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Clit Orgasm Tips for Partner & Solo Clitoral Stimulation


Paradoxically, as arousal reaches higher levels, the glans can become super sensitive, so less direct clitoral stimulation often feels better. Make sure to use lube while delivering light, delicate stimulation at this point.

And feel free to experiment beyond the glans. Learn how to externally massage your clitoral bulbs by placing your fingers firmly on the skin on either side of your vaginal opening and pressing down to rub the area. As the bulbs swell, you will be able to feel them become puffy. As I like to say, you need to know how to play your own instrument!

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Tips For Having a Clit Orgasm with A Partner

When women masturbate, they tend to focus on the clit and keep their bodies rather stiff and rigid. This might be a fast way to the finish line, but developing this habit may hamper being able to have maximum pleasure during partnered sex.

When you move your body during sex, you enhance blood flow to the genitals and also take advantage of the dual pleasure action that happens when the labia indirectly stimulates the clitoral hood. Circling your hips during penetration helps indirectly stroke those clitoral bulbs, supercharging those sensations.

Finally, breathe deeply. It gets more oxygen to all of the essential body and brain parts to enhance circulation.

A final note: Orgasms are great, but they are not the end-all, be-all of pleasure. Striving to “achieve an orgasm” is a sure way to squash pleasure, hampering the possibility of good sex, which hinges on the ability to experience sensations and savor connection to self and others.

So however you go about exploring your clit orgasm, do it with an open mind and most importantly, enjoy it.

Nan Wise, Ph.D., is AASECT certified sex therapist, neuroscientist, certified relationship expert, and author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life. Follow her @AskDoctorNan.





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5 Tips for Turning Your Big Idea Into Even Bigger Small Business


She Makes Money Moves is a new podcast from Glamour and iHeartRadio. Hosted by Glamour editor in chief Samantha Barry, the podcast shares intimate, unscripted stories from women across the country along with advice from financial experts to help guide those women—and women everywhere—forward. Download a new episode every Tuesday, then visit glamour.com/money for an article like this, with more insights from that week’s expert.

The number of women-owned businesses in the United States has grown by almost 3,000% since 1972, according to the 2018 State of Women-Owned Businesses Report. Women now make up 40% of entrepreneurs—and more are becoming their own boss than ever before.

This week’s podcast guest did just that. She left her job to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, and when she finished that, she eventually opened a business inspired by the trek. While she loves her work, she’s having trouble making enough money to stay in business. To make do, she’s picked up side jobs, but would like to come up with a more rigorous business plan. So Barry welcomed Ashley Feinstein Gerstley, founder of the Fiscal Femme to the podcast. Here Feinstein Gerstley outlines how to turn your big idea into an even bigger business.

Know your numbers.

When we’re going out on our own and starting our own businesses, it’s more important than ever to know our numbers. That means knowing exactly what our personal and business expenses cost us each month and each year. When planning, try to include things that happen less regularly like annual subscriptions, doctor’s appointments, travel needs, etc. Using a budgeting spreadsheet helps to make the process simple.

Map out your future income.

When I left my corporate job to run the Fiscal Femme full-time, the business was nowhere near profitable. I was earning some income from the Fiscal Femme, so I did my best to map out/project how that could potentially grow over time. This was important so I knew how much “runway” or how many months of expenses I needed to have saved to be able to stay afloat if the business continued to lose money.

This is a lot more of an art than a science but aim to map out how you expect your revenue to look over time. This number will continually change so update your numbers as your business grows and changes—and budget accordingly.

Create your version of a “freedom fund.”

When I decided I wanted to work on the Fiscal Femme full-time, I created a spreadsheet called the “Project Freedom.” Here I tracked all of my income and expenses, and most importantly, it was a place where I tracked my total savings. Every time I saved money, I added it to the total on the spreadsheet. I never felt more motivated to decrease my expenses as when I was building up my freedom fund.



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Pregnancy Skin Care: Best Tips for a Pregnancy-Safe Routine


My skin is still adjusting to pregnancy life, so I’m trying to give myself a little grace that this is just part of the process. I certainly don’t have a pregnancy glow, more like a few hormonal acne spots and undereye bags. I have had lots of issues with nausea and exhaustion, so I don’t have the energy to stand at the sink and do a long skin care routine. Three to five minutes, and I need to be done.

