“I stole my first romance novel from my mom. She saw me reading it and freaked out, because nobody should have to explain an orgasm to a five-year-old,” remembers Seattle-based author Olivia Waite. Decades later, her interest hasn’t faded. Waite is one of around 1,900 people in attendance at the Romance Writers of America conference in New York and among her people.

RWA is the largest annual meet-up for professional romance writers in the world, and the association behind it boasts more than 9,000 members, hundreds of whom make a point to attend its signature event. Because as Alabaman writer Louisa Cornell—who has been to 12 conferences—puts it, “Being a writer can be a very lonely job, especially with romance. This genre is picked apart and looked down on. When it’s a situation where it’s a lonely business, and you’re looked down on for what you write, being able to be with your tribe is very important.”

That sense of camaraderie makes the event feel more like a Panhellenic conference than a traditional work requirement. One woman—a doctor with aquamarine hair—trekked from Toulouse, France, just to be there. In another corner, two women set up shop on the floor, and, over pizza, explained that they’d met at a previous conference and had spent the past 12 months co-writing a romance series together. Seasoned veterans were quick to spot orange ribbons on attendees’ badges, an indication it’s the wearer’s first time, to help bring them into the fold.

For these women, who often experience online harassment and are subjected to crude or dismissive assessments of their work, the chance to connect with writer and fans, judgment-free, is a welcome change. “I had a friend of my sister’s ask her how I could write romance novels even though I’m single,” recalls novelist Rebecca Connolly, who had come to New York from Indiana. The comment stung, but she’s used to the criticism. “People think if you write romance novels you’re silly, you’re writing ‘mom porn,’ or you’re setting everyone up for unrealistic expectations. It’s sad because it completely belittles our craft, which we put a lot of work and heart into it.” Jen Geigle Johnson, Connolly’s Denver-based writing partner and roommate at RWA, has also experienced this. “It’s a feminist issue,” Johnson says. “Romance is viewed as a ‘women’s genre,’ which is why it’s downplayed, but the imagery can be just as beautiful as a ‘literary work,’ even though you’re writing a love story.”

It can also be life-changing. While Waite, for example, started off her reading traditional, heteronormative romance stories, she soon decided to check out queer and lesbian literature, sometimes known as F/F in the genre. “I wanted to read more inclusively across sexuality and racial lines. Then I read F/F, and it was like staring into a mirror,” Waite says. She came out as bisexual, and has dedicated herself to writing within the sub-genre. “I wanted to write F/F novels because I wasn’t seeing enough of them in stores. It feels so magical to get more queer romance voices out there, because there’s a real divide between the lesbian romance presses and the mainstream ones.”

“There are young girls who are having a tough time with abusive boyfriends, who read young adult romance and see there’s a way out. There are older ladies who are widowed and read romance about women their age and realize there’s happiness still out there,” Cornell adds. “I wish people knew how much people’s lives are saved by these novels. Because there’s nothing better than laughing at a romantic comedy who’s just as clumsy, or spunky, as you are.”

Ready to dive into the happy endings? Read on for some of the RWA members’ favorite romance novels of all-time.

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