We partnered with GQ on an exclusive survey of more than 1,000 men about #MeToo, and the results were eye-opening—particularly this one: 47% of men said they hadn’t discussed the movement. At all. With anyone. Let’s change that, because to keep this conversation going, we need everyone talking. See the full Glamour x GQ survey here, and read all of the thoughtful pieces it sparked—from personal essays to a glossary of key terms—here.
Since the #MeToo movement began building steam in America last year, it has undeniably altered the perceived gender power dynamic within our society. Longtime abusers have been brought to justice; well-known public figures and titans of industry have been forced to resign from their posts. Victims of sexual harassment have pursued litigation against their perpetrators, some walking away with million-dollar settlements. It’s a cultural sea change that has put many an employer—and employee—on notice.
But while high-profile sexual harassment lawsuits have been in the spotlight, those trajectories don’t always translate to everyday life: If you’re not an actress suing a legendary producer, an NBC employee reporting a star anchor, or a writer accusing an award-winning author, what does reporting sexual harassment actually look like for you?
Glamour reached out to employment lawyers with that very question—how should the average person handle sexual harassment at work?
Is this sexual harassment—or something else?
Step one is to understand what is actually defined as sexual harassment, says Jack Tuckner, Esq.. a New York based employment attorney whose firm, Tuckner, Sipser, Weinstock & Sipser, LLP, concentrates in women’s rights in workplace.
“In the workplace, it’s any kind of unwelcome, unwanted, nonconsensual sexual attention, that in some ways degrades or alters the terms, conditions, benefits, or the pay of your employment,” he says.
Sexual harassment can take the form of quid pro quo—the classic example would be a boss pressuring an employee for sex and telling her she can keep her job in exchange—or hostile work environment, which could be anything from physical contact to sexual commentary or any other stripe of gender-based discrimination.
There’s also a difference between a harassing comment and a crude one, says Alex Granovsky, Esq., of the employment law firm Granovsky & Sundaresh PLLC, which has practices in New York and Ohio.
“Someone saying ‘hey, you look nice today,’ might not be warranted or appropriate, but there’s a difference between comments that are a little on the sexual side and comments that are just wrong, like ‘great boobs,’ or whatever. There are shades of grey.”
The line falls, he adds, on whether or not the conduct becomes a condition of employment: “Do you [feel like you] have to put up with this crap to be employed there?” In addition: “Is the conduct severe and pervasive enough to create a work environment where a reasonable person would consider it intimidating, hostile, abusive, or unworkable?”
Coming up with a game plan & reporting your complaint
Let’s say, for a moment, that the answer to both the above questions is: absolutely. Now what?
Start with taking stock and figuring out a game plan. Granovsky recommends asking yourself: Where do I want to end up?
“If you love your job, you want to stay, and you think it’s a singular incident—and one that’s forgivable—you might approach the harasser and tell them: ‘That was really messed up’,” he says. This might also be the the moment to really think about what happened, share your experience with people you trust, and maybe even a lawyer if you want a legal opinion before moving forward.
If you decide to report the offense to your employer, the next step is to take the complaint directly to human resources—and make sure you put it in writing. “Document, document, document,” advises Tuckner. “You might even want to FedEx the first letter, because then you have a provable paper trail.” Email also works because it’s time-stamped; it’s worth keeping copies in case, at some point in the future, you lose access to your company account.
“There is no claim unless you notify the employer, preferably in a provable way, that you feel you’re being discriminated against,” says Tuckner—adding that discrimination is exactly what sexual harassment is: a hostile work environment, based on gender. “The employer has an obligation to investigate and launch remedial, corrective action to resolve it.”
But what if you’re worried that formally complaining will lead to your own termination? “People say: If I complain, I’ll get fired,” Tuckner says.“But when you say you’ve been sexually harassed, you’re lodging a protective complaint, and a company is not permitted to subjecting the complaining employee to backlash.”
In order words: By formally reporting the situation to HR, you’re actually covering your own back. So if you do get fired after filing a formal complaint—it’s a thing that does happen—you (and your lawyer) will be better able to allege that it was retaliatory, and therefore against the law.
What happens after you go to human resources
Okay… So what next? Well, your company might blow you off—more on that in a second—or follow through with an investigation.
“There’s a sort of mantra people learn in HR 101. When an employee complains about sexual harassment, you say: ‘Thank you very much for your complaint, we are an equal opportunity employer, and we take claims like this very seriously, we’re going to investigate and keep things as confidential as possible, and there will be no retaliation,” Tuckner says.
He also thinks people need to understand that human resources is not the employee advocacy arm of a business. “They work for the company, and that’s who they’re there to protect,” Tuckner says. Don’t assume that you’ll have access to the notes they’re taking during your conversations, he advises. Keep your own records, preferably with timestamps, and continue to document along the way.
What happens next depends on your company itself. “It spans the gamut. There are employers who will work vigorously, do a full review and investigation, and do whatever is within their power to eradicate harassment of any kind,” says Granovsky.
In some smaller, lower profile companies and industries, the resolution might look more like reshuffling the reporting structure so that you and the offender no longer interact; individual or company-wide sexual harassment training; mediation; termination; and, in some cases, a conclusion that accused did nothing wrong.
Because of the sensitive subject matter, conscientious employers will try and maintain the confidentiality of both the accuser and the accused. More than likely, though, prepare for this to be a stressful period of time.
It doesn’t always lead to a lawsuit
Sometimes, says Tuckner, this can lead to a “David and Goliath moment,” where the harassee has to decide how they want to proceed. In some instances, you could sue. “But do you want to spend five years in court battling it out?… Most people are not going to have a Hollywood type trial, and I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.”
But say that you’ve reported, documented, followed up, and nothing has happened: Now you’re at another fork in the road and quitting might look like the only option. That’s your choice, but according to Tucker, leaving your job on your own will end what you started. “Quit is a four-letter word for us plaintiff-side employment lawyers,” says Tuckner. “When you quit, there’s no case.”
Another thing to consider before you quit: When you willingly leave a job, you’re foregoing the ability to apply for unemployment benefits. Whereas, if you hire a lawyer, they may be able to help you negotiate a separation package that not only allows you to file for benefits, but also lets you potentially walk out the door with severance and a reference letter.
“It’s not a Boston Legal episode where there’s clarity and justice,” says Tuckner—but it’s a way to make the best out of a bad situation.
In other scenarios, though—maybe because your company isn’t big enough to have a formal reporting structure or even a human resources department, or it’s just a toxic environment that’s not going to change—sometimes you just have to move on. When that’s the case: “You have what’s professionally known as a crappy job,” says Granovsky. “And you should start looking for a less crappy job immediately.”