagged, to be sacrificed, but Claire and Jamie can’t get to him because Geillis’s manservant Hercules points a gun at them. Geillis is basically raving mad at this point, talking about how Claire owes her Brianna’s life “for the greater good.” Claire realizes the shimmering pool of water in the cave is the portal through time. Geillis continues to rant and rave, and then all hell breaks loose. Jamie fights with Hercules while Claire, using a machete, basically chops Geillis’s head off. Pretty much all’s well that ends well. Jamie lets Hercules go but Claire is hypnotized by the portal and keeps stepping toward it until Jamie pulls her back and they leave the cave.

As I said last week, everything on this show comes full circle. While Jamie and young Ian reunite and Ian crows about how he knew Jamie would come after him, Claire is a bit traumatized. She recalls the 200-year-old body she and her pal Joe examined in future Boston. No matter, though. Jamie gives her a long strong hug, and she’s fine after that. As an aside, Claire has worn only one dress for half of the season, and I cannot stop thinking about it. There’s no way that dress would look as structurally sound as it does given everything it has been through.

Outlander Season 3 2017

PHOTO: David Bloomer

It’s time for the Frasers and friends to return to Scotland, so they get back on the Artemis. Even though Yi Tien Cho isn’t aboard, Jamie, mysteriously, is no longer suffering from seasickness because what is story continuity? Jamie and Claire are alone in their cabin and Jamie is about to shave his beard when Claire asks him not to. It’s always a good time for the Frasers to get down, so Jamie starts sexy talking and Claire is very receptive. It’s a charming scene, with chemistry, warmth and humor—the kind of scene this series would do very well to include more of as a balance to the constant drama trauma. Before long, the Frasers are making love, but we see very little of it for some, incredibly disappointing reason.

As the couple is enjoying the afterglow, a storm is coming. What starts out as a cool breeze and the comforting sound of rain is soon a terrible storm the Artemis cannot withstand. There’s lots of gale-force wind, pouring rain, shouting, and drama as the storm tosses the poor Artemis about the ocean. And then Claire disappears overboard in the storm and we are back where this episode began. Fret not, though. Jamie dives into the water, finds his beloved wife with no trouble at all, and kisses her as they float to the surface where, conveniently, the storm has largely subsided. Claire is unconscious and maybe dead and Jamie is bereft, but they cling to a piece of flotsam. When Jamie comes to, he is on a sandy beach, on a bright sunny day. He sees Claire and crawls to her and kisses her and his kiss brings her back to life! His lips are magic and so is the rest of him. The couple clings to each other and Claire says, “I told you I’d never leave you again.” As they make sense of their surroundings, a family comes upon them. The Frasers inquire as to the Artemis which, conveniently, ran aground just four miles away. The survivors are being cared for, and the Frasers are visibly relieved. Despite having company, they are still gazing at each other passionately. “What island is this?” Claire eventually asks and we learn the Frasers are on the “mainland, the colony of Georgia.” Yup, Outlander is headed to America for its fourth season. In a teaser trailer at the end of the episode, we see Claire talking about the American dream and who knows what will happen for the Frasers now. Hopefully, they will have a lot more sex. In 2018, we will find out.

Outlander Season 3 2017

PHOTO: David Bloomer

Overall, this season has been a mess—a watchable mess, to be fair, but a mess nonetheless. The first half of the season was so slow, then the second half of the season moved at a breakneck pace rushing toward tonight’s ending. Because of that rush, the season, as a whole, felt unbalanced. The production remains beautiful—the costumes, the acting, the scenery, everything is well done. The weakness here is in the story itself. I have no problem with time travel, passionate romance, and global adventure. I am willing to suspend my disbelief for all manner of incredible things. But at times this show demands not just the suspension of disbelief but the complete eradication. I want to be intrigued and surprised by a show, but I don’t want to find myself rolling my eyes more often than not. This season, there was a lot of eye rolling. I really do enjoy this show, and I will certainly be watching the fourth season and probably recapping it too, but my goodness, I hope the writing finds a bit more discipline regardless of the source material. My eyes don’t have much roll left in them.

