Basic Bride is a new wedding column from Vanderpump Rules star Stassi Schroeder. If you’re looking for advice, stop right here. But read on if you want honest, hilarious commentary on the trials of planning a wedding that millions of people will watch.

I never wanted to have bridesmaids. I love weddings, I love my friends, and I love being in my friends’ weddings, but I’ve always thought that having bridesmaids means more stress for the bride. You’re constantly delegating—choosing the bridesmaids, picking out their dresses, making sure they all get along and feel included. So when I got engaged to my fiancé, Beau, I thought, why add extra work for myself? My friends will be at my wedding no matter what.

When I told my friends that I didn’t want to have bridesmaids, though, they were livid. They were like, “Abso-fucking-lutely not. We love you, and this means more to us than it does to you. If you don’t do bridesmaids, we’re going to kill you.”

So I’m having bridesmaids.

But once I made that decision, I quickly realized: Oh shit. If I’m going to do this, I have to really do this. I don’t like when weddings have 20 bridesmaids and 20 groomsmen, but I have so many people I want to include: my sister, my fiancé’s sister, my friends that I grew up with, and the friends that are a big part of my life now. It became a situation. And now I have nine bridesmaids. Don’t judge me.

It was hard to narrow down to just nine! I had to limit it to people who are a big part of my life right now, as well as Beau’s. This isn’t a birthday party celebrating me—it’s about me and Beau. So my bridesmaids need to be people who’ve been around us as a couple. The friends who will continue to be in our lives after we’re married.

Still, I feel like such an asshole having nine bridesmaids when I always said I wouldn’t have any. I have my sister and Beau’s sister, some old friends, and a few cast members (I feel weird even calling them that, since they’re my best friends) in my bridal party. And I have no idea what I’m going to do about the order at the ceremony. This has actually haunted my dreams. Why would I rank my friends? I can’t possibly do that because they’re all important in different ways. Maybe I’ll just pick the names out of a hat—make a big show of it, so they can all see how fair it is.

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