Amber Tamblyn is among the many women in Hollywood leading the Time’s Up and #MeToo movements that are changing the cultural conversation around sexual harassment and assault. But she’s also putting in the work at home: In a new interview with NPR, she explained that she’s been having educational conversations with men in her life, including husband David Cross.

Cross, ICYMI, has come under quite a bit of flak in past months for allegedly making racist comments to comedian Charlyne Yi—and with that, Tamblyn was dragged into the fray as well, leading her to eventually reply, “He said he was sorry, publicly, several times. Please don’t @ me in conversations dragging my husband. Thanks.”

In May, Cross again came under fire for talking over Arrested Development star Jessica Walters during a cast panel, seemingly downplaying her when she talked about how Jeffrey Tambor had lashed out at her. “You know, one thing that Jeffrey has said a number of times that I think is important, that you don’t often hear from somebody in his position, is that he learned from the experience and he’s listening and learning and growing. That’s important to remember,” Cross said at the time.

Tamblyn, in her response, made it clear she was handing the situation at home. “I corresponded with Jessica. Just because I’m publicly silent on shit doesn’t mean I’m not privately handling shit. Now that you’re updated on what I do behind the scenes, Twitter, keep my fucking name out of your @. Feel me? Have a great Memorial Day,” she tweeted.

In the interview with NPR, she revealed a little bit about how her work leading the movement has impacted their relationship—and his behavior.

“Believe me, his eyes are open to that now, if they weren’t before,” Tamblyn said. “And this is what it took to have that change. Some men don’t change. The thing I can say about David, that I love so much about him, is that he changes. And part of his introspection and his sensitivity is that he’s aware of that… it’s just a continual sense of getting them to open their eyes and getting them to see either how they’re helping or they’re not helping.”

“I helped him to see,” she continued. “That’s the best thing that you could do. And you know that was really difficult for our family. We got death threats. … And women were coming after me and telling me ‘Oh you can’t be the head of a movement and not speak to this.'”

Tamblyn also reaffirmed her right to have a private life with her husband out of the public eye (and Twitter), before saying that she realizes that the conversations she’s having with Cross are ones many other women in America are navigating with their partners.

“I really hold a strong boundary with this and believe I’ve earned the right to privacy,” she said. “And if you care about my voice and what I have to say at all … and you think you know me, then you better assume that I’m having really difficult conversations with my husband about it. Just like all women are.”

Expect more of these convos from Tamblyn: Her new novel, Any Man, is about a woman who’s a serial rapist—and it’s already spurring discussions about how society looks at sexual assault.

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