Roxane Gay is the author of Bad Feminist, Difficult Women, and most recently, Hunger. She is also the author of World of Wakanda for Marvel and a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times.

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'Outlander' Season 3, Episode 8 Recap: Claire Meets Jamie's Other Wife and Things Get Bloody


This article centers on Season 3, Episode 8 of Outlander, “First Wife.” If you’re not yet caught up with the show, be warned: Spoilers abound.

I suppose it was all a bit too easy, Claire returning to the 18th century, finding Jamie in like five minutes, and falling into his perfectly sculpted arms on the way to a lifetime of great sex. Alas.

This week, Claire and Jamie learn that second chances don’t come easy. The Frasers return to Lallybroch with young Ian and receive a rather uncomfortable reception from Jenny and Ian Sr. who are, as you might expect, angry Jamie lied about having young Ian with him; angry Jamie had young Ian engaging in criminal pursuits; and bewildered Claire is still alive. There is a lot of anger in this episode. Jenny is particularly frosty toward Claire, referring to her as a “stray.” Jenny is either aggressive or passive aggressive to her sister-in-law for most of the episode, but she’s also pretty much the best part of it. Overall, it works.

We see how the Murray children have grown, some with children of their own, all running around Lallybroch as wildly indistinct scenery because they don’t get much screen time. One thing I’ve noticed about Outlander is that in trying to make each dense, plot-filled book into a thirteen-episode season, the show often feels rushed and unbalanced. There will be a chunk of episodes focusing on a given plot point while other plot points are dealt with in a scene or two. Because I haven’t read the books, I see neither the rhyme nor the reason to some of the show’s narrative choices.

That first night at Lallybroch, Claire and Jamie have a moment alone and Claire implores him to let her tell Jenny the truth of where she has been, but Jamie says Jenny has never left the farm and couldn’t handle the truth. He is wrong, obviously, because Jenny is awesome, but Claire concedes. Then Jamie tells Claire the story of how he escaped prison to go to Silkies Island searching for her on the word of Duncan Kerr, the feverish dying man who came upon the prison while Jamie was incarcerated earlier this season.

PHOTO: Aimee Spinks

In the story, Jamie swims through frigid cold water and though, to his despair, he doesn’t find Claire, he does find a small box of treasure—ancient coins and gems and so on. To be honest, it doesn’t look like much. He leaves the box there and returns to prison because the men there need him. “I wasn’t on an island but I was out there, wishing you’d come and find me,” Claire says. The couple continues saying deeply romantic things to each other and I started getting excited because I thought they were going to have sex. I was very, very wrong. There is no sex in this week’s episode, which means the grand reunion was…something of a letdown. I’m kind of worried there will be no more sex this season.

In the middle of this intimate moment, Jamie realizes he needs to come clean with Claire about his secret. But just as Jamie is about to spill, two girls burst into their room—the younger one, a redhead—both calling Jamie “Daddy.” They are followed by that horrible Laoghaire who accused Claire of witchcraft and almost had her killed during Season 1. Laoghaire is outraged, calling Claire “Sassenach witch,” and tells Claire she is Jamie’s wife.

Claire is just stunned and gasping and who can blame her? It’s one thing for Jamie to have gotten married. It’s another thing entirely for him to have married the one woman who has done such grievous harm. I cannot begin to fathom the why of Jamie’s second marriage and I know the show is going to give us some stupid explanation. This is what this show tends to do whenever something implausible happens. Something implausible happens every episode.

“We don’t have a bond that keeps people together,” Jamie tells his stepdaughter Joan, also explaining that he has such a bond with Claire, his first wife. The kid is like seven years old so I’m not sure why he’s acting like she gets it but okay. He also promises he will always look after Joan and her sister, before sending Joan home.

Up in their room, Claire is gathering her things. Jamie tries to explain himself, and we learn he is not the father of either of the girls (a total ye olde Maury episode). He married Laoghaire less than two years ago. Claire is having none of it and when Jamie says, “You’re the one who told me to be kind to the lass,” I personally ducked, in my apartment, even though this is just a TV show. There’s a reason women snap and it’s because men push them to the limit.

