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The clitoris piercing, in this cultural moment, is kind of like what anal sex used to be: You might know it’s a thing, but not that many people are talking about it in the mainstream. Whereas the nipple ring, despite also being a private, not-seen-by-everyone piercing, has officially gone mainstream thanks to celebrities like Kendall Jenner, Rihanna, and Bella Hadid, the clit piercing remains pretty shockingly taboo.

Part of that is the stigma, of course. The World Health Organization actually classifies clitoral piercings as a type of female genital mutilation. Plus, the outdated assumption that genital piercings are synonymous with promiscuity persists. Still, one survey puts the number of women in the U.S. with genital piercings at up to 2 percent, which makes them less uncommon than you’d think.

In fact, a lot of things about this piercing aren’t what they seem, which is especially good news for anyone who can’t hear the phrase “clitoris piercing” without cringing in empathetic pain. According to Brian Keith Thompson, celebrity piercer and owner of Body Electric Tattoo and Piercing, clients only report pain for a split second and then it’s over. Despite the name, says Thompson, you’re actually piercing the area surrounding your clitoris. And, as with your ears, there are actually a variety of ways to get pierced in your nether regions: There’s the vertical hood piercing (VCH), which is the most popular; the horizontal hood piercing (HCH), which is done across the hood with a hoop; the triangle, which goes behind the clitoris; and the Christina, which connects the outer labia to the pubic mound (named after the first person who ever received it).

So why are people actually getting this done? Some of the women I spoke to explained that they went for it as a fun surprise for themselves, while others get it specifically because no one will see it.

Lisa O., 27, had never thought of herself as the “type” to get a clitoris piercing (she admits she associated them with porn) until a coworker she admired came clean about having one. Lisa was 19 and in college at the time, and found a lot of things about her worldview changing all at once—including how she felt about the women who got clitoris piercings. She eventually decided to get her own, since it felt like an extension of that newfound freedom and confidence. “I wanted to do something different and sexy,” she says.

Though she says she initially didn’t tell anyone out of fear of what they might think of her (she even waited a whole year to tell her best friend), as time went on she realized that it actually made her feel more sure of herself than ever. “I found a totally different level of confidence when I went to college and this was part of it,” she says now. “It was one of the most empowering things that I’ve ever done.”

For Nicole C., 28, her love of trendy body modification clashed with her military service. “I wanted to get a piercing and had limited choices as to what would be irritated by my uniform or training,” she says. Since a clitoris piercing is easy to hide—she notes that any sort of piercing or tattoo also has to be covered up, per military rules—it was the right choice for her. Plus, she says, it kicks things up a notch in bed. “The VCH piercing is literally right over the clitoris. [It’s] basically like a ‘Stop Here’ sign for foreplay.”

Natalie F., 26, who got her clit pierced when she was 19, agrees with the piercing’s oral sex benefits: “Guys think, ‘Oh there’s something there, let me pay attention to that.’”

What’s more, some women report that their clitoris piercing makes their orgasms stronger—and the added stimulation probably helps.

Plus, with something so private and taboo, even just knowing you have a piercing down there can be pretty sexy.

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