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This Backpack Changed My Adult Life—And Now I Can't Live Without It


When I moved to Berlin in 2016, I had no idea about how to schelp my stuff for a full day in the city. I had been living in St. Louis, where everything I needed could be thrown in the back of my Honda CR-V. I could go between different neighborhoods, grabbing what I needed for each from the back seat. I had been spoiled by the convenience of having a car. But that wouldn’t be the case in Germany.

At nine times the size of Paris, Berlin is huge. And I’m a freelance writer with a Class Pass-style gym membership and a passion for finding the best flat whites to knock down while I work. That means that when I head out for the day, I head out—“swinging by” my apartment just to pick up something isn’t a thing.

For a year, I lugged around a New Yorker tote (I know), overflowing with gym clothes, a small bag of post-spin makeup, my laptop, my charger, a portable phone battery, a bulky European adapter, and an array of little things that I might need throughout the day. (Did you know that the approximate 6 lbs. a woman’s bag weighs on average?) I began to notice my posture take a hit—my left shoulder (which I carried the tote on) was always slightly slouched, and I often caught myself in a shrug position to counter the weight. Yoga helped for a minute, but by the following morning, it would all come back. So, I finally broke down: Fine. I’ll get a fucking backpack.

I had honestly never thought of wearing backpacks as an adult. I still felt haunted by the paranoia that my backpack was making the back of my skirt ride up and I was accidentally flashing people. Plus, to me, they always felt much too sporty for my typical look (dark lipstick, Doc Martens, floral wrap dresses.) I still feel ambivalent about athleisure. But looking around Berlin, it seemed like everyone had embraced backpacks—Germans are all about health and practicality, and a ton of people ride bikes, so it makes sense for the lifestyle. I started looking around on the subway, eyeing the tags on the backpacks I liked to educate myself on brands. Then, one day, I went to my favorite I-want-everything homeware store in Kreuzberg, and left with a $95 backpack from Rains that I’ve been wearing ever since. Approximately half of the people in my neighborhood also own my Rains backpack of choice—seriously, I can’t go anywhere without spotting someone with the same style.

I love that its matte black finish is both stylish (it goes with everything) and practical (waterproof.) I never have to worry about my laptop getting wet or lost, and the outer is super easy to wipe clean. It holds several days’ worth of groceries, or enough clothes for a 10-day trip—I know from experience, since I’ve brought it with me on trips to New York, Sydney, Abu Dhabi, London, Reykjavík, and southern Italy. Minus a slightly bent strap-latch, it’s held up remarkably well.

I’m not alone in my conversion: According to a recent Forbes report, women are buying fewer handbags (8 percent less in 2017 than the year before) and, seemingly more backpacks (purchases by women are up 15 percent, while they’re down 5 percent among men and and 15 percent among children.) Sure, sometimes the backpack life can be frustrating—like when I forget my keys in the bottom and have to unpack everything in the stairwell of my apartment to get into my flat—but that’s a me-problem, not a backpack-problem. My dress doesn’t ride up, because I’m no longer a fresh-eyed 13-year-old trying to wear their backpack low like the cool kids (so that was the problem!); instead, I’m a jaded 28-year-old with the posture issues of someone of more advanced years. This backpack is my savior; this backpack can do no wrong. And yes, my shoulders are feeling much, much better.

Shop the backpack that changed it all for me and nine like it, ahead.

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Emma Stone on the 'Gross' Way Wearing a Corset For a Role Changed Her Body


If you’re eyeing a period costume for Halloween this year, heed Emma Stone‘s advice from the set of her latest film: Skip the historically accurate corset, no matter how historically accurate it may be.

Stone appeared on The Graham Norton Show show to promote her new film, The Favourite, in which she plays a member of Queen Anne’s court in 18th-century England. Getting into character apparently required that Stone wear a corset during filming, which had some unintended consequences. According to the actor, the corset caused her internal organs to move in her body—and it was very unpleasant.