What follows is one hell of a fight. Jamie claims Claire left him twenty years prior. They both make clear they have suffered during their time apart and then Jamie is kissing Claire and she is slapping him and they’re wrestling and it’s kind of dodgy and kind of hot. Things are looking up! Jamie declares his undying love for first wife and they start tearing at each other. Just as they are finally about to do the dirty, Jenny throws water on them. Jenny is a consummate hater, an 18th-century cock blocker. And with that, any hope of carnality fades.

Outlander Season 3 2017

PHOTO: Aimee Spinks/STARZ

The next day, Jamie tries to stop Claire from leaving Lallybroch and vows to make things right. “I’ve only known one love in my life and that was with you,” he says. Someone should do a supercut of all the ways he declares his love. It’s so extra. Unfortunately, Laoghaire happens upon them as they’re talking, only now she has a gun and she’s going on about how Jamie is hers—and then the gun goes off. Jamie is shot in the shoulder, because of course.

Now it’s just like old times, Jamie injured in some way and Claire putting him back together. Claire immediately shifts into Doctor Mode and sets to digging the buckshot pellets out after Jamie self-medicates with whisky. Young Ian looks on and seems rather intrigued by the whole affair. Everything turns out fine.

When Jamie comes to, he finally explains why he married Laoghaire. The explanation is exactly as lame as I expected it to be. Basically, he was sad and lonesome. “I was a ghost,” he says. And then, during a Christmas party at Lallybroch, two young girls ask him to dance, and as he’s twirling about with the girls, he starts to feel something like joy. The girls are Laoghaire’s daughters, Marsali and Joan. One thing leads to another and he marries Laoghaire. It was a simpler time, I guess. Their marriage is kind of lousy but he has his stepdaughters and he gets to be a husband again, which is all he really wanted. Things don’t work out in the marriage bed because Laoghaire is scared of intimacy, probably because one of her previous husbands, of which there are two. “I couldn’t bear the thought of someone being afraid of my touch,” Jamie says, and that’s why he went to Edinburgh. Uh. Okay. Sure. As he’s talking, Claire realizes Jamie has a fever but fret not! She has some 20th-century penicillin.

Ned Gowan, the lawyer from Season 1, stops by Lallybroch. He informs the Frasers that Jamie’s marriage to Laoghaire is invalid because Jamie and Claire were married first. Take that, Laoghaire! Long story short, Laoghaire pitches a fit and wants alimony—twenty pounds and then ten pounds a year so she and her daughters can continue living in the style to which they have become accustomed. (Marital dissolution is the same in any century.) Claire, Jamie, Jenny, and Ian Sr. are trying to figure out how to pay such a vast sum but of course, there is a solution—the treasure Jamie found on Silkies Island. Of course! Young Ian will swim out to the island to fetch the small treasure chest and then he, Claire, and Jamie will go to France to sell the treasure for sterling and come back to Scotland with the money they need to get Laoghaire off their backs. The funniest part of this convolution is everyone acting like this is a. a reasonable plan and b. that it will work out fine.

Outlander Season 3 2017

PHOTO: Aimee Spinks

Now, at this point you might be thinking that for an episode of Outlander, this week’s goings-on mostly make sense. Don’t worry. There are still a few minutes left. As young Ian swims out to the island, Claire tells Jamie she’s not sure they should stay together anymore. She gets all emotional about how hard things have been since she came back to the 18th century. Blah, blah, blah. I honestly rolled my eyes. Like, could they not figure out what to have Claire and Jamie do while they waited for Ian to play fetch? This would have been a great moment for a sex scene, but no, the Frasers have to rehash their feelings for the umpteenth time. Jamie says pretty things again about how he and Claire are bonded for life. It’s a little predictable at this point. We’ve seen this scene about ten times over the past three episodes.

Before they can continue this dull conversation, a tall ship suddenly appears. Yes, the show introduces the bizarre curveball at the very end. Claire and Jamie start shouting to Ian who cannot hear them because he’s like a mile away. And it’s windy. Men from the tall ship row to the island and grab young Ian. Why? Who knows? Why are they even in the vicinity? Who knows? Come on. What are the chances? This is so improbable. I just cannot. What I can tell you is that the episode ends with young Ian being kidnapped and Claire and Jamie looking on from shore, helplessly, as the tall ship sails away. I’m pretty sure we’re not going to be in Scotland for much longer. In other words, there is no sex on the Outlander horizon. Je suis désolée.

