Everyone who goes on The Bachelor has a so-called “journey,” but Caelynn Miller-Keyes’ was particularly up and down. From her ongoing tension with Hannah B. to the accusation that she’s not “here for the right reasons,” Caelynn was in the spotlight each week, whether it was warranted or not. One bright spot: Her conversation with Colton about her sexual assault was given the attention and sensitivity it deserved.

Through it all, the reigning Miss North Carolina was determined to not let the drama in the house overshadow her time there. “I’ve had a lot of heartbreak in my life, she told Glamour at the start of the season. “I would hate for that to happen again, but [you have to put] yourself out there.”

Unfortunately, Colton sent Caelynn home on Monday night. For someone who appeared to be a frontrunner, Colton’s quick dismissal didn’t make much sense to viewers—or Caelynn (as Glamour‘s Anna Moeslein pointed out in her recap). Now, months later, she says “I’m continuing to heal my heart.”

But is a stint on The Bachelorette in her future? After all, the other women in the house seemed convinced. Caelynn, however, isn’t sure she’s ready. Ahead of next week’s Bachelor: Women Tell All special, we asked her about that and more. Read on.

Glamour: At one point in the season, you visited Colton during a group date to apparently vouch for Cassie’s intentions. Knowing that she’s still on the show, are you glad you did?

Caelynn Miller-Keyes: Yes, I wanted to defend my best friend. I’ll defend my friends forever. I knew Colton had a connection with Cassie, and I was like, If it’s me at the end of this, I don’t want him to watch this season back and suddenly have regrets. I didn’t want him to be like, Oh, I sent someone home that could have been my person. I wanted to make sure he knew the truth.

Glamour: What’s your relationship like with Cassie now?

Caelynn: Cassie and I are very close. She’s my best friend. But she won’t reveal any details of the season to me, so I don’t know what happens.

Glamour: That has to be hard—to be best friends with someone who has a connection with Colton, too?

Caelynn: Yeah, it’s definitely hard. I don’t know. I’m happy that Colton dumped me before the fantasy suite because that would have been way more difficult to go through that. I’m happy that when he knew that he didn’t love me he dumped me, but it still doesn’t make it easy. The whole season Cassie and I were trying to navigate the waters of our friendship and figure it out when we were both falling for the same guy. It was difficult. Watching it back is still difficult.

Glamour: How are you doing now?

Caelynn: I thought I had processed this breakup fully, but there are still emotions to hash out. I mean, I hope Colton finds his person, and I hope he’s happy. I want him to find that and to find love.

Glamour: What do you still need answers to?

Caelynn: My biggest question is: When did Colton know he didn’t want to be with me? Because a week prior, he told me he had been falling in love with me since Singapore. To hear that and then be dumped just a week later, I want to know what it was. Was it meeting my family and suddenly realizing he couldn’t fit in?

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