The most difficult part of adding a clitoral vibrator to penetrative sex is the positioning. Sure, the addition of a sex toy is dope and can make it easier to orgasm, but you lose a hand. That’s like running an obstacle course with your shoelaces tied! So I was excited when I heard about the Desire Luxury Butterfly Hands-Free Vibrator, ($100 from Lovehoney), which aims to solve this problem by attaching a cute purple, vibrating butterfly to a sexy black harness you can wear while boning. And after trying it, I can say that Lovehoney succeeded in creating an awesome product—just not in the way they necessarily intended.

Here’s the bad news first: The adjustable harness is indeed sexy, but it doesn’t really stay in place. I loved how mine looked, but the butterfly-shaped vibrator hovered about half an inch away from my clitoris no matter how tight I adjusted the straps. It’s not like a latex bodysuit that sticks to your body as a second skin. Even with those black straps, additional pressure is required to hit the right spot.

PHOTO: Lovehoney

Here’s how the vibe fits over your waist.

I wore it with my partner while on my tummy (the easiest position to use a vibrator during penetrative sex, IMO) and still needed to take my right hand and push the butterfly against me. So no matter how hot it is, don’t expect the harness to make your added-stimulation sex “hands-free.” Even when I was on top, the butterfly didn’t fly close enough to my clit to vibrate me to instant-orgasm. Added pressure was still necessary.

Now for the good news! If you’re using this with a partner, the hands-free feature is great if you want to put them in charge. The butterfly has a remote control which allows it to move in eight different vibration patterns at 12 different speeds (like a massage chair you’d sit in while getting a pedicure). Relax with the harness on and use your hand to push the vibrator closer to your body if you need to, but give your partner the remote. Do you like the rolling hill sensation? Sorry! Time to change the channel to rapid-fire pulsations. Are you getting close to coming? Bam! Throw in some orgasm denial and slow that thing down.

By the way, “orgasm denial” is a part of dominant and submissive play and is exactly what it sounds like. When done to penises, it’s usually referred to as “edging,” but the cruel build-up is hot for people with vaginas, too. After some solid rounds of orgasm denial, when you finally do orgasm, it can be out of this world.

Unfortunately, you can only turn the butterfly on and off by pressing a button on the vibrator itself; the remote just changes speeds and vibrations. (Unless I was totally using it wrong, but I couldn’t find an on/off button on the remove for the life of me). The famed couples toy line made by We-Vibe also allows your partner to control the vibrator as you wear it, and in a far more advanced manner. With We-Vibe, you can set the vibrators to the beat of your favorite song with their We-Connect app (and you can control it from anywhere in the world). Consider the butterfly a slightly less technological method of doing the same thing. Old school, baby!

PHOTO: Lovehoney

Cute!

In the end, I ripped the harness off my body and just held the butterfly against my clit like any old vibrator. I orgasmed, but I think I could have done that with my hand or a clitoral vibrator for a quarter of the price tag. Invest in this sex toy if you really like grinding against legs, love orgasm denial, or can just afford to collect all the sex toys in the world. If you’re just looking to increase orgasms, you might want to stick with a classic clitoral vibrator.

You can get the Lovehoney Desire Luxury Butterfly Hands-Free Vibrator for $100 here.

More Sex Toy Reviews:

—This Might Be the Best Vibrator I’ve Ever Used

—With This Warming Wand, Winter Won’t Be the Only Thing Coming

—This Flexible Vibrator Gives You Orgasms in Lots of Ways

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