“After about a month, my organs shifted because they have to,” Stone said in the interview. Her costumes, she said, pushed her organs far away from her ribs, and changed the shape of her body. “It was only temporary, but it was gross.” You can hear her describe the transformation in a clip from her interview, below.

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Shaping her body to 18th-century standards was a miserable experience for Stone. “It’s historically accurate, but I couldn’t fucking breathe!” she said of her costume. She developed a maneuver for making the corset feel somewhat wearable: She’d sniff menthol to calm down and think of “open spaces” while wearing it.

Stone joked about the effects of wearing a corset day in and day out—making it her first “corset role”—for filming. “It gives a new meaning to ‘my heart’s in my throat,'” she laughed. It also made her thankful for changes in women’s fashion since the 1700s—specifically, doing away with devices that shape women’s bodies to unrealistic standards.

“Women existed in that for such a long time and it does give you a lot of sympathy for that time period, what you were going through,” she said.

Stone says her organs have, thankfully, “gone back” to their usual positioning since wrapping the film and taking off her corset for good. Even with coping tactics, Stone doesn’t recommend wearing a corset—ever.

“If you don’t have to, don’t do it,” she said. Noted.

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The $8 Hair Clips That Changed My Face Washing Routine


Embarrassing confession: It took me a solid two decades to come up with a bedtime face washing routine that I actually stick to every night. During my teen years, I didn’t wear a lot of makeup, and for some reason I thought that excused me from nightly cleansing on the regular. (This may or may not have had something to do with the acne plaguing my jawline in those days.) During college, egged on my skin-obsessed roommate, my habits marginally improved.

Still, for most of my twenties I subscribed to school of “splash some water and hope for the best.” Shameful, I know—and I’ve since reformed—but, surprisingly, it wasn’t maturity or even a miracle skin care product that finally made me change my ways. It was a pack of $8 hair clips from Amazon.

My sister was the one who made the recommendation: She’s a stylist and encouraged me to buy them so I could better blow-dry my own hair. But while the clips work great for sectioning, they also made me realize something about why I wasn’t doing as good a job as I should about washing my face. I have forever had really long hair that I mostly wear down; I hate pulling it back, and the only time it’s ever up is when I’m at the gym. Part of the problem is that even if it’s just up for a minute, I wind up with a kink where the ponytail holder was. But the truth is that, even in the privacy of my own bathroom mirror, it’s just not a look I like.

Here’s the thing though: I don’t mind clipping it smoothly away from my face. It makes me feel like I’m about to get a fancy facial. Which in turn makes me more excited, and thorough, with the actual cleansing. Somehow the clips turn a chore into something that feels a little elegant.

I keep the them in a jar in the medicine cabinet and pull them out morning and night, fastening several close to my hairline to smooth back flyaways. Then I use another clip to twist up the back so that it doesn’t tumble into the sink. From there it’s wash (I use La Roche Posay Toleriane Hydrating Gentle Cleanser), maybe exfoliate (La Roche Posay again, the ultra-fine scrub) and Neutrogena’s Hydro Boost Gel Cream in lieu of a layer of heavy moisturizer. I leave the clips in for awhile so nothing sticks to my skin, and when I take them out my hair is back to business as usual, down my back, and I climb into bed feeling like Sleeping Beauty.

The best part: I’ve used them pretty much every day for the past year and it’s had an incredible impact on my skin. It’s clearer and dewier than it used to be, even though I’m still pretty much using all the same products on it that I always have. For some reason, adding clips into my routine has turned it into a daily ritual I look forward too, which means that I’m also attentive to areas of my face that might have been overlooked before.

I get all the way to my hairline and can just generally see myself more clearly, which has meant better care for my skin overall—and more consistency has meant fewer breakouts. So sure, technically hair clips aren’t a face washing tool. But they’ve definitely improved my technique. Who knows what would have happened if I had discovered this hack 20 years ago? I’d call that $8 well spent.