Roxane Gay is the author of Bad Feminist, Difficult Women, and most recently, Hunger. She is also the author of World of Wakanda for Marvel and a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times.

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Adam Sandler Won't Stop Touching the Leg of 'The Crown' Actress Claire Foy


You would think that as powerful and creepy men have fallen over the course of the past year—experiencing retribution, if not legally, at least in reputation and career—that dudes would kind of sit up and realize that groping women and/or otherwise not waiting for an invitation to insert themselves into a woman’s personal space isn’t a good idea. In recent weeks in particular, there’s been a lot of fallout around former producer Harvey Weinstein as dozens of women have accused him of sexual assault and harassment. There’s also been hundreds of women coming out against director James Toback with similar allegations.

Let’s revisit the general gist of it all, in case it wasn’t clear: Don’t touch us without our consent.

Apparently Adam Sandler hasn’t gotten the message. On a Friday appearance on the U.K.’s Graham Norton Show, he kept nonchalantly—even obliviously—putting his hand on the thigh of The Crown star Claire Foy. She looks incredibly uncomfortable as the audience laughed (we’d like to think in sympathy with her plight) and removes his hand not once, but twice, putting it firmly back on his own leg.

Watch the cringe-y video below:

The two other actresses on the show sitting near Sandler, Emma Thompson and Cara Delevingne—who both came for Weinstein hard as allegations broke out—look at him with something close to disdain. Sandler later went on to touch Thompson’s leg, too.

We all know Sandler’s sense of humor isn’t exactly high-brow: he’s known for physical comedy and early ’90s “bro” humor that veers towards immaturity. But the 51-year-old treating a talented, 33-year-old actress as a casual landing pad for his hand is, at the very least, in incredibly poor taste, especially given the near-constant headlines surrounding sexual harassment and assault in the past weeks. Would Sandler, who is married to a woman, have done the same with male colleagues?

Many women are feeling especially sensitive and vulnerable about matters like this—for some, each new headline is a reminder of their own experiences—and tone-deaf actions like this are incredibly inappropriate.

A spokesperson for the actor said on Sunday that the resulting backlash was “blown out of proportion”—but that’s a response that polices the reaction of women are affected by what they saw. And it’s not OK for the male actor (literally, in this case) to dictate what their response should be.

Twitter wasn’t happy, either, remarking that Foy looked distressed:

On her end, Foy apparently brushed off the brush: a spokeswoman for her repeatedly told the Daily Mail, “We don’t believe anything was intended by Adam’s gesture and it has caused no offense to Claire.”

We’re glad she’s OK, but still, it’s an out-of-touch (no pun intended) gesture from Sandler—and the backlash is an indication that more and more people are less willing to put up with moves like that. Invading a woman’s personal space might have been the punchline of jokes 50, even 30 and 10 years ago, but now, in 2017, times have changed—and it’s time that men, even those who have made a career out of juvenile humor, grow up.

Related Stories:
–More Than 200 Women Have Accused This Hollywood Director of Sexual Harassment
–Selma Blair Says James Toback Once Made Her Read a Monologue While Naked
–Amber Tamblyn Writes Powerful Open Letter to Actor James Woods





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'Outlander' Season 3, Episode 6 Recap: Jamie and Claire Finally Reunite, and Yes, the Sex Is Fire


This article centers on Season 3, Episode 6 of Outlander, “Malcolm.” If you’re not yet caught up with the show, be warned: Spoilers abound.

This is the episode we’ve been waiting all season for and friends, I assure you, it does not disappoint. Our beloved Jamie and Claire reunite after twenty years apart, and yes, there is plenty of rousing sex, so let’s get right to it.

