But last month, I registered a shift. In me. In the people I know. Even on Twitter. An odd thing has happened. For the first time since the presidential election, some of us have started to feel…hopeful?

The sensation is so novel, I didn’t recognize it at first. But it began with that old nemesis of mine—polls. After months of ambitious plans, hundreds of photo lines, and countless appearances, Elizabeth Warren surged ahead in them. At last a woman whose hard work seemed to be noted and appreciated. The first primaries are still months from now, but for a lot of women, Warren presents a chance to finish what Geraldine Ferraro, Margaret Chase Smith, and Shirley Chisholm started. For a lot of us, the fact that we’ve never had a female president still stings. Even prim-and-proper England had Margaret Thatcher. (Yes, I know.)

Sure, Clinton had her problems, but those issues paled compared to her opponent’s deficiencies; the harassment and assault allegations, his numerous bankruptcies, the grift. I’m not here to re-litigate 2016, but the stark fact was that one candidate was qualified and the other didn’t know who Fredrick Douglass was.

Then, the Ukraine news broke. As reports trickled out, we learned that Trump has been pushing Ukraine for dirt on Joe Biden. Even moderate Democrats backed impeachment proceedings. And in the time since, I have sometimes wondered: What would happen if we didn’t all get dark and doubtful again? What would happen if we decided to hold the Trump administration accountable for once? Stranger things have happened.

There’s an expression in politics that “Republicans fall in line and Democrats fall in love.” As much as I hate the idea, I think there’s some truth to it. But I’ve held off on following my heart. I’ve been burned, and it’s so much easier to just assume the worst than hope for the best. At least that’s how I felt until now.

For the next few weeks, the Trump administration will have to answer for their actions. And in the meantime, women continue to run rings around him. Harris is on the cover of TIME Magazine! Warren, with her focus on childcare and student debt, makes me feel warm inside! I can’t help it. I feel…almost optimistic.

This election will take place 13 or so months and several million news alerts from now. And I am not blind to the realities of our current moment. Abortion is on the chopping block. Immigrants rights’ have been trampled. Our president just asked China to interfere in our elections from the White House lawn. I’m not delusional, but I am hopeful. Because for the first time in a long time, some determined part of me feels like we’re at the beginning of something.

Molly Jong-Fast is the author of three novels. Follow her on Twitter @mollyjongfast.

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