Metal Alligator Hair Pins, $8, amazon.com

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Justin Hartley: 'This Is Us' Changed Me As a Father


Before I was cast on This Is Us, I was at a point in my career where I had done pilot after pilot after pilot, pouring my heart and soul into shows that just weren’t working. You find yourself not knowing where you’re going to work geographically, whether it’s New York or Toronto or Vancouver, or wherever. I have a daughter, and I wasn’t getting any younger, so I thought, I want a job at home in L.A. that I’m proud of and can see my daughter every single day and be happy.

Then a fellow actor friend of mine sent me the script for This Is Us and said, “Dan Fogleman just wrote you in a pilot.” I remember reading the part of Kevin and thinking, “Oh my God, he thinks that’s who I am?” Kevin’s in a spot where he’s being perceived in a certain way by the people around him, but it’s the opposite of the way he sees himself. I was going through a bit of that as well. My friend didn’t mean to hurt my feelings by comparing me to Kevin, but it did hit home for me. I saw Kevin as a guy surrounded by people who tell him how great he is, yet he feels completely alone. Kevin and I are different, but we’ve both gone through pain and suffering. Everyone’s had pain.

This season, the Pearson kids lose their father at that age when they need him. How do you make up for that absence? In a weird way, This Is Us makes you want to stay alive as long as you can. Life is delicate. My daughter is 13—so, I slow everything down. We took a flight recently, and I had a conversation with her that I thought was really important. I said, “I just want you to know some things…indulge me for five minutes.” We just had a really nice, slow conversation. It wasn’t any new information, just things I thought she should know.

In a weird way, This Is Us makes you want to stay alive as long as you can.

When she saw Kevin really suffering this season, she would call me after those heavy episodes if we weren’t together. Two scenes that come to mind are when Kevin was on the football field crying and at Jack’s tree, when Kevin’s talking to his dad. She wanted to hear my voice and make sure everything was OK. She said, “That didn’t look like acting.” It was a lot for her, and I wasn’t even sure she should watch that. It made her think, like it would for anyone, what would you do it you lost your mom or your dad? At a young age, it’s not supposed to happen that way. So, she checks in and wants to hear my voice and make sure I’m not crying and OK.

I get it, because I’ve been affected by things that Kevin has done. I get lost in the moments. When I did that scene with Milo—[Ed note: When Kevin hallucinates thinking Jack is on stage giving him an award]—I think of my daughter. I think about how much I’ve taught her and what a sliver it has been so far. I think of all the things I want to teach her and see her go through. I want to walk her down the aisle. I want to be there when her kids are born. I want to call her when her boyfriend breaks up with her, or talk her through a breakup. I want to teach her how to drive. All this stuff. I want to take her to college and make sure she knows everything is OK and I’m only a phone call away. I want to pick her up from college and bring her home. I want to be there at the airport.

Can you imagine missing all of that? So, for me, that’s what I was tapping into when I was doing those scenes with Milo as Jack. To imagine Kevin being in a place where if he can experience just one more embrace…you just want one more little moment.

I try to make sure my daughter has a great relationship with her grandparents, her stepmom, her mom, and her friends. I’m trying to give her every single thing that I never had—and I had a good childhood. I just want to make sure she has all those things and keeps her feet on the ground.

I love my own dad very much; he’s a fair man, but he’s a hard man. I think he does the opposite sometimes of what I do with my daughter. I will praise, praise, praise her, and he’s old school. He comes from that old school generation where it’s like, I’ll let you know when something’s wrong and maybe pat you on the back every once in a while. You know when you’re doing good. I don’t need to tell you. I can tell that he’s proud, and he’s said as much. But up until this role, I don’t think he’s seen me do anything like this. I can tell that he’s a little bit shocked. So the fact that he thinks This Is Us is the best show on television…to me, that’s really cool.