The episode opens with the same scene Episode 5 closed on—except this round, we see things from Jamie’s perspective. Jamie looks dapper and colonial, walking through Edinburgh on his way to work, tricorne and all. When he gets to his print shop, he hears men whispering and pulls out a blade before realizing it’s just two of his kinsmen who were sleeping a hard night off. Jamie gives them some treasonous pamphlets to deliver. As they leave, Geordie, Jamie’s apprentice, arrives for the workday. He’s the cranky sort and has a goiter, which can’t be pleasant in the 18th century. Jamie dispatches Geordie to get something for the press and look, I’m pretending to be interested in all this, but I’m not, and you’re not because it doesn’t involve Jamie and Claire, naked.

There Jamie is, wearing his cute little spectacles, preparing to print something—omg who cares—and he calls out to Geordie when he hears the door open. (We know who it really is.) A lady’s delicate voice says, “It isn’t Geordie. It’s me, Claire.” Slowly, Jamie turns around, looks up at his long lost wife beaming down on him, and does what you might expect—passes out!

When he comes to, Jamie still can’t believe it’s really Claire. They gaze at each other and then Jamie is on his feet because his pants are wet (worry not; he did not “piss himself”). He starts to take off his pants and is suddenly modest, but Claire reminds him that they are, you know, married. After he takes off his pants and they say words at each other, Jamie says, “I would very much like to kiss you. May I?” Claire breathes, “Yes,” because of course, and Jamie says, “I have not done this in a very long time,” and finally their lips lock and it’s a moment. (We know it’s a moment, because the score rises loudly and unnecessarily—we were already deep in our feelings. Thanks, composer!)

Sadly, they do not continue disrobing to have sex right then and there. There is so much sadness in the world.

PHOTO: Aimee Spinks/STARZ

Their kiss is interrupted by Geordie returning from his errand. When he sees his boss and Claire in the throes of tongue wrestling, Geordie, disgusted, declares that he quits. Jamie needs a new pair of pants, and I certainly disagree with that. Jamie needs no pants, ever, but fine, whatever. He heads to the back room but insists Claire go with him. It’s as if he can’t really believe she’s there, with him, in the flesh. Believe it, Jamie! It’s all about to go down.

Like a good father, Jamie asks about Brianna and seems glad that his daughter knows who he is. Claire shows him pictures, quickly explaining that photographs aren’t the devil’s work, just the product of a thing called a camera. They talk about their child, and I suppose it’s all very sweet and tender. Claire tells Jamie she’s a surgeon, and he says, “You always were one. Now you have the title to go with it.”

Jamie shares that he has a son, “Willie,” and all Claire needs to know is, “Did you love his mother?” to which Jamie says no. They discuss Frank, very briefly because he’s dead and no one but his sidepiece likes Frank. All of the talk is shy and tentative; really what they are trying to gauge is if there will be anyone in the way of their reunion. GREEN MEANS GO, JAMIE & CLAIRE! GREEN MEANS GO! THE LIGHT IS GREEN!

Suddenly, Jamie remembers he has an appointment, and he and Claire head to a tavern. On the way, they run into Fergus, who is delighted to see Claire. He’s quite grown up and handsome now. Fergus needs to talk to Jamie about a Mr. Willoughby. They step aside and Fergus says, “What about?” implying that there’s something we do not yet know. We’re not going to figure it out in this episode, though, so let’s just worry about all that later.

At the tavern, Mr. Willoughby is in a bit of trouble because he licked a barmaid’s elbow without paying her. Things were not so different in the 1800s, I guess. While Claire and Willoughby get to know one another, Jamie goes off to a dark cellar to talk to Sir Percival, an Englishman who thinks none too highly of Jamie and to whom Jamie pays some kind of tax for selling something on “High Street.” Jamie is obviously up to some kind of illegal hustle, and the show is setting up the next major plotline, so I reckon we’ll have to keep an eye on this.

As their day ends, the Frasers go to a brothel where the Madame Jeanne, the proprietress, is none too pleased to learn Jamie has a wife. Jamie lives in the brothel and Claire is quietly seething. She asks if he’s living there because he’s such a good customer but Jamie assures his wife that Madame Jeanne is his customer, and the brothel is just a comfortable place to lay his head. As one does.

