It’s a stressful time right now. There’s a lot going on in the world that is problematic and troublesome. Not to mention the global pandemic. Everything is moving fast. We all feel busy and overwhelmed. Sometimes, life just feels like a series of uncomfortable moments strung together.

And yes, we all need to resist and work hard to make the world better. But there’s so much expected of us these days—especially women. So after a full day, I want nothing more than to relax into the loving arms of screaming women on reality TV. Watching these monstrous, majestic creatures yell at each other is soothing. Really.

I’ll always consider Bravo’s Real Housewives my form of self-care, but I’ve also gotten deeply involved with Love Is Blind on Netflix. I can’t even tell you what’s going on between that show and me lately. It’s too much. For someone else, it might be Love After Lock Up, 90 Day Fiancé, or The Bachelor. Whatever reality show you prefer, I don’t think you should be ashamed if that’s your outlet to recharge. Would I love it if meditation and journaling helped me de-stress? Sure. But in reality, I’m putting my kids to bed, settling in with a glass of wine, and turning on reality garbage.

It’s fun to care so passionately and deeply about something so meaningless and silly! I’ve been watching Real Housewives for decades. I know their full histories, and it feels like I’m a part of their families. I call them my weird drunk aunts.

There’s a bonding process that happens when you meet other fans, too. My friend and Bitch Sesh podcast co-host Danielle Schneider and I love the community our listeners have built. Major, major lifelong friendships have been developed over talking about women we don’t know. We post memes. We send each other information about what’s going on. Well, information is a strong word. It’s more like, “I saw Dorinda Medley walking down the street.” That’s it. It’s frivolous, sure, but it’s all we need to get a lift for the day.

Look at sports fanatics and nerd culture—it’s no different whatsoever. The reunions are my Superbowl, and I’m not going to be a reality TV apologist about it. It’s a way to connect with people when you might not have much to talk about beyond the weather. You can have a heated, passionate debate about Jessica from Love Is Blind and know there’s nothing behind it.

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