PHOTO: Disney Parks

I pull from both of my parents and try to be as loving as I can with my daughter, but also understand we’re not always going to be best friends. I don’t remember the last time I got upset with her. It’s hard to get upset when they do so many things right. I want her to enjoy her life, but also make the right decisions. There are things I could circumvent to make sure she doesn’t go down the wrong path, but you have to make mistakes too. I don’t know how to be a kid anymore, so I’m kind of learning from her as well. They have it tough. There’s a lot going on with social media. Everything has changed. But it’s a team effort. Hopefully, I help her be a better kid. That’s my job.

I’ve always been a really sensitive guy, but I hope This Is Us slowed me down a little bit. I try not to focus on the things that are out of my control, which is most things. I certainly don’t worry about things the way I used to. It’s nice to be part of something that proves what you thought you could do for years, and then you finally get a chance to do it. To be given the opportunity to do something and go, “This is what I’ve been telling people forever that I can do”…well, that’s awesome. And now I better do it.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.



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13 TV Shows That Changed Everything For LGBTQ+ Representation


Slowly but surely, TV shows are doing a better job at depicting the full scope of the varied LGBTQ+ experience on screen. Things started out small, with shows like Will & Grace and Glee showing slices of queer identity, and now sitcoms, dramas, and everything in between have expanded that showcase, dedicating themselves to getting representation right. The proof: Pose, FX’s new series that premieres Sunday, June 3, features the largest company of transgender actors ever on a single show. That’s huge.

But we didn’t get there overnight. These 13 TV shows, below, did more than just move the dial forward when it comes to LGBTQ+ representation on screen. They broke down the doors. In honor of Pose—and Pride Month kicking off June 1—let’s take a look back. Because really, that’s the only way to move forward.

The Corner Bar

PHOTO: Courtesy Everett Collection

The Corner Bar was a blip-on-the-radar sitcom, airing on ABC from June 1972 to September 1973, but it contains an extremely important character in queer TV history: Peter Panama, a set designer, played brilliantly by Vincent Schiavelli. Peter is widely considered to be the first recurring gay character to ever appear on television; he was so entertaining, though, he should’ve been a series regular.

L.A. Law

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Actresses Amanda Donohoe and Michele Green broke new ground on a 1991 episode of L.A. Law when their characters kissed, the first-ever female-female kiss on network television.

The Real World

MTV REAL WORLD: SAN FRANCISCO, (l-r): David 'Puck' Rainey, Rachel Campos, Cory Murphy, Pam Ling, Moh

PHOTO: ©MTV/Courtesy Everett Collection

Equally as pioneering was Pedro Zamora’s involvement in The Real World: San Francisco. He was one of the first gay men living with AIDS to be featured on television, and what’s more: His commitment ceremony to boyfriend Sean Sasser was the first same-sex union broadcasted on television. Zamora died at 22 years old in Miami, Florida, from AIDS-related issues.

Friends

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Friends didn’t feature the first same-sex marriage on network television, but it did have the first lesbian one. Yes, before Carol and Susan said, “I do!” on a 1996 episode of Friends, no one had ever seen two women tie the knot on a show. “It was the first lesbian wedding to ever be shown on TV and they blocked it out in some affiliates,” Jane Sibbett, who played Carol, explained on Lorraine. “But it all worked out as we got so much press because they blocked it. We actually won awards for that storyline.” Awards, and an important slot in LGBTQ+ history.

Relativity

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After Ellen dubbed the kiss between Lisa Edelstein and Kristin Dattilo on this short-lived ABC drama the first “real” lesbian kiss, and that’s not an inaccurate statement. One of the characters on L.A. Law in 1991 was straight, but this scene from Relativity marks the first time two female characters who identified as either lesbian or bisexual shared a passionate, open-mouthed kiss on screen.

Queer as Folk

QUEER AS FOLK, (from left): Randy Harrison, Gale Harold, 2000-05. © Showtime Network / Courtesy: Eve

PHOTO: ©Showtime Networks Inc./Courtesy Everett Collection

This Showtime drama is important for many reasons. First and foremost, it’s an addictive series about complex, nuanced queer characters. More notably, though, it was the first hour-long American show to solely focus on the lives of LGBTQ+ people.