If you can believe it, this couple still has more questions before getting it on. “Sassenach, why have you come back?” Jamie asks, wanting to know if Claire is just passing through to let him know about Brianna or if she is there to be his wife. They talk more, and holy hell, all of this preamble is excruciating. Sure, it’s kind of romantic and true to what a reunion after twenty years would look like, but just as we have waited for six episodes, we’re now being forced to wait still longer within the episode. Jamie and Claire continue to reassure each other that the fire still roars between them. Still no sex, though, because now it is time for dinner.

After dinner—and yet more catching up—finally, FINALLY, Jamie invites Claire to bed, and she accepts his invitation. I accept his invitation. We all accept his invitation. They stare lovingly into each other’s eyes and start undressing as a fire crackles in the background. (The score is back to reminds us that they are about to bone. Bone tones. HA!) We are also painfully reminded that in ye olde times, people wore quite a lot of layers with complicated systems of fastening and closure. My god.

Jamie Claire Fraser Sex Outlander 306

PHOTO: Aimee Spinks/STARZ

When they are finally unwrapped, Claire is nervous as hell. Jamie reassures her, “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” You would think they would be getting down to it, but first they blabber a bit more about their wedding night. When they do kiss and fall onto the bed, Jamie practically breaks Claire’s nose. They try again and bump awkwardly again, and at this point the show is just being cruel but fine because once Jamie and Claire get going, it’s great. After she is revved all the way up, Claire orders, “Do it now and don’t be gentle.” Jamie does as he is told. It’s incredibly hot and breathy and grunty, and Claire and Jamie are both assured that they’ve still got it. High fives all around.

As far as I’m concerned, they should spend the rest of the episode in bed having incredible sex because that’s why I watch this show, but alas, I did not write this episode. They blabber some more during the afterglow, reaffirming their mutual admiration and sexual compatibility. Claire also tries to figure out what Jamie really does to make a living. Given the outstanding condition of his body, he is not merely working as a printer. She runs through some disreputable career options, but Jamie remains coy. He admits to being a traitor, arrested for sedition “six times in the past two years.” After a bit more cajoling, he also admits he’s a booze smuggler.

Thankfully, they stop talking and start having sex again, slower this time, now that the primal urge has been somewhat satisfied.

Then it’s time for more love talk. Claire asks Jamie, “Did you ever fall in love with anyone else, after I left?” and he says, “No, Sassenach. I never loved anyone but you.”

Reassured for the umpteenth time, Jamie and Claire start making love yet again (praises!). There’s a knock on the door because breakfast is ready, but Jamie sends the food away. Claire asks, “Don’t you want to eat?” and Jamie grins, while sliding down Claire’s body because he knows where breakfast is really at: between a woman’s thighs.

When they have finally satiated themselves, Jamie leaves Claire in bed because he has to go handle some smuggler business. While she is lounging, Ian Murray, Claire’s nephew, shows up and they have a mini-family reunion. It’s kind of hilarious how everyone handles Claire’s return with bemusement more than shock.

Claire heads downstairs to find some food and sits down to eat with some of the women working at the brothel who mistake Claire for the new girl. It’s a charming, bawdy little scene where they discuss bathing techniques, birth control methods, and how to get a customer off fast. Unfortunately, Madame Jeanne interrupts and doesn’t at all appreciate Claire dining with the women. There’s something going on with the madam—perhaps she has feelings for Jamie, who knows.

When Claire returns to her room, there’s trouble—a man waiting, threatening Claire and wanting to know where Jamie’s ledgers are. She orders him to get out but he is unmoved, grabbing her by the throat—a strange way to end such a lovely episode. This show will never stop relying on the imperiled woman as a plot device and it’s particularly infuriating to do so at the end of an episode filled with such love, passion, and overall sexiness. It’s as if the show is determined to remind viewers that women on this show are never, ever safe. There are some things, I guess, that cannot be escaped, not even in fantasy.

Roxane Gay is the author of Bad Feminist, Difficult Women, and most recently, Hunger. She is also the author of World of Wakanda for Marvel and a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times.

Watch Claire and Jamie’s reunion—at last!—here:

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