When a mascara’s description tells you it’s going to be “blacker than your darkest thoughts,” any beauty junkie worth their weight in highlighter knows it’s Urban Decay, a brand that’s made cult-favorites out of names like Perversion and Naked. The next step, obviously, is to test it out. Who are you really if you can look at a tube of Urban Decay mascara and not be tempted to maniacally swish it along your lashes. Which is exactly what I did when the line’s new Troublemaker mascara crossed my desk.

To be honest, I’ve been using the product for over a month now—ever since UD’s founder Wende Zomnir gave her followers a sneak peek at the tube on Instagram—and it’s taken nearly all my strength to not shout about it from my apartment window. And now, friends, the time has come.

Troublemaker is formulated with the intent of giving your lashes both serious volume and length without flaking or going limp. And it absolutely delivers.

The oil slick-like packaging is cool enough for anyone to want to grab it and give it a go (but don’t be fooled, the formula inside is black as black can be—read: not holographic), but the brush is really where it’s at for me. Unlike it’s predecessor, the beloved Urban Decay Perversion mascara, the wand is not giant, proving size is not always an indicator of performance. If anything, it’s less daunting to maneuver and the formula itself is less thick. The volume comes from the bristles, which alternate between short, silicone nubs that help apply the mascara to build volume, and long comb-like arms that separate and fan individual hairs.

The one thing that drives me crazy about most volume-enhancing mascaras is that heavy, clumpy feeling on my lashes, but because of the combing bristles on this wand, I don’t have stickiness, my delicate hairs aren’t weighed down, and the lightweight formula allows a curl to last all day without the help of an unwieldy tool.

My application technique is as follows: wiggle the wand down to the bottom of your lashes, getting all that gorgeous thickness at the root and then gently comb as you pull the wand out to the ends, letting the formula coat every last hair. The result: full, long, and clump-free.

PHOTO: Katie Friedman

Another cool aspect of the brush: The rows of bristles get gradually longer depending on how you hold it. Some are shorter on the top and others gradually go from long to short on the bottom, so you can rotate the wand to get the smaller parts into the corners of your lashes—an area that often goes untouched or inevitably ends up smudged when you’re working with a chubby brush.

As for the formula, it’s made with light fibers, so you get some faux diameter and some length without those flaky rogue pieces than tend to wind up in your eyes, causing you to rub them and ruin all your effort.

Urban Decay promises this mascara will make your lashes “super-fat, super-long, and sex-proof.” I can proudly confirm all three claims from personal experience. It’s also not waterproof, which is worth noting in case you’re a cryer. I do, in fact, tend to tear up a lot but I usually don’t go for waterproof mascaras because they’re too hard to remove. This one is easy to take off with a cleanser and doesn’t run. It’s basically a crier’s dream.

PHOTO: Katie Friedman

Urban Decay Troublemaker Mascara, $24, starting September 5 at urbandecay.com

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