Ellen

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Ellen DeGeneres ventured into uncharted territory in 1997, when her character on Ellen (her popular, self-titled sitcom) came out. It marked the first time a character ever publicly declared out loud, “I’m gay” on television.

Will & Grace

SEAN HAYES & CHER WILL & GRACE : SEASON 4 (2001)

PHOTO: AF archive / Alamy Stock Photo

Will & Grace doesn’t have any “firsts,” really. Well, that’s not true; it does contain the first-ever Cher fever dream sequence (see above). What’s so trailblazing about Will & Grace was how normal it was; it featured two gay men at the center who were happy, well adjusted, and successful—for the most part. It was radical back then—especially on network TV—to see gay people just living their lives without having any internal turmoil about being gay.

Queer Eye

1

PHOTO: Courtesy of Netflix

First, there was the 2003 Bravo show, and now we have the Netflix reboot. Both are alike in many ways, but what they share above all is the pure desire to close the queer-straight gap. Granted, the OG version gets the credit for doing this first, but Netflix is certainly carrying the torch nicely.

Noah’s Arc

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Noah’s Arc became Logo TV’s first scripted series when it debuted in 2005. The comedy-drama featured a largely POC cast, which was particularly refreshing in the early 2000s, when almost all the queer characters in pop-culture were white. To be honest, it’s refreshing in 2018—a time when queer characters are still, for the most part, white, cisgender, and male.

Modern Family

JESSE TYLER FERGUSON & ERIC STONESTREET MODERN FAMILY (2009)

PHOTO: AF archive / Alamy Stock Photo

ABC’s dedication to depicting a loving, nurturing household with two gay men—Cam (Eric Stonestreet) and Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson)—is what makes Modern Family so special, even nine years after its first episode.

The L Word

THE L WORD, (from left): Katherine Moennig, Mia Kirshner, 'Leaving Los Angeles', (Season 6, ep. 604,

PHOTO: ©Showtime Networks Inc./Courtesy Everett Collection

This long-running Showtime series is the first to feature nuanced lesbian protagonists. Before this show, women kissing women was often a shock vehicle on screen: something done to get people talking and to boost ratings. The L Word, however, was dedicated to showing the lives of its characters in an authentic way.

Orange Is the New Black

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK, Laverne Cox, (Season 2, aired June 6, 2014). photo: Ali Goldstein /

PHOTO: ©Netflix/Courtesy Everett Collection

Orange Is the New Black is one of the most diverse TV shows running right now, and one of its most impressive accomplishments is garnering Laverne Cox an Emmy nomination in 2014. For her portrayal of Sophia Burset, Cox became the first openly transgender person to receive a nomination from the Television Academy.

Pose

PHOTO: FX

All these TV shows bring us to Pose, Ryan Murphy’s new summer series on FX about New York City’s ball culture in the 1980s. It features the largest cast of transgender actors ever for a TV show. “We are thrilled that Pose pushes the narrative forward by centering on the unique and under-told experiences of trans women and gay people of color,” Pose co-creator Steve Canals said. “Ryan has assembled a strong team of storytellers and innovators to collaborate on telling this important narrative. As a Bronx-bred queer writer of color, I’m honored to aid in ushering this groundbreaking show into homes.”

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My Bishop, Most Rev. Michael Curry, Just Changed the History of Royal Weddings—Here's Why His Sermon Matters


Months of anticipation culminated with the royal wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle in Windsor on Saturday. There was much discussion regarding whether Meghan, an American-born biracial actress, would honor her African-American heritage during the festivities. It was impossible to escape conversations about race and the royal family as Prince Harry and Meghan’s marriage signaled a new day for the monarchy.

Speculation would prove futile: The couple ensured the introduction of Blackness into the royal family would not go unnoticed. Participating in the wedding ceremony were Rev. Rose Hudson-Wilkin, the first Black woman to hold the office of Chaplain to the Queen; Bishop Anba Angaelos, the Egyptian-born first Coptic Orthodox Archbishop of London; and Sheku Kanneh-Mason, the first Black cellist to win BBC’s Young Musician of the Year. A gospel choir sang “Stand By Me” and ended the ceremony with a medley of “This Little Light of Mine” and the Black church benedictory staple “Amen.”