I’ve always been obsessed with beauty products. My pre-pregnancy skin care routine was pretty intense. I would try new brands and products every few weeks. If it was new and trending, I wanted in.

But with pregnancy, you have to be careful about what might be harmful to you and baby. Early on during my pregnancy I learned that I had to stop using tea tree oil, which I used faithfully on my breakouts, because it could potentially send me into early labor. It’s a muscle relaxant, and my doctor immediately alerted me that the scent alone could be a trigger.

Finding products that are safe and useful during pregnancy can be tough, so my pregnancy skin care philosophy became “get back to basics.” Clinique’s 3-Step System was one of my go-tos, since it had worked for me in high school when I had crazy hormonal outbreaks. I also indulged in my fair share of vitamin E oil. I really liked Nature’s Truth. The oil really helped with the extreme dry skin that pregnancy brought on.

That was probably the biggest change I had to deal with–I found that throughout each trimester, my face slowly became more and more dry. So every few weeks I found myself adding more moisture to my skincare regimen. I vividly remember my skin feeling rough and scaly the last week of my first trimester. It was so hard to camouflage the changes, especially because I kept my pregnancy a secret until 16 weeks. [Triena’s son, Brave, was born in late October 2019.] I indulged in facial masks, steam sessions, and heavy creams and oils. The Clinique Moisture Surge 72-Hour Auto-Replenishing Hydrator was one of my favorites.

My favorite part of my pregnancy was my second trimester. It was primetime! I had the mom-to-be glow, and my skin tone was even and radiant. I felt beautiful.

Aadilah Tootla Saley, founder of South African modest apparel brand Zaynah

I have always been a firm believer in taking care of my skin through nutrition. Vitamins and raw foods are the best ingredients for hydrated, youthful glow. And eating a clean, balanced diet—including a lot of greens and protein—has always contributed to my skin being clear and bright. In the morning, I have a green smoothie with spinach, cucumber, green apple, and vegan protein powder. After my workout I usually have eggs. Lunch and dinner consist of fish or chicken, rice and broccoli. In between I eat plenty of fruit, and I keep away from dairy. I also take a marine collagen with vitamin C. I actually started my own supplement brand, called FitForce, to get the exact mix I like. It really makes a difference.

This is my second pregnancy, and my skin is still pretty clear and glowing, but relatively dry compared to normal. I don’t have specific brands I’m loyal to—I change it up depending on how my skin feels. But I do always use a face wash and a konjac sponge, followed by an SPF. At night, I use a cream and I add a lemon anti-bacterial night serum to deal with my skin dryness.

Sara Gaynes Levy is a writer in New York City. Follow her on Instagram @saragayneslevy.





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How to Style Bangs: The Best Bangs Tips


I only wash my hair about two or three times a month, and I use a really good clarifying shampoo. I get out of the shower while my hair is still wet, and work through DevaCurl Heaven In Hair Divine Deep Conditioner, it’s the best, and then put my hair in two braids. I always style my bangs separately from the rest of my hair. I use the DevaCurl Styling Cream, and I finger coil my bangs, every little strand I finger coil, and then I diffuse them. I don’t blow dry the rest of my hair, only my bangs.

I keep things super simple. I think with curly hair, people are like “What’s the secret?” but your hair already has all the secrets, so I think it’s best to let your hair do what it already does. I tell girls that want to get bangs to remember that curly hair has its own personality, and it might take your hair a year or two to really get the memory down when it comes to having bangs, especially if your hair isn’t used to it. I’ve had them for 10 years, so they know what to do—my hair just wants to lay. But when I first got them, my hair was a mess for like eight months. So just be patient! The finger coiling helps, make sure you use a diffuser, and as far as the rest of your hair: Protective style. Put your hair in braids, sleep with your hair wrapped up, and don’t use products with silicone in them, that contributes to frizz.

I’ve only have had bangs for a few months now, but I grew up having them all through high school. I love them. I think they add a romantic feel to everything I wear. I’ll get them trimmed when I’m feeling dramatic and want a change but am only bold enough to cut my bangs. I have super straight hair, which can be a struggle with bangs. Sometimes they sit on my forehead like blinds, which is really annoying.

