Jokes – Page 2 – Ft McMurray's Homepage

Chrissy Teigen seems to love sharing her pregnancy and post-baby stories with her social media fans: in the past she’s revealed her stretch marks to help other women improve their body image, shared her journey through infertility, and the process of getting pregnant with both daughter Luna and her second child, on the way now, and she discussed her experience with postpartum depression. (Fans seem to love it too: her openness is refreshingly real and resonates with women pretty much everywhere.) And she just shared another example, talking about a post-breastfeeding reality for many moms: lopsided boobs.

“View from above. I really should have nursed out of both boobs (when I nursed),” Teigen wrote over a Snapchat image she shared with her followers (The post has since expired). In the image, shot from above, Teigen’s left breast looks slightly larger than her right (also, that dress is damn cute).

https://twitter.com/Lides_MP/status/941665391939551232

As Twitter user @Lides_MP, who shared the image on her account, and many other new moms know, a certain amount of breast unevenness is totally normal in new moms. While doctors and breastfeeding experts generally do suggest trying to breastfeed out of both sides when possible, some babies will naturally prefer one side, or one side might produce more milk than the other. The truth is, breastfeeding can be very difficult for many women so new moms often cling to anything—including feedings that focus only on one breast—that helps make the process feel easier. So if you too have one boob that is bigger than the other after breastfeeding, think of it as a badge of honor—and something you can tell people you have in common with a supermodel.

Bless Chrissy Teigen for Baring Her Stretch Marks (Again) to the Whole World

Chrissy Teigen’s Best Tweets and Instagrams About Motherhood

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As former Today show cohost Matt Lauer reportedly hides out in the Hamptons, the media is having quite the time digging up public and private moments from his past that illustrate that his improper behavior has been going on for long time. Of course there’s the creepy archival Today footage of interviews with actresses like Anne Hathaway and Sandra Bullock. And now there’s news of a “secret” roast of Lauer at New York City’s Friars Club back in 2008 that is downright disgusting, especially in light of his firing for “sexual misconduct in the workplace.”

So roasts are, by nature, fairly raunchy affairs, often filled with off-color jokes. But the reports from the Lauer roast, originally published in the Village Voice and recently resurfaced by the New York Post, are next-level wrong.

Let’s set the scene: First of all, you could probably write a term paper that simply analyzes the guest list. The Today team at the time was all there including Al Roker, Meredith Vieira, and Ann Curry. Lauer’s former cohost Katie Couric, Today alum Bryant Gumbel, future president Donald Trump, Tom Cruise (who once had a famously tense on-air moment with Lauer), Bob Saget, Martha Stewart, and then chairman of NBC Universal Jeff Zucker were all in the room. Oh, and Nancy O’Dell. Yes, the Nancy O’Dell who Trump is talking about when he says he “moved on her like a bitch” in the infamous Access Hollywood tape. Now, that’s a room filled with many headline-making names in the latest wave of harassment scandals.

And then there are the “jokes.” Some of these are hard to read, so beware. Cameras and recorders were banned from the event, but a Village Voice reporter was said to have taken copious notes under a table. Ann Curry, with whom Lauer reportedly had a contentious relationship, was the butt of many jokes, including one reportedly from the man of “honor” himself: “What’s with all the small-d— jokes? It was fun to look over and see Ann Curry laughing…like she doesn’t know how big my d— really is.”

I barely have words—but it just gets worse. Martha Stewart is reported to have said, “I hear NBC executives call Matt the ‘Cock of the Rock.’” Does that sound like somebody who executives should have been “shocked” to find out was inappropriate at the office? Zucker, Lauer’s boss at one time, has said he knew nothing of Lauer’s behavior but allegedly said this at the 2008 roast: “It’s just good to see Matt up here and not under my desk. I don’t want to say Matt’s a germophobe, but he’s the only guy I know who uses Purell both before and after he masturbates.” You know what else was under his desk? A button that allowed him to lock the door without getting up.

It’s all nefarious AF and makes it very hard to fathom that nobody knew what was going on at 30 Rock. One media executive who had attended told the Post, “This was a comedic roast, but there was clearly a vein of truth running through all those jokes. You had Katie Couric, Meredith Vieira, and Jeff Zucker all standing up there joking about his sex in the office, his kinkiness. They all knew.”

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