Yet, one of the most poignant moments came during the wedding homily. When it was announced that the Most Right Rev. Bishop Michael Curry, presiding Bishop of the American Episcopal Church, would deliver the sermon, sheer joy was expressed by members of my church and those of us who love him. Bishop Curry began his ministry in my hometown of Winston-Salem, North Carolina, at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church and has been a powerful presence in my life. I am among many he has mentored and guided as we navigate finding our voices and place in the fight for justice. He continues to push one of the nation’s oldest and largest denominations to be even more progressive on issues such as gender equity in leadership, full LGBTQ inclusion, prison reform, and gun control. A strong proponent of human rights and social justice, he continues to be one of the leading progressive theological voices in America.

For a little more than 13 minutes, Bishop Curry reminded those in St. George’s Chapel and around the world of the radical and transformative power of love. He movingly stated that “there is power in love,” and “our lives are meant to live in that love.” One day after school shootings in the American cities of Santa Fe, Texas and Atlanta, Georgia—and days after the killing of many Palestinian protesters in Gaza—the world’s lack of love is palpable. Before one of the world’s great superpowers (two if you count how many Americans watched alongside Brits), Bishop Curry prophetically spoke to the truth that justice is rooted in love. When he reminded us of Jesus’s words, we were challenged to acknowledge that we cannot fully celebrate the love between Meghan and Prince Harry if we cannot commit to loving our neighbors as ourselves.

But this is what Bishop Curry does: He lovingly challenges us to remember our interdependence and responsibility to create just worlds that will enable us, as he said, to “treat each other like we are actually family.”

In a moment where Bishop Curry represented the boldness of progressive theology, he also brought the best of the Black preaching tradition. Though Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church, he often recalls attending Baptist services with his grandparents as a child. It was in those spaces where Bishop Curry learned the mechanics of Black preaching. While many in attendance and watching might have found it unorthodox, his cadence and delivery was reminiscent of what most Black people experience every Sunday morning. In fact, had Bishop Curry preached that same sermon the next day in a Black church with a Hammond B3 organ, hands would be raised, shouts would fill the air, and more than a few would be in the aisles dancing. In short, he preached.

Black preaching is never without emotion: It leans into the depths of African Americans’ relationship with a God who has sustained and continues to sustain them throughout turbulent social times. Black faith is rooted in the belief that love ultimately triumphs over all forms of hatred, and when African American preachers stand within that trajectory, they shine. In fact, I would argue that it is Bishop Curry’s roots in the Black church that ground his social justice ministry—much like someone else we know.

Bishop Curry stands in the lineage of Black prophetic preachers like the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Bookending his homily with Dr. King’s words, Bishop Curry reminded us that Black preachers have always challenged the world to be better. In December 1964, in St. Paul’s Cathedral in London, Dr. King himself preached that a love for humanity is one of “the three dimensions of a complete life.” In the 50th year since his assassination, the world has sought to remember and honor Dr. King. Much has included a revisionist history of America’s relationship with him. While Dr. King remained steadfast in his belief that love could change the world, it was not well received and, ultimately, led to his death.

Yet Bishop Curry reminded that the revolutionary call for us to love remains clear. And in his invocation of Black America’s ancestors, those who were enslaved in the antebellum South, he reminded us that this call to love, to confront bigotry and hatred, has always come most clearly from those whose voices are often stifled and silenced by many of the empirical powers represented in that sanctuary.

The excitement of celebrating the love between the royal couple is magnified by the delight in what it means for a revolution in the British monarchy and, quite possibly, the world. The wedding that introduced the world to the first Black Duchess of Sussex also prominently reminded that same world of the healing and prophetic power that comes from lifting Black voices. It was an intentional centering that the royal family—and all who witnessed this beautiful day—will not soon forget.



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