My hair routine is pretty simple. I wash my hair every other day and let it air dry. I like to blow-dry my bangs for a little bend and sometimes use a straightener for even more bend. My favorite look is slept-in hair. It gives my hair a natural wave, and there’s something about your hair on the day after washing it that makes for such a good hair day. I’ll throw in some texture spray and maybe a little bit of dry shampoo from Oribe and call it a day.

I have a love/hate relationship with my bangs, but they’ve been apart of me on and off for 10 years now. They’re super versatile, and I love how they enhance my youthful look. I have a lot of hair, and with that comes frizz. My biggest hair struggle is keeping moisture in and keeping the shape.

My hair routine is simple. I don’t shampoo my hair, I just use a good heavy conditioner and leave it in for five minutes like a mask. While it soaks in, I use my fingertips to comb through my hair, and then wash it out and detangle. It helps with not breaking my curls apart too much. Then I scrunch my curls to give them a little bounce and let them air dry. I only trim my bangs every few months. I love a natural overgrown shag.

Bella Cacciatore is the beauty associate at Glamour. Follow her @bellacacciatore_.





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These Are the Only Tips You Need to Start Investing


She Makes Money Moves is a new podcast from Glamour and iHeartRadio. Hosted by Glamour editor in chief Samantha Barry, the podcast shares intimate, unscripted stories from women across the country along with advice from financial experts to help guide those women—and women everywhere—forward. Download a new episode every Tuesday, then visit glamour.com/money for an article like this, with more insights from that week’s expert.

As we’ve previously reported, women invest 40% less money than men. There are a myriad of reasons why this might be the case. But for this week’s guest on She Makes Money Moves—who’s gun-shy about starting to invest—one of her primary (and very relatable!) concerns is that there could be another financial crisis. As she puts it, “What happens if the market crashes again, and all of my money is gone? I don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket, and then lose everything.”

It’s a normal fear, but the fact is if you’re not investing, you’re leaving money on the table, plain and simple. To help first-time investors everywhere begin their journey, Barry welcomed Becoming Super Woman author Nicole Lapin onto the podcast. Here she outlines how to get started.

Make sure you have your financial ducks in a row.

Start off by asking yourself these questions:

  1. Do you have an emergency fund of three to six months of living expenses in the bank?
  2. Are all of your credit cards paid off, in full?
  3. Are you working off any other debt (like student debt, car loans, or a mortgage) on time and don’t anticipate struggling to keep up those payments?
  4. Do you have a retirement system in place and are on track to max out your contributions?
  5. Do you have money saved to start investing? (Typically the minimum is $500 to $2,500.)

If you can answer “yes” to all five of the above, then awesome! You’re ready to join the investors club.

Consider different options for getting into the game.

The first is going to a discount brokerage, like E*Trade, TD Ameritrade, or Fidelity. These are typically do-it-yourself operations (although some have offices in large cities where you can sit down, talk to a representative, and get help opening the account). They cost around $4 to 5 per trade. I also like PortfolioBuilder for getting started. It’s an asset allocation tool that lets you create diversified portfolios of 6 to 8 ETFs (that’s financial lingo for “exchange traded funds”) for just $18.95 (with a $200 account minimum). It’s a good way for investors seeking a low-cost, self-directed approach to investing to get in the door.

You can also head to a full-service brokerage, like Morgan Stanley, Merrill Lynch, or Wells Fargo Advisors, where an actual professional manages your account. This option is more expensive, so you hope your adviser will add enough value to make up for the extra cost, and thus not eat into your profits—but this is not guaranteed. You’re looking at more like $150 per trade here.

Begin with automatic deposits.

If you don’t see it coming out of your paycheck, it’s easier to stick to it. And if you have a lower risk appetite, then start with Treasury bonds or a certificate of deposit (also known as a CD), which is a special savings account that prohibits you from accessing your funds until a specific maturity date—but also offers you a higher interest rate. They are safe and steady way to invest, without having to play the market.

According to a survey by Fidelity, the sponsor of She Makes Money Moves, 80% of women aren’t talking about money with the people closest to them. Today Glamour invites you to the conversation: Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, in the iHeartRadio app, or wherever you listen to podcasts, and join us as we help women raise their voices and make money moves.



