A sex shop can be a great way to check out a product before becoming very familiar with it, but going to one for the first time can also be intimidating. The entire premise behind this type of shopping is that you’ll go into a place of business and explain to a stranger who works there what would give you the best orgasm—definitely not a situation you encounter anywhere else in life. Can you imagine getting that personal with a J.Crew employee?

There are easy things you can do to guarantee a straightforward, educational, and totally not-daunting experience. Ryan DiMartino and Victor Tobar, employees at legendary sex-shop chain The Pleasure Chest, share a few easy tips to avoid looking like a deer in headlights.

Find the Right Kind of Shop

DiMartino explains you should look for a store that’s “education-centric,” a model becoming common around the country and a far cry from the seedy porn shops of yore. “An education-centric shop isn’t focused just on moving product but on making sure that we’re able to help you find the right thing and know how to use it properly,” they say. To find sex-positive shops in your area, do a little research: Read unbiased sex bloggers like The Redhead Bedhead and Elle Chase, for example, or even just look at a store’s website to make sure diverse body types and preferences are represented.

Ask Questions

You likely came into the store because you had a question, had your eye on a product, or were curious about what the shop is actually like—that’s great! So ask that question or find out what to do with that thing; lots of rookies don’t. “It’s clear it’s someone’s first time if they walk in and walk right out without asking for assistance,” says Tobar. You’re allowed to find an employee first thing and ask them for help—they’re probably more than happy to tell you which condoms are customer favorites or which vibrators they’d personally recommend.

Try Not to Make Everything a Joke

Another tell that you’re a sex-shop first-timer? Crackin’ wise. “There are times when folks come in and everything becomes a joke really quickly,” says DiMartino. “That’s a really common defense mechanism because as a society we really don’t have the tools to talk about sex in a healthy or desexualized way with strangers.” If you feel the need to make a joke, that’s fine, but remember that these employees have seen it all. And make sure you don’t yuck anyone’s yum by making a joke about a product another customer might be in there looking for: Just because you feel awkward doesn’t mean you should make someone else feel that way, too.

And if there aren’t sex shops in your area, don’t fret: Companies like The Pleasure Chest and Babeland have online shopping—and discreet shipping.

This article initially appeared in the January 2018 issue of Glamour.

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