Once upon a time, I had a boss who gave me some advice that’s stuck with me over the years. Basically, she said, the idea of work-life balance just doesn’t wind up being feasible: It divides life into work or not-work and doesn’t account for other directions life pulls you, like the energy you put your relationship with your S.O., with your family, with your friends, and with yourself. Instead, she told me, think of these energy-pulling factors like cars hooked to a train engine: Life is a constant series of decisions about which one to put first, and that’s going to change week to week or even hour to hour. Too often, though—as it had with me the day she dished that advice—the train car for ourselves becomes the caboose, and it stays there for way too long. Pretty Little Liars star Lucy Hale, who I’m sure has a lot on her plate, seemed to be feeling that way too recently—and opened up about just how necessary it is to put yourself first sometimes.
In an Instagram post taken against a gorgeous blue sky on Friday, Hale wrote that she’d been struggling to find time for herself. “Disclaimer : this is a long caption,” she began. “For the last week I took a solo trip to Arizona. (FYI -if you want to feel spiritually recharged, Come here.) I spent my days hiking, meditating, and spending time with myself. I’ve never done this before because I used to feel that putting myself first was selfish. It’s not. Not only is it healthy, but it’s necessary so that you can be the best for everyone else around you. I know this happens in other industries other than the one I’m in, but it’s incredibly easy to get sucked into the vortex of worrying about the next job, the success of a current one and what others think of you. This trip was a beautiful reminder that my health and happiness are crucial to the life I want to live and in order to be the best for my career and my loved ones, it’s necessary to do really nice things for yourself. SO, I highly recommend treating your mind, body and spirit right ( and taking a solo getaway). Thank you Arizona, I feel so refreshed ??”
Of course, we’re not all successful actresses with piles of emergency-holiday money, but she has a point: There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting yourself first in whatever way is feasible for you. Whether that involves turning down plans with friends when you’re stretched too thin or simply taking 15 minutes to read before you start your day, tending to your own needs and care is beyond important. And Lucy’s right: There’s absolutely nothing selfish about it.
After all, as unofficial life counselor RuPaul frequently reminds us, “If you can’t love yourself, how the HELL you gonna love somebody else?”
Related Stories:
–Cate Blanchett on Motherhood, Masking, and Making Time for Self-Care
–7 Self-Care Ideas for International Women’s Day
–Demi Lovato Just Got Real About Body Positivity and Self-Esteem