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Avoid Money Fights With Your Partner By Using These 4 Expert-Approved Tips


She Makes Money Moves is a new podcast from Glamour and iHeartRadio. Hosted by Glamour editor-in-chief Samantha Barry, the podcast shares intimate, unscripted stories from women across the country along with advice from financial experts to help guide those women—and women everywhere—forward. Download a new episode every Tuesday, then visit glamour.com/money for an article like this, with more insights from that week’s expert.

According to a recent survey, money is a greater source of relationship tension than sex. Money can be such a deal-breaker that nearly one-quarter of participants said they’d broken up with a partner over financial concerns. And 58 percent of the people surveyed said that they’d rather stay single than shack up with someone who’s bad with their budget. When it comes to relationships, money matters. But if you’re honest with your partner about your finances—warts and all—it can be something that brings you together, instead of driving you apart.

In this week’s episode of She Makes Money Moves, “Equal Partners With Unequal Paychecks,” Sam Barry spoke with a woman who earns less than half of what her husband makes. While her husband doesn’t push her to make more, she still feels guilty. So she over-compensates by doing all of the housework—even after working a full day. Barry welcomed on financial expert Stefanie O’Connell to discuss her experience and how other women can have a healthier financial relationship with their partner. Here O’Connell shares her best tips.

Have a “money date”

Gender dynamics and economic roles may be shifting, but when it comes to managing money, the golden rule of relationships still stands—talk about it. Unfortunately, a lot of us only talk about money when it’s already become a point of tension or conflict in our relationships. Unsurprisingly, these emotionally heated moments are not the best time to try talking to our partner about money for the first time. Set yourself up for success by picking a time and place dedicated to a calm and constructive money conversation, or a “money date.”

As you start sharing financial details with your partner, it’s important to dig into any details or differences that might require further conversation. Not just differences in income, but differences in credit, debt, spending values, etc. Essentially, any financial detail that has the potential to affect both of you needs to be discussed. For example, if your partner has bad credit and you’re going to be moving in together, you’ll want to know that before you go apartment hunting and start filling out lease or mortgage applications.

Reviewing your credit reports together can also tell you whether your partner is making an effort to improve their financial habits, or whether missing payments and skipping out on bills is a persistent problem. Sharing this kind of information can point to potential pain points in your financial future together and give you an opportunity to work through them as a team. It’s important to remember that this process isn’t about judging or criticizing your partner, it’s about figuring out ways you can help each other and your relationship grow. If your partner fears judgment or shame around their money habits, you can help them open up by sharing your own financial fears and mistakes. These are hard conversations, but being compassionate and supportive with one another will serve you, your relationship and your finances. Failing to talk about these financial details and keeping things hidden like overspending and secret debt can be a breeding ground for fights, and break down the trust that’s essential for the growth of your relationship.

On the flip side, open and honest discussions of your financial failures and goals can bond you as a team, even when you disagree, by building a foundation for you to handle problems together.

Make a game plan for expenses

As far as how you’ll share expenses, especially with different incomes, you have to decide what works for you. Like all personal choices, there’s no one right way to do it. The only “right way” is the one you and your partner agree on—and what’s right for you now may not be right for you in six months. So it’s important to revisit these conversations by scheduling “money dates” regularly. Maybe you split your expenses 50/50 as you start living together or maybe you contribute to shared household expenses as a percentage of your relative incomes. Then, maybe you get married and decide to live off of one partner’s income while putting the rest in savings. Whatever you decide, it’s important that you’re both involved in the process.

Don’t leave all financial planning to one partner

Be wary of having only one partner handle all financial matters. Not only can this be disempowering, in some cases, it can set you up to be a victim of financial abuse. For example, your partner may use your money without your permission or use your identity to gain access to credit and loans or refuse you access to your money without going through him or her. So whatever jobs you choose for yourselves in the context of your shared money management strategy, it’s essential that you both be involved. It’s not enough to make a plan, then pass it on to one partner while the other tunes out completely. While you can experiment with delegating various financial tasks and how you split and share your financial responsibilities, the key is making sure you’re both involved in all aspects of your financial life and putting together a framework that